IT ALL STARTED WITH HER

They say the most torturous prison is the human mind. That it's constant desires to explore your inner deepest demons in your empty moments can drive you insane. Ebony believed she was immune to this - she was already crazy enough as it was. And not the good, fun, wild kind of crazy that makes you an interesting person and popular. No, she was just bat shit crazy, having happy dreams that would make others quake in fright. In her spare time she reminisced over joyful memories of blood staining her shoes and hands, and she yearned to be back in that moment when the knife was in her firm grip. So yeah, she had long gone off her rocker. 

It was this kind of crazy that landed her in the mental institute, with the most ironic name they could think of. Happy Days Mental Health Centre. More like Hell. Though Ebony imagined Hell to be a nice place, as long as of course you were the one with the thrashing victim in front of you. She heard you could get a good tan there too. 

Okay, so maybe not like Hell. Maybe like Earth. Full of demons and monsters that required a special kind of hunter: a police officer. Humans were the real monsters, destroying the planet and harming their own race. That may be a bit hypocritical of Ebony though, considering she was human, and had done more than the graphic scenes on TV described. 

That was the past, and in the present, she was quite tame. Doing the same routine every day: get up, go to the toilet, eat, take her pills, watch the crappy movie in the 'fun room', take more pills and go to bed. Repeat this for a month and see if you haven't lost your mind and gone full zombie. 

However, on August, the 22nd 2015, things changed. She got a visitor. Even weirder than that, she got two. 

The nurses didn't tell her their names, only that they were close friends of hers. They let no other details pass their lips, and that infuriated Ebony a bit. She was being held there against her will and they couldn't even tell her who wanted to see her? 

Guiding her down the too familiar plain corridors, she questioned them insistently, feeling a thirst for an answer she would receive soon. Still, they didn't provide her with the answers she craved, and she eventually caved as she caught sight of the green door nestled into the corner of the wall. They led her into the 'fun room', which was surprisingly empty. The nurse answered her unspoken question, seeing her eyes scan the the room confused. "We moved everybody to a different room for today. You don't get visitors often."

"There's a reason for that." Ebony refrained herself from screaming that everyone was dead. 

"Well, we'll just be outside the door," the nurses patted her arm and left, keeping alert for her lashing out. She made a habit of that when she first got there; after a month she learned to just let it go, mainly because she no longer had the strength to fight. 

Nervously, she made her way further into the room, eyes passing over the inspirational posters glued to the multi coloured walls, ranging from cringey cats and poetic quotes. A TV hugged the wall closely, the glistening of the screen lying about all the things that hid behind the pixels, and telling lies about the dark stories it'd tell on occasion. Not that she'd been able to see a film that had been rated above PG since being admitted. Her eyes continued to scan the room, skimming over the pool table and the pine table sitting proudly in the centre of the room, despite the amount of vulgar words scrapped into it's surface. It had long lost it's polish, much like all of the patients. She diverted her gaze from the table, her gaze finally fixating on the couch settled before the TV. 

Two figures slouched on the couch. Ebony tensed. They both turned around, and the blood rushed out of her face. 

"Aren't you going to say hello?" 

There was a slight tremble in her voice, and Ebony wished they couldn't hear it. "Hello Dean, Sam. Long time no see."

"Thankfully," Dean remarked, glaring at her in a way that made her think he was imagining killing her, and that he was enjoying it. In all fairness, she couldn't judge, since she had conjured up the same images when being with the two.

"What are you doing here? You dropped me off at this place, why can't you leave me alone?" Ebony stayed near the door, her shoulders hunched and body twisted in the direction of the exit. Her arms were crossed, and the Winchesters noticed how skinny her arms had become.  She'd lost a lot of weight since she was admitted, and Dean allowed himself a quick assess of her gaunt body. She may have betrayed him, but he still cared, no matter how many times he told himself to hate her. Yet his worry didn't evaporate the bitterness of his next sentence.

"Well isn't that the million dollar question?" 

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother, training his soft gaze on her. She held in a gasp, seeing a faint scar on his cheek, and he looked more tired than she had ever seen him. Sparks of guilt ate at her conscience, and she thought that she wouldn't be able to sleep that night from the attack of memories. "We want answers. You did some pretty awful stuff Ebony, and all we want to know is why."

Ebony paused, taking a small step towards the boys. "That's it? I tell you that and you leave me alone?" 

"As long as you never bother us again." Dean stood next to his brother, so much annoyance written on his face he was an entire book, and she was the author. 

"If I tell you, can you answer some questions of my own?" 

"Sure thing." Dean clapped his hands, resting his arm along the back of the couch. "So, why did you do it?" 

"I thought it would be only fair if I got to ask you the questions first, considering, well this." She gestured her arms wide, then crossed them again in front of her. Sam noted that she often ducked her head, as though she didn't want to be seen. She had lost a lot of her confidence.

"Why should we do that?" Dean stepped forward, shoving Sam gently back with his hand, trying to shield him. 

"It's not like I can run off when I get the information I need. I'm watched twenty four seven, I'm given more pills than my body can handle, and I haven't been able to keep in tip top shape. Insanity does that to a gal." Ebony let out a dry laugh, it tickling the back of her throat. She resisted the urge to cough. 

Dean sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He threw his hands up in the air, "Alright then kid, shoot." He back tracked, "Not literally, that was a saying. Not an invitation to blast us full of lead."

Ebony giggled, something that took them all aback, including Ebony. "I know a saying when I hear one, Dean." She cleared her throat, and tucked her hair behind her ear. Mentally she thought of all the ways this could be asked, and eventually decided to be blunt before her courage fled her. "Why didn't you kill me?" 

"What?" Dean did a double take, and Sam stared at her intensely. 

She couldn't look them in the eyes, fearful of what she'd see. "I was prepared to die. I didn't realise this until I landed in this shit pit and actually lived. I wanted to die, but I didn't have the guts to bring a gun to my own head, I needed someone else to do it for me. So I threw myself into dangerous situations without a care for the consequence." She heaved a big breath, real tears blinding her. "The reason for life left this world without me." Her voice cracked, and she openly wiped her eyes. The boys were wary of her still, unsure of whether it was an act or not. "So why take away my right to die?" 

"We're good people, despite what you think. Sure, good people who've screwed up more than once, but still good. To kill you would be still be murder, and we already have enough blood on our hands." 

"One more body wouldn't have hurt." Ebony retaliated, a gleam in her eyes.

"Just one can tip the scales of balance." 

"Then I say let the balance break. It's selfish, but I don't thank you for saving me. You did nothing to help me, so don't walk around as though you're so righteous, because you're not. Like me, you're nothing." She paused, taking note of their crest fallen faces. Long ago she would have to have hidden a joyful smirk; now, she felt guilt lay heavy on her chest. "Keep in mind that's my opinion. It's up to you to decide your worth. I decided mine a long while ago." 

An awkward silence surrounded them, and Sam broke it. "Any other questions?" 

"Yes, just one. Are you okay Sam?" 

"Uh, yeah everything's healed, except this," he pointed at his cheek where the scar shone like a beacon.

Ebony wandered closer to the pair, letting a small smile dance on her lips. "Chicks dig guys with scars." 

"That's the exact same thing Dean said." Dean shuddered, knowing he shared something in common with the person he thought of as a monster. "Is that it?" 

"Yes." She reached the couch, and cautiously she lowered herself down, keeping herself on the edge. Ebony was terrified of what they'd ask - it'd arise a past she buried so deep that it would hurt to dig it out again. "Ask away." 

"How are you doing Ebony?" 

She was taken aback to say the least. She was expecting him to demand a reason for all of the bad deeds she'd done, all the sins she committed. Reigning in her shock, she replied truthfully. "Fine, I guess. First day here they diagnosed me about three different things, each of them needing something like four pills a day. Uh, the waters cloudy, always. Never clear, or pristine. I've forgotten what water tastes like to be honest. My anti-possession tattoo didn't go down well with the staff - most of them still think I'm a Satanist." Dean snorted, and Sam elbowed him harshly. Ebony grinned, feeling her face crack under the sudden pressure. She had forgotten the last time she had let her lips twitch, yet alone bare her dazzling teeth to the world. "Yet, I think I'm getting better, I'm going to counselling to try and control my anger, which is easier said than done. At times like these, I really do admire the Hulk. I'm making progress though."

"That's good." Awkward silence followed, and Sam looked as though he was about to say something. 

"Spit it out Winchester, I'm not getting any younger." 

After a moment of hesitation, Sam sighed, looking up at Ebony through betrayed eyes. "Why did you do what you did?" 

Ebony took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for what was to come. She smiled sadly and with much difficulty. She forced words out of her mouth that would lead her down a dark path of memories that she wasn't sure she could navigate herself out of. "It all started with Celeste Middleton."