Shucks.

I forgot to get his number.

How would I know kung saan kami magkikita when he gave three different venues? I could text Christelle naman pero magtataka 'yon.

Bahala na nga. Outing namin ngayon. Sa susunod ko na pag-iisipan 'to. No campuz biz in the mean time.

We were now on our way to Batangas. Tatlong sasakyan ang dala namin ngayon. Two SUVs at isang kotse. Yung Kia Sportage ang dala-dala namin. Ito kasi ang hilig gamitin ni Dad. Kasama ko sina Kuya Chris at Kuya Travis sa likod. Mom was up front. Si Kuya Andrei naman, hahabol na lang daw sa amin dahil may biglaang urgent business siya.

I shifted and glanced at the two vehicles right behind us. Napangiti ako nang makita ko ang red sports car na nakasunod sa amin at sa likod no'n naman yung Porsche Cayenne Turbo ni Kuya Nick. Kasama niya ro'n sina Kuya Paul, Mathev at Gian.

Si Kuya Onyx, kasama ni Kuya Jacob sa Ferrari niya.

Tsk. Ako na lang talaga ang walang sariling wheels sa amin. Ayaw pa akong payagan ni Kuya Travis. Daya.

"Buti pinayagan si Kuya J magdala ng sarili niya?" tanong ko kay Kuya Chris.

Ang gusto kasi ni Mom kapag road trip namin, iisang sasakyan lang lagi at kung mayroon man pwedeng humiwalay, si Kuya Travis lang 'yon.

Kuya Chris looked amused. "He begged all day. You should've seen him."

"Napapayag niya si Mom?"

He chuckled. "Hindi. Pero si Dad, oo."

"Ah, kaya pala," I said, nodding. "Lucky beast."

For sure, dinala niya 'yan para magpapogi. Boys will always be boys.

I busied myself by taking shots of my fam. Kuya Travis was sleeping soundly against the window. Ang cute niya tingnan. Si Kuya Chris, naglalaro ng PSP. Si Mom naman, pinapakain si Dad ng fries na binili namin kanina nang may nadaanan kaming Jollibee drive-thru. Sweet.

I turned to the back and took a snapshot of the boys' wheels din. When I felt content with them, sinimulan ko nang i-post sa social media. I made sure to include Kuya Travis's sleeping face.

"Kuya's gonna kill you when he sees that," Kuya Chris said, mirth in his tone.

Tumawa ako. "Fan service kamo."

To further tease him, I even tagged his account.

At some point sa byahe namin, naabutan kami ni Kuya Andrei.

It was already around eight nang makarating kami ng Batangas. The resort wasn't as big as the other expensive resorts we went to pero maganda dito at may dalawang infinity pool.

I watched my cousins climb out of the cars one by one, stretching out their limbs while grinning like mad devils. Meanwhile, Kuya Jacob looked like the devil himself nang lumabas siya from his Ferrari, wearing a casual dark tee and pants.

Dad opened the trunk to get the bags. I grabbed my bag pack. Kukunin na sana 'yon ni Kuya Travis from me pero hindi ko na binigay. Magaan lang naman since hindi ako masyadong nagdala ng gamit.

Inside the resort, I chose the room closest to the swimming pool. Ka-share ko si Kuya Andrei. Habang nag-aayos sina Dad sa labas, nagpalit na ako ng damit. Suot ko na ang bikini ko kaya pinalitan ko na lang yung tee ko ng tank top and shorts.

Paglabas ko, naka-set up na yung ihawan at naka-position na do'n si Dad. Katabi niya si Kuya Travis. I noticed there was a bottle of whiskey sa table nila. Si Mom, naghahanda ng utensils.

I could hear my cousins' crazy laughter above the blaring music coming from the outside. Naka-board shorts na lang sila. They were topless, too, kaya kitang-kita na ang mga pinagmamalaki nilang abs. Nasa gilid ng pool yung mga shot glasses nila. As usual, they were drinking imported hard liquors.

Mathev was the first to jump into the pool. Sumunod si Gian, hatak-hatak si Kuya Jacob. Natawa ako nang umalingawngaw ang malakas at nagmumurang boses ni Kuya Jacob. Nakitalon na rin sina Kuya Onyx at Kuya Paul na sinusubukang lunurin si Kuya Jacob. Parang mga bata!

"O dahan-dahan. Baka malunod si Jacob, a. Iiyak 'yan," asar ni Mathev.

"Gago. Iyak daw," sagot ni Kuya Jacob.

I perched myself on the other end of the pool, sa may malalim na part, just watching them. Kumukuha rin ako ng snapshots of them and the place. Nandito si Kuya Andrei malapit sa 'kin, may kausap sa phone. I didn't want to pry kaya lumayo ako nang bahagya.

Ilang segundo pa, lumabas na si Kuya Chris na may dala-dalang acoustic guitar. Tumabi siya sa 'kin. Sumunod sa kanya si Kuya Nick.

Nagkantahan kami. Kung ano-ano lang na maisipan. Nung pinakakanta nila ako, I requested an Up Dharma Down song. Hindi ko namalayan tumahimik na pala ang mga boys at lumapit sa amin para makinig.

"Nice, Jav. Magaling ka palang kumanta," praised Mathev habang nakahilig sa gilid ng pool. "Bakit 'di ka sumasali sa contests sa school?"

"'Di ko naman. And 'di ko kayang pagsabayin lahat, 'no," sagot ko. Pinaltik ko ng tubig si Gian. "Gi, kanta ka naman."

I dried my hands with the towel and grabbed the guitar from Kuya Chris. Ditosigurado mapapakanta sila. All time favorite namin ito e. I strummed some chords. Sinimulan kong kantahin yung Thunder na agad naman sinabayan nina Gian at Kuya Onyx. Before long, sumasabay na ang lahat. Kahit si Kuya Andrei. Wala na siyang kausap sa phone.

This was our go-to jam.

I bit my lip, playing the guitar and nodding my head to the tune. Nag-eenjoy ako. Sila rin. Dito na nga sila umiinom sa tabi ko. Pinag-aagawan nila yung gitara. Nang si Mathev ang nakakuha, puro Callalily ang tinugtog.

I took a vid when he sang Magbalik.

I couldn't help but admire the emotion beneath my cousin's smooth vocals. There was something in the way he strummed the guitar, as if he was lost in his own world. This image of him always struck me kasi bihira lang magseryoso si Mathev and on the rare occasions that he did, related to his music pa.

"Cheers, my boys," sabi ko after kumanta ni Mathev, raising my own shot glass.

Ngumisi sila.

"To the De Villas," said Kuya Nick. "Bottoms up."

We toasted and downed the shot.

Time passed with us just bonding like that. Jamming lang. I liked this. Gusto ko yung feeling na sa simpleng bagay, nakaka-connect ako sa kanila. Na hindi sila yung famous De Villa na kilala kung saan-saan. They were just simply my bros. In my reach. I really liked this.

Maya-maya pa, tinawag na kami para kumain. Hindi pa man tapos ang lahat, nagpaalam na sina Kuya Onyx at Kuya Jacob. Pupunta na raw sila sa may dagat at nagtatawanan sila nang umalis.

Sumunod na rin sa kanila yung iba pagkatapos kumain. Natira kami nina Kuya Andrei at Kuya Travis na tumulong pa muna magligpit.

Before going to the shore, Dad secured the rooms kung naka-lock. We waited for him outside.

"How was your Youth Camp meeting pala?" marahang tanong sa 'kin ni Kuya Andrei. Kuya Travis looked at me as well.

Hoshet.

"Hm? Ayos lang. Nakaka-stress din," I said, licking my lips. I wasn't a good liar so it was good that my voice didn't shake.

I felt bad for not mentioning the deal with Racel lalo na't sinabihan pa nila akong 'wag ma-involve doon. Was it considered lying ba if I kept it a secret from them? Hala. Nakaka-guilty. But I couldn't just go and tell him. Mag-aalala lang sila.

At dahil hindi ako palagay sa ginawa kong paglilihim, I changed the topic. "Kuya, may kaibigan ka palang Laconista?"

Halatang nagulat si Kuya sa tanong ko. He didn't expect it. He tried reading my face, parang may hinahanap. Was it something I shouldn't know about?

"Why do you ask?" I didn't hear it but I knew he was being cautious.

"Wala, curious. You never mentioned anything about it." Nagkibit-balikat ako.

Tumango siya. "Yeah, I may have a few friends there."

Naputol ang usapan namin nang dumating na sina Mom and Dad. Sabay kaming nagpunta sa shore. Pinaalalahanan kami ni Dad na wag lumangoy sa may malayo bago kami tuluyang humiwalay sa kanila.

The other boys were in the raft, drinking up.

I smiled widely and extended my arms, revelling in the cold salty breeze.

There was a rave music booming from somewhere. May mga nag-iinuman sa mga kainan. There were also some foreigner girls sa paligid, wearing bikinis. Hindi na ako nagulat nang makita kong kausap nila yung J & O tandem. As expected.

"Kuya, libot lang ako," I told Kuya Travis and Kuya Andrei.

"Dala mo ba ang phone mo?" tanong ni Kuya Trav.

Tumango ako.

"Don't get too far. Alisto ka sa text."

"Noted."

I wandered around, checking the items in the stalls. Nagtingin-tingin ako ng pwedeng pasalubong kina Anjo. As I did that, napansin kong lumilingon-lingon sa 'kin si Kuya Jacob kahit na may kausap siyang mga babae.

Huminto ako when I reached the henna stall. Parang gusto kong magpalagay. Tatlong lalaki yung nandoon na agad kumausap sa 'kin.

I was browsing the catalogues when I felt the presence of my cousin, Mathev, right behind me. Himala, hindi siya nagsasalita. Nakikitingin lang siya sa mga tinitingnan kong designs. Tapos pinasadahan niya ng tingin yung place, and then the three dudes staring at us.

"What do you think?" Hinampas ko si Mathe to get his attention, pointing at the foreign script design. "Should I have my name inked like this?"

Seryoso ang mukha niya. "Where?"

"On my back," I said casually. "Or mas maganda ba kung dito?" I gestured at my collar bones. "San ba mas maganda?"

Tinitigan niya lang ako.

Didn't matter. Nagbago na rin ang isip ko. Naghanap ulit ako ng bagong design. Tatlo yung pinagpilian ko bago ako nakapag-decide talaga.

I chose the swirly flame design.

"I want this done on my back, please," I told the three dudes, sitting down.

Yung oldest of the three yung umasikaso sa 'kin. Tinuro ko sa kanya yung design. Ngumiti lang siya at pumwesto na sa tabi ko.

He was going to start na sana when Mathev stepped into the space between us.

"Wait," Mathev suddenly said. Hinawakan niya yung kamay no'ng guy. "Wala bang babae sa inyo?"

"Wala na po, sir," sagot naman ng lalaki. "Umuwi na."

Mathev narrowed his eyes intensely. "Then you better back off, bro. Lay a hand on her and I'll break your nose."

Namutla yung lalaki. I stiffened. What the fuck, Mathev?

"Mathe!" pagsaway ko.

"Tayo," utos niya. "Tara na."

"Ano?" gulat kong sagot. "Mathe naman, henna lang naman 'to."

"If you want, d'yan ka na lang sa kamay mo magpalagay." Napatigil siya, sabay tingin nang mapanuri do'n sa lalaki. He frowned and swept his gaze back to me. "No, never mind. Bukas na lang. Kung hindi lang din naman babae, wag na lang." Hinatak niya ako patayo.

Pumiglas ako. "It's just a darn henna. Dali na," pagpilit ko. "Ang OA nito."

He took a deep breath, looked up in obvious frustration, and brushed his hair with a hand. Tumingin siya ulit sa 'kin. "Sige, you choose. You get to have your bloody tattoo but I swear I'm breaking his bones after. Ikaw, your call." He said this habang nakangiti pero walang humor sa boses niya.

Napikon ako. Sa inis ko, tinulak ko siya nang palabas ako.

They had always been like this. Always. Laging overprotective, laging possessive. Sometimes it was cute. Right now, it wasn't.

"You're fucking annoying, you know that?" I told him before walking away.

Sinundan niya ako. No'ng una, hindi siya nagsasalita pero nang makalayo kami sa stall, narinig ko na rin ang pagtawag at pagtawa niya. "Don't be mad, Javee. I only did that for you."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Have you seen how that asshole looked at you?"

"You're the only asshole here!"

"Javee, uy!"

Nakasalubong namin ang nakangising si Kuya Onyx. Hinatak niya ako pabalik nang nilagpasan ko siya.

"Whoa. What's going on here?" he asked us. "Bakit magkasalubong ang kilay mo, miss?" pabirong dagdag niya pa.

"Isa ka pa."

Tumawa siya. "What did I do?"

"She wants to get inked," explained Mathev, jerking his thumb in my direction.

"O tapos?"

"By a dude, bro. By a dude."

Realization flashed immediately on Kuya Onyx's face. Ngumisi siya sa 'kin at kinurot ang dalawang pisngi ko. "Ako na lang ang mag-tatts sa 'yo."

I frowned, slapping his hand away.

Humalakhak siya. "Wag ka na magalit. Nakakapangit 'yon. Libre na lang kita. What do you want?"

"Ano ako, bata?" irap ko pero somewhere between the convo, nawala na yung inis ko dahil sa mga pagtawa nila.

"Wow," sagot ni Mathev. "You're rejecting food? Si Amasona ka ba talaga?"

"Ano 'yon?" pag-irap ko.

"Wala po, boss." He raised his hands in surrender, letting out an innocent, cute smile.

In that moment, may mga naglapitang babae sa amin. Yung foreigner girls from earlier kaya dahan-dahan akong humiwalay sa dalawa bago pa ako mapalibutan. They didn't look like they were flirting. I think one of them recognized Kuya Onyx from somewhere.

Nakita kong malapit sa dagat si Kuya Travis kaya tumabi na lang ako sa kanya.

Kahit na gabi na, maliwanag pa rin ang dagat dahil sa mga balsa. Ang peaceful ng pakiramdam dito kahit puro pang-rave ang music. It was soothing. I enjoyed the feeling of the sand under my feet, especially the familiar feeling of the wind on my skin.

Gano'n lang ang ginawa namin. Pinanood lang namin yung mga pamilya sa harap. It felt good, being this close with a family. Tapos what's more epic? Yung naririnig at nakikita ko ang mga tawanan ng boys.

A slow smile tugged at my lips.

Kahit na nakakainis minsan ang pagiging protective nila, I still somehow found it very sweet.

On that note, bigla na naman akong na-guilty dahil hindi ko binabanggit yung set up with Racel. Would it raise hell pag nalaman nila? Magagalit ba sila sa 'kin because I hid it? Pipigilan ba nila yung pair-up kung sasabihin ko? Paano kung malaman nila sa ibang tao?

Hoshet.

Kinabahan tuloy ako.

No, Javee. Relax. No campus biz, remember?

Shaking my head, I pushed those anxious thoughts away. I'd cross the bridge when I get there.

I leaned my head against the shoulder of my brother, letting his calmness seep into me. Kuya Travis felt comfortably warm against my arm. "Ang sarap ng ganito, 'no, Kuya?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

I let silence reign in on us.

"I have a question. Are you dating anyone right now?"

"Wala naman. Why?"

"Just curious."

Napalingon ako sa kanya. His face was calm but it was unreadable. He turned down to look at me. Ngumiti siya in that rare sweet smile of his.

"Okay lang ba with you kung magkaro'n? What if I fall in love?" I asked uncertainly.

"It's fine with me as long as you'll be happy."

"But what if I get hurt? 'Di naman maiiwasan 'yon."

Hindi sumagot si Kuya at mukhang hindi na rin siya sasagot. I closed my eyes, just enjoying the moment.

"I hope not," tahimik niyang sagot. "The others will not like it. I won't like it."

I looked up at him again.

"Sometimes I wish you're not too overprotective of me. I also need to stand on my own din naman."

Kuya softened while looking at me. He ruffled my hair.

"I know. We just can't help it. Lalo na si Jacob."

Ngumuso ako because he was right.

One reason kung bakit 'di rin ako sumusubok, kasi natatakot ako sa magiging reaction nila kapag may nangyaring 'di maganda.

I just knew my brother would raise hell if I so much as get my heart broken again.

"And that's the problem, Kuya... You can't shield me forever."