Jolting up, I looked around more closely. I looked down, taking one of the feathers in my hand and slowly embracing it. This warmth, so new. I had never felt this way before; the feathers filled my chest with warmth and hope. The light feeling of the feathers on my skin felt so caring and relieving. Their softness melted my heart into tiny pieces. Each feather, like a whisper of joy, wrapped around me, creating a cocoon of warmth and comfort. In that moment, I felt both the lightness of happiness and the heaviness of past sorrows, intertwining like threads in a tapestry. The delicate balance of joy and pain painted a vivid picture in my mind, reminding me that every experience, even the bittersweet ones, contributes to the beauty of life. I let my body fall into the many feathers that lay on the ground and embraced them. The feathers filled everything. This was all I could ever ask for: this life in heaven. It all felt like a dream. The ray of sunlight shining through added to it. I was alone, but I didn't feel lonely. For the first time in my life, I actually had someone or something. For the first time, I could experience joy; for the first time, I could experience no pain. For the first time, I met my first time.

"Promise me you will take me with you," I smiled happily, forming a snowman in the feathers. Death is heaven. No wonder people plead to come to heaven; it's not only our final destination. It's the only time we release all our pain. My mind clouded itself with joy; I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I didn't notice the sudden change in atmosphere. The sunlight disappeared behind the clouds, creating deep shadows, the once warm colors turned cold.

As I reveled in the warmth of the feathers, a gentle breeze began to stir, whispering through the air like a warning. The sunlight, once a comforting embrace, flickered as if unsure of its place in this dream. I felt the warmth of the feathers begin to fade, like a sunset swallowed by the night. Shadows crept in, stretching across the ground, darkening the vibrant colors around me. The transformation was sudden, a chilling reminder that joy can be fleeting. The feathers that once cradled me now felt like they were slipping away, leaving only the quill behind—a stark reminder of what was lost."

The feathers that once cradled me began to slip away, leaving behind a sense of emptiness. I reached out, desperate to hold onto that fleeting warmth, but it was as if the very essence of joy was dissolving into the shadows. The once vibrant scene around me turned monochrome, the colors draining away like a forgotten memory.

In that moment, I realized how fragile happiness could be, how it could vanish in an instant. The gentle breeze transformed into a chilling wind, wrapping around me like a shroud. I closed my eyes, trying to summon the warmth of the feathers, the joy they brought, but all that remained was the echo of what had been. The promise of heaven felt distant now, overshadowed by the reality of loss.

Yet, even in that darkness, a small spark of hope flickered within me. Perhaps the feathers would return, and with them, the warmth and joy that had filled my heart. For now, I would hold onto that hope, waiting for the light to break through the clouds once more.

I waited. Nothing. There was no light. There was only darkness that filled the depths of this opening.

Do they want to take that from me too? The only warmth I've ever experienced needs to be taken from me again. The only joy I've known must be taken from me. Is this their way of punishing me? No, I screamed in pain. Not again. Just once, please. But no, they already did. They always do. They need to. I can't be happy. I always have to experience loss since I have to be alone. Loss and loneliness are my blessings, bestowed upon me. I've never felt light within me, but seeing everything gone in just seconds definitely changed the fading colors around me and within me. I stood up, staring into the deep shadows formed by the clouds. My happiness faded in an instant. "I should have known that dreams can't turn to reality. At least I got to experience my dream," I thought, trying to stay as positive as I could. But this reality was my destiny; I couldn't escape it. I stood there alone again, my eyes fixed on the ground filled with quills, blankly gazing. I didn't understand anything anymore. Was I dead, or was I not? Was this my punishment, or was it a warning? Oh, how delusional I am. How could I ever forget my reality? I laughed ironically. So not only was I punished for living, but also for existing? I was not allowed to feel anything, but I was allowed to feel like dying? No. Even my wish to die in happiness was taken from me. I was brought to hell again.