The shadows are moving, I swear. I don't know if it's the lack of sleep catching up to me or loss of blood, but those fucking things are starting to slither across the concrete towards us. I blink away the nightmare, shaking my head. My companion regards me coolly with those haunting eyes of hers. Those eyes... made of flashes of silver, of steel. I was done in by their colorless stare the moment I found her huddled in a pile of blankets in an SUV. What's that been, now... a year... No, over a year, I think. Surprised we made it this long.

I don't know that I'd ever tell her how much that stare of hers creeps and captivates me. I can only glare back, the silence stretches for a moment, and in it the piercing shrieks of the outside world press into the flimsy boards that some asshole thought would work for walls against our solitude.

"What were you, in the before?" her voice is raspy, soft.

Not soft in a feminine way, but soft as in low volume. It's a voice hardly used, strangled and strained in the effort to push out the words. Her lips fail in the scope of the talking those grey eyes of hers do.... But it's the first words she has uttered in days and it's a relief to know we're on speaking terms again, even if it's only because death is pressing in around us, forcing her to feel obligated to conversation.

I don't mind. At least it's a distraction from those fucking shadows crawling in through the door crack behind me.

"In the before." I chuckle. A sound even less pleasant than her out-of-practice voice. "Is that what you call it?"

She tilts her head, the pale blonde strands of her hair casting her eyes into shadow. "There was a before, when the world made sense-- And this is the after."

She tilts her head back to the other side, a ray of light shimmering across the colorless pools of her irises from the dirty window above us. "And after this, there's nothing."

"A philosopher." I grunt. "I think I like you better as the silent, weird kid."

"I'm not a child, we both know that. You only pretended so Deo-" she pauses on the name, her lips drawing back into their thin lines as pain flashes across her face at the too recent memory.

Yes, up until a few hours ago there were still three of us. I wonder if she's been counting down the little ragtag group as I have. I could handle three of us.... But now we're down to one and a half... the odds of us making it at all slipping away with every breath.

I get it, honestly I do. I'm the reason she's alive, but I'm also the reason her friend is dead. A lot of people thought a lot of things about me, in 'the before' as she puts it.... But what I did for a living didn't mean I wasn't a person. I just did things that nobody else wanted to—for one reason or another. It didn't matter to me as long as the cash was legit and the checks cleared. Everything in my life was fine, until a snitch got away from me. I hope he got what everybody else has got by now. Everyone, but this girl here... can't say I can include myself anymore.

I shift, careful not to move my arm too much to let off the pressure or let her see. I'm not ready to admit that I'm going to be leaving her alone soon. Not yet, not yet.

She clears her throat. "Anyway, what did you do, before all this? I've wanted to know for a long time."

I meet her inquisitive face, and the strength to lie leaves me. I could tell her I was anything. I was a rich CEO who banged three girls at the same time every Tuesday, I was a bartender who used to overcharge my regulars, I was a janitor with a wife and five kids just trying to make ends meet...

"I was a bad man." The words hang heavy in the air, but there's no taking them back.

She just sits and stares at me a moment, those silver eyes draining me of what little resistance I have left. Christ, I'd tell her anything just not to get lost in those lucid pools. It's so unsettling, how undone I get about her.

"You were a bad man?" she stands up and walks towards me, her hips swaying ever so slightly in those denim shorts beneath the oversized bomber jacket hiding the rest of her. I can't help but to wonder what is hiding under that bomber jacket of hers.

"Implying you've changed?" she squats down in front of me, those eyes boring into me.

I want to push her away, I want to pull her closer. I let my gaze fall to her perfectly pouty lips as I answer, "It's all a matter of context. Context, you understand?"

I shut my eyes, unwilling to watch her judge me as I spill my guts. "It's not that I was a bad man, and now I'm not.... It's the world that defined what I did as "bad", now has a completely different outlook on such behavior."

"What kind of behavior?" her question is a little more breathless. From fear, or something else, I'm not sure.

I open my eyes to meet her steel ones. "The kind's that's saved our lives up until this point, kid."

"Like what you did to Deondra?" her eyes drop, a brief respite.

"I did what I had to." I shrug, instantly regretting the motion. "It's something you're going to have to do soon enough."

"What do you mean?" she glances at my arm tightly pressing into my side and those eyes of hers widen. She knows. The glance back to my face opens her expression up like a book. There's definitely fear, not of me, but for me. We're the last.... and I'm about to leave her alone in this shack from hell. I wasn't ready to say it, but I can feel time slipping away. Not enough left for anything.

"I could..." I lick my lips, pushing the thought out of my mouth before I lose the nerve. "I could end it all right now. For both of us, if you want. It's be easy enough for someone like me."

It's not much of a choice, we both know it. It's the only form of mercy I have left in me. It's all I can offer the one thing that's kept me sane through the insanity of it all. Before this, I did bad things to people; but the world around us now makes me look like a goddamned saint for wanting to save one last thing in it.

"It's funny." I laugh, not too much, my gaping side wound won't allow it—but it is pretty funny. "I don't think I've given a damn about anything in my life, other than a mangy cat I had for two weeks as a kid.... Before my dad found it. Now here we are, getting ready to die because I suddenly found a conscious."

Well, chances are I would've died eventually, but they'd have been long gone if I had followed my gut and left them were I found them. I give myself only a second to contemplate if this is any better for her than what may have happened if I never pulled her from that vehicle.

"I don't want to die." Her whisper is as loud as a scream. "Show me how to use the gun."

I search those haunting eyes, as hard as steel. Yes, I believe in those eyes. I know she won't last long after I'm gone.... Not with this shack about to fall on us, but there's no harm in giving in to that small thread of hope. She's strong, stronger than she was when I plucked her from that car... there's a chance.

"Here." I hand her the pistol.

She gingerly takes it, cradling it in both hands like it's a baby bird.

"You can't be gentle with a gun, sweetheart. It's for one thing. Now, see that button? Yea, next to your thumb. That's the safety. Once you press it, you're good to fire. Remember that, it's very important."

She nods, glancing between the pistol and me.

"When you fire, hold it with both hands. There's gonna be a kick, you'll get used to it... but plant your feet firmly, unlock the safety, and pull the trigger."

"Now?" she searches my face.

"Not now." I manage a small smile. "Wait until I quit breathing, okay? Now, repeat what I told you, so you got it right."

She repeats my instructions, verbatim, gripping the lowered gun with both hands.

"Good girl." I shut my eyes for a moment. I can relax, I know she'll do what she's gotta do when it's time.

Moments seem to tick into hours, I can feel myself drifting asleep. I try to fight it, but my eyes won't open, and my body feels heavier than it ever has before. I'll just take a short rest...

I force myself just awake enough to tell her one last thing. "Will you promise one thing?"

I hear her shuffle, it's probably a nod, but I can't open my eyes to check, so I just spit it out. "Promise me, if you can't get out... you'll put that barrel behind your right ear and not let them get you."

There's a long silence in the dark, then the deafening sound of a gun going off next to my head. If she ever answered me, I wouldn't know.