Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Present Day

"The cake and cupcakes turned out beautiful, Ro," Patton smiled at me, gesturing to the three layer galaxy-mirror themed cake on the table. "Logan would've loved it."

I didn't have the heart to muster anything more than a half-hearted smile in return.

"What's on your mind?  You look like you're a little lost in your thoughts," Patton asked finally, grabbing my hand and guiding me towards the large, soft, brown couch.  "Talk to me."

"I - no," I shook my head, pulling my hand away.  "Not now, Pat.   Please."

"This is the time to talk about it," Patton encouraged, grabbing my hand insistently.  "I mean, that's why we're all here.  To help and support one another," Patton argued, gesturing to all the people around us.  I scanned the room quickly, but I didn't see Virgil; I figured he'd gone to hide away in his room.  "Please, just let me help."

I sighed, running my free hand through my hair.  I guess Patton wasn't going to let up.  "I - I'm just mad at myself," I confessed.  "All these people have so many good memories with Logan and... and all I can remember are the bad ones.  And I know that I have to have some good memories too, but..." I trailed off.  "I can't help replaying all the arguments.  I feel like we never got to... gosh, I just hate how many fights we had, all the hurtful things that I said.  And now Logan's gone, and there's nothing I can do to fix them."

Patton didn't say anything for a moment.  He paused, trying to decide the best way to respond.  After a minute he just squeezed my hand, smiling softly at me. 

"You're allowed to forgive yourself, Ro.  It's okay.  Just make sure not to make the same mistake with other people, and I think Lo would appreciate that just as much," Patton wiped away a tear that landed on my cheek.  "You're not a bad person, Roman.  You both did things that you weren't proud of.  But you guys had good times to remember as well.  The moments where the two of you got along are all the more powerful for it.  Focus on that instead," Patton smiled, getting to his feet.  "I wanna go check on Virgil, make sure he's doing alright, but did that help?  I know that this is... not the easiest to deal with."

I just nodded, not trusting my voice.

Patton seemed to understand, reaching down to give my hand one last squeeze before leaving to check on Virgil.

I sighed, dropping my head in my hands.  If only it were that easy...

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