*Slams hands on table*

IT'S FUCKING BAD
DON'T WATCH IT
IT'S BAD

And here's why:

I would like to give a little history lesson first off-
Heathers first started out as a movie in 1988 about Veronica Sawyer is basically the assistant to a group of girls who's names are all conveniently named Heather. She gets with this one guy named JD who turns out to be a fucking psychopath. They go on, kill a few kids, JD tries to kill everyone in the school but ultimately dies in a... Very explosive way. The end. Boom I just summed up Heathers for you without too much gorey detail. You're welcome.

And then someone made it into a musical which is pretty good, gotta love it.

BUT...

Now we're in 2018 and we're presented with a new Heathers remake.
But here's the problem and I'll make it very clear.

This movie casts the Heathers as minorities while Veronica and JD stay white. And when I say stay white I mean... You probably get it. It was 1988 so it wasn't a diverse set of cast.
So let me first summarize the first movie in a sentence

Two fucked up lovers attempt to kill three white, rich stereotypical girls to "make the world better"

So how about now we have a bit of context on the characters:
Heather Chandler is now "fat" woman (Not really, but that's how they put it)
Heather Duke is a genderqueer individual (Which... I actually like as a character... They're pretty cool)
And Heather McNamara is a woman of color (I'm not digging the bangs though... Meh...)

But now let me remind you... The Heathers are the villains of the movies (And musical, I'm counting that too). Three minorities playing the villains of a movie.

(*Cough* Also Heather Duke was Asian (Alice Lee) and Black (Kristolyn Lloyd) in the off-broadway production but it doesn't really count since you know it's broadway, they do that to characters all the time... Because understudies and that's how it goes and it's pretty much fine-ish *Cough*)

So let me rephrase that sentence I said earlier but for this movie

Two fucked up white teenagers attempt to kill three minorities to "make the world better"

This movie doesn't come out for at least a couple of months but I'm telling you, it is going to be bad.

No not bad. Terrible.

Paramount network, what the FUCK are you doing.

If you wanted to remake Heathers, casting three "it's funny that they're somehow popular" minorities as the villains is not the fucking way to do it.

I'm not exactly saying recast the Heathers so you're not fucking being LGBTQphobic, racist, and a dick towards those who are overweight or fat...

But I'm saying recast the Heathers so you're not fucking being LGBTQphobic, racist, and a dick towards those who are overweight or fat!!

Why would you think this was a fucking good idea?!

As for you all, please I beg of you, don't watch or promote this movie.

Sincerely, E