♦ Dedicated to VanillaWind for being someone who's mature, caring and supportive, and someone I can have actual conversations with while also having loads of fun. :p You're an amazing writer, and your personality and skills and the calm way you handle everything while also being hyper is something I hope to learn. You're amazing!! <3 ♦

Oh hay look I was gone for one month xD This was just plain procrastinating and prioritising my other books before this. Sorry to those few supporters out there *crickets chirping* aNYWAY

:I do not own Pokemon or the images used in the cover, but the plot, personalities and the edited cover belongs to me. You may not copy, translate, or reproduce it in any form unless given permission by me, @NyxAbsol.:

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❝ What would you be selfish for?

Would you want to kill for the sake of everyone else?

Or

Would you want to protect at the expense of everyone else? ❞

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I stared at the remnants of the two Pokemon—the Espeon and Umbreon that I had killed. The creatures that had died because of me.

Today, I'd learnt what the emotion of guilt truly means.

Guilt was the ice lacing my guts. It could have been a hundred degrees out and I'd still be frozen on the inside. I couldn't melt it on my own, and I couldn't shift it to someone else at all.

It ate at me, pestering me like an annoying voice that refused to go away no matter what I did. A fire burned in my mind and throat. Remorse hit me like a three-ton sledgehammer. I could feel Jirachi's burning gaze carving holes in my heart like invisible daggers.

"They're gone," Jirachi stated. Her voice had taken on a robotic, cool tone, masking her grief by setting her face to one of casual indifference.

I hadn't just become a murderer. I'd hurt my ally—not just in a phisical manner, but mentally.

Regret washed over me like the long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down my spine. Those two Pokemon were Jirachi's friends, and one of her few joys in her monochromatic life—and I'd taken that happiness from her too.

I had been selfish, after all.

"I'm sorry." Those two words couldn't even begin to make up for the pain I'd dealt to my friend. "I was selfish."

"Whatever," she answered, her voice flat and dark eyes far colder than usual. "They chose to die. Besides, it was for the better good." The legendary snarled out the last few words in an icy tone, as if she didn't actually believe in them.

I knew she did. Jirachi had supported my cause from the beginning—she'd believed it was worth fighting for, but seeing—and being the one to perform the killing blow at that—her two friends die in front of her had shaken her.

I guess that did make us selfish in a way—me willing to sacrifice lives to better the world in the perspective of my vision alone, and Jirachi wanted her friends to be saved while ignoring the despair that legendary Pokemon—herself included—faced.

When we looked at it again, we were both the same. We just didn't want to admit it.

"I killed two of your friends," I mumbled, looking up to the sky, still painted in its abstract hues of red and blue. "...If you leave, I won't blame you."

The silence in the small temple made my blood as cold as the autumnal air that crept through an open window, and the dual-typed creature avoided my gaze as she spoke.

"I said that I don't care." Her voice had begun to lost its cool, and I could see the stone-hard defences start to crumble. "Can't you get that through that thick head of yours? I'll continue helping you." Her words were sharp, more so than her usual mellow  and I could hear her voice crack just the slightest bit.

The remorse churning inside me had multiplied—I don't think I could ever look upon myself as a Legendary again.

Avoiding her piercing gaze, I looked on as the final shard that held the two Pokemon in the physical world started to fade away.

I bowed my head down—a sign of respect and reverence—and pressed my gem to the glasslike piece of the duo's entwined souls. If I looked closer, I could almost see the silhouettes of their faces glancing back at me, eyes bright in blissful happiness.

Sleep, I whispered. I hope you have a happy dream tonight.

The fading face of the Espeon smiled back as the fragment began to disappear, starting to make its way into the afterlife where the siblings could finally be reunited in a place where all their worries would disappear forever.

You've already given us one.

༺༻

It seemed that Arceus had modelled Heaven after a forest today.

Cool water flowed by, eddying around the twigs of a fallen tree branch. Behind me was a willow tree, the same as the one I used to sit by every time Arceus had changed the landscape to one of a default woodland.

Across the river sat a Staravia—it was either a dead spirit or created as an illusion— its black plumage resplendent it what must have been the light of summer, though it seemed to be just the early morning.

I was sure that it would be evening somewhere else in the world, but Arceus had mentioned before that his favourite time of day was morning.

I was glad that the Creator had chosen such a peaceful setting today. It slowed the tremors of emotion that threatened to paralyse my nerves; the wind whistling through every cell of my being and calming down my racing heart.

I had heard people and Pokemon alike talk about "mixed feelings" like it's an exception—but for me, it had become the norm. I was scared to try and scared not to—scared to try and hurt my allies and friends like how I had hurt Jirachi; yet scared to give up and allow the injustice towards my fellow Legendaries to continue.

The ambivalence was, in all its brutal simplicity new—and unwelcome. After all, my job didn't require me to display these emotions in any quantity.

I sighed, forcing my gaze to drift back to the river in front of me.

The thick strip of water passed through the entirety of water, clear and crystalline.

The water was a healthy shade of teal, darker in the shadows and paler in the light, but still green. Against the pleasant cacophony of the bird Pokemon that welcomed the new day, the gentle murmur of the water could only just be heard, a backdrop to the musical notes coming from above.

I was being selfish again. Despite the pain that ripped through my heart and mind with merciless force; despite the harsh stinging that came with each bated breath, I felt different.

I felt alive.

Perhaps it was this agony that had warped my mind, setting it free from its caged prison—or this pain that was the key to spark a chain of unidentified emotions. Perhaps the recognition of my flaws and the events of the past few days had started to mould me into an actual Pokemon—into a being that was able to feel.

How pathetic, I thought to myself. I'm just like a doll—willing to feel the pain that beings usually hate just to consider myself alive.

Pressing my eyes together to rid them of the dull ache behind my optics—I guessed that it was from having stared into space for far too long—I rose into the air, ready to leave.

However, a diaphanous voice prevented me from doing just that.

Cresselia, the impassive voice uttered. I turned around, meeting with the telescopic emerald orbs that seemed to bore into me, unearthing my every secret.

I bowed—the action had been burned into me for centuries—and greeted the Creator. Lord Arceus.

The tall, cream-coated Pokemon rose to his full height, a hint of weariness creeping into his voice as he spoke.

You've destroyed the first order of the world, have you not? He didn't seem mad—instead, he spoke with the fatigue of a jaded, old man, who had seen too many tragedies in his life and had accepted them as they came.

I am sorry for defying you, my Lord, I told him—and it was genuine. But I have to do this. I have to do this for the sake of all the Legendaries in this world.

He just circled around me, graceful on his feet—just as expected of the creator of the universe. It was rare to see him display such emotions, and hearing those foreign emotions falling into the perfect blend of his rich voice almost caused me to reconsider my decisions once again.

It is better if you stop now, he cautioned, shaking his head with the slightest motion. I hope you realise the gravity of what you are doing, Cresselia. Think about what you're doing.

I wanted to snap back at him, but such a tone was inelegant of a Legendary—and most disrespectful towards someone as powerful as Arceus.

Instead, I controlled my breathing with a tight contraction of my muscles, instead managing a calm response. I have thought about it, my Lord. I dared to look up, meeting his stone-cold gaze as even as I could. This is for the better good. Yes, it may be selfish, but I do believe that it will stand to benefit the never-ending lives of immortals like us.

Even for someone like you, Lord Arceus, I added, nearly forgetting to add the honorific "lord".

Despite the flawless facade that the Pokemon put up, I could imagine the look he showed deep inside—the one that belonged to the tired, lost creature and not the strong pretence of a Creator that he displayed to everyone.

I came to remind you, Cresselia, he stated, voice sharp to hide the upset boiling deep within. You have duties to fulfil. Do you even know of the consequences that come with doing this?

If not me, who? I argued back. I heard it from a human once.If I don't do this, who will?

There was a pregnant pause before he answered. I'm just going to say this one more time, he spoke, defeated. Think before it is too late.

And with that, he was gone—disappearing just as fast as he had arrived, without any trace of him left behind.

༺༻

I made haste to leave—the talk with Arceus had more than rattled me, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the once tranquil utopia.

Exiting the thick forest, I was met by an unpleasant, sharp change in lighting, rid of the light mist that had cast those same beams of light into sepia tones; having caused the woodland to become the most beautiful of photographs.

Soon enough, she arrived at her desired location—a small area several feet away from Arceus' reigning kingdom—the place where the Creator oversaw the events of the world each and every day.

The lake-side air was thick with the fragrance of jasmine. I gazed across the wind-ruffled surface to the flowers blooming on the wide lily-pad dishes of stray Lotad, their white or magenta petals catching the breeze.

I inhaled, dragging out the action so that it was as slow as possible.

Peace.

At least, it was much-needed serenity that I could obtain from the last trickling drops of time I would spend in Heaven for today.

As I was about to tear my gaze away from the castle, a familiar figure at the corner of my eye caught my attention.

A shadowy Pokemon without a definite form, his old, ripped cloak of murky darkness swathing his figure, concealing the wailing, tormented screams of relentless nightmare-infected faces. A spiky red growth and his burning ruby gaze interrupted the monochromatic scheme of his body.

Darkrai...? I blinked my eyes in confusion, my mind was a surging perplexity. He's not needed in the Legendary Council, and even if he was, there's no meeting today. Furthermore, Darkrai's doesn't seem like the type to even want to step foot in—

My train of thoughts was rudely cut off by a muffled voice from below me, and my wandering mind registered it as Jirachi's snappy tone.

Are you done yet? Her tone was vexed, and it was clear that she hadn't recovered over Espeon's and Umbreon's death just yet. We need to get going.

I shot back a hurried yes, my subconscious opening up the void to transport myself back to the world below.

I snuck a final glance at my sibling—the whole reason why I had even begun all of this—and tried to console myself, to reassure my overwhelmed mind that it was most likely a minor issue that I didn't need to be concerned with.

Yet, dread crept down my spine like a careful spider leaving a trail of silk, and it pushed against me like an invisible gale, as the tiny voice in my head warned me that I should have been worried.

It warned me that I was involved in the reason behind my brother's sudden visit to Heaven.

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Yay~! Hope you enjoyed ^^

Thank you guys for 1.1k reads and 139 votes! Though we didn't reach the goal of 150, I admit I was being a little greedy. Ehehehe. My next goal is 145! :D

Read, vote and comment as always, critiques are extremely welcome and now *salutes* Nyx out! :)

~ nyxia ☆