Trigger warning: Eating disorder, depression, suicide, anxiety

For more than an hour, Andy sleeps in Chris' lap, waking because his body is asking for hydration. He looks at his dad, still half-asleep, and mumbles a thank you before slowly getting up and going for a glass of water. The kitchen is dark. He turns on the lights and takes a glass from the cupboard, aware of a presence in the doorway. While filling the glass at the sink, he asks, "Do you know the time?" 

"Just gone nine," Chris replies. "How're you feeling?" 

Andy turns around and leans against the counter, sipping the water. He shrugs. "Pretty shit, to be honest. Needed that sleep, though." Taking a larger gulp, he circles his finger around the rim of the glass. "I don't know, things just got a little insane, you know? I didn't even realise how bad it was until you showed up. Mad what your own brain can do to you when you're sick." He shakes his head. "I should call someone in my band, let them know what's happening. Jinxx has been trying to call all evening. He'll be worried." 

"Yeah, you do that." 

"Then after, I'm going to bed." He looks at the elder. "Thank you, really. I think you and mum just saved me from a complete fucking meltdown. You've no idea how grateful I am." 

"Oh, come on, don't thank us, we're your parents and we love you. Sometimes you just need your parents, and there's nothing wrong with that. Go on, call your band. Let them know you're safe." 

Andy finishes his drink in the kitchen once Chris has gone, rinsing out the glass and leaving it on the draining board before going up to his old bedroom, where the bed has been made for him. He sits on it and looks around. He hasn't been in here for over a year, not that it's changed much. The desk has been moved and there's a pile of books by the wardrobe, but apart from that, it's the same as it has been pretty much since he left to pursue the rock-star lifestyle. 

There's something about being in his parents' house that brings comfort to Andy. Though he knows it's a temporary feeling, he'll take all he gets while it lasts. 

Jinxx answers when he calls. "Andy, man," he says. "I've been trying to reach you, is everything okay?" 

Andy lies back. "No, yeah. My parents kidnapped me. I went a little crazy on the phone with them earlier, told them everything. They came round and insisted on taking care of me, you know, until I can actually eat again." 

"You're staying with them?" 

"Yep." 

"Oh, good. That's good to hear. I'm glad you told them, and glad they're helping."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they just saved my life by doing this. Anyway, thanks for checking up on me, I really appreciate it. You've been so much help these past weeks. I couldn't ask for a better family." 

"Yeah, man, no worries. I'll let you hang up, you sound tired. Let me know how you are tomorrow, okay? Do you want me to tell the others where you are in case they worry something's happened?" 

"Yes, please do. I'll probably call them at some point this week. It depends how many times I have a panic attack over a piece of toast. I'll talk to you tomorrow, then." 

"Have a good night, buddy." 

"Thanks again, I couldn't have gotten this far without you. Love you, Jinxx, sleep well." 

"Love you too, Biersack." 

Andy hangs up. Then he turns his phone off and undresses down to his underwear, crawling into bed without letting himself venture anywhere near a mirror. He knows better than to destroy himself like that, and not after such a positive end to the day. 

* * * 

Breakfast the following morning is where the positivity from last night ends. At the table, Andy sits with a mug of coffee made by Amy, which he takes frequent small sips of, and a bowl of cereal, which he doesn't touch. Eventually, once he's nearly finished the coffee, he says, "Fuck this," and gets up. 

"Andrew," Amy says. "Sit back down, you need to eat." 

"Fuck that." He turns to leave the room. 

"Andrew," she repeats in a tone only she could get away with, making him look at her. "I won't have you skipping meals and I know you want to, but you need food to survive. Sit back down, it's only cereal." 

At that, the younger's features stiffen. For a few moments, he fixes her in a hard glare, then shaking his head and folding his arms. "You know," he starts coldly. "If you don't have anything useful to say, don't fucking say anything. You try eating fuck all for three months and then get back to me on it being 'only cereal'." He looks behind him when a hand is placed on his shoulder, locating Chris. "Don't you start," he spits, pushing the hand off. "I'm going for a drive." 

"Not until you've had breakfast," Amy tries. 

"For God's sake, what's one bowl of cereal gonna do if I don't eat it? Drown me?" He attempts to step past his father, only for the man to take both of his arms and keep him from leaving. 

"You know she's right," Chris says. 

Andy looks away from him. "No, she's not," he growls. "I'm not a kid, let go of me."

"We know it's not easy, Andy, but-" 

He shoves Chris away roughly and heads for the front door. 

Chasing after him, Chris grabs his arms, makes him stand still. "I can't let you go without food," he says firmly. "Because your body needs it and because you deserve it. Come and sit down and we can do it together." 

"I don't want to," Andy retorts. Then stupidly, "I'm not even hungry." 

"All you ate yesterday was a piece pf toast, so yes, you are. Look, son, I'm sorry to be doing this and I hate telling you what to do, but I love you and I can't have you not eat. I couldn't live with myself if I let that happen." 

Andy is looking at the ground. "I like how it feels," he admits weakly. "Being hungry. I like how it feels. I don't want it to go away." 

"You'll be the one going away if you don't eat something." 

"I know." 

"You'd rather that than to have breakfast?" 

"I don't know." 

"Just sit down, okay?" 

"I..."

"Come on, come and sit down. We can talk about this." 

"I don't want to talk." Andy sighs. "There's no point in talking, it just makes everything more depressing. I just want to be thin again." He shakes his head. "They made me fat in hospital. I need to be thin again." 

Chris and Amy share concerned looks. 

"I promised them I'd eat every day, and I lied. I don't want to eat everyday. I'd rather die." 

"You need food to survive, Andy." 

He closes his eyes. "I know," he mumbles. "And I'd rather die." 

"Please, just come and sit down. You look like you could collapse," Chris urges. 

Tell him to fuck off, Andy. You don't need him!  Swallowing tears, he says, "I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I thought I could - I don't know - go in blind and thrash my way through, but now I'm trapped and the only way out is...is to make it all stop." He shakes his head again. "And I don't want to die, dad, I don't. I just...dying appeals to me more than having to gain anymore weight. I can't gain anymore, I just can't." With a defeated breath, he looks at the elder and is quiet for a moment. Then the tears start and he covers his mouth with his shaking hand, bows his head. Stop talking, for God's sake. You're being so pathetic. "God, sorry. I'm being so pathetic." 

"No, you're not. You're not," assures Chris, wrapping his son in a hug and kissing his head. "We'll keep you safe, I promise. It's gonna be okay. I've got you." 

* * * 

Black Veil Brides' fans continue to express their concern as beloved front-man, Andy Biersack, remains inactive on social media.

Following the unexpected postponement of their upcoming tour, Black Veil Brides leaves fans worried for the reasons behind this, many concerned about the sudden disappearance of Biersack's online presence.  

'It's not like Andy to be offline for so long,' one fan says. 'He usually updates at least once a fortnight and shares things on his Instagram story most days. This isn't like him, we're scared something has/is happening to him.' 

Many fans recently have been banding together to show their ongoing support for Biersack by sharing positive posts about their love for him, however it is unclear whether he is seeing these and whether he is aware of the situation online.

Lonny Eagleton (bassist) has told us, 'We're all really upset about the tour and promise the rescheduled dates will be released soon. We love everyone so much and when we're able to return to the road, the shows will be worth the wait.'

With no mention of Biersack, it leaves questions as to just what has happened and why the front-man is the only member of the band who no one has heard from since the postponement. 

For more information on Black Veil Brides and the postponed tour, click here.