Confessional- Cassandra

"Everything was going...so well. Until...until it happened. I don't know if we'll ever be able to recover. We are divided now...family means nothing."

*Cue intro video.*

*Camera pans over Wayne manor before cutting inside to the kitchen where Helena is looking in the fridge. Dick is texting on his phone, standing by the counter. Cassandra walks in and grabs an apple from the bowl. Duke appears in the doorway, smirking. He cups his hands around his mouth, shouting four words that incite chaos.*

"The floor is lava!"

*Instantly, everyone is moving. Dick barely hesitates to fling himself backwards onto the counter, landing on a pile of papers. Helena scales the fridge, perching herself on top triumphantly. Cassandra flips herself up onto the island as Duke wedges himself into the doorframe, hanging onto the top of it by his fingers.*

"Cool, that was easy. Now how long does it stay lava?"

"Until the last of us dies a fiery death, Helena. You know that."

"So, who is going to be the first casualty?"

"Dad."

"Oh, without a doubt."

"I heard my na-"

"The floor is lava!"

*As soon as Bruce hears those words he scrambles to get off the ground, jumping onto one of the chairs by the kitchen island.*

"Damnit! You kids know I suck at these games. I always end up needing to eat or go to the bathroom."

"That's why you come prepared, daddio!"

*All four kids reveal snacks hidden on their persons, Duke bracing himself against the door frame with his feet.*

"You know who is even worse than dad at this game? Terry."

"That's not fair, Dick, he is a child."

"All's fair in love and war, father."

"So how long do we stay here?"

"Dad, you know the rules, we played this last week."

"Damnit, I have a meeting in three hours. Not all of us are going to die by then."

"That's why you've got to be like us and play dirty."

"...what did you kids do...?"

"You'll see."

*The next person to enter the kitchen is Selina, tapping on her phone. She looks up and sees the position everyone is in and before anyone can say anything she leaps onto the wall, toes landing on the baseboards as her fingers stuck to the wall, her phone landing on the floor.*

"Mom, how are you doing that with your hands?"

"Thank Wayne Tech. I had them come up with a special cream just for this instance that makes my hands extra sticky when they get sweaty."

"Yeah, it makes holding her hand really uncomfortable sometimes."

"That's genius! I wish I thought of that."

*Coming in from the opposite doorway from the one Duke was perched in, the same one his parents came through, was Damian.*

"Father, Terry is- what is going on he-"

"The floor is lava!"

"Oh, crap!"

*Damian jumped onto the kitchen island, leaping from there to the cabinets. He crawled on top of them, wedging himself in between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling.*

"Anyways, as I was saying, Terry is looking for you. I think he is hungry."

"Ooh, whatcha going to do, dad? Your youngest needs you, duty calls. Are you going to take one for the team, continuing your streak of always losing?"

*Bruce looked torn, glancing at Selina.*

"Sel-"

"I am literally stuck to the wall."

"But I always lose! I want to win, just for once."

"Marrying me was a win."

"Yeah! Tell him, mom!"

*Bruce sighed.*

"If he is hungry, he'll make his way to the kitchen...eventually."

"Bruce!"

"What?! I am determined to win!"

"Determined to win wh- oh, fuck. The floor is lava!"

*Jason, upon entering the room and seeing the positions everyone was in, leapt at the decorative chandelier. He grabbed it, lifting himself onto it. But once he did so he noticed someone had tampered with it just a moment too late as the whole thing went crashing down with Jason. He landed on the floor with a groan.*

"Dick, I know that was you."

"Actually, that was me. Dick always goes for the chandelier so I thought I would be getting him with that little sabotage. But, since it was you and you landed in the lava, you are now dead, Jason."

"Fuck you, Helena."

"Jason, I have little ears here. Refrain from foul language."

*Tim calmly entered the room, stepping on Jason and the wreckage of the chandelier with Terry in his arms to get to the fridge. He opened it, pulling out a yogurt tube for his little brother before handing him to Bruce. Tim then climbed on the other end of the counter from Dick, picking up a banana. He hurled it at the base of Bruce's chair, hitting it square on. The chair then collapsed, knocking both Bruce and Terry to the floor.*

"Tim! You could've hurt Terry!"

"Yeah, but I didn't."

"How'd you even know that would work?"

"I weakened that chair last time we played in here. All it would take is a throw from the right angle and it would topple. I know Cass always goes for the obvious choices like the counters or the chairs so I thought I'd be getting her, but now I got two in one."

"Nice work Tim. Three down, seven to go."

"Alright, somebody needs to die."

*The papers under Dick started to shift and with them, Dick. He screamed dramatically as he fell off the counter, landing on the floor in a heap.*

"Well, that works. Now, we have six. Who is going to be the next to go?"

"Not me or Helena. Our spots are secure. Nothing is touching us."

"I wouldn't get too cocky, Damian."

"Damn, my foot is so itchy-"

"Duke, no-!"

*Duke adjusted his position ever so slightly, and fell, in what felt like slow motion, landing on the floor next to Bruce, Terry, and Jason. He yelled a very prolonged 'no' as he did so, arms flailing to break his fall.*

"Welcome to death, brother."

*Selina's eyes widened when she felt her hands start to slip. She scrambled to get a grip but ultimately failed, joining her family on the floor.*

"Ah, the final four. Who-"

"Its the final count down! Da na na na-"

"Shut up! Don't you dare get that song stuck in my- fuck its already there. I wish the floor really was lava now."

*Alfred entered the room and saw what was happening. He sighed.*

"Miss Cassandra, Master Tim, please get off the counters. That is where food is prepared."

"Sure thing, Alfred."

"...alright."

*Tim swung the cabinet below him upon, flipping upside down to heave himself into it. He shut the door behind himself. Cassandra sat in one of the non broken chairs only for it to break underneath her, sending her crashing to the floor.*

"Curse you, Tim!"

"I take it Cass fell?"

"Yup. That leaves you, Hel, and Damian. Who will win? Who will be the next to die?"

"You know, for dead people, you sure talk a lot."

"Come fight me, brat."

"I'm not going to fall for that o- achoo!"

*Damian sneezed, hitting his head off the ceiling from the force of the sneeze before dropping it onto the cabinet below, smashing his nose. He yelped, holding his nose in pain.*

"I think I just broke my nose!"

"From sneezing?"

"I hit my head, you imbecile! Oh, great, I'm bleeding."

"On the cabinets?"

"Nice to have your priorities straight, Dick."

"Are you saying my name or-?"

"Both."

"Damian, we need to get you looked at. I'm calling off the game. I think there has been enough destruction for one day."

*Helena and Damian both make their way down from their perches, Damian's nose spewing blood. Helena offers to drive him to urgent care. Jason says he will go with them, after he puts a child lock on the cabinet Tim is in. Everyone exits the kitchen, leaving Tim in the cabinet.*

"Hello? Did I win?"

Confessionals- Timothy

"Technically I won. Even though the game was called off, I didn't touch the floor until seven hours after Helena and Damian, making me the winner of the game and the winner of the longest game we played. Yeah, it is only longer by three minutes, but still. I won."

*Yelling from off camera.*

"Well, if are speaking of technicalities...do you remember who Dick took to the dance freshman year? That counts as a date, hence dating, which technically means you've f-"

"He's what, Tim?"

"Um. I just remembered this super important thing I have with Conner. Bye Dick!"