If at any point in this story you start to feel triggered or overwhelmed, please stop reading.  Don't force yourself to continue - be kind to yourself <3

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Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Present Day

After a couple deep breaths, Patton pulled back.  "How are you doing? I know you and Logan didn't always get along, but..." Patton trailed off, eyes softening in concern and thinly veiled worry.

"I'm fine," I crossed my arms over my chest.  Change the subject, change the subject.   "Honestly, I'm more worried about Virgil.  I didn't think he'd struggle with this so much.  I feel bad that I can't help him through this..." I murmured at the end.

"He's grieving," Patton gave me a small smile, probably all he could muster.  "And that's normal, healthy even.  Virgil needs time, but he'll be okay.  And we'll be here to help him though the rough parts."

"I'm still worried," I admitted.  "I wish  we could just skip over this part, skip right to when Virgil is better.  Or even better, skip back and save Logan."

Patton winced.  "You can't change the past, Ro.  And this sucks - this really, really sucks.  But Logan committing suicide wasn't our decision to make.  It was his decision, his mistake."

"Yeah, but Logan doesn't have to live with the consequences," I muttered bitterly.

Patton recoined at that, taking a surprised step back.  "Roman," Patton said quietly, bringing me back to myself.

"I - I'm sorry, Pat, but," I ran an angry hand through my hair.  "I can't help being at least a little mad at him.  Look what he did," I gestured to the remaining three of us.  "Look at the consequences of what he did.  You can't look at this and tell me that this is really what Logan wanted."

"People are allowed to make mistakes, Ro.  We're only human," Patton encouraged.

I didn't bother responding, instead returning to the cakes.  I grabbed the piping bag and continued icing the rest of the cake.

"Do you think you'll go to the funeral tomorrow?" Patton asked.  "Is that the real reason that you didn't come to Logan's viewing today?"

"No I - " I exhaled harshly setting the pipping bag back on the table.  "I was worried that Virgil might do something stupid if I left.  That's why I didn't go.  I'm mad at Logan, but I wouldn't miss a viewing for something as superficial as being mad at him."

Patton didn't seem to have anymore to add.  "Well, I think that you and Virgil should both go to the funeral tomorrow," he said quietly.  "I think you'll both regret it if you don't."

I frowned at the cake.  "I'll think about it," I admitted.  "But I can't speak for Virgil.  If he's not going, I'm not going - simple as that."

Patton didn't say anything, instead leaving the kitchen and disappearing into what Roman assumed was his room.

"I'll go."

I jumped, startled to see Virgil blinking sleepily at me.  "Oh, you're awake.  How much of that did you..."

"Enough," Virgil dodged.  "But I'll go tomorrow," he said matter-a-factly before dropping his head back on his arms, clearly intending to go back to sleep.

"Virgil, you don't have to go.  No one will judge you for not wanting to go," I argued.

Virgil sighed, sitting up in the chair - still sitting cross-legged.  "I've made up my mind.  I'm going.  Now you can stay here if you want Princey, but I - " Virgil shook his head.  "But at Logan's funeral... that's where I need to be tomorrow."

I nodded slowly.  "Okay, the funeral ceremony starts at 10, there's going to be another viewing starting at 9.  Do you want to go to both?"

Virgil hesitated, momentary indecision on his face.  "Yeah, yeah I'll go to both."

"Are you sure?"

Virgil rolled his eyes.  "I swear Princey don't you dare make me start second-guessing myself.  I'm going to both, I'm borrowing one of your suits cause I don't have one, and that's that.  And also," Virgil pointed a stubborn finger at me.  "Stop worrying about me.  I'm over the pity, Roman.  I'm not going to snap like Logan did, so stop worrying about it."

"You can't be sure of that," I argued, subconsciously running my fingers over Virgil's name on my wrist.

Virgil didn't notice.  "I know that my brain messed up right now," Virgil pointed at his temple.  "That stuff isn't something you get over in a day, Ro.  And I'm not okay yet, but I will be.   I'm not going to follow in his footsteps.   I will not repeat Logan's mistake.  And we are all going to get through this together.  Okay?"

"Okay."

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