If at any point in this story you start to feel triggered or overwhelmed, please stop reading. Don't force yourself to continue - be kind to yourself <3

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Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Present Day

Virgil followed me into the room, gasping as he caught sight of the large silver casket. It wasn't open, but it was still jarring to realize that the man who had given Virgil a new vinyl record just last week (Pray of the Wicked by Panic! at the Disco, Logan assumed that Virgil hadn't found it yet and it was the last P!ATD vinyl that Virgil needed to complete his collection) could be inside that coffin, just... gone.

Logan's Dad and Patton were standing in the front, closest to the casket. I looked around briefly for Logan's mother - though I wasn't surprised not to see her. Logan's mom had moved away quite some time ago and didn't come down to Florida much after the divorce. Whether it was a money thing or just not wanting to come, I didn't care. What kind of terrible, despicable human being doesn't come for her son's funeral?

Patton spotted us easily enough, quickly excusing himself from the conversation he was in with an older woman - possibly Logan's aunt - and walked over, smile more forced than I remembered it being yesterday. "Hey, I'm glad you guys decided to come," he said, mostly to Virgil, quickly giving the emo a firm hug.

Virgil just closed his eyes, arms staying limp at his sides - not hugging Patton back as the seemingly endless tears rolled down his cheeks. "This... feels so wrong. He should be here, he shouldn't be in - no, not in - in - "

"I know, Virgil. We know," Patton coaxed, using his thumbs to brush Virgil's tears away. "But you know what? I'm really proud that you decided to come, kiddo," Patton encouraged.

"Thanks Pat," Virgil returned weakly, trying to smile before ultimately giving up and just closing his eyes.

"Let's go sit down, alright?" I interrupted. "Where do you want to sit?"

"Don't care," Virgil pulled out of the hug and also let go of my hand, instead opting to shove them into his pockets. "When does it start?"

"In a half hour or so," Patton answered. "Are you sure you don't want to...?" Patton fumbled to a slow awkward halt. Instead he flickered his eyes to the front, closer to the casket.

"I - " Virgil looked anxious, biting his lip and dropping his head so that he wouldn't have to meet anyone's eyes. "I... Should I?"

"It's entirely up to you," I answered. "If you want to go to the casket, then go. If not, that's okay. No pressure either way."

Virgil hesitated. "I... no, I think I'll just go sit down," he dodged. "But please, if either of you guys want to go up and... yeah," he finished awkwardly, dropping his head.

I looked up at Patton, but Patton's eyes were on Virgil, worried.

"We'll be right back, okay?" I smiled. Virgil nodded, settling down in row. I watched for a moment longer, at the way his leg bounced anxiously as well as how he dropped his head. He probably didn't want anyone to see him crying again...

Patton grabbed my hand and together we walked up to the casket, not saying anything.

"You're worried about him," I whispered, not wanting Virgil to overhear.

Patton hesitated before nodding. "I know what I said yesterday, but... but I don't know anymore. Something has changed with him. I don't know what, but something is wrong and I don't know what. Maybe I'm just being silly," Patton sighed. "Maybe the wrong thing is that Logan's inside that casket."

"Or maybe there's many wrong things," I suggested, giving Patton's hand a small squeeze. "But Virgil will be okay. We all will, Pat."

Patton adjusted his glasses, which were starting to fall down his nose. "I hope you're right... what about you? You still haven't said much," Patton pointed out. "Please tell me that you're not bottling up your feelings."

"I - " I went to deny it... but I couldn't lie to Patton. Patton understood.

"I'm here when you're ready, alright?" Patton smiled softly. "Whether that day is today, a week from now, years from now. You can talk to me about anything. I'll always be here for you."

I smiled softly at that. "Yeah, I know. Thank you, Patton. Really."

Patton and I stayed silent, hovering in front of the casket. Neither of us felt inclined to say anything.

I jumped, startled, as I felt someone take my left hand. I looked up to see Virgil - his face a mess from crying so much. He didn't say anything though, eyes fixated on the casket.

Virgil's brown eyes fluttering shut. "Felt wrong, not being up here with you guys," he murmured, bangs falling over his eyes but he didn't bother to fix them.

I didn't respond, instead I squeezed Virgil's hand lightly, understanding.

Virgil squeezed back.

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