They always come in threes. Three musketeers. Three wise kings. Three idiots. Mayroon pa ngang 'Third time is a charm' o 'di kaya-'Strike three and you're out'. This time, bad news came to me in threes.

Before that, walang premonition that it would come. Classes were tougher this January kasi. Ang daming experiments na dapat pag-aralan, ang dami rin lectures na dapat basahin. Hindi ko na alam saan kukuha ng oras para sa sarili ko. Nagkaroon lang ako breathe of fresh air nung lumabas kami para sa despedida ni Lhyle. Syempre, umiyak na naman ako. Lalo na si Anjo. But the rest of the girls were cool enough to give 'asshole' gifts to Lhyle.

Nung umalis siya, para akong nawala sa sarili. Na-culture shock ako ng ilang linggo at sobrang desperado kong makausap siya everyday. I missed him so much. Hindi talaga ako sanay na ganyan siya kalayo but then, weeks turned into months, and we eased into it. Nakasanayan ko na rin. Syempre 'di nawala yung pagka-miss ko sa kanya but Lhyle did his best para maging part pa rin kami ng buhay ng isa't isa. Ni wala pa nga siyang two months doon, nangangako na siyang uuwi siya ulit para sa 'min.

Just like that, before I knew it, lumipas na naman ang birthday ko. In between those taxing school load and emotional hiccups, I squeezed some quality time for me and Racel because even that was harder to come by. Busy na rin kasi siya sa load niya. Our schedule only went lax two weeks before summer and then, finally, it was vacation time again. Grabe. Yung totoo. May pakpak talaga ang oras.

As promised, I spent most of my summer days with Racel and his crew. Binawi namin lahat ng oras na tipid at hiram lang ang quality time namin. We went canyoneering in Cebu, had a blast in Laresio, and even went to Amanpulo to celebrate Marco's birthday. Thank goodness I saved up a lot of money since I was burning cash faster than I could breathe this summer season. Well, 'di naman talaga ako gumastos masyado sa accommodation dahil kadalasan, sagot nila 'yon and ayaw din ni Racel na gumastos ako, but I wouldn't just let them spoil me rotten like that. I have my pride as a De Villa din, so I made sure to pitch in my share when they weren't that strongly rebuffing me. It was great na kahit papaano, I was earning some cash for myself din dahil sa freelance content writing at editing na ginagawa ko for some blogs.

Mga bandang May, nearing the end of summer na, we went to Palawan for some beach-bumming. Actually, si Christelle ang nag-aya, nakisali lang ang boys. First time na sumama ng ibang mga members (sina Harvey, Kleo at Brett) ng basketball team ng Centrex U. Nando'n din sina Camille, Bea, Melissa, Sheena, Gwen, Ivan and James. Basically the whole Youth Camp squad. Masaya na sana pero badtrip lang. Nandito si Natalia.

Kasama ko si Gwen sa room at naubos ang unang gabi na puro kwentuhan at kantyawan lang ang ginagawa namin. Nalaman ko na tuloy pa rin pala ang panliligaw ni Ivan kay Camille. Grabe. It's been what, years? Ayaw niyang tigilan si Camille kahit na mukhang wala talagang interest ito sa kanya.

At one point, I said as much to him.

Ivan laughed. "Wala, e. Kapag tinamaan, tinamaan talaga. Siya na yata pinakamatagal na minahal ko, alam mo 'yon? Malas lang kasi walang pag-asa."

Sinuntok ko siya sa braso. "At least naging close kayo."

"Destiny ko na yatang maging Instagram bestfriend habambuhay," sabay lapat ng kamay niya sa dibdib.

Natawa ako. "Baliw."

The next day, we toured Coron: we went around foodtripping, island hopping and taking photos. Napansin kong habang ginagawa namin ang mga 'yon, sulyap nang sulyap sa 'kin ang ka-team ni Racel na si Harvey. See, that boy was as laidback as they come. Hindi ako malapit sa kanya kasi tahimik ito at laging may sariling mundo. Mga katropa lang niya ang kinakausap niya at kahit 'yon, bihira lang. Also, hindi rin siya palasama sa mga lakad kaya nagtataka ako sa inaasta niya na parang may gusto siyang sabihin sa 'kin.

Hindi ko rin naman ma-open kay Racel dahil baka gano'n lang talaga 'yon at assuming ako. Bukod pa do'n, masyadong naka-focus ang energy ko dito kay Natalia. She was sport enough to welcome me as Racel's girlfriend pero dikit pa rin ito nang dikit. Lagi niyang kinakausap, lagi niyang tinatawag. Minsan kahit kasama ako'y biglang lalapit 'yon para ipaalala yung mga dati nilang lakad. Syempre, I felt out of place.

She even had the gall to say, "Uy, sana 'di ka na-o-offend. Ganyan lang talaga kami n'yan. We're tight like glue."

Nawala ako sa mood dahil doon. Napansin na nga nina Gwen, Bea at Camille kaya na-badtrip din sila kasi nakikita din naman nila. I was certain 'friends' don't act out of line lalo na kung nand'yan naman ang girlfriend.

Racel noticed my awful mood right away and apologized, to which I only said na kausapin na lang niya sa susunod. Nung gabi, mukhang nag-away ang dalawa dahil hindi na rin sila nagpapansinan. I could also see Natalia glowering at me when she thought I wasn't looking. Ha. Serves her right.

After dinner, we went out to drink the night away. Doon ko narinig kay James na na-invite din pala si Angelo pero hindi ito sumama. Ang iniisip niya daw baka hindi pa rin kasundo ni Angelo si Racel. Napaisip din tuloy ako. Highly likely na 'yon nga ang dahilan kasi kung wala naman dahilan, hinding hindi niya palalampasin 'to.

Habang nag-iinuman ang lahat, I could hear Marco talking about my boys. Mga pasaring lang. Walang name drop, possibly courtesy na lang din niya sa 'kin, pero hindi naman ako tanga para hindi ma-realize na mga pinsan ko ang tinutukoy niya. I kept quiet. Hindi ko na pinatulan dahil usapang lalaki 'yon. Twice sinuway sila ni Racel. Simpleng suway lang but not really commanding enough to make them shut up. Sa loob ng tatlong oras, nagpapalit palit ang topic nila kaya gumaan ang loob ko nang nawala na doon ang usapan. At least until naisali si Kuya Jacob. Yung last na usapan kasi, about Giselle na. At this point, lasing na ang lahat. I didn't drink much so I was still sober enough to know everything.

Kaya naman rinig na rinig ko yung offhanded remark ni Racel sa sinabi ni Marco.

"Tangina lang din talaga. How could a man be so revolting? Sila ng mga pinsan niya. Lahi ba nila?"

To my surprise, Racel nodded. "They're as insufferable as insufferable could get."

Para akong nahilamusan ng malamig na tubig. Siguro dahil sa alak na nainom ko, parang umapaw ang inis sa dibdib ko. The girls were not listening to them. May sarili kasing usapan ang mga ito and Ivan and James decided to squish themselves in our group earlier kaya talagang Centrex team lang at si Natalia ang nag-u-usap doon. Kanina, katabi ko pa si Racel pero tumabi ito sa gilid ni Marco at nakipagpalit kay Harvey nang tawagin siya kanina.

I clenched my hand around the bottle of beer. Hoshet. I shouldn't lose it here.

Harvey flicked his gaze over to me. Sa buong usapan ng team nila, siya lang ang natatanging 'di nakisali. Isang beses nga niya sinaway ang mga 'yon para ipaalala na nando'n ako. Nag-sorry naman ang boys kanina but alcohol made them easily forget.

I appreciated that gesture.

"So you're the girlfriend, huh," Harvey began in a low lazy voice, startling me. His attention was on the glass he was holding. He shook it, watching the alcohol move around inside. "If I were you, I'll keep my eyes open at all times. Wouldn't want anything happening under your nose to slip past."

I froze, my brows creasing. "Huh? Dude, I think you're drunk."

"Nah. I haven't had much." He lifted the glass and emptied the contents in one gulp. "Just saying. Don't believe everything you see. Maging matalino ka. Sabi nga nila: a woman's instinct is better than a man's reason."

Tumingin ako sa mga kasama namin sa table kung naririnig ba nila kami. None of them were paying attention; they were too busy teasing Camille and Ivan. "What the hell are you talking about?" I whispered back to him.

His sharp eyes zeroed in on me but his words were sharper, cutting me raw. "You think you're the only one? Think again."

I opened my mouth to retort but the words died in my throat. Humahataw ang dibdib ko sa kaba. Why did this sound so familiar? Despite the alcohol in my system, I felt cold all over. Bakit naaalala ko si Angelo?

My head whirred, trying to put the signs and warnings together. Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place and I was so afraid to find out they were true. No, it couldn't be. Imposible. Baka misunderstanding lang.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko kaya kinuyom ko ang mga ito. Shit. Kinukutuban na naman ako.

"Basta. Maraming tao ang mahilig makisawsaw. Fight for what's yours pero pag-isipan mo muna kung worth the trouble ba ang pinaglalaban mo. Your call. Just a piece of advice, since you look like a smart decent girl."

He ended it there. Ang unfair dahil matapos niyang guluhin ang isipan ko, bigla na lang siyang tumayo para magpaalam. Babalik na daw siya sa hotel. Sanay na sa kanya ang teammates niya kaya hinayaan na lang siya.

It didn't take long for us to follow him. Habang pabalik kami sa hotel, tahimik na ako. Racel was obviously drunk dahil tahimik na rin ito. He simply held my hand as he escorted me to my shared room with Gwen. Nauna nang pumasok si Gwen. We lingered around for a minute or two.

"See you tomorrow?" He gave me an unsteady half grin.

Tipsy na rin ako kaya 'di ko napigilan ang sabog ng damdamin ko. When he moved to kiss me, I backed away. "Tapatin mo nga ako. May dapat ba akong malaman?"

Natigilan siya. Frows burrowing, Racel slid his gaze over my face, searching me. "What's the matter?"

I shrugged and withdrew my hand from his. "You tell me. For a long time, people have been telling me you're no good for me. Angelo told me we should break up. Hell, even Harvey's insinuating something here."

Upon hearing that, his shoulders sagged and he sighed. "That. That was nothing. Believe me. Whatever he said, there's nothing to it. Harvey's like that. He loves riling people up for no reason. And baby, he's drunk."

Umiling ako at lumayo sa kanya. "I don't know. I don't know anymore. With what I'm seeing right now, hindi ko na alam. Tapatin mo nga ako. Ganyan din ba sa 'yo si Natalia kapag wala ako? Are you fucking cheating on me?"

Racel was rattled by this- His posture completely changed.

"No, baby. It's not like that. Where did that come from? Hindi mo ba nakita kung paano ko pinagsabihan si Natalia para sa 'yo?"

"Para sa 'kin?" My voice rose. "That was supposedly for us. Not just for me dahil hindi tama na umasta siyang gano'n. At isa pa, malay ko ba kung paano kayo kapag wala ako."

He stepped closer, taking my hands back. "Baby, please. Listen to me. Natalia and I are nothing."

He pleaded long and hard that despite myself, I started to unravel.

"Fine. I'm sorry." I drew a sigh and embraced myself, trembling. "Naguguluhan lang ako sa mga sinasabi ng kaibigan mo."

"It's fine. But what was it you said about that Castillo asking us to break up?"

Shit. Napahinto ako. Sa sobrang irita ko, nasabi ko pala 'yon.

"This is why I told you to avoid him. He wants to drive a wedge between us. And it doesn't help that your brother's using him to take you away from me. I know they want him for you."

"Hindi nila ginagawa 'yon."

"But it's true. I know Jacob. I know the rest of your cousins. They'll use underhanded tactics to take you away from me."

"Let me guess. Because they're as insufferable as insufferable could get?" My temper spiked again.

He flinched. Nakikita ko sa hitsura niya na hindi niya expected na narinig ko 'yon. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

I stopped him short by lifting a hand.

"Is that how you really see my family? They're not like that. Sure they can be jerks but they're not that hopeless yet. Tinanggap nila tayo 'di ba? They're my family, Racel. I'm one of them. I share the same blood. Does that mean you see me that way as well?" I laughed darkly. "You probably do. Ni hindi mo nga sinita si Marco nung sinabi niyang lahi namin 'yon."

"No, hindi sa gano'n. I was just drunk."

"Bullshit. You know what they say. A drunk mind speaks a sober heart. God, Racel. Can't you respect them? They gave way to you. Kahit sa harap ko man lang sana respetuhin mo sila." Nanginginig ako. Nagsimula nang mangilid ang mga luha ko. "I know you have a lot of beef against them. Sila din sa 'yo. But they made an effort to respect you when I'm around. Sana gano'n ka din."

He ran a hand through his hair, panic spreading over his features. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I was really just drunk right. I wasn't thinking."

I shook my head. "Let's talk when we're both sober. Matutulog na 'ko."

He nodded, his face distraught. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He was clearly drunk. But so was I. Hindi ko maiwasan na magalit. They say people tend to spout half truths when intoxicated. So this was how it had always been?

Wala naman talaga akong plano na i-bring up pa 'yon pero hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. I felt like I should address that or I would always hear what he said at the back of my mind. It would always be a shadow in the relationship, a smear, a taint. The fucking elephant in the room.

Umiiyak ako nang pumasok. Buti na lang tulog na si Gwen. Buong gabi kong sinubukan kalimutan ang naging away namin. Lalo na ang mga narinig ko sa kanya at sa barkada niya. I tried to forgive all of them pero shit kasi. Ang sakit.

And there was that shit with Harvey. Hindi ko maalis ang mga sinabi niya sa isip ko. Una, si Angelo. Sumunod si Rohann. Now the third mystery to complete the puzzle came from someone unexpected.

Fuck. Hindi ko na alam ang iisipin ko.