"Healing does not mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives."

         -Anonymous

Trigger warnings: Mentions of suicide. Read at your own risk.

"Beautiful. Isn't it?"

Your eyes shot over to the young Emperor beside you, a small smile pulling at your lips as your moved your eyes back to the night sky above you.

It was one of those nights when the air was cool and moist, the sky was cloudy and dark, but the moon hung above everything shining big and bright, illuminating the dark world that it watched over so fondly, allowing you to see for miles even though it was dark. A night where the air smelled sweet and fragrant and you could relax and even fall asleep.

You nodded your head slowly.

"It is."

After spending the entire day with the young royal, you had grown used to his sweet and soft behavior...although you were still confused about what exactly brought about this sudden change.

You, Jungkook and Grace had played together all day. He showed you hidden spots in the garden, took you to the cherry trees and even let Grace sit on his shoulders so she could touch the soft petals with her tiny hands.

He had his cooks prepare a picnic lunch for all of you and you ate underneath the rosy blossoms, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

At first, you were extremely skeptical about what his motives were and you were hesitant about allowing him anywhere near Grace...But there was something different about him...Maybe you were insane, but this Jungkook did not seem like the man you had encounter the day before...he was gentle and soft-spoken...a gentleman to say the least...and the way he played with Grace made you certain that something was up with him...

After the three of you ate dinner, you received word from Yoongi, telling you that he had been called away for work and wouldn't be returning for a while. He asked you to watch Grace for the night and you happily agreed.

Jungkook seemed thrilled at the idea of getting to spend more time with her as well, telling his servants to prepare a grand meal for the three of you.

The blond toddler indulged herself with anything she could get her hands on and you watched as Jungkook spoiled her, giving her anything her little tummy desired.

After dinner, you all laid in the garden, staring up at the night sky. After a while, Grace crawled in between you and Jungkook, taking shelter in the warm that your bodies produced.

With tired eyes and a full tummy she fell asleep between you and Jungkook, her soft snores now filling your ears.

"I had fun today." You confessed sincerely.

Jungkook nodded, a quiet chuckle escaping him as he petted Grace's blond hair.

"I did as well." He stated. "Today was the most fun I've had in years."

You bit your lip in hesitation as silence fell over the two of you once again.

You had so many questions to ask him...There were so many things you didn't understand.

But...should you bring it up? You had so much fun today and the last thing you wanted was to ruin it by opening your mouth.

You supposed that it would probably be best to keep your questions to yourself, but you needed answers. You needed to know if you could trust him or not.

"Jungkook," You spoke softly, gaining his attention.

He continued to stare at the sky, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"Hm?"He hummed.

You took a deep breath, analyzing your words before speaking.

"Who are you?"

He froze at your odd question, his body tensing visibly beside you as he swallowed hard.

"What do you mean?" He replied, trying to play dumb. "I'm Jeon Jungkook, Emperor of China-"

You sighed.

"You know what I mean." You stated. "There's something different about you."

His heart dropped in fear at your accusation, panic settling over him. He did not need to blow his mission.

"D-Different?" He repeated. "I don't understand."

You turned your body to face him, eyes scanning over his face as he watched the sky nervously.

"I think you do." You deadpanned. "Since the first day I arrived, you've been nothing but terrible to me. You even broke my wrist...but today...you're nice. Sweet. A completely different person."

He squeezed his eyes shut, processing your words for a few moments before speaking again.

"I just-" He paused. "I'm in a good mood today. That's all."

You chuckled lightly, making his heart jump.

"You and I both know that this," You motioned to he hand that was currently playing with Grace's blond hair. "Is not just because of a "good mood"."

Jungkook let out a shaky breath as his brown eyes began to sting with unshed tears.

You were right.

This wasn't a good mood.

This was the him-the real him.

The him that wanted to bring happiness wherever he went. The him that had feelings and desires. The him that loved kids. The him that didn't want to rule. The him that wanted a family just like this someday.

But how was he supposed to tell you that? How was he supposed to explain to you that he wasn't a bad person? 

He wanted to scream.

This was it.

This was his last chance at freedom and he blew it. He couldn't bring himself to do what his father had expected of him and now...he was going to be trapped forever. These last few moments were all he had left before he was forced back into the darkness of his own mind.

He had grown so used to being a slave that he had forgotten what it felt like to have a choice. He had forgotten what it felt like to feel.

And now that he was free...He didn't want to go back.

He was scared.

God, he was so scared.

Your blue eyes widened as tears began to slide down the sides of his face, his brown eyes never leaving the sky.

"Jungkook, are you-"

"I'm sorry." He croaked causing you to freeze.

You didn't mutter a word as his body shook underneath the night sky, his chest heaving as he bit his lip to keep himself from breaking down.

Your heart ached at the sight.

"I don't-" He cut himself off, trying to keep his composure. "I don't want to be a bad person."

You bit your lip, your own eyes beginning to fill with tears as you watched the once strong man slowly begin to crumble and break before you.

You didn't fully understand what he meant, but that didn't matter. You didn't need to know...You didn't need to speak...You just needed to listen.

Sometimes, you just need someone to listen.

"I don't want to hurt people." He sobbed, eyes finally moving to yours. "I don't want to hurt you."

Your chest tightened at his confessions, eyes softening on him.

"Maybe-" He sniffed. "Maybe I should just die."

Your eyes widened instantly at that remark, your heart stopping for a brief moment as you shook your head.

"No, baby." You comforted, slowly picking up Grace and placing her on the other side of you so you could reach the young Emperor.

You wrapped your arms around him, allowing him to rest his head on your chest.

He hesitantly relaxed into you, his own arms wrapping around your waist tightly.

"Why not?" He sobbed. "It would be better. Nobody wants me anyway. All I do is disappoint people-hurt people. I'm useless and stupid."

You tried to contain yourself. It physically hurt you to hear Jungkook talk about himself in such a way. 

"Jeon Jungkook." You started with a shaky voice. "You and I do not know each other very well. We come from two different worlds and to very different backgrounds...but if there is one thing you need to remember...it's this."

You took a deep breath before continuing.

"I will not sit here and tell you that what you're feeling isn't real...because it is...i know you're hurting and that you think no one understands just how much you want the constant pain in your heart to stop...You think it's not worth it...You think no one will miss you...but, baby....Where you're from...What you've done...Whoever hurt you...none of those things matter. You're precious and you're beautiful and the world will try to crush you and blow out your light....but you have to stay strong...You have to allow yourself to be loved by someone. Even if it seems that no one around you cares...There's always someone that you can depend on...I know that you won't just change immediately and that learning to move on and love yourself is hard...but in order for you to get better you have to take the first step in the right direction....and I promise you that over time...day-by-day things will start to get better...even if it seems impossible or improbable...There's always something better."

Your words seemed to cause something to snap within the young royal, the wall he had worked so hard to build up breaking instantly.

He held you tighter, burying his face into your chest as he sobbed uncontrollably.

You simply petted his dirty-blond hair, allowing him to cry to his hearts content.

It hurt you to see him cry like this..so fragile and vulnerable...

You could only hope that your words got through to him.

You could only hope that you had helped him in some small way.

You could only hope that he was healing.

A/N,

I would like to start off by saying that suicide is very serious and just thinking about it hurts my heart.

Before anyone blows up my DM's about how I "am using this matter for entertainment purposes" Let me explain something to you:

When I write about issues like this it is not "for entertainment purposes". I write about these issues because, as someone who has gone through depression, I know that when someone is going through depression no amount of words can comfort you...no matter what anyone says, you don't just "feel better"...I want to help as many people as I possibly can with my work. I want to reach out in anyway I can...which, in this case, is my writing. I'm sorry if you're offended, truly I am....but there are some people who are too scared to confess what they're going through...and reading this book may be the only way that they hear words of reassurance. So, yeah...I am trying to help out the people who are too shy to reach out to me personally...

I sincerely hope that this chapter has helped someone...even a little bit.

Never be scared to talk to me if you need help or if you just want to vent.

I'm right here. Always.

I love you.

I adore you.

I purple you.

I'm out.

-Max