SANITY STOPS SPEECH

Dean had banned her from driving. The moment he saw her sat in the drivers seat he opened the door and snapped at her to sit in the back, claiming he'd 'rather die from his own drunk driving than have little miss innocence behind the wheel.' Even though he had started to trust her slightly, he wouldn't let her drive his car. She didn't take offence - she knew only a select amount of people had had the honour. She hoped one day that she could become one of those people, but she was unsure of the reason why.

For the sake of their lives, Sam coaxed him into the back seat, telling him that he was still within the legal limit. Dean muttered a few words under his breath before falling into a intoxicated sleep. In seconds, snores erupted from him. Covering her mouth to hide her giggles, she shared a smile with Sam. 

"He needs to see a doctor about that," Ebony snorted as a rather loud snore echoed throughout the car.  

Sam lay further back into the seat, "I think the only time he'll see a doctor willingly is if he was invited to be an extra on Dr. Sexy MD." 

"He watches Dr. Sexy MD?" 

"He used to quite a lot, but then hunting kind of..." Sam sighed, rubbing his jaw. "It became a priority." Glancing back, he continued, "I think he believes to redeem himself he needs to kill every supernatural creature. It's not healthy, and sometimes I worry about him." 

Strangely, she could feel herself relating to Dean. The mere thought nearly made her snort - her having something in common with Dean Winchester? Leaning over, she placed her hand on his arm gently. All of her features turned sympathetic. "Redeem himself for what?" 

"He'll probably kill me for telling you this." 

Ebony squeezed his arm, a bit too tightly. Sam shifted under her grip, trying to keep his focus on the road. She whispered lowly, sounding almost like a growl, as ferocious as the smile tearing at her face. "I won't say a word to him about it." 

Sam stayed quiet, not acknowledging her. She bit her lip, slowly withdrawing her hand from his arm and rested her head against the car window. Cursing herself, she let the silence drag on, ignoring the awkwardness blanketing the air. 

"Do you know about Dean having the Mark of Cain?" Sam finally gave in, unable to handle the tense atmosphere. Ebony stiffened, restraining herself from spitting out that it was the reason that Celeste was dead. 

"I heard the rumours." Ebony faced Sam, "They were saying a man with a thirst for blood was running around the streets, causing chaos. An old friend of mine even asked me to help hunt him down but I declined. I wasn't going to go chasing a story, I did that enough when I was in the life." 

"He had it, for months on end. It drove him crazy, it changed who he was." Sam shook his head, letting out a disbelieving laugh. "I can't believe I'm telling you this of all people." 

"You need to let it out Sam, or you'll explode. I don't mind being your therapist." She ignored his snide comment at the end. She was very tempted to ask him sweetly by what he meant, but doing that would cause friction again. 

Sam laughed. "Thanks." 

Dean shifted in the back seat, flopping onto his back and murmuring things. His eyes fluttered, and Sam and Ebony stopped talking, waiting in anticipation for him to wake up. After a nail biting minute, his snores started again. 

"I feel like that's a really brief version of the story." 

"Brief stories are for my sanity, otherwise I'd never stop talking." 

Ebony thought of something to say back, searching her mind for the perfect reply. She wanted answers, but torture wasn't an option so early on, and interrogation would make him wary of her. She couldn't handle another mistake. 

"I like hearing you talk." 

"You like it?" He raised his eyebrows, corners of his mouth lifting up. 

"Yeah, it's reassuring." He frowned. She elaborated, attempting to look flustered by hiding her face from his behind her curtain of hair and making lots of hand gestures. "It's reassuring because it's nice to know I'm not the only one with family problems." 

"Our entire list of screw ups are based on family problems." 

Unsure of how to answer, she just nodded her head, gazing out at the endless road. The smell of alcohol lingered in the car, making Ebony's nose scrunch up. Among many things, the strong stench of liquor was something she hated. 

Sam's grip on the steering wheel tightened, until Ebony was convinced the poor thing was going to break, or get dented. "He killed people." 

She swallowed down her sarcastic gasp, forcing her face to remain neutral. Forcing the words out of her thick throat, she said. "Haven't we all?" 

"We have reasons though." 

"No reason is good enough for us to justify whether someone should live, or die. All the angels you've killed, all the demons, they had vessels. Every time we kill any one of them, we are killing a human being." Her words struck something within her - did them killing Celeste really make it okay for her to kill them? Before she could find the answer, Sam vented on.

"He attacked innocent people, and he enjoyed doing it."

"Sam don't be such a hypocrite. No person is innocent, look at all the regrets you guys have and yet you're considered," she raised her hands and air quoted, "the good guys." She slapped her hands down. 

"But I don't enjoy doing this job, or killing." 

"Then why are you still here?" 

With a jerk, they arrived at the bunker. Dean stirred in the back seat, groaning. Sam and Ebony both knew the conversation was over. 

*

The night sky loomed over Ebony as she sat outside, legs crossed and phone in her hand. She was staring down at the glowing screen, breathing heavily as she contemplated her decision. 

Looking nervously around her, Ebony pressed down on the call button. Each ring of the phone made her bite down harder on her lip, more blood being drawn the longer it rang out. Finally, before the automated message could play, she picked up. 

"I knew you'd call soon. You haven't in a month." Ebony smiled at hearing her familiar voice, and had to glue her mouth shut so no words could break free. "I'm getting scared now. You never talk, and all I hear is breathing. Do you realise I can't sleep after you call?" Her voice got louder, thundering. "I'm terrified of getting murdered!" 

Ebony's eyes watered, and she blinked rapidly to try and banish the tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered, voice wavering. 

"Oh so you finally speak! Are you trying to tell me where you'll hide my dead body?" Ebony heard someone in the background snap her name exasperatedly. 

"I'm sorry." Ebony repeated. She swallowed thickly, feeling as though she was drowning on the inside. 

"Sorry does jack shit. Don't call this number again." 

Before she could say anything, the bleep of the phone sounded. She was alone. Ruby would never know who she really was, or that she had a sister. 

A small tear escaped. Furious, she rubbed it away, trying to control the water before the dam broke. Water was a powerful thing, and could not be controlled by a mere human. 

She gasped as a sudden wave of tears overcame here, and she was heaving, sobbing, yelling, shrieking, and clutching her phone to her chest. Everything from her old life was gone. Dead. There was no one left who would care if she was ten feet under. 

These thoughts sent her into another frenzy, stripping down the layers of paint she wore every day to achieve her goal and revealed her true self - a snivelling mess. Her cheeks were tear stained, her nose over flowing and blocked, eyes puffy and breaths like an asthmatic running a marathon. She was falling apart for the second time in her life. 

The first time was when Celeste died. Her fits of anger she experienced would make her feel like a puppet, with strings leading to the shadowed puppet master who would influence her on every aspect of life. Her grieving made her heart stop beating and morphed her into a callous corpse. Her tears melted away all love and respect she had for the world, blaming a God she knew didn't exist. This experience made her realise that the world can be viciously fair or perfectly unreasonable. 

Ebony didn't fall apart when her parents died. They had turned into heartless human beings when Ruby left. Goodbye hugs, au revoir kisses and adiós family. Ebony and her parents became a team - strictly business, no love or compassion. When Ebony had got hit by a werewolf on a hunt and crashed through a wall, all they did was give her the things she needed to patch herself up and reprimanded her for being careless. So when the fateful day came around and they were laid upon wood and doused in gasoline, she didn't cry. She had mourned her parents long before that. 

"Ebony?" A slurred voice called out, and she was suddenly brought back to the moment. Hurriedly, she tried to wipe away any trace of sadness frozen onto her face. Dean appeared the moment her hand dropped, and his drunk smile immediately vanished when he saw her. "How did you get out here?" 

"I left a rock in the door so it wouldn't close." Ebony sniffled. He would be too drunk to remember tomorrow, and she just wanted a break from the lies and pressure.

"Clever," he admitted, dropping clumsily to the ground. If Dean had been sober, he would've made a mental note to make sure every time they closed the door that there was nothing in the way, but his clouded mind only focused on her face that reminded him of someone who was emotionally drained. If Dean had been sober, he would've thought more deeply about it, and wondered if she did it more often, and if she did, maybe realise that it definitely was her who keyed his car. 

"What are you doing out here?" 

"I wanted some privacy." She brought her knees to her chest, adding extra armour to her already fragile heart. 

"Privacy for what?" 

"You ask a lot of questions when you're hammered, you know that?" 

"That's what ten shots of tequila and," he furrowed his eyebrows and started tapping his fingers, muttering numbers under his breath. He repeated this several times, and gave up. "A lot of beer does to you."

"Do you not care about your liver at all?"

"I'm going to die one way or another," Dean shrugged. 

Ebony laughed, voice cracking. "Sometimes I swear you boys are going to outlive us all." 

It was Deans turn to laugh. "Seriously? Do you know how many times we've died?" 

"And how many times have you been 'resurrected'?" 

"Stop making us sound like Jesus, it makes me feel all... Holy." He shuddered violently. 

"It's true. You guys have been brought back to life more than any of us have; being brought back once would be a miracle to us common folk." 

Dean pursed his lips. "Kid," Ebony tried protesting that she's not that much younger than them both. "One day, we're going to kick the bucket for good. No angels, curses, or soul selling is going to bring us back. So, I want to enjoy life a little before that happens."

She stayed quiet. A week ago she would've been thinking that she was going to be the one who permanently ended the Winchesters, but after his offer to see her sister, him being genuine, she was no longer sure if she wanted to be that person. 

She tried to tell herself that they were both acting like she was, yet no matter how many times she repeated it in her head she believed it less. The Winchesters may have made a choice that got Celeste killed in the process, but maybe they regretted it. Maybe they weren't the murderers she thought they were, and just ordinary men who've experienced one too many deaths. She had made a vow, and it wasn't usual for her to have doubts - things out of the ordinary happen all of the time. 

-

hola assbutts! we're officially half way through Ebony, and I'm so grateful for all of the support you've all given me! your kind words and support give me so much more confidence in my writing, I can not thank you all enough. 

I LOVE ALL OF YOU

adios assbutts

-thirdwheelchurchill