2

2013

"Ang busy mo naman."

I ignored Zach's comment. While he was moving around the kitchen to get some snack for the both of us, I was working away, eager to finish my plates earlier than my scheduled planned.

Nagwawalwal man ako, I was disciplined enough. Despite my busy wild nights, I was dedicated and practically married to my studies.

"'Di pa naman deadline n'yan, let's watch a movie first," Zach said as he sat on the couch behind me. Nilapag niya ang sandwiches at glasses of orange juice sa low glass table kung saan ako gumagawa.

'Di ko siya nilingon.

"Ayoko. I wanna finish nang maaga so I have more time for myself this weekend."

"Ang daya din 'no. Our schedules never match. Kapag ako ang 'di busy, ikaw naman ang maraming ginagawa." I could hear the sigh in his tone.

He moved out of the couch so he was sitting on the floor beside me. Pinapanood niya ang bawat ginagawa ko.

I pressed my lips tight in annoyance. "You're distracting me. Maglaro ka na lang muna."

"Okay. I'll play."

I was startled when he reached for me and placed a kiss on my neck.

"Zach," I warned, trying to push him away, but the fucktard was unfazed. His right hand was suddenly traveling up my chest under my shirt, stopping over one of my nipples.

When he sucked the sensitive spot under my ear, I drew a sharp breath.

Fuck that. He knew that was my weakness.

Nawala na ang gana kong itulak siya. He knew me well enough to use my urges against me.

His hand went under my bra and teased my erected peak just before his mouth took over my own. I sighed against his lips.

When his fingers left my boob so he could take the pencil out of my hand, I groaned in protest, suddenly needy for more contact.

Fine, you asshole. You have my attention now.

As our lips met in a fervent kiss, I groaned and roughly pushed him against the couch, totally abandoning my plates. I shifted my body so that I was straddling him now, pulling at his hair and taking dominance of the kiss.

Then he broke contact and removed my top. His mouth trailed down my chest and took in one of my peaks, making me mewl.

He was working on removing my shorts when I stopped his hands. "Bed."

"Ayaw mo sa couch?"

"Bed."

He laughed and hoisted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as we made our way to the bed, our lips melding and clashing.

Dahan-dahan niya 'kong hiniga sa kama. I was growing impatient. Hinatak ko siya palapit so I could pull his shirt off.

His full torso greeted my eyes and I stared at it appreciatively. This was what I liked about Zach the most. He was ripped. Just the sight of his body made me ache down there.

I trailed my fingers along his bare arms, loving the feel of his muscles under my fingertips. What I liked even more about him, he was starting to fill his skin with tattoos.

I kinda liked men with full sleeves. I liked knowing what the symbols meant to them as they usually engaged my mind.

He discarded the remainder of my clothes. Then he was on top of me, raining wet kisses along my neck and exposed shoulder. His right hand was trailing across my stomach, going down and down, until it reached that sweet sensitive spot.

With his fingers, he flicked my bud up and down first before he began rubbing that spot in circular motions, setting my body on fire.

I released a long breath as sensations started to roll in. I loved how Zach knew how to work my body up. He knew the right way to please me. Months with him gave him the know-how on how to bring me to that absolute bliss.

"What's your plan tomorrow?" he asked as his fingers sped up its motions around my clit. His arm was on the side of my head, supporting his weight.

This . . . this was the only thing I hated about him. Sometimes he loved to talk dirty. Sometimes he'd tend to start a random conversation, pucha.

I didn't like it when my men talk during sex. Their voices distract the fuck out of me. Nakakasira ng focus, fuck.

"I'm meeting Cari," I responded, trying to focus and grasp that electric feeling he was sparking in me.

"Your friend from Consuello?" His mouth moved to press butterfly kisses along my jaw before consuming my mouth in a fiery kiss again.

I was breathless when we pulled apart. "Yeah. My new best friend."

I let out a gasp when he stopped the sinful sensations around my clit to insert a finger into my core. In and out, in a slow, teasing motion.

I was losing my mind, growing impatient. The need to get there was driving me to the edge.

"Saan kayo?"

"Rob, probably."

Tangina, Zach. Stop teasing me.

I didn't wanna be under his mercy anymore. I took charge to let him know what I wanted. I moved my body up to meet his bulge, grinding against him there, eliciting a frustrated groan from his lips.

I wasn't content. I put my hand inside his waistband, stroking his long shaft in a teasing fashion, similar to how he fucking teased me earlier.

He kept on groaning, making me smirk. I stopped before he could get anything.

Napamura siya.

O, ano, gago. Now we're even.

I got the desired effect as he became serious. With urgency, he removed his boxers and then he was inside me, stretching me wide to accommodate his length, his speed drawing more moans from my lips.

I bit my lip, running my nails across his naked back.

"Hatid ko kaya kayo?" he asked as he buried his face in the crook of my neck and decided on a steady pace.

"It's fine. My driver will bring me there."

"Sige, sunduin na lang kita?"

"I don't know what time kami matatapos," I said, knowing he'd understand the brush off and take the hint.

Fortunately, he dropped the conversation altogether. Good.

Zach quickened his pace inside me, his thrusts getting rougher with each push of his hips.

I arched my back to give him more access. Shit. Napasinghap ako when he hit that spot inside me.

He ran his tongue on that particular flesh on my neck and sucked on it hard.

I gritted my teeth. This guy's giving me a hickey again. I told him not to! Pero 'di na 'ko makapagreklamo. My mind was too focused on how hard he was fucking me.

"Are you drinking after?"

I couldn't answer him. The pleasure was building in my belly. It was getting harder to think

"AJ."

"What?" wala sa sarili kong sagot.

"Tinatanong kita kung iinom kayo bukas."

"'Di ko alam, Zach. Will you quit talking?" I said in frustration, biting down the moan escaping my lips.

He straightened up and lifted my legs for further access. Then he grabbed my hips and went deeper and deeper, settling on a rhythm that made my legs shake and sent waves of pleasure radiating all over my body.

Before I knew it, the pressure let up and exploded, and I was left panting and convulsing in ecstacy as I came apart underneath him.

Several more thrusts later and Zach was done too, fully sated and breathing hard above me.

He planted a few kisses on my lips before he rolled off of me.

I was just as spent, sweat matting my forehead. We stayed like that for a handful of time, and only our breaths filled the silence of my room.

After I came down from that sweet high, I sat up and kissed his cheek. "That was great, honey."

He hummed in response. Sweat covered his body and he looked like he was fighting to be awake.

I climbed out of the bed and picked up my clothes.

"Where are you going?" he lazily asked.

"Shower. You can sleep there, Dad won't be coming home tonight."

He looked disappointed when I left him. I noticed that too. After dating for some time, he was beginning to ask for more from me. He never put it into words but I knew. He wanted more than I could give.

But he also knew better than to ask me. From the start, it was clear.

I had boundaries. I had no plans to fall in love with anyone.

Aalagaan ko siya during the entire course of our relationship. But that was that.

There would be no love and there was no next level in this relationship.

From the start, he knew what he was signing up for.

***

I found Cari at our usual hangout spot the next day. She was talking on the phone but she ended the call right away when I walked up to her.

This girl was blooming, nagkarelasyon lang. She was wearing a crop top and mom jeans, a contrast to the short dress and ankle boots I was rocking.

I lifted a brow at her. "Si Andrei?" tanong ko, obviously referring to the call.

She stood up and hefted her bag in her shoulder. "Yes. That was him."

Ngumisi ako. "Now that you're officially dating, mas nakakapag-usap na kayo, huh."

Natawa siya doon. Cari wasn't the expressive type. And last I heard, so was her boyfriend. Minsan nagtataka ako paano sila nagkasundo.

"He's asking if he can pick me up later."

"And?"

"I said no. It's our time today."

She hooked her arm around mine.

"Good. I told Zach no too."

Cari was a new friend I met at a bar when Jill invited her and her friends to join us. She was a cool, fun girl and we hit it off right away.

Back when I was having doubts of myself because, Richard, this guy I was unofficially seeing, kept on making me feel like shit, she was the one who helped me regain my confidence.

She became my new best friend instantly.

That stint with Richard didn't last long though, fortunately, because Zach wanted to us to be exclusive. Ayaw na ng casual hook-ups lang.

So I ended my communication with Richard and chose to be with someone who treated me right instead.

"I gotta give your boy some credit. He's not a pussy. He doesn't care much for bro code," I told Cari as walked out of the coffee shop.

Recently, she began dating some guy from Intersci, an international university in Q.C. na katabi lang ng Ignatio.

I knew Andrei De Villa and his cousins because their names made quite a buzz on social media when their youngest earned the attention of everyone after he led his team to victory. Sila ang nanalo sa UAAP last season.

They were calling him the super rookie of the Blue Eagles now or something. 'Di ako nanonood ng UAAP so what I knew, naikwento lang din sa 'kin.

"Geon doesn't mind anyway. I got a feeling he supports it," Cari answered. By Geon, ang tinutukoy niya yung best friend niya from childhood. That foreigner boy I met only once, mabilisan lang din, when I visited España to eat lunch with her.

"Your bestfriend doesn't care for anything. Happy go lucky lang."

She laughed a little. "He's supportive. Wala rin naman siyang magagawa. Andrei didn't look like he'd be deterred."

Nang makapasok kami sa isang store, I took a good look of her face.

"So what's wrong? Why do you look bothered?"

She touched her cheek with her right hand. "Do I look bothered?"

"Uhuh, bitch. You're dating a famous hot boy. But you don't look that thrilled."

"I guess I'm just worried lang na our friendship will break once we break up. We three have a good relationship."

I stopped myself from laughing. Look at this girl. 'Di pa nga sila nagtatagal, break-up na kagad ang iniisip.

I shrugged, my eyes zeroing in on a fancy black dress hanging in the racks. "'Di yan. Exes can be friends. Minsan nga mas better pa. Look at me and Jani. He was my ex in high school, ngayon best friend ko na pati yung ex-fubu slash girlfriend niya."

Cari checked out a different dress. "You're different. Even your friends are different. Para kayong nag-e-exist sa ibang mundo."

"Babe, we're not that much different. Nasa isip mo lang 'yan. Tsaka don't worry too much. Nand'yan na 'yan, e. You already said yes. Kung 'di ka comfortable, tapusin mo na ngayon pa lang. Mahal mo ba?"

That got her thinking. After a second, she shook her head.

"Mahal ka ba?"

She shook her head again. Last time, she told me Andrei seemed to only like her because she was fun. She said she liked him for the same thing. Whatever their reasons, it got both of them to commit to a relationship.

"Wala naman palang feelings na involved. Mas safe. You're just officially fucking and being exclusive. Basta walang selosan, you'll be fine. Parang exclusive friends with benefits, pero may labels."

Cari threw me a strange look. "We're not fucking."

"Wala pa? Bagal naman n'yan."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Your mouth."

"Is always dirty. Get used to it, bitch," I said with a grin.

We didn't see anything good inside this store so we ended up walking around the mall na lang until we spotted clothes that fit our tastes.

"So what's new with you?" she asked me after we walked out of the seventh store we visited today.

"Aside from I discovered one of daddy's secrets? Nothing much."

"Bagong babae naman?"

"Oh, this one's worse." I released a harsh, derisive laugh. "He knocked someone up. He has a kid, apparently. A little girl. I think she's three years old now. She looks like me."

"Oh? How did you know?"

"I stalked his secret account. Naiwan niya laptop niya. He thinks he's so smart but it's easy to guess his password. Can you believe it? After fucking with my mom's head, he still uses her birthday as his passwords. Guys are really the biggest filth in the world."

"'Di naman lahat."

I stopped to glance at her.

"Yeah, I keep forgetting. You came from a good family. Sad to say not everyone has that blessing."

Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. "So what are you planning to do?"

"Wala. Kung itatago niya, bahala siya. Kung ipapakilala niya, I'll take her in. 'Di ko idadamay yung bata sa kakupalan niya."

"Paano kung iuwi pati yung mommy?"

"Sa bahay ng mom ko? Blood will spill, I swear to god. They'll see hell the moment he pulls that stunt."

Cari sighed. "Minsan pinag-aalala mo 'ko. This fight with your dad, it's only going to get worse."

I shrugged.

"He's not trying and I'm done wishing. The only thing that can happen now is for us to separate. Maybe after college. Once I have enough to support myself, magugulat na lang 'to. I'll be on the first plane out of the Philippines."

That was my promise to myself after all. Hanggang graduation ko lang hihintayin si Mommy. Kung 'di na talaga niya 'ko babalikan, then fine. I'd get a job in a far away place and finally pursue Interior Designing. Iiwan ko silang lahat dito.

"You think he can't trace you?"

"I know he can. But with Lolo's help, everything should be okay. I can just leave the country. If he drags me back here, I'll sue him. Magkasiraan na kami."

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad nang madaanan namin ang drug store. An idea lit up in my head.

"Wait for me here," I told Cari and went inside right away, leaving her outside.

I bought what I needed. Tumatawa ako nang bumalik sa kanya at inabot yung plastic.

"What's this?" nagtataka niyang tanong.

"Open it." I was grinning wickedly.

When she checked what was inside, a frown flickered onto her face.

"Condoms? Why the fuck are you giving me condoms?"

"You're not on the pill, 'di ba? Maging sigurista ka. No ID, no entry," mas natatawang sagot ko.

She furrowed her brows at me. "Wala ngang gano'n."

We fell into steps once more. I snickered when she put the plastic inside her bag. This bitch.

"For now. But you never know. That's a De Villa in your hands. I've heard stories about his cousins from some of my friends that knew them. They're wild, babe. I don't think your guy should be any different. Okay lang naman. It's a whole different world and you'll enjoy it, I swear."

She sighed, looking weary of me. "You're thinking way too far. Bago pa lang kami."

"Dapat nang sigurado. Don't let guys surprise you. Dapat lagi kang ahead para 'di ka masasaktan kahit kailan."

"Tama ka naman. I just wanna enjoy this. We're still exploring and enjoying this new thing between us. Sex might complicate things."

"Enjoy mo lang. Basta walang halong selosan at attachment, you'll be safe," I told her.

Those were the words I lived by. Feelings will only ruin you. They are a woman's downfall.

I added, "Anyway, if you don't want it, that's okay, don't use it. But if you need it, just know that you have it. Basta be safe."

Tumango lang si Cari.

I didn't think I needed to tell her anyway. She was as careful as I was, but for different reasons.

Ayaw niyang mag-settle down sa ngayon, but it was something she could see in her future.

Unlike me, who never wanted to be tied down by anyone at all.