In case you somehow weren't aware, none of this is canon. I just watched the second episode in season two of the Mandalorian and I wanna blow up some spiders right now. (11/8/20)

Please enjoy this chaos!

From the Rejected Cutscene Files:
Spiders in the City

  Pod 042: Alert: large life form detected in this area. Propsal: leave area at once

2B: If it just a life form, I believe I can handle this.

Pod 153: Alert: large life form is showing signs of anger. Propsal: investigate the area

9S: Wait do you want me to die?!?

Pod 153: Negative. A tactical support pod is dedicated to the sustaining of it's units' life.

9S: yeah yeah.....

The ground just in front of 2B and 9S opens up and from it crawl hundreds of thousands of tiny spiders.

2B: What's going on?!

9S: these are spiders....this is not good!

2B: Pod, send request for aide from the resistance camp!

Pod: Negative. Communication is jammed. Proposal: dispatch of spider swarm immediately.

9S: That's not so bad, I mean, we can just step on them right? Easy.

He spoke too soon. A behemoth of a spider crawls out of the cavern, snapping its pincers. 9S backs away.

2B: Pod, do we know anything about this thing?

Pod 042: There is no record of this in our records. It may have existed long before humanity died out.

9S opens his mouth to say something but closes it.

9S: all we need to know is that it's big and it's got all those LEGS WE'RE GONNA DIE!!

2B: FOCUS NINES.

Commence the boss fight. Le giant spider gets WRECKED with a laser, and the body falls into the pit. Meanwhile the little demons just keep coming.

9S: lets get out of here!

Pod 153: unadvisable. The creatures will keep following you.

2B: then what DO we do?!?!

9S: pod, are you sure we can't call for backup

Pod 153: Confirmed, communication lines still down

2B and 9S are forced to back away from the spiders. They are almost overwhelmed by the spiders, until a weird yellow glowing thingie shows up and kills all of them. When the smoke clears, Eve is revealed, eyes tightly closed and flailing his arms wildly.

Eve: are THEY DEAD?!?!?

Pod 042: proposal: eliminate Eve.

Eve sees 2B and 9S. Caught off guard, he throws a shoe at them before quickly vanishing.

2B: That...could have gone better.

9S: I'll say.

2B: Pod, where did Anemone say the ship was?

Pod 042: the resistance cargo ship is located near the flooded city. Marking location on map.

End of cutscene

From the Rejected Cutscene Files
Disney Princesses

Adam: interesting...this walt Disney fellow appears to have been quite popular. I wonder why?

Eve: well the humans loved his movies, maybe we could watch them together!

Adam: That sounds like a splendid idea.

Eve: YAY!!!!

Blah blah blah you do your mission blah blah blah boring cutscene part two commence

Adam: ask them my questions and get some answers, what's a fire and why does it-

Eve, bursting in: UNDER DA SEA, UNDER DA SEA, NOBODY BEAT US FRY US AND EAT US IN FRIKASEEEEEEEE

Adam: be our guest be our guest put our service to the test!

Eve: in a wrestling match nobody BITES LIKE GASTON

Adam: I USE ANTLERS IN ALL OF MY DECORATING

Eve: I want adventure in the great wide somewhere! I want it more than I can take!

9S, looking at the machine files:.....what the actual heck......

You would think I would know how to spell the words in under the sea, but eh I'm proud of it

I hope you enjoy this crack chapter!