I couldn't believe what I saw. Who was this girl and what was going on between them? I wouldn't let him deceive me. This was just not fair! "Excuse me Mira, I'm sorry but I need a minute" I apologized and walked away. Disappointed I left the tent and inhaled the fresh air. Trying to control my breath I was able to hold back my tears. Although I was a little bit jealous I was more disappointed. I thought that I was something "special" for him but it seems like I wasn't. Maybe he was just being polite and it didn't mean anything to him.  After taking another deep breath I decided to go inside again. The music and all the happy people appeared even more annoying to me than before. My mood had dropped and I was just annoyed, kind of. I couldn't really describe how I was feeling. My feelings were all over the place. Sad, disappointed, jealous, angry... I just couldn't believe that he had exploit me. I shook my hands as if I wanted to shake off all of the things that dragged me down. And at least it helped me a little bit. I didn't feel completely lost in my mind anymore.

I didn't want to be alone so I looked for Jennifer. "Hey, you alright?" she asked me when I sat next to her. I nodded. She didn't seem to have recognized I felt uncomftable. So I just smiled and listened to her excited conversation with some other guy I didn't know. I enjoyed that because that meant I didn't need to concentrate. Just being able to sit there and listen was very relaxing. Concentrating was not the thing for me right now. I was just way too much in my thoughts at the moment. This whole thing with Tim hurt me more than I expected.

"Do you want a drink as well?" This unfamiliar guy startled me out of my thoughts. "Huh? Yes, that would be nice" I answered him. While this man was bringing us our drinks, Jennifer asked: "Are you surely OK? You're so quiet." I fake smiled and told her that I just hadn't spotted anybody yet I knew. I didn't wanna tell her what'd really happened. And I also didn't want to disgrace myself in front of her with my honest answer. "I'm good, seriously." She nodded disbelieving but before she had time to dig deeper, her friend returned. "Here girls your drinks" he didn't really noticed me, all his attention was on Jenny. So they didn't realize that I downed my drink in one, they were way to busy with flirting. But if this night would continue the way it had started or even worse I would definitely need some more of those drinks.

I still couldn't understand what I had seen. Firstly I didn't know how this blonde girl was, but on the other hand I didn't even wanted to know. Maybe knowing would be more painful than being clueless. Probably she was his girlfriend... or his one-night-stand! I wasn't even sure which option would be worse. In my hopes she was just his sister but it was more than obvious that she wasn't. Clearly there was a flirtatious side to whatever they did.

And there was a jealous side inside me. A side that was not happy with any of these options, a side that wanted him for me alone. But then there was my brain which told me that this would never ever happen and it was completely right. Life wasn't a fairytale and things wouldn't happen if you only wanted them to. In this real world you had to work hard for your dreams and it seems like I hadn't worked enough to achieve the dream of Tim liking me. Yes I wanted him to like me because there was a part of me that liked him to. Really liked him.

I let my gaze wander through the room and Tim and his girl caught my eye again. For a second I had the feeling Tim looked me in the eyes but after blinking, it looked like he was completely busy with his new girl. To survive this night, full of boredom and jealousy, I would definitly need some more drinks...