"Seryoso kayo?" tanong ko sa kanila.

Nasa Mall of Asia kami ngayon, papunta ng parking lot. Medyo tipsy na ang boys dahil dalawang oras na rin kaming umiinom sa seaside. From dinner sa Timog kasi, dumiretso kami dito para i-celebrate ang birthday ni Kuya Nick.

"When are we not serious, cuz?" tumatawang sagot ni Gian sa 'kin, sabay akbay. Namumula na ang pisngi niya, sign na malapit nang malasing nang todo ang loko. Yet they still want to go to Tagaytay?

"Maganda do'n sa Papa Ds. We can continue there para maiba naman. Then later, let's drink coffee, wait for the sunrise, eat bulalo and then hit the hay," said Kuya Paul to me as we finally reached his black sedan.

On normal days, I would happily jump at the offer but the boys were clearly drunk. We're an accident waiting to happen kung matutuloy 'to so naturally, I shot down the idea.

"Aksidente yata habol n'yo. You guys are drunk," sabi ko. "Lalo ka na, Kuya. You can't drive. Let's go home na lang," I said to Kuya Paul in disbelief.

Humalakhak si Kuya Onyx. Binuksan niya ang pinto at tinulak papasok si Kuya Paul. "Who said he's driving? Kakapagawa lang ng kotse n'yan. Nobody's breaking anything under my watch."

Psh. Nagsalita ang isa pang lasing na rin.

Napatingin ako sa mga kapatid ko. Kuya Nick and Kuya Jacob were both tipsy. They were in no way capable of driving, too. Mathev, Gian, and the rest were just as drunk. If only Kuya Travis and Kuya Nick were here, mas may chance na mapapayag ko silang umuwi na lang muna.

Kuya Andrei tapped my shoulder. "Get in, Jav. I'll drive. Konti lang nainom ko."

"You sure you can?"

He gave a light smile, nodding.

Mula sa loob, sumigaw si Nick. "Have some faith, kapatid! Beterano na 'yan!"

Sighing, I relented. Kung sana may license na ako, I could drive for us since 'di naman ako uminom but unfortunately, wala pa kaya no choice ako kundi magtiis. Bummer.

Our ride had been smooth. Nasa front seat si Kuya Chris habang katabi ko sina Mathev at Kuya Paul. Nasa likod naman at nagkakantahan 'tong sina Gian, Kuya Jacob at Kuya Onyx. I think they were starting to sober down. Buti naman. Habang busy sa kantyawan ang mga nasa likod, humilig sa 'kin si Kuya Paul.

"So . . . " he trailed, "how is he?"

Nilingon ko siya. There were no signs of doubt, hurt or anything negative on his face. Just curiosity plain as the day.

"Racel?" I mouthed.

He nodded.

Napaisip ako. Ano ba ang tamang sagot sa tanong niya? There were no words available in our dictionary that could begin to describe what I feel for him and how we were as a couple. We were simply . . . content. Okay na ba 'yon?

"We're happy," I said and added, "and content. Definitely content."

I mean, I could share with him my most darkest thoughts, my inner secrets, my days, my nights-everything under the sun. Which for me is very sexy and uplifting dahil bihira na lang tayo makahanap ng tao na sobrang mag-ci-click sa 'tin. And I really appreciate those moments dahil mas nakikilala namin ng lubos ang isa't isa.

How many couples can say that about themselves, right? Ano pa ba ang hahanapin ko.

"Good. 'Yon lang naman ang mahalaga sa 'min," sabi niya sabay pitik sa noo ko. He didn't say anything else but his words left a lasting mark in me.

That was his quiet way of giving us his seal of approval, right?

#

They were right about one thing. Chill nga lang dito sa Paps.

The drinks were good and their food was uber delectable. Lalo na yung sisig at buffalo wings. One of the best na 'yata sa lahat ng natikman ko.

Mostly the boys drank the rest of the night pero mga bandang alas tres, nagpapababa na sila. Then we went to chill at a cafe to drink coffee and wait for the sunrise.

Doon din nabuo ang birthday party na pinaplano nila para kay Lhyle without his knowledge. No, it wasn't a surprise birthday party. Humahanap lang ng dahilan ang mga siraulo para gumala na naman next month. Ako ang naatasan na mag-book ng rooms kaya pag-uwi naming, agad ko nang kinausap si Lhyle at ang girls para alamin ang schedule nila. Medyo nahirapan akong humanap ng maayos na date so we decided to do it during the sembreak. Not exactly the birth date of Lhyle since we're two weeks late but it's better than nothing.

Anjo pitched in this resort: 88 Hotspring Resort. Nakita niya daw ito sa Instagram ni Angelo kaya gusto niya din mapuntahan. Sa may Los Baños ito at hindi gano'n ka-crowded. After seeing the photos of the place, I fell in love with it and immediately booked some rooms. Nature kasi ang theme ng lugar at may warm and cold pool pa. Okay na okay siya. Mukhang chill lang. We'll be there for two days and one night, then we'll head off to Bulacan to pay our respects to lolo and lola.

All of us will be there. Lhyle even extended the invitation to Angelo and Steel so I was pretty sure it was going to be a blast. Medyo excited ako. Wala naman masyadong adventures dito sa Los Baños pero yung idea lang na makaka-bond ko ang lahat ng mahal ko, sapat na para maging euphoric ako.

Speaking of Lhyle, he asked me out on a bestfriend date three days before his party. Yung kaming dalawa lang. Sanay naman ako sa mga biglaan niyang gimik na ganyan dahil kind of tradition na rin namin 'to. We go out once in a while na kaming dalawa lang, just to catch up on some things. We started the day by eating lunch together, and then he surprised me when he took me to this kart-racing track field in Circuit Makati.

Matagal ko nang gustong gawin 'to. Ayaw lang ipasubok sa 'kin ng mga kapatid ko dahil baka daw mapaano ako. Si Lhyle lang naman talaga ang mahilig magpasubok sa 'kin ng mga ganitong bagay. Ayoko naman subukan mag-isa dahil nasaan ang fun do'n, 'di ba? The other girls don't really appreciate these stuff as much as I do.

Their loss.

Because this race was the most exhilarating twelve minutes of my life! The rush of the wind, the thrill of speeding fast on a 600-meter track, felt amazing! Super saya ko dahil finally ma-co-cross out ko na 'to sa bucketlist ko. And just when I thought the day couldn't get any better, we went to this paintball field in Pasay.

I found it weird na kaming dalawa lang ang mag-t-try non. Normally, it would be done with a large group of friends. Pero okay na rin dahil nando'n pala ang college friends ni Lhyle kaya na-enjoy ko nang sobra ang activity.

Hah. I even got to shoot this flirt in the chest, which led to his early exit during the finals. Tapos, hindi ko in-e-expect na matitira ako sa huli. It was me versus these three other guys. I managed to evict someone pa before I got shot on the neck. It hurt, trust me. It hit me on the skin but it was super worth it.

After the activities, we ate dinner together and then Lhyle drove me home.

Even now, kahit tapos na 'yon, 'di pa rin nag-s-sink in sa 'kin ang mga ginawa nila. Damn. This was the best bestfriend day ever.

Kaso ako lang yata ang super nag-enjoy. Sa kotse, napansin ko na medyo seryoso na ang expression niya-something I didn't see on him earlier. Tahimik na kami kasi syempre, pagod na rin at medyo masakit ang katawan dahil sa tama ng paintballs.

"Uy. Okay ka lang?" I asked.

He looked surprised at my question so he moved his eyes off the road for a second. "Oo naman."

"Did I hit you pretty bad? You don't look okay."

He shook his head, waving my concerns away, and grinned in his usual wicked way. "I'm fine. May iniisip lang."

"About?"

"I'll tell you once everything is sure na. Don't worry about it for now."

I narrowed my brows. I wanted to press for more, but remembering the behavior of men, I caught myself.

This was Lhyle after all. If it was anything important, I knew he would tell me right away.

#

Para hindi na maulit yung naging away namin like last time, kinausap ko si Racel nang matagal tungkol sa vacation namin bukas. He was cool with it na. He said he'll try not to be overly jealous so I should enjoy myself kaya naman in return, I promised I'll stay in touch to update him. Ayokong mag-alala siya kaya kahit medyo clingy, plano kong lagi siyang i-text.

I ended this day and started the next with a phone call with him.

I'm not the type to be clingy talaga. In fact, I hate it pero parang nagsisimula na akong mag-warm up sa ganitong routine. Not bad, since siya rin naman talaga ang gusto kong kausap lagi.

We only hung up when my brothers called me down to eat. Then, we texted all throughout the ride to Laguna. Wala na ngang kwenta ang pinag-uusapan namin, e. Konting kwentuhan at puro kulitan na lang. But it felt nice because it only meant we still wanted to spend the holidays together even though it's physically impossible.

Sa mismong resort na namin nakita ang iba. Pagdating naming, nando'n na sina Angelo at Steel, naghihintay. Sakto rin ang naging dating ng girls, ni Lhyle at ng iba ko pang mga pinsan. We stayed at the lobby for a little while then we were being guided to our rooms and-

Holy shit.

The resort was to die for.

It's wide, beautiful and relaxing. Parang paradise smacked in the middle of nowhere.

Habang naglalakad kami papunta sa rooms, natatanaw ko ang mga puno at magagandang log swings. Anjo ran over to me, squealing. "Shit na malagkit! Jan, ang ganda dito! Grammable!"

"I know, right? Worth it ang pang-s-stalk mo kay Angelo kahit creepy," I joked.

Tumawa siya. "Creepy ka d'yan. Buti nga siya na lang, e. Taken na si Papa G, e. Off-limits naman si Papa J. I need my dosage of happy crush." Then binulong niya, "Bonus na lang na nandito si mayor."

Natawa ako sa kalokohan niya. Kahit kailan talaga 'to. Dakilang fangirl. Alam na nga din ni Angelo yung feels niya dahil wala naman siyang ginagawang move para itago ang feelings niya. Discreet is not part of her vocabulary. Ever. Tama nga siya when she said she's under the sanguine temperament. Hah. Good luck naman kung maging sila talaga. At hindi rin talaga ako papayag. Ayokong magkasakitan silang dalawa. Knowing Anjo pa naman, siya talaga ang female version ni Angelo kaya there was no way they'd hit it off.

We finally reached the rooms and unpacked. I shared mine with the girls while the boys took the other three rooms. Kuya Jacob, Kuya Chris and Kuya Travis were in one room. Kuya Andrei, Angelo and Steel took the other while Lhyle, Mathev and Kuya Paul were in the room next to ours. Sa last room naman sina Gian, Kuya Nick at Kuya Onyx. Kung tutuusin, the executive rooms could fit like 6 to 8 people inside but since maaarte ang boys at ayaw matulog nang magkakatabi, they agreed on this arrangement early on. Geez.

Nang maayos na kami, lumabas na ang boys para i-check ang restaurant sa taas. The thing about this place kasi, may two levels siya. You get to ascend the furnished stone stairs and see the other rooms, pools, and bar and restaurant on the second level. Okay siya. Maganda ang tanawin doon. I guess the only downside to this place is bawal magpasok ng food. I mean, birthday celebration ito ni Lhyle but we couldn't even give him a cake. 'Di bale. May Italian store naman don sa kabilang side. Baka doon, may pastry kaming makita. Kahit cupcake lang, okay na.

Habang nasa taas ang boys, umikot-ikot muna kami sa first level para kumuha ng pictures. Ang lawak din talaga ng lugar na 'to. I think it's perfect for team building. They even have a pond at the farthest side of the resort, firing ranges, stargazing telescopes. If that's not perfect, then I didn't know what was.

"C'mon, girls. Iwan n'yo muna love life n'yo," reklamo ni Maxxie.

For a second there, I thought she was pertaining to me dahil nag-te-text ako kay Racel non but when I looked at them, she was actually teasing Hiromi who was currently growing red by the second.

Nakuha noon ang curiosity ni Anjo kaya dali-dali 'tong tumakbo para silipin kung sino ang tinetext ni Hiromi kanina pa. "Uyy. Sino ba kasi 'yan?"

"Wala," nahihiyang sabi ni Hiro habang nilalayo ang phone niya. "Wala talaga. Daddy ko lang."

Napangiti ako at bumaling kay Ahron. "Ikaw, babe. 'Di mo ba tatawagan si Justin?"

She snorted, ignored me, and took a candid shot of me with her DSLR instead. Nakita 'yon ng ibang girls kaya nagulo na sila at sumali sa photos.

"Tara, dip na tayo," yaya ni Ahron after we checked the firing range area.

Agad na kaming nagpalit into our swimwear and then we tried the main pool. Nandito na rin ang boys. Natagalan ang mga kupal sa pag-ikot sa second level dahil sa mga sculptures doon na Rated 18. I bet they took silly pictures. Asses.

Naririnig ko ang pagmumura ni Kuya Onyx dahil muntik siyang itulak ni Lhyle doon sa hot pool sa kabila.

"Dapat tinulak mo na, dude. Could've been the highlight of this day," said Mathev, laughing. He was holding his camera, no doubt recording everything that just happened.

"Toasted egg for dinner. Yuck," hirit pa ni Kuya Jacob sabay tawa.

We played around for a good hour or so. When the sun dipped low in the horizon, maaga akong nagpaalam sa grupo. I said I was tired but not really. Gusto ko lang na bago kami kumain ng dinner, mabati namin nang matino si Lhyle. So binilisan ko ang paliligo at pagpapalit ng damit. Buti na lang abala sa pag-sou-soundtrip ng Eraserheads ang mga 'yon kaya hindi nila napansin nang pumuslit ako papunta sa Italian restaurant.

Medyo madilim na rin kaya laking pasalamat ko na bumukas na ang mga lamp posts. Inside the restaurant, I stalled around while deciding whether or not I should buy an actual cake or cupcake na lang. Lhyle wasn't the type to appreciate sweets. In fact, ang tanging sweets lang naman na kinakain no'n, yung gawa ng mommy niya at yung mga pastries ko na gusting-gusto niyang inaagaw.

Kung cupcake naman ang bibilhin ko, baka magtampo pa siya na tinipid ko siya. Knowing him, that was highly likely. Lhyle pa naman could be such a drama queen.

Hm. Cake na lang talaga. At least kahit hindi niya kainin, makakain pa rin ng iba.

With that in mind, I ordered for the in-house chocolate mocha cake. Then after a few minutes of waiting, I stepped out of the restaurant only to find Angelo waiting for me outside.

He straightened up and grinned once I spotted him.

"Sumunod ka pala?"

He eyed the box I was holding. "For Lhyle? So sweet naman, this girl."

"Parang kulang kasi kung 'di natin siya babatiin, 'di ba?"

"That's so-" He stopped when he saw my raised brow and my smile daring him to say 'childish'. "-sweet. Ayan, sabi ko nga. Happy?"

"'Yan. Good boy." I laughed.

We traipsied back to the main pool area. Angelo hovered at my side, his hands fiddling around. Very obvious din talaga ang isang 'to kapag may gustong sabihin.

"Ano ba 'yon?"

"Huh?"

"You're so obvious. Just spill it."

"Wala," but he said after a moment, "May itatanong lang sana ako."

Bumaling ako sa kanya. "Ano nga?"

He paused to look at my face, his mouth opening and then closing like a suffocating fish. "Fuck."

"What nga?" I pressed on.

He looked almost lost when he said, "Nothing, Jamie V. Probably nothing."

Tumawa ako. "Weirdo."

#

Pagbalik namin, si Ahron ang unang nakakita sa 'min kaya tinawag niya kaagad ang atensyon ni Lhyle para hindi kami makita nito. The boys were sport enough to ride on dahil mas lalo nilang ginulo si Lhyle habang inaayos namin yung candle sa cake. Nando'n sila sa malayong part ng pool. Naririnig ko pa nga ang mga daing ni Lhyle dahil nilulunod ito nina Mathev at Steel.

"I thought you're going to buy a cupcake lang?" Hiromi asked me, lighting up the candles.

"I remembered Anjo kasi. Siguradong gugustuhin no'n ng cake mamaya."

"True." She smiled, took the cake out of the box, and handed it to me.

Once we were set up na, tinawag na namin sila Ahron. Lhyle was confused pa nga nang tinutulak siya ni Kuya Paul dahil tinakpan nito ang mga mata niya. When he was released and saw the cake in my hands, a stunned look took over his face.

"Happy birthday, kupal!" bati ko.

That triggered a very stupid happy birthday song from my cousins. I thought Lhyle would smirk and say This is so silly, but he surprised me when he actually waited for the song to finish before blowing off the flame. Then, kinuha niya sa 'kin yung cake para ilapag sabay hinatak ako sa isang mahigpit na yakap. The girls clapped and the boys whistled.

Nagulat ako sa ginawa niya but I hugged him back. Ako dapat ang unang bibitaw sa yakap but he held me back and even buried his face in the crook of my neck.

Tumawa ako habang tinatapik ang likod niya. Mukhang na-touch talaga ang kupal.

Mathev said while smirking, "Hey. Malagkit na 'yan, a?"

"Paps, dehins na inosente 'yan. Iba na 'yan," sabi naman ni Kuya Chris.

Doon lang pumiglas sa 'kin si Lhyle. I looked up at him in confusion. I tried to read his expression but it was stormy and I couldn't decode what he was thinking at the moment. His eyes were smoldering as he looked back at me.

"Bes?" I whispered.

"Mamimiss ko 'to," sabi niya sabay hakbang palayo sa 'kin.

"Huh? Why? Are you going somewhere?" lito kong tanong.

It took him a second to reply. "I mean, 'to. 'Tong moment na 'to." Sabay ngumisi siya. "Init ng yakap mo, e."

Bago pa ako makapag-react, nabatukan na siya ni Maxxie at naulanan ng "Korni mo!" Hindi ko na rin masyadong pinansin ang sinabi niya dahil nagyaya na ng dinner sina Kuya Andrei at Kuya Travis.

#

Later that night, we went up to the restaurant. Nauna nang pumasok sina Ahron, Maxxie at Anjo kasabay ng mga kapatid ko. I stayed outside kasi hinihintay ko pa si Hiromi. May kausap ito sa phone kanina and she wasn't looking okay. Mukha 'tong naiiyak dahil sa kausap.

"Ba't nandyan ka pa?" tanong sa 'kin ni Gian.

"Inaantay ko lang si Hiro. Nakita n'yo ba?"

"Yeah. Nadaanan ko kanina. Umiiyak nga, e."

Umakma akong bababa para puntahan si Hiro but Kuya Travis stopped me and told me nakita daw niya si Hiro na kasama ni Kuya Onyx.

"She'll be fine. Tara na."

I hesitated. Was I supposed to feel comforted by the fact na kasama ni Kuya Onyx, the biggest flirt of all, ang kaibigan kong may pinagdaraanan?

"Sige, Kuya. Una na kayo."

True enough, Hiromi did come a minute after with Kuya Onyx and Kuya Paul. Nakasunod sa kanila sina Steel, Lhyle at Angelo na titig na titig sa likod ni Hiromi. Mukhang okay na si H dahil nakangiti na 'to kahit medyo namumugto ang mata. Still, I glared at Kuya Onyx who was quick to raise his hands and step away from her. Sisitahin ko sana ito but he shut me up with his annoying smirk.

"He didn't do anything, Jan," coaxed Hiromi as she walked closer to the door.

"Wait," sabi ni Angelo sabay hatak sa braso ni Hiromi para pigilan ito. Parang may napansin siya dahil tinitingnan niyang mabuti ang suot ni Hiromi.

Kunot-noong tinitigan ni Angelo yung suot na jacket ni Hiromi.

"Why, paps?" tanong ni Lhyle.

Angelo turned to Hiromi. "Where did you buy this? Looks awfully familiar."

Humagalpak si Steel at tinapik sa likod si Angelo. "Tangina mo naman, Geon. Pati ba jacket ng babae kursonada mo na?"

Umiling si Angelo, nananatiling seryoso.

"Bakit ba?" I asked, curious na rin.

"It seems familiar lang," sabi niya. He looked so serious that I couldn't even joke about how weird he was acting. "Very familiar."

"Baka nakita mo nang suot niya 'yan. Ganda 'no? That's custom-made. Siya lang may ganyan sa buong Pinas," sabi ko.

Angelo walked around Hiromi to check the back of the jacket. "Mimi?"

"My nickname."

"You said this is custom made?" Angelo shifted his gaze to me, that unfathomable expression still on his face.

I nodded lightly.

He furrowed his brows and said nothing else as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. His forehead was crunched in deep thought as he quietly sauntered into the restaurant, leaving us behind.

Nagkatinginan na lang kami ni Hiromi na mukhang nalito rin kung bakit biglang nagkaganoon si Angelo.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked me, biting her lip.

I shrugged, clueless as well.

No idea. Hindi rin ako sure what exactly ticked him off. If I remembered correctly, ganyang-ganyan din si Angelo noon sa Youth Camp when he suddenly spouted bizarre things about apples. Ay, ewan ko na. Naguguluhan na rin ako.

Naging tahimik sa buong dinner si Angelo na para bang ang lalim lalim ng iniisip niya at wala siya sa mood. Inaasar siya ni Maxxie kay Anjo pero walang kibo ito. Kahit nung tanungin siya ng boys kung anong meron, wala din naman 'tong sagot. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out he was upset. But what triggered this sudden behavior, hindi talaga namin alam. Bigla na lang talaga nagbago ang timpla ng mood niya. Kanina naman okay siya. Weird talaga.

After dinner, the boys went to the bar to start their session. Si Angelo lang ang wala doon-as expected-kaya hinanap ko siya. I found him in one of the log swings na malapit sa entrance.

He didn't look like he was pissed off. Parang may gumugulo lang talaga sa kanya. If anything, he looked more pissed at himself judging by the way his hands kept on clenching and unclenching on his lap.

"Hey," tawag ko. Nilapitan ko siya at inabutan ng long island iced tea na inorder ko talaga para sa kanya. "What's up? You okay?"

Tahimik niyang kinuha yung baso. I walked around and took the seat right across him. Tahimik lang din ako at pinakikiramdaman ko ang mood niya. Hindi talaga ako sanay 'pag ganito siya. I mean, I get it. Angelo has his serious moments din talaga pero yung bigla siyang mawawala sa mood? Mindblowing. Nakakapanibago.

Angelo took a deep breath and stared at me, his observant eyes probing and gauging me at the same time.

I raised my brows in part worry and confusion.

He let out a smile that didn't quite reach his ears. It was probably meant to reassure me but I wasn't sold.

"Jamie V, how are you, really?" simula niya.

Nagulat ako sa tanong niya. Sa pagkakaalam ko kasi, siya 'tong hindi okay. Hindi ako. Seriously. What gives?

"Huh?" I said. "What do you mean?" At saka, bakit parang napapadalas na yata ang mga ganitong tanong niya sa 'kin.

He shrugged his shoulders impatiently. Again, another unusual display from him. "Just answer the question."

I furrowed my brows. Sige, fine. I'd humor him.

"I'm great. Okay na kami nina Kuya. Okay din kami ni Racel. Things couldn't be any better."

He tilted his head like he wasn't buying it. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. Why ba kasi?"

He shrugged again, giving nothing away.

So I naturally added more to what I said.

"Although, syempre, mas masaya sana kung nandito rin siya. You know. . . I could easily picture him in the pool, drinking his beer and laughing away," dagdag ko. "Mas masaya sana 'yon."

Angelo said nothing to that. He looked away and took a sip from his drink. I did the same and used my feet to kick the log seat into a lazy swing. "How did you discover this place pala?" tanong ko.

Without looking, he answered quietly. "My mom's friend. She's Korean so she knows a lot of good spots here. To be honest, this is my secret place."

Oh.

"Sorry if we intruded. Gusto kasi 'tong puntahan ni Anjo, e. Alam mo naman 'yon. Super fangirl mo."

"Nah. It's totally cool. You're my happy person naman." His eyes snapped back to mine, a hint of that familiar Castillo smile resurfacing in his lips.

Tumawa ako. "Flirt."

Then parehas na naman kaming natahimik. Ang tugtugan lang mula sa bar at yung tawanan ng boys sa bandang poolside ang umaalingawngaw ngayon sa resort. Sanay naman na ako sa mga random bouts of silence nitong si Angelo. Madalas kasi, comfortable 'yon at chill lang but this one felt different talaga. It was tight and uncomfortable. Basta. May iba. May bago. May something.

And this something was clearly troubling him and it started kanina do'n sa dinner. Inadvertently, I was troubled, too. He was someone na super laki ng naging emotional support sa 'kin back when I needed it. I wanted to return the favor now, if I could.

Thinking it was the matchmaking that set him off, I apologized.

Agad siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa 'kin. "For what?"

"Nung inaasar ka namin kay Anjo. Na-offend ka yata namin."

His brows arched momentarily. "Hm? No, it's not that."

Then he fell back to that cold mysterious aura again. I could almost see the chaos brewing beneath his grey eyes. Kung ano man ang iniisip niya, pinapakaba ako nito. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin sa 'kin na hindi ko mahimigan kung ano.

Uneasy, I shuffled on my seat and sipped from my drink. Since he was adamant on keeping his silence, inabala ko na lang ang sarili ko sa pagtingin sa paligid namin. The fairy lights around the trees were on kaya mas naging enchanted ang vibes nitong lugar. Perfect night talaga to chill. Sayang lang na this certain friend was giving me a huge fright right now.

Matagal bago nagsalita ulit si Angelo and when he did, he sent my heart flying out of my ribcage. And I meant that in a bad way.

"Say, Jamie V," he said in a thoughtful tone. "Leave Racel na lang kaya?"

Hoshet. What?

Natigilan ako sa pag-s-swing ng log seat. I gaped at him in shock. "What did you say?"

I expected na tatawa siya bigla at sasabihin na mad joke lang ang lahat but no, Angelo had a solemn look on his face that told me he was completely and utterly serious. His eyes were practically begging to be taken seriously.

Kinabahan ako sa sobrang lalim at mapanuri ng tingin niya.

"I said leave Racel na lang."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time," I said. "But why? Where is this coming from? Kinausap ka ba nina Kuya?"

"What?" he responded, "No, never. This is my opinion."

"You've got to be kidding me. Hey, this is a really bad joke, dude."

"I wish I am."

"You mean, seryoso ka?" I said, mortified.

"Very."

My mouth opened and closed as I thought of what words to say next. Speechless was the understatement of the century.

"Why? You must have a reason. Alam mo naman ang pinagdaanan namin, 'di ba. You know I can't leave him just like that. Not now. Not ever. I wanna know the reason."

"I know. That's why I don't want you to get hurt," he answered firmly.

Hindi ko na gusto ang biglang takbo ng usapan na 'to. Nilapag ko ang baso sa table sa pagitan namin.

"Angelo, what's really going on?"

But he didn't answer me. Katulad ng ginawa niya kanina, nilayo niya ang tingin niya sa 'kin na para bang iniiwasan niya ang mga tanong ko. He kept quiet for a long long time. He appeared like he was having a mental battle with himself. He looked outright conflicted, as if he was weighing his options and planning his next course of actions as well.

Then finally, he sighed. "Never mind. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I am."

"Ano ba kasi 'yon? You can't just say that and not offer an explanation," I said in frustration.

He shook his head. "Just answer me this. Is it worth it?"

"Racel? Of course he is."

"Then never mind, Jamie V." He stood up and picked up his drink. "I'm a bit tired. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight," he curtly said, leaving me alone in the log swing with more questions than answers.

I wanted to go after him for explanations but the way he acted confused the shit out of me, too. Inisip ko na lang na baka bukas, okay na siya.

Sad to say that was wishful thinking.

The next day, Angelo was back to his usual high spirits but I wasn't dumb not to notice how he was blatantly avoiding me and the girls. He deliberately kept close to the boys all throughout the day, not once even explaining to me what the fuck was going on. Ni kibo, wala. Ni tingin, wala. Alam kong hindi mababaw na tao si Angelo kaya lalo akong ginugulo ng mga sinabi niya. It was troubling me way more than it should.

Especially when after the holidays, he didn't contact me anymore.