I still stood at the staircase and gazed at the door. It was dark and cold in here. I shivered intensly in my light clothings. I didn't know what to do at this Point. My gaze remained heavenly fixed on the door,and suddenly everything in me just snapped.

I took the few steps back up that I had previously fallen down. Abruptly, I stopped and looked at the door. I gathered all my strength and ran as fast as I could towards the door, slamming my whole body against it. I was angry, I was full of rage, I needed this. Quickly I composed myself again, wiped away the tears that had started to fall, and returned to my previous spot to run at the door again with all my might and slam my body against it. I hated it. But somehow it made me feel at ease. All my anger, sadness. Everything that I kept inside of me, finally could come out. I stared again at the door and began to hit it with my fists multiple times until my whole hand was bruised. When my left hand was completely injured, I took my right hand to continue hitting until it was bruised as well. Both my hands, my face, my whole body has become a bloody mess. But I still hadn't enough. My body shook up and down.

All I could hear was my heartbeat. All I could feel was my heartbeat. It was loud thundering to my heavy breathing's. I still hadn't enough. I looked to the staircase. The staircase was not only really long but it had a wide opening beside it. I thought to myself, 'That's-it. I'm going to do it.' Slowly I walked to the opening of the stairs. I turned around and let my back face the staircase. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I approached the stairs slowly. When I felt it I knew that was my sign." Let it go" I said, before my body fell.

My eyes were still shut, while I continued falling  and falling. I smiled weakly remembering this was my end. Memories flooded inside of me, but slowly vanished from my head. Those bad memories are now dead with me. At least I have someone with me to die. I felt myself slowly becoming at ease and getting really light.' Is this what dead feels like' I asked myself. If yes, I want to experience it over and over again, I said feeling a little bit of joy. My hair covering my face and being taken my the air that is pushing me deeper in the ends of this opening. Finally landing at my death. I was surprised that death could feel this good. My eyes still closed, I felt myself comfortable laying in something really soft. Opening my eyes slowly the, feeling the shed of sunlight to my face, made me open my eyes even wider. I looked around me. Feathers everywhere. "Is this heaven ? I asked myself."

The freedom I so desired was finally granted.