38: In Space, Never Get Out of the Boat
The next moment we, and by we, I mean the entire inner contents of the Magus, were flushed into outer space. We moved with such a force that for a moment I was knocked unconscious. What really happened was the vacuum of space sucked the tidal wave of water right out of the ship and I was hit in the head by a free-floating tank.
The icy cold snapped me out of it. I opened my eyes for one second, the longest second of my life. I saw the Banga with a water fountain the size of Niagara Falls spraying out her side. The liquid turned to ice and sparkled all around like crystalline snow. With the Magus behind us, we found ourselves in the void between the two ships. I was surrounded by the universe's deadly frozen empty hand and there were others out there floating in space and dying with me.
My body stiffened. I was almost out of breath. Mox's arms held onto me but I couldn't feel his touch. His face was in my face. He curled his body around me and opened his mouth wide like a prehistoric tyrannosaurus rex, unhinging his jaw and gaping to an unimaginable size. I looked down his pink throat. He inched forward and swallowed my entire head. I closed my eyes. I held my breath for as long as I could and then let it out. I held longer and when there was nothing else I could do, I attempted to breathe in. Mox fed me a slim stream of oxygen. It was a small breath and maybe his last, but I accepted it with nothing but love for the creature who just ate me alive. His breath had a soft cool smell like dew on a field in the morning. Everything was cold and dark. The only sign that I was alive was the slow thin air I continued to draw from Mox's lungs.
No sensory deprivation could compare to this experience. I toyed for years in the realms of deep inner mind lucidity but this; my body weightless and frozen, my senses dulled, utter and total silence, blackness without end; this was something new. I became aware of my heartbeat slowing in my chest. My mind raced.
I began to dream of my previous life. I was young, it was summer, and the sunlight shone through the trees on a thin peninsula of land. I was walking through high bleached grass out toward the edge of a lake. My father was there. He was fishing. He turned around, saw me, and smiled. I carried two cool drinks, walking carefully with them all the way from our campsite. The glasses were slippery with condensation. They were filled with ice and I gripped them as best I could, trying not to spill. I handed one to my father and we both took chilled refreshing drinks. I looked across the water to the point where his line met the surface. There was a tug. The reel started zipping. It was a big one and it was pulling plenty of line.
A hard flat surface collided with my legs and lower body. Mox regurgitated my head. There was a suction sound and I took in a big breath of air. I felt the pressure of an atmosphere and opened goo covered eyes. I heard the sound of a door opening and felt warm air hit me all over. I lifted my numb hand and rubbed it across my face.
Mox was there in front of me in the airlock of the Brick; the safest place in the galaxy.
The Sentinel moved past Mox into the cargo hold. Uzi's Rust-a-gogo was right behind him. The top opened and Uzi jumped out.
"How the hell are you two alive!?"
Mox hit me on the back hard and I coughed up a bunch of goop.
His smile filled my blurred vision. "Your species is certainly durable, I'll give you that. Now, pull yourself together and come see what I caught."
Uzi reached down and helped me off the floor. The feeling was coming back to my body but I was still a bit unstable on my feet. I leaned on Uzi. His scarred face with its mechanical red eye seemed almost friendly.
"You're going to like this," he said smirking as he helped me to the lift.
We went up one floor to the lab and the Sentinel stopped outside the door. Mox twirled around, sword at his side, Veltearrik Acid Blaster held high, balanced off his hip; not that he had hips. You'd have never known he was just drowned and frozen, let alone survived the vacuum of space. He reached to his belt and unholstered his stun gun.
"Let him out."
I looked to Uzi, who was cracking the scar across his face with a shit-eating grin. We all looked at the Sentinel. The compartment in his chest opened and out spilled the slimy octopi blob in a lab coat that was Professor Mildabbar. He hit the floor with a splat and looked up with glossed over eyes. He was a paler shade of purple than normal.
"I'm not sure he weathered the trip very well." Uzi looked his normal angry self again. "Can you see? Are you alright?"
"Put his tentacle in here," Mox said tilting the acid gun forward.
The Sentinel reached with his rusty hand, clamped hard on the Professor's arm, and stuffed his tentacled hand into the barrel of the acid gun. The Professor stood up straight.
"I'm awake, I'm awake! Na, na, no need for the vel, vel, Veltearrik juice."
Mox was taken aback. "I'm surprised you know what this is. After all, it's an extremely rare weapon."
The Professor steadied himself and pulled his arm but was helpless against the might of the Sentinel. He changed color from a purplish blue, to a bright yellow, then to a red rusty color. His skin seemed to take on the exact texture of the Rust Sentinel. Then he changed back to his normal purple cuttlefish self. His eyes regained their deep black radiance.
"We have traveled the galaxy for thousands of years. The Varan are not the only species to explore the depths of space."
Mox enjoyed this response. They were both old space pirates at heart. He removed the acid blaster, spun his stun gun on his clawed finger, and slid it back into its holster.
We walked into the lab. I was growing more steady and stopped leaning on Uzi. He walked behind the Professor and not sharing Mox's camaraderie with our guest. In the center of the big lab table, encased in a glass box, was a piece of a control panel from the Magus.
Mox walked over to a comlink on the wall and pressed a button, "are the Magus' days of terrorizing the galaxy over?"
Blunt came over the speaker, "she's not looking too scary right now."
Mox raised an eyebrow, "would you like to keep what's left of your ship?"
Mildabbar clicked his claw-like beak, "it would sa-sa-seem we have your's."
Mox laughed at this idea. "The Banga isn't my ship but I would trade the survival of yours for her release."
He gestured at the panel, which pulsed with the runes of the Vedma virus code. Mildabbar's eyes narrowed.
"That isn't my call to make. You'll need to speak with Faye."
Uzi preferred a different tactic. He pulled a large blade out from under his trench coat, grabbed the Professor by the arm, and cut off three of his tentacle fingers. They wiggled on the table. Uzi picked one up, smelled it, then tossed it into his mouth and chewed.
"When I was a young man my mother made the most wonderful Mediterranean dishes. I miss the grilled octopus she made in summer. I can think of another use for you," Uzi swallowed.
Mildabbar pulled his arm away, changing colors again.
"This technology is my greatest achievement. I'm not going to share its secrets with anyone."
He lunged at Uzi. A flash of electricity filled the room with a sonic zap and Mildabbar fell to the floor twitching. Mox slid his stun gun back in its holster and walked back to the comlink.
"He's not playing nice. Hit the Magus one more time and make it count. Then get us inside the Banga."
He walked over to the pitiful looking squirming squid on the floor.
"You're going back in the box until you decide to be more cooperative, Professor."
Mildabbar hissed and cursed him in Varan. The Sentinel grabbed the Professor and shoved him back into his chest cavity. Uzi picked up the remaining two fingers and ate one.
"He's quite tasty."
He offered us the last finger. Mox said he wasn't feeling hungry after snacking on my head and Uzi let out a heavily accented "Ha!" then tossed back Mildabbar's third finger, savoring the fine sushi flavor.
We went up to the control room and strapped ourselves in. Zandar Vandar waved me into the co-pilot seat and Styx moved to the side computer station without a word.
"How do you survive these intense impacts inside the ship?" I asked.
Blunt was ready to field the answer when Mox cut him off.
"Let's not reveal our trade secrets, when the Professor is so unwilling to share his."
He gestured to the Sentinel who took up his usual position in the back of the room. We had to assume the Professor was listening and there was no way to know if he was communicating with the others.
We flew with sensors only but they painted a clear picture of what was going on outside. We raced to the front of the Banga and gained incredible speed on the way back. Blunt timed it perfectly. The Magus slowly rotated in space and he hit her in the same spot as the first time. A hole in one if you will. We tore right through the Magus and when we bashed out the other side the ship split in two.
I noticed there were, once again, repair robots crawling all over it. They'd have a hell of a time putting it back together. We swung wide and headed for the giant waterspout that was the port hanger. Ice pinged off the hull as we hit the freezing geyser straight on. The speed and forcefulness of the Brick was enough to get us in. We passed the point where the sea was punctured and Blunt backed up and jammed the Brick into the hole. He pressed the engines to keep the ship against the wall. It slowed the water release down but the port bay doors were still wide open to space.
Mox sent the Sentinel into action, assuring us all the Professor wouldn't mind the cold. In a matter of minutes, the Sentinel managed to manually close the inner hangar door and secure the ship.
"Blunt will stay here and be a plug for the water while we see if we can figure out what's going on. Jonas, can you shed any light as to what our status here is?" he both said and thought.
Only silence.
"X, my lovely, are you out there?"
My head exploded with screaming rock-n-roll guitar and deafening laser blasts.
"A bit busy at the moment, sweets, but glad to have you back."
Silence again.
"Charlie, my little friend, anything to report?" asked Mox.
Charlie lacking some of the militaristic desire for radio silence filled us in on the fact that he was still in control of navigation, life support, and propulsion. Uzi cut him off before he said any more, but he did manage to thank us for closing the port door.
"Taegu, Macrai, any chance of you two giving us a lift?"
There was some fuzzy interference before they came through speaking in Varan. They told Mox it would take at least an hour to navigate the highway system back to the port hangar bay and that they were still chasing down, what I took to be, about a dozen Vedma fighters scattered throughout the ship.
Mox tipped them off, and everyone for that matter, that Faye and Abednego were piloting the Blue Hand Diamond scout somewhere inside the Banga.
Werner chimed in, "I lost them all. I'm the only one left."
He was overrun and when he was the last living member of his team he decided to retreat. He was heading to the cold rendezvous point. Uzi was furious at hearing this over the communications.
"Why doesn't he just lead them straight to all our people?"
We were having trouble with internal sensors, so it was safe to assume either Charlie was jamming them or the Vedma were, but we didn't want to let them know we couldn't see what was going on. We assumed Jonas was moving to the back of the ship, which would be our last stand if need be.
We were on our own for transportation.
"We need to make our way to the shielded computer room. It's the obvious next target. Where the big fight will be," said Uzi.
Mox interjected, "A fine plan, but let's leave both the acid blasters here. They'll eat right through the Banga."
Uzi wholeheartedly agreed and both were left in their box in the cargo hold. Blunt wished us luck. We opened the airlock and drove out on the Rust-a-gogo, Uzi driving and Mox and myself in the sidecar. Standing just outside the ship was the Sentinel droid and Dr. Death.
"I can't believe my eyes. You two must have nine lives," said the happy space marine from behind his diamond armor.
He looked up above us and crawling on the ceiling was the wasp Tim.
"I found him outside. His wings are broken and he doesn't seem to be in the best shape," said Death.
Tim dropped to the wet floor with a splash and a thud. There was still a meter of water flooding the hangar. Mox helped Tim inside the Brick.
"I'll be right back."
He was back before I could finish the story of him eating my head and my being saved.
"I put him in the lab. He's out of this fight. We can remove him from the wasp suit later. He'll be fine."
Mox jumped back on the sidecar and shot orders to the Sentinel and myself. "You stay right next to us. Hands, you're on the gun and don't be shy about it. Let's roll."
Death took the lead rocketing ahead. We moved slowly in the flooded hangar. It was full of bodies and robots parts. Zero-G commandos and dead wolves floated everywhere. We caught up with Death past the first doorway to the highway system.
Forklift was nailed to the wall with rust swords. He must have been underwater for a while and was a bloated mess. Death pulled him down and laid him on a ledge at the side of the road. He kept one of the large electric rust swords. He lit it up with red electric light, testing to see it still worked.
"We'll get 'em for you," he promised.
I couldn't help thinking the same thing myself. Mox was far less compassionate.
"Where is my rust suit you fool?"
I nudged him, "come on, Mox, you know he couldn't resist them, hell, none of us can."
He narrowed his eyes and shot out his tongue, "maybe Uzi will grill them up for us?"
Though said as a joke, it upset me.
Death attached the rust sword to his back and took off. He was out for blood. We followed with the Sentinel at our side axes ablaze. As we moved beyond the floodwater, we were able to pick up speed and quickly caught up with Death at a wreckage pile on the highway.
He pried open the side of the crashed Vedma fighter and pulled a nearly dead wolf commando out. Unfortunately, he crushed its skull in his diamond hands before we were close enough to stop him. He wiped his hands across his chest plate, leaving big red handprints like war paint. He was Dr. Death.
Uzi told him he wanted to talk to the next one they find and twenty kilometers down the road we came across two more working on a shot down Vedma fighter. Death blasted the first one killing him instantly and tackled the other. The wolf was no match for him in his diamond armor combat suit. The Therion soldier raised his weapon and shot Death in the face but it was useless. Death decked the creature and proceeded to snap his arms like twigs. His laser blaster fell to the floor and he howled like a wild animal. Death gripped him close as the wolf thrashed chaotically trying to get free. Death grabbed him by the throat and pinned him to the floor. We pulled up and Uzi got out of gogo.
"Alright, doggie, what's your attack plan? Where are the bulk of your forces?"
Uzi stood over the wolf and it growled at him. With nothing more than a look from Uzi, Death put his knee in the wolf's back, reached back, grabbing its ankle and dislocated its leg. The wolf howled again.
"I'll ask you one more time. Take a good look at your friend over there."
The wolf growled with rage in his eyes, "I'm prepared to die for my goddesses. I'll travel the heavens for all eternity."
Uzi nodded to Death and he destroyed the animal's last functioning limb. Then he stood up and broke the wolf's jaw by prying its mouth open. It lay on the floor a mangled mess, bleeding and whimpering.
"I'm going to give you one last chance," Uzi folded his arms and waited.
Mox jumped off the sidecar and with a flash of his foil, sent the thin sword into the wolf's ear and through its brain. It convulsed, let out a blood-curdling howl, collapsed, and died. Mox shook the blood off his sword with a flick and slid it back into his belt.
"They're religious maniacs. The greatest thing they can do is die for their beliefs. They won't tell you anything."
There were more howls in the distance.
"Let's keep moving."
We raced down the highway and came upon the scene of a recent battle's aftermath. Blasted robots littered the road. They went on for a kilometer or more before we saw the first dead mammoths and the smell filled the roadway.
The mammoth carcass made me feel terrible. We brought the majestic animals back from extinction only to wipe them out again. There were large laser burn holes all over its body. The smoldering burnt hair mixed with the sickeningly sweet smell of flesh. Its eyes were open and staring straight ahead. A large wound in its head was the deciding blow.
Uzi maneuvered around the animal and five more we passed. Zero-G commandos lay dead, many chewed and mangled. Some ripped to pieces. The gore of it all was disturbing. There were wolves too, their bodies riddled with laser blasts. Then we came to a pile of ten-odd wooly mammoth bodies turned into a defensive wall to block the road. At the center, the enemy blasted a hole through.
The road was covered in blood and guts. Bones and shattered robot parts all intermixed. The mammoth bodies at either side of the hole were ripped to shreds. Huge broken ribcages exposed deflated lungs. It was all coagulating ooze, dried blood, and matted hair.
We passed through the opening in the wall of elephants. On the other side lay the last stand of Werner's division of zero-G troopers. The bodies of hulk soldiers lay strewn across the highway. The smaller pilot troops died more ferocious deaths at the claws and teeth of Mega Therion. I felt a pang of incredible sadness from all the unwonted death.
We kept moving. The next thing we found was a half dozen headless wolves. Their heads scattered around like props from a bloodbath horror movie. We came to the battle's finale. There were two grunt troops. One ripped in half with his intestines dragged out across the floor and partly eaten. The other had a rust sword stabbed through the center of his body nailing him to the deck. His head was removed and jammed onto the hilt of his sword. He looked at us as we approached with an expression of surprise and shock left frozen on his face.
Dr. Death kicked it over and we kept going. It was madness and the creatures that did this were the ones we were after. I was scared. I looked at Mox.
"We aren't going to be able to beat them. They're going to kill us."
Mox smiled his snarling smile. His serpentine tongue slid out and around his mouth.
"My fine friend, I didn't let you die in space, you won't be dying here either. How do you say...It is darkest before the light."
My head hung down and I leaned onto the side of the gogo.
"Before the dawn. It is darkest before the dawn."
Mox slapped me on the back. "Yes, that is it," he said very pleasedly. "Everything will be alright. You'll see. Darkest before the dawn."
We didn't pass anything else for the rest of our time on the main highway. We drove unhindered at top speeds. Death rocketed ahead but kept in sight at all times. The Sentinel hovered at our side, keeping pace. Uzi kept his eyes glued to the road ahead.
Mox threw an arm around my shoulder and seemed a bit like a dog with his head out the window, riding in the sidecar with me. He had a way of always being at home in every situation. Maybe that is what everyone would be like if they lived to be a thousand years old. Perpetual childhood fascination with endless experiential knowledge. You might call it wisdom.
I spaced out and spent the next half hour in silence, resting my body, and not thinking of anything; just watching the walls fly by.
We pulled off the highway onto the path that led into the middle of the ship. We knew they must have come this way and figured maybe we could sneak up from behind. We took the fast way around through the smaller side halls. Two Vedma fighter crafts raced past ahead of our position. Dr. Death chased after them and disappeared around the next corner. We slowed before the point where the smaller halls met with the passage that led down to the bigger hall and the shielded control room beyond that.
Explosions rang out in the distance. We could see down to the next intersection. A billowing cloud of smoke blocked the way. She walked out of it like a furry white knight. I saw her sword first. The red electric lightning ran up from the hilt and Nidi shifted her weight onto her left back leg. She lowered the sword to her side and remained perfectly still. A moment later two black-haired wolves ran out of the smoke. She lunged into action. Her sword moved with blinding speed; two massive swipes through the air and through the approaching Mega Therion soldiers. One howled and grasped for the place where its arm once was. The other simply froze and stood straight up. Nidi stepped back and lowered her sword. The wolf remained frozen for what seemed like forever, then like someone tipped him over, he fell to the ground with a dead thud. The armless one ran off into the smoke.
Mox elbowed me in the side, "she's a quick learner that one."
Nidi's eyes met mine. Her white fur stood on end. She was both powerful and beautiful, an animal of cunning and intelligence, the perfection of her species. Was she Mildabbar's true masterpiece?
She smiled that big bad wolf smile of her's that would have shaken little red riding hood to her core. I knew nothing but kindness and love from her big white-fanged grin. She filled me with new hope.
Her head quickly turned forward again, her attention drawn down the hall in front of her where we couldn't see from our position. She raised her sword above her head, then lowered it, powered it down, and slung it on her back. She spun, went to all fours, and tore off running. A moment later a gang of wolves in black padded battle armor came chasing after her.
They didn't take notice of us. We moved forward to the corner and I got on the gun. I heard a vehicle coming fast and I knew it was X before she came around the corner. Laser blasts came with her, ricocheting off the side of her Diamond-a-gogo and leaving smoldering burn marks on the wall. She rounded the corner, saw us, and pulled one of her amazing entrance maneuvers that ended with her bike parked right next to ours. Her sidecar was empty and the cannon was missing. She opened her bike and was naked as a jaybird inside.
"Hey boys, it's about time you got back."
Mox jumped to her sidecar. She grabbed him by both arms and pulled him inside the bike with her. Mox coiled around her in a way that seemed the natural state for a horny lizard man.
I looked at the sidecar I was riding on. It was made of the standard ship metal. I looked at Uzi and I looked and X. He nodded and X gave me the wave. If I was going into battle exposed I'd rather be in an indestructible diamond sidecar than one that was already trashed. I pulled up the rust cannon and brought it with me, mounted it on X's sidecar, and we were off.
"We'll try not to lose you, hold on."
She punched it.
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