In the earliest hours of the 31st, my dad woke me up with a slight nudge. I gently rubbed the sleep from my eyes, giving a sleepy half grin as soon as I recognized him.

"When did you get home?"

"Just now. Your mom's downstairs. Wanna eat breakfast with us?"

I nodded. "Just a sec, please. Sunod ako."

Dad ruffled my hair and left me to my morning rituals. I'm not usually a morning person but I love getting woken up by dad lalo na kung matagal ko na silang hindi nakikita. Nagmadali akong maghilamos then bumaba na ako para saluhan sila. Kuya Travis wasn't here yet but the rest of my brothers were here. Sinundo pala ni Kuya Andrei sa airport sina Mom. Si Kuya Chris naman, kakauwi lang din. Halos magkasabay lang sila.

"Kumpleto ba tayo this New Year?"

Tumango si Mom. "Uuwi mamayang gabi si Travis." She drank her coffee and looked at all of us. "Are you going to invite your cousins here? Magpapahanda ba ako nang marami?"

"Maybe not. Mathev and Paul are in Japan right now," Kuya Andrei supplied. "Gian and Kuya Nick will probably spend theirs with the and the Chens."

"Talagang pinaninindigan ni Gian yung baby, a? That's nice." Mom smiled softly.

"Of course. De Villa 'yon, e. May isang salita ang lahi namin," Dad said smugly.

Mom rolled her eyes. "Sure you have, hon."

And the morning banter began, making me laugh. Na-miss ko 'to. I love how our mornings were. Our family breakfasts were always the best.

After eating, Mom and Dad disappeared into their room to get some rest. Gano'n din si Kuya Chris habang lumabas naman sina Kuya Andrei at Kuya Jacob para maglaro ng basketball sa court. Hindi na ako makabalik sa pagtulog kaya I grabbed that chance para makapag-practice din ng skateboarding kahit d'yan lang sa tapat namin.

Isang oras lang ako tumagal dahil umaraw na rin. Isa-isa na rin dumarating ang mga early greetings ng mga kaibigan ko. I replied to some of them: mostly kina Nami, Pau, at sa iba pang mga ka-org ko. I didn't try texting Racel yet. Baka kasi tulog pa 'yon.

Napangiti ako at the reminder of him. Sa tuwing naaalala ko ang Christmas namin, hindi ko mapigilan ang pag-atake ng kilig! Kasi holy fudge. Despite dating him for months now, hindi pa rin nawawala ang epekto niya sa 'kin. Ang dangerous din na we shared a room. Sobrang challenge no'n sa discipline ko and at some point, we almost crossed that line, but I was adamant on keeping our pace slow bago ako gumawa ng kahit anong alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi pa ako handang gawin. Racel didn't seem disappointed din, so another points for him. Grabe.

I knew that was foul for some guys but Racel simply nodded before excusing himself so he could get a cold shower. Syempre, I felt awkward after that but he reassured me na he could wait for me.

Sobrang na-appreciate ko yung gesture. After all, men don't like being left hanging.

Sure, they might like the casual teasing. They might even love the chasing game. But once you got into the mood and start going under the sheets, let him know right away if you plan to continue or not instead of suddenly stopping while you're very close to the deed. That's like bailing on him at the last minute. Most of the guys find this annoying and off-putting. Ayaw nila ng pinapaasa. Konti lang ang hindi maiirita sa gano'n. If he understands you, then you got it, girl. He's a keeper.

Ah shiz. He really was one in a million. I hoped I really was worth the wait.

#

Mga bandang alas sais ng gabi, dumating na si Kuya Travis. Nakahanda na ang mga pagkain sa hapag at nagkakantahan na sina Dad at Kuya Chris habang nagsisimula nang uminom ang mga kapatid ko. Naglalaro ng smoke bombs si Kuya Chris at Kuya Jacob nang may bigla akong maalala.

I fished out my phone and typed a greeting for Angelo.

Me: Happy New Year, taz! Have a beautiful one.

Tinago ko na ulit ang phone ko at tumulong kina manang sa paghahanda. Nilabas ko na rin yung cake, muffins at cookies na na-bake ko for today.

"Aba. Inspired yata ang bunso ko. You rarely bake for us," puna ni Dad.

Napangiti ako at patuloy lang sa paglalatag ng mga hinanda ko. "I love to bake. You just don't see it often 'coz you're not here," sabay nguso sa kanya na para bang nagtatampo ako.

Dad chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "And I'll forever regret that." In a second, napawi ang ngiti niya. "Nabalitaan ko pala kay kumpare. Lilipat na sila sa Singapore. Kasama si Lhyle."

I nodded my head, sighing. "I heard from Lhyle."

"You gonna be okay?"

Natahimik ako ng saglit. Then I forced my lips to curl up. "Think so? Si Lhyle naman 'yon. He'll miss me first kaya gagawa ng paraan 'yon para magkausap kami kahit papaano."

"Have no doubt about that but you know," he said, adding, "he's bound to meet someone soon. When that time comes, anak, support your bestfriend." He ruffled my hair.

I grinned at him. "Look at that. My daddy's giving me boy advices."

He feigned a slap on his forehead. "Oh, no. I must be getting old."

Tumawa kaming dalawa. Later on, nakikigulo na rin ako sa mga kapatid ko. Kinukulit namin si Kuya Andrei na kumanta. He may be a Sinker and he may look like he's got everything pero ito ang isa sa mga bagay na kahit kailan hindi gagawin ni Kuya-ang pagkanta. He was flipping us the bird as we forced the mic into him. Sakto, at that moment, I received a video message from Angelo.

It was him, greeting me with his family. He was holding up a wine with one hand, and a pizza with the other.

He said: you're more maganda than this new year, Jamie V.

Natawa ako sa video na 'yon. More so when he sent me another. A shot of him pestering his youngest brother to make a funny face on video.

Hay, Angelo. This dork was everything to me. Buti naman mukhang back to normal na kami.

At around 9 p.m, Racel texted me his greeting. We exchanged messages for an hour or so. Nung hindi na siya nag-reply sa last text ko, bumalik ako sa loob ng bahay at tinawagan siya.

After four to five rings, he finally picked up.

"Hey, baby," he said, his voice low and disrupted by the loud music booming on his end.

"How's Camiguin?"

"The best. Next time, I'm bringing you with me."

"Promise. Next year magpapaalam ako. Papayagan naman siguro ako."

"That'll be great."

Suddenly, a feminine voice cut through the music. Someone was calling him already.

"Listen, love. I'm in a bar with the team. Hang on, love. My cousin is calling me. Talk to you later?"

Before I could respond, he hung up right away. Nagulat ako doon. Sakto naman na tinawag na rin ako ni Kuya Travis kaya hindi ko na rin masyadong pinansin. Naabala ako masyado ng pakikipagkulitan kay Dad, lalo pa nang nabanggit ni Dad na napalapit na raw si Kuya Travis kay Francheska. Hindi naman kami kinikibo about doon ng kapatid ko. In fact, ang suplado nga. He wasn't confirming nor denying anything kaya lalo ko tuloy gustong mag-stalk. I'd seen Francheska before, kind of. Nung una ko siyang marinig, sinearch ko na ang Facebook niya. There wasn't much on it. I didn't even think she used it much. But I saw her Instagram and website there. Imagine my surprise when I realized na painter pala siya. Even better, siya pala si Fran Celle.

Gusto ko nga siyang makilala but I doubt my brother would introduce me to her. He's sweet and all but he could be more masungit than Kuya Andrei when he wanted.

2 hours passed by swiftly. Soon, I was greeting my family with kisses on the cheeks. Hinalikan ko sa pisngi sina Mom, Dad and Kuya Chris. Kuya Travis and Kuya Andrei kissed me by the head. Then, lumapit ako kay Kuya Jacob na mukhang hinihintay din akong lumapit. He was by the pool dahil lumayo ito para may tawagan.

I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Masaya ako na pumasok ang bagong taon na maayos na kami. Hindi ko yata alam ang gagawin ko kung sasalubungin namin 'to ng may hinanakit kami sa isa't isa.

I heard him chuckle before I felt his strong arms around my body.

"No kiss on my cheek?"

Ngumiti ako. "Happy new year, Kuya! We survived this year." Then I placed a featherlight kiss on his cheek.

Ngumisi siya akin. "New year na, wala pa rin ang plot twist ng buhay ko."

"You need to change na rin kasi. Get serious for once.

"You're right," he said, which surprised me. "I just might."

Napatawa kami ro'n at bahagyang napatahimik. None of us made a move. Obvious na may gusto kaming sabihin sa isa't isa pero 'di namin masimulan. Feeling awkward, I turned my head over my shoulder. Sa kabilang side, tuloy pa rin ang pagkanta ni Kuya Chris. Nagkukwentuhan naman sina Kuya Travis at Kuya Andrei habang nagtatawanan sina Mom and Dad. None of them were even paying attention to us.

I brought my gaze back to my brother. The gap between his brows creased as a pondering look registered on his face.

Without thinking, I blurted out, "Kuya, do you think we can go back to the way things were?"

He blinked, surprised. Naputol ko yata ang iniisip niya. He tilted his head, looking skeptical. "Do you want to? Are you sure you want to? Hindi ba ikaw yung nagsabi na ayaw mong ganito ako?"

"That's not what I meant then."

"What did you mean then?"

I threaded my fingers together and looked at my toes. "I just wanted you to acknowledge that I can also make decisions for myself. But it didn't mean I want us to change. It's still us against the world." I looked up to meet his scrutinizing gaze. "You're still my partner in crime. The Clyde to my Bonnie. Can we go back to that?"

He was deep in thought at first until a sigh tore out of his lips and he flicked my forehead. "Later, sis. Maybe later. I just need to sort out what to change and where I need to draw the line. But as soon as I figure it out, then sure. We may bicker a lot but you're still my sister. It's a fact. There's no changing that. No amount of bad history can erase that. I still adore you no matter what."

Hope rose inside me. "You swear it?"

He grinned and nodded in confirmation.

"Then I'll wait for that. Don't take too long."

"Oo na," he said, pinching my nose with this fingers.

Napatawa ako sa ginawa niya. I was cool with his decision. As they always say nga, it's better to be late than never. Kuya Jacob flashed a light wink and went over to the other side where the party was in full swing.

Basta ako. Masaya ako. Kuntento na ako sa narinig kong sagot. May mga nawala man sa 'kin last year at meron mang mga mawawala this year, sigurado ako na basta kasama ko family ko magiging maayos ako. I looked forward to my new year.

***
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