I Live in Pasadena

A: Where do you live?

B: I live in Pasadena.

A: Where is Pasadena?

B: It’s in California.

A: Is it in northern California?

B: No. It’s in southern California.

A: Is Pasadena a big city?

B: It’s pretty big.

A: How big is “pretty big”?

B: It has about 140,000 people.

A: How big is Los Angeles?

B: It has about 3 million people.

I Have a Honda

A: Do you have a car?

B: Yes, I do.

A: What kind of car do you have?

B: I have a Honda.

A: Is it new?

B: It was new in 2003.

A: So, it’s pretty old now.

B: Yes, it is. But it still looks good.

A: Do you take good care of it?

B: Oh, yes. I wash it once a week.

A: Do you change the oil?

B: My mechanic changes the oil twice a year.

Do You Have a Girlfriend?

A: Do you have a girlfriend?

B: No, I don’t. Do you?

A: I don’t have a girlfriend, either.

B: Why not?

A: I don’t know. Maybe I’m not rich enough.

B: Girls like guys with money.

A: They sure do.

B: They like guys with new cars.

A: I don’t have money or a new car.

B: Me, neither.

A: But girls like guys who are funny.

B: Maybe we should learn some good jokes.

Walking the Dog

A: Where are you going?

B: I have to walk the dog.

A: What kind of dog do you have?

B: I have a little poodle.

A: Poodles bark a lot.

B: They sure do.

A: They bark at everything.

B: They never shut up.

A: Why did you get a poodle?

B: It’s my mom’s dog.

A: So she likes poodles.

B: She says they’re good watchdogs.

Borrowing Money

A: Can I borrow $5?

B: Sure. Why do you need it?

A: I want to buy lunch.

B: Where’s your money?

A: It’s not in my wallet.

B: Your wallet is empty?

A: I don’t have even one dollar in it.

B: Being broke is no fun.

A: Even if it’s only for a short while.

B: It’s always good to have friends.

A: Friends will lend you money when you’re broke.

B: As long as you pay them back.

Going to the Beach

A: Let’s go to the beach.

B: That’s a great idea.

A: We haven’t been in a while.

B: We haven’t been in a month.

A: The last time we went, you almost drowned.

B: No, I didn’t.

A: Then why did the lifeguard dive into the water?

B: I think he wanted to cool off.

A: He swam right up to you.

B: And then he turned right around.

A: Maybe you’re right.

B: Maybe we should get going.

My Wife Left Me

A: Are you married?

B: No. I’m divorced.

A: When did you get divorced?

B: I got divorced two years ago.

A: Why did you get divorced?

B: My wife left me.

A: Why did she leave you?

B: She said she didn’t love me anymore.

A: Wow! That’s terrible.

B: Yes, it was.

A: Why didn’t she love you anymore?

B: She fell in love with my best friend.

What’s on TV?

A: I’m bored.

B: What’s on TV?

A: Nothing.

B: There must be something on TV!

A: Nothing that’s interesting.

B: What about that new game show?

A: Which one?

B: “Deal or No Deal.”

A: Tell me you’re joking.

B: I love that show.

A: I watched it once. That was enough.

B: It’s on right now. Let’s watch it together.

A: I like living here.

B: I agree. Pasadena is a nice city.

A: It’s not too big.

B: And it’s not too small.

A: It has great weather all year long.

B: It has the Rose Parade.

A: It has beautiful houses.

B: It has wonderful restaurants.

A: It has great schools.

B: It’s close to the mountains.

A: The people are friendly.

B: I’m not ever going to leave.

The New Mattress

A: We need a new mattress.

B: What’s the matter with this one?

A: It’s not comfortable.

B: It seems fine to me.

A: I toss and turn all night.

B: You should stop drinking coffee.

A: Look at these marks on my arms.

B: What are they?

A: They are bites.

B: Did the cat bite you?

A: No. The bedbugs in that mattress bit me.

B: Okay. Let’s get a new mattress.

My Laptop Is So Slow

A: My laptop is so slow.

B: Buy a new one.

A: I would if I had the money.

B: Why is it so slow?

A: That’s a good question.

B: Did you take it to a computer shop?

A: I would if I had the money.

B: Well, I guess you have to live with it.

A: Sometimes I want to throw it out the window.

B: You don’t want to do that.

A: Why not?

B: You might hit someone in the head.