DEAD BIRTHDAYS

The date glared at her. It was a number she'd never forget. It was seared into her brain, engraved into her subconscious, and coded into her DNA. 

It was Celeste's birthday. 

Her phone crashed to the ground, landing with a thud on the carpeted floor. She stared in shock at the wall opposite, decorated with photos and post cards, with inspirational quotes thrown in every now and then. How could she have forgotten? Her eyes moistened. She needed to get out of there, she needed to escape and just scream at the world. She hadn't felt the need to do that in a long while, and she had not missed the feeling.   

Gently, Ebony lifted the quilt, sliding out of bed as quickly and quietly as possible. Cool air hit her bare body immediately, goose bumps rising up in retaliation. She moved her arms to hide the glass of her body, the fragile pieces that made her body a weakness, praying that no one would come into the room and expose her. Slowly she rubbed her hands up and down her arms in an effort to get warm, her eyes dancing around the room, trying to find all of the clothes they'd left scattered everywhere in their hurry to connect their bodies. Tiptoeing, she went to the corner where her underwear had been thrown without mercy, silently shimmying into them. Darting around, she found the rest of her clothes, tugging them on in a flurry and attempting to get to the door. 

Creak. 

Ebony froze in place, stopping mid action as she was roping her belt through the loops of her jeans. Her heart thumped wildly. She was panting. She was close to crying. She was close to breaking down. 

Minutes passed, and Ebony still hadn't dared to cast a glance at the beautiful form laying oblivious in the bed, currently residing in the land of dreams. She didn't want to look, knowing if she did, she wouldn't be able to walk out of that door - she needed to walk out that door. If she stayed, she'd fall apart, and that was something she always did alone. If she stayed, she'd say something she'd regret, and in one sentence of words all of the temporary happiness she'd been given would be ripped away from her. If she stayed, she may unleash the anger she could feel brewing within her - and she didn't think she could fix things with torn thread and phoney plasters. They would be finished.

Forcing her eyes to focus on what was in front of her, she bolted to the door, fumbling with her belt buckle. The floor thundered and quaked, making noises of protest as Ebony got to the door, twisting the knob and fled out of it. Skidding to a stop, she waited outside the door. Gathering her breath, she kept alert for any sheets rustling, or squeaks from the bed. Moments later she knew that she was safe. Ebony was surprised that Rebecca had slept soundly through that ruckus, noting mentally that she must be a deep sleeper. She hoped that she would be able to notice that again. 

Letting out a big sigh of relief, Ebony slowed down her pace, making a beeline for the door. The slower she went, the further away it seemed to be. Picking up her stride, she brushed her shaking fingers through her hair, trying to yank all of the knots out of their webs and make her hair appear kept. The task was fruitless, as when she'd successfully de-tangled one, her combing fingers would discover another. 

The door was steps away, her hand quickly approaching. Soon, she'd be out in the open world and she could run away, maybe find some woods and shout and weep and be isolated. Her hand was mere inches from the door knob when the dull ring of a phone blasted. It was a normal, generic ring tone that sounded vaguely familiar. 

Eyes wide, she patted down her pockets, sweat on her palms gathering more with each passing second. When her hands found nothing, she knew. She had left her phone in Rebecca's room. That was her phone ringing. 

Swallowing her fear and pride, Ebony walked back, thinking that it'd be pointless to go all James Bond when the insistent high pitched ringing probably rose Rebecca from her slumber. Not letting herself prepare for what she'd face, Ebony pushed the door open lightly, so that there was only a small gap that she could peep through. Her eyesight strained as she attempted to see the bed, and she had to guess from the fact that the bed covers at the bottom edge were ruffled that Rebecca was up. The ringing had stopped. Rebecca's weary voice echoed throughout the room, and Ebony could hear her yawn. 

"Hello?" Rebecca answered, pacing up and down the room. There was a pause - the person on the other side of the line was obviously talking. Rebecca huffed angrily, giving short replies. The only person Ebony knew to irritate a person that much was Dean Winchester. Without even having to hear the conversation, she knew that Dean was making plenty of innuendos, and she also knew that Sam was most likely profusely apologising in the background and trying to wrestle the phone off of Dean. 

"Yes she spent the night here, is it that big of a deal? She just passed out is all, and I couldn't let her get a cab on her own, or drive her since I was drunk, so I just let her fester here." There was more banter back and forth, Rebecca getting more defensive by the minute. "Look, she stayed here, and now she's gone. I have no clue where she is but she left her phone. Unless you guys have implanted a tracker in her, you're not going to find her instantly unless she wants you to." 

Eventually she hung up, sighing and collapsing onto the bed. Ebony's heart felt heavy. Deciding that she might as well get it over and done with, she pushed the door further, the squeal of the hinges alerting Rebecca of her arrival. Her head snapped up, and her grip tightened on the phone. "Oh, so you came back?" 

This grated at Ebony's nerves. Her patience wasn't great in the first place, but with the added stress and pain of Celeste's birthday she didn't feel like she had the will power to stop herself from snapping back. She was right. "Unfortunately, I am." 

She visibly reeled back, as though Ebony had slapped her. Rebecca speedily recovered, returning her face to neutral as she handed Ebony her phone. "You forgot something as you were standing me up." 

Her sly remark added fuel to the already roaring fire. Impatient, she snatched the phone out of Rebecca's hand, storming off. Behind her, she could hear Rebecca mutter a few colourful curse words, before clambering into jeans and a bra. She chased after Ebony, who was busy firing off a text to Dean - she couldn't handle hearing his smug voice - telling him that she was fine and that she was staying at an old friends house for a day or two to cool down. As soon as the message sent, she turned it off and flipped it off, prying the back off with her stubby nails. 

Rebecca grabbed a hold of her arm, demanding Ebony listen to her. She wanted answers for why Ebony had suddenly changed, why she was being someone completely different to the person she was hanging out with last night. Ebony didn't even acknowledge her questions, taking the sim card out of the phone and sliding it into her front pocket. She'd get rid of the phone later, but she kept the sim card mainly for the fact that she had hundreds of photos of her and Celeste. Once she'd gotten them printed off, she would she dispose of it. 

"Ebony!" Rebecca began smacking at Ebony's arm, hitting relentlessly to get her attention. Still Ebony didn't say anything. Rebecca was sobbing, hitting her arm harder. Ebony knew she would regret what she did later, but in that moment all she could think of was Celeste - her cold, dead, body that had been torched down into nothing but ashes. All she could think of was what they had planned to do for her birthday; go on a tour of all of the extraterrestrial places in the USA, including Area 51 and take a hell of a lot of photos. The only photo they'd ever get of it is a post card Celeste bought on Amazon. All she could think about was the fact that Ebony had promised herself that if she hadn't told Celeste by her birthday that she was in love with her, she'd do it on her birthday or when Celeste was too drunk to remember. 

All she could think about was the memories that hadn't been made. 

She missed them the most. 

"Ebony listen to me!" Rebecca took no note to the tears streaming down Ebony's cheeks, or the hiccuped breaths. Honestly, Rebecca didn't care that Ebony was sad, it didn't give her the right to walk out as soon as they had sex. Ebony still hadn't said anything, trying to open the door; Rebecca would slam it shut each and every time. Rebecca laughed lowly, shaking her head. "You are so selfish. And, God," she tugged at her hair, gawping, "I let you play me." 

The beast inside was begging to be freed, and Ebony had to tighten the chains. She didn't know how long she could restrain herself from doing the one thing she'd regret: hurting Rebecca. Head hanging low, Ebony muttered. "Don't make me do something that I'll regret. I don't want to hurt you." 

Rebecca sniggered, face full of disbelief. "You already fucked that up then, didn't you?" Ebony suppressed a reaction. Rebecca hardly ever swore, and if she did, it was never anything hard core. It was then she knew they'd never see each other again. She just hoped that other people would see Rebecca and that she'd be happy. "I'm happy you did this. When you were fighting those guys in the car park on our first date... You were different. Savage. And I saw the look in your eyes. You enjoyed it. I told myself I was seeing things, because you, the pessimist who loves to shout insults at chick flicks couldn't be like that. I... I don't know if I can see you again without seeing the blood on your hands." 

It was Ebony's turn to falter. Ever since the first date, she didn't trust her. For reasons she couldn't fathom, this just made her angrier. "Oh honey, I've done much worse." 

Rebecca gulped, seeing Ebony for the person she really was. A monster. "Get the hell out my house, and don't ever come back again." 

Ebony stomped out of the house, making sure to slam the door shut on the way out. She knew that what happened would affect their relationship greatly, if there was much of one left, but she had a small nagging shred of hope that muttered her innocent fantasies of forgiveness and happily ever afters. These were the similar thoughts she'd had after Celeste had left, and she listened to it. It wasn't a good idea to listen to hope, it deceives and twists the intentions of the good into the origin story of the villain. 

Ebony listened to the hope. 

-

hey assbutts! we are so so so very close to the end and I'm so sad about it. I love Ebony with all of my heart and I'm not looking forward to letting her go :( remember to ask any questions you have about this book or about myself for the Q&A!

have a nice weekend my awesome peeps. 

adios assbutts

-thirdwheelchurchill