"We do not remember days, we remember moments."

                                                  -Cesare Pavese

Your face remained stoic, void of any emotion or any kind of feeling at all.

Your eyes were trained on the empty plate in front of you as your mind raced with numerous thoughts, your hands shaking uncontrollably as you struggled to keep your eyes set before you.

You could feel everyone's eyes on you, each one of them studying your quiet form as they chewed on their food.

You had been far more hungry than you anticipated. You managed to finish your food quickly, scarfing it own hungrily. You were starving. You were cold and you were tired.

You couldn't bring yourself to look around at the men surrounding you. You knew that if you did, you would only feel worse about yourself and you weren't in the mood to deal with such strong emotions at that moment.

If you looked at Hoseok, you would be forced to face him after what he had tried saying to you. If you looked at Namjoon, you would feel embarrassed from what he may or may not have heard. If you looked at Jin...well, you certainly would feel far worse.

"I'm going to bed." You breathed out softly, slowly standing to your feet.

Hoseok's golden-brown eyes softened on your figure, his own body moving to stand.

"I'll walk you to your room."He stated.

Your blue eyes widened slightly, head shaking.

"I'd rather go alone." You said. "I'm really tired."

You weren't ready to face your own feelings, let alone anyone else's. You just wanted to go and sleep.

The former warrior frowned, not buying your words even for a single moment, his hand reaching out to yours.

"I just want to make sure you get there safe."

You slowly pulled your hand away from his.

"I'll be fine."

Seokjin watched the exchange with curious eyes, his heart sinking for some unknown reason.

He didn't understand himself.

The only thing he knew about you was your name. He didn't know what kind of person you were, or how you knew him...he didn't even remember meeting you...but ever since he saw you, he has found himself feeling things that he didn't understand-things that he had no explanation for.

Every time he saw you, he thought of the lily pond in the courtyard.

Beautiful and deep.

He often had to stop himself from reaching out to you and touching your hand...comforting you...and he didn't know why...he had never been one for affection, not even with his close friends and family...so why were you so different?

"Just let me take you-"

"No." You interrupted.

Hoseok furrowed his brows.

"Y/n," He started. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." You argued.

His eyes widened slightly, taking a step forwards.

"You know that isn't true." He gritted. "After what happened...we both need-"

"Stop." You pleaded softly, eyes clashing with his. "I already told you: I can't deal with this right now."

Seokjin rose to his feet at your tone, his brown eyes studying over your form with concern.

Hoseok sighed, running a hand through his black hair.

"Y/n-"

"Goodnight."

You pushed your way past Hoseok, blue eyes set in determination as you walked towards the door, trying to contain your own emotions.

You felt like you were suffocating.

You cared for Hoseok. He and you were close to one another, but you already had so many things running through your mind-so many emotions that you knew you had to deal with...You couldn't manage to deal with his feelings as well as your own...It would be too much.

A sound of surprise left your lips as a warm hand enveloped your own, stopping you in your tracks.

A familiar feeling of dread began to wash over you as you felt yourself slowly begin to slip from reality.

Your blue eyes clouded over, multiple visions and senses flowing through your body as you were pulled into a trance-like state, your body going rigid under the man's touch as numerous visions began to flash through your mind, taking you back to different moments in time.

You could only watch as the memories began to play out before you.

"Y-You can see me?"

Your eyebrows furrowed, gaze still hard on him, slightly annoyed with the way he avoided answering your question.

"What are you talking about?! Of course I can see you! Why were you groping me!?"

His mouth fell open at your response, his bright blue eyes clouding over with tears.

"You.....You can hear me?"

You scoffed at him, crossing your arms over your chest, confusion beginning to over-take you.

"Yes. I can hear you."

"Touch me."

"Are you crazy? I'm not going to-"

"Touch me."

You blinked in surprise as the familiar scene played out before you before changing.

"He looks like a peach."

You gave him a dirty look.

"Go away." You mumbled.

"What?" Taehyung asked, slowly pulling back from you.

"What?" You countered nervously.

"Well he does!" Jin huffed. "He looks like a peach! And peaches are round, soft and hairy!"

You could feel yourself beginning to fall apart, your composure slowly fading away.

"Ready?"

You gripped Jin's hand.

"Ready."

"Okay. On the count of three."

You took a deep breath, squeezing your eyes closed in anticipation.

"One. Two-"

You screamed out in agony as your wrist was suddenly jerked harshly, the bone popping back into it's socket as a neck-breaking pace. Tears streamed down your cheeks and your hand left Jin's to cover your mouth.

Sweet mother of god. That hurt.

Jin instantly jumped into motion, his arms wrapping around you as he continued to pet your hair, allowing you to bury your face in his chest as he softly "shh'd" you.

Hot tears began to stream down your face at the familiar scene, all the feelings you had tried to bury coming back to you in a rush of emotion. 

"Don't touch me."

He raised his hand to your face, his skin only inches from yours.

"I said: Don't touch me!"

He moved his fingers to brush against your cheek, but all he felt was air.

His blue eyes widened at the lack of your warmth.

He tried to touch you again, only for his hand to fall right through you as it had done with everyone else before you arrived.

He couldn't touch you anymore.

He couldn't feel you anymore.

Oh no, no, no, no.

God, please no!

His panicked gaze raised to yours, tears falling freely now.

"Y/n." He sobbed. "Don't do this."

You shook your head, backing up as your bottom lip trembled.

"Please!" He cried. "I need you! I can't be alone again! I can't!"

You didn't give him another glance before you turned on your heel, running off in the opposite direction, Hoseok following after you.

"Y/n, Please!" Jin screamed, tears never ceasing. "Come back to me!"

You could feel yourself loosing control as you watched him sob in the rain, your heart clenching in your chest.

"Then yell at me," He breathed, taking a step closer. "Yell at me. Scream at me. Hit me for god's sake..but please...don't shut me out."

You shook your head, looking down as you bit your lip.

Jin's free hand grabbed yours, his body moving closer to yours.

His eyes studied your features as he stared down at you, lips parted as he began to breathe heavily.

"I know that I messed up." He began, his voice cracking. "I know that you and I are two completely different people who live in two completely different worlds...but despite that...despite the fact that it should be impossible for the two of us to meet....we managed to find one another."

You swallowed hard, staring at his chest.

"You found me, Y/n." He said, his heart racing. "I know I'm not perfect. I know that everything about me is flawed and that forgiving me will be one of the hardest things to do in your life...but I can't- I can't just give up on us."

You didn't know when your heart began to beat so hard, but you found yourself hanging onto every single word he spoke to you.

Jin's hand moved to rest on your cheek, his thumb stroking the soft skin of your face.

"I thought that forcing you to take my place was the only way to stop my loneliness. The only way to make people see me." He started. "But, then I realized...that I don't need the whole world to see me...As long as you looked at me every day with those beautiful blue eyes...I don't need anyone else."

"Jin..I-"

"I love you."

Normally, you would have frozen at his words.....you would have been completely taken aback with shock....but you weren't.

"But I never told you," Jin breathed. "I never told you what I should have said. No I never told you, I just held it in and now I miss everything about you and I can only hope that you want me after all the things we've been through."

You moved your eyes to his.

"I can't- I can't love you." You croaked. "After everything..I-I can't-"

His hands wiped away the tears that trickled down your face, his eyes still soft as he listened to you cry.

"I can wait for you." He stated.

"B-But why?" You asked.

"Because I don't just want love from you." He said softly. "I want everything that comes with it. I want your friendship, I want us to share laughter like we used to...even if you're not in love with me yet...just be beside me...Just be there."

He planted a kiss to your forehead before continuing.

"To me...the small things matter." He breathed. "Every word, every laugh..every brush of your skin against mine...Those things are what keep me sane...Just knowing that you're there."

You couldn't stop the sob that escaped your lips as you relived the memory. You had had visions like this before, but none of them were this vivid-this painful. It was as though you were feeling every single emotion all at once.

"Y/n," Jin sobbed quietly. "I-I'm scared...I-I don't want to die. I-I don't-"

You shook your head, wiping his tears with your thumb as you stared at him sadly.

You knew what you had to do...

It was as clear as day..You needed to save him and you didn't care how you did it..

You didn't care how much it was going to cost you..

"Y/n!" Hoseok urged, as Jin's body stopped moving under his hold.

"Kim Seokjin," You breathed out, planting a soft kiss onto the spirit's forehead.

"Y/n?" He started softly, eyes widening in realization.

He shook his head fervently, grabbing your upper arms desperately.

"Oh no. N-No no no!" He shouted at you. "Don't you even think about it! You-You can't-"

"It will be okay." You soothed softly, your own tears falling as you pet his hair.

"It-It won't!" He argued. "Please don't-don't do this!"

"Kim Seokjin," You repeated.

"No Y/n!" He pleaded. "Stop-"

You sent him a sad smile, before continuing.

"I release you."

A loud gasp left your mouth as the visions finally ended, your blue eyes widening in surprise as your chest heaved.

Seokjin stared at you with widened eyes, his heart pounding as all of his memories began to rush back to him in a single moment, a flood of emotion hitting him like a ton of bricks as he watched you move your gaze to him.

"Y/n..."

The sound of your name pouring from his lips had you tensing up, hands wiping away at your cheeks as you stared at him.

You could see it in his eyes..

He remembered.

A/N,

Hey, babies. Sorry for the long wait, I've been busy.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did.

And I also hope you have a great day/night.

I love you.

I adore you.

I purple you.

I'm out!

-Max