I wasn't always close with the boys. At least, not like this. When we were kids, Kuya Jacob and Gian used to be my bestfriends and they had been until I hit the fourth grade. Nung mga panahon na kasi na 'yon, I was craving for female friends pero ayaw nilang sumasama sa 'kin dahil sa mga kapatid at pinsan ko. Si Ahron lang naman talaga ang nag-iisang female friend ko no'n but since we weren't in the same school, naghahanap talaga ako ng magiging kaibigan sa campus.

See, my brothers and cousins held quite a loud reputation there. They were undeniably a good-looking bunch, that's true, but they were also very rowdy and girls hated that. Especially when the De Villa were infamous for their bloody antics and mischief. Masyado silang mapang-asar mapababae man o mapalalaki. Palaaway din at matitigas ang ulo.

Kaya in short, medyo na-bully at napagsasabihan ako dahil sa kanila and I blamed them for it.

So nung naging freshman ako, I totally distanced myself away from them. Doon na silang nag-start magbago sa 'kin. The girls became my friends at the cost of the boys.

Kung dati lagi nila akong ini-i-spoil, this time they were teasing me and annoying me non-stop. Sobrang bullies, I swear. Parang gumaganti kasi ayaw ko na silang kasama. We had an on-going war that lasted well into my junior days. Naaalala ko pa nga no'n.

Sa sobrang pagkabanas ko sa pagiging sarcastic ni Mathev, binato ko siya ng bola nung nag-vo-volley ball kami ng girls.

Paano kasi, nilalandi niya ang mga kaibigan ko sabay nagpaparinig ng kung anu-ano sa 'kin (that's when he started dubbing me as Amasona).

Ang nakakainis pa, pinag-iinitan niya lagi si Avi (my almost-boyfriend that time). Then one time, months after the incident with Mathev, binuhusan ko naman ng spaghetti si Kuya Nick dahil biniro niya ako at kunwaring natapunan ng tubig noon. Konti lang naman pero sa T-shirt ko kasi nabuhos 'yon at dahil nando'n si Rohann no'n (my happy crush then), sobrang naiyak ako at ginantihan siya. It was sheer chaos among us.

Lalo na sa bahay.

Kuya Travis was always good to me-perks of him being the eldest and me being the youngest. Pero sina Kuya Chris at Kuya Jacob, ayan ang mga sobra mampikon. Lagi nilang nila akong kinukulit. Ang pinakakinainisan ko pa nga no'n, yung nilagyan ni Kuya Jacob ng gum ang buhok ko. Si Kuya Chris naman lagi akong tinatakot dahil may alaga pa siyang mga hamsters no'n. Kuya Andrei, with the exception of Kuya Travis, was the only one who didn't play along with their games.

Pero hindi rin naman kami gaanong close no'n kasi lagi niyang kasama si Kuya Jacob na kinapipikunan ko.

When the latter half of my junior year rolled by, the teasings eventually became subtle. Na-busy na rin kasi sila sa mga nagiging girlfriends and flings nila at mas na-focus sila sa sports.

And me? Naka-focus na rin ako kay Rohann dahil nagiging steady na ang relationship namin noon. I was ecstatic when he asked me out.

Me! Out of all the pretty and liberated girls in our school, ako ang nagustuhan niya! Javee, the tomboy slash aggressive girl A.K.A one of the De Villa 'boys'. I was over the moon and beyond when he confessed his feelings to me in front of the student body kasi matagal ko na siyang gusto.

After kasi ng fall-out ko with Avi, siya ang naging crush ko. So I was understandably giddy when we went out but the boys didn't take it well. They had been furious about it. Kahit naman kasi binubully nila ako, hindi naman nawala yung mga oras na paminsan-minsan ay nagiging sweet at protective sila sa 'kin.

Medyo naging magulo yung time na 'yon. Rohann was part of Gian's close circle kasi. Akala ko magiging masaya siya sa naging relasyon namin ng kaibigan niya. So nung nauna pa siyang nagalit, sobra ang gulat ko. Sinugod at sinuntok niya si Rohann, causing me to punch him in the face in return. Hindi ko kinibo si Gian for almost two months after that.

Kuya Paul and Kuya Andrei were more reasonable. Sinubukan nilang bigyan ng chance si Rohann and me, the smitten stupid me, was just very happy with the fact that Rohann was mine. Gano'n ako na-hook sa kanya. Enough na muntik ko na ngang isuko 'yon pero napigilan lang. Siguro kasi, super nasaktan ako nang natapos ang sa amin ni Avi (the almost relationship didn't work out mostly because he kept going in and out of the country). Kaya nang mabaling ang atensyon ko kay Rohann, I gave my all.

Needless to say, sa junior year ko, lalong lumayo ang loob ko sa boys. Umikot ang mundo ko kay Rohann. Kahit sina Lhyle, Ahron, Maxxie at Anjo, hindi ko na nabibigyan ng attention noon. I was very daft and whipped by that wanker.

That soon changed when I reached my senior year. Even with Rohann's presence kasi, some boys still tried to hit on me. The De Villa boys, having shedded away their bullying tendencies towards me, went back to being my full time guardians. Doon kami nag-start na maging close ulit. We patched up and bounced back to the way things were before school got in the way. Though minsan lang kami nakakalabas noon kasi busy pa rin naman kami sa kanya-kanya naming mga buhay.

Still, they watched over me. They kept close vigil and kahit at the time ay medyo naiilang ako don, I appreciated it.

It was only until Rohann upped and left me that I began to realize the importance of the boys in my life. I was a wretched mess then. I didn't know how to pick up the pieces of my broken heart but my brothers and my cousins stayed with me all throughout. Sila 'tong sobrang nagalit kay Rohann. Mas galit pa sila kaysa sa 'kin.

They taught me how to fight, how to ward off those assholes, how to erect my defenses so high so that no boys would be able to get in anymore. Tinuruan nila akong magpakalasing, magpaka-walwal. Dinala nila ako sa travels, sa adventures, at pinakilala sa iba't ibang sports.

I built my world around them and held their words like a prayer. They became my life. And by being with them all the time-sa bar, sa basketball games, sa gimmicks-I got to observe their behavior with girls and in return, formulate my anti-play boy manual. It helped me grow. It protected me until now.

Until Racel.

With him, everything felt natural. One thing smoothly led to another and before I was even aware of it, my walls came crashing down. Whether it was because I set them down willingly or he diligently climbed over them, I'd never know. Basta ang alam ko lang, wala akong pinagsisisihan.

So if you'd ask me if I regret getting my heart broken by Rohann, the answer is still the same. I don't regret a single thing because that's how we learn anyway-through our mistakes. That's what he is to me, a mistake in my past. One I'd never intend to commit again then and now. And if things were up to me, I wouldn't wanna see him again but fate had other plans, it seemed.

Since this very mistake was standing right in front of me at our frigging gates, no less! Way to ruin my Saturday morning.

A frown immediately took over my face as I stared in disbelief at the person in front of me.

"Jamie, hey," Rohann greeted with an affable smile as though there was nothing wrong with him being here right now. He was still the same old guy. Same crinkling eyes, same wicked grin-only he grew buffer but that wasn't surprising given his nature.

I squinted my eyes and pushed him forward, closing the gates with a screech behind me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait?"

"What? Can't a guy visit an old friend from time to time?" he asked innocently, his brows raising, making my blood boil. Oh, to hell with this boy. Napaka-insensitive.

I threw him an exasperated look. "Tangina, Rohann. 'Wag ako. Please. Spare me the theatrics. Anong ginagawa mo dito? Baka makita ka pa nina Kuya! Naghahanap ka ba ng gulo?"

He shrugged as though the very idea did little to affect him. "Then let them. Since when have I been scared of Jacob anyway? Besides, I'm here to do him a favor."

I crossed my arms and tried to say as calmly as possible, "Umuwi ka na sa inyo. You're not wanted here. In fact, you're not wanted anywhere near us."

Rohann studied my face for a full second before he released a sigh and the expression on his face melted into a soft, concerned look. He lifted his hands as if he were trying to placate me. "Listen, I'm not here to cause any trouble. I'm just worried for you. I care for-"

"Worried for me?" Tumaas ang boses ko at tumawa ako. "We haven't seen each other for years and you're saying you're worried? If you truly cared for me, you wouldn't have left me the way you did. And if you know what's good for the both of us now, you'll leave my house at once. You're still the same, Rohann. Still that same douche from back then. You still do what you wanna do without regard for the people around you. You never cared for anyone. You didn't then and you certainly don't right now. So don't talk to me about worry," I said with ire.

Kumunot ang noo niya. He rubbed his neck, seemingly taken aback and rendered speechless. Then he cleared his throat. "Okay, I deserve that. I admit, I was a jerk. But believe me when I say I never stopped caring for you. I regret everything I did, Jamie and I've always hated myself for hurting you. I swear. That's why I can't just stand back and let you do this. I can't watch you get hurt a second time around."

Nanlamig ang buong sistema ko sa naririnig ko mula sa kanya. I couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. Oo, alam kong makapal ang mukha ng isang 'to. But to this extent? I couldn't believe I ever felt anything for this insensitive pig.

"I don't need your help, thank you very much. I got by just fine, no thanks to you." I snapped, shaking my head. "I don't have time for your nonsense, Rohann. Please lang, umuwi ka na. Ayokong mag-away ulit kami ni Kuya Jacob," I said, turning around to go back inside the house.

Rohann moved quickly so that he'd block my way. He placed his hands on my shoulders. As if getting burnt, I immediately slapped them away.

"Just hear me out. Five minutes. Promise. 'Di na kita guguluhin after today! Just hear me out!" He sounded desperate.

I locked him in a sharp glare. Knowing him, he would never back down. Kahit anong tulak ko sa kanya ay hinding-hindi niya ako titigilan. So I sighed and groaned in distress.

"Fine. Five minutes. Time starts now." Better get rid of him now.

Surprise took over his face na parang hindi niya in-e-expect na pagbibigyan ko siya. He shuffled on his feet, licked his lips and cleared his throat, his eyes focusing on me.

"Right. know I don't have the right to say this dahil iniwan kita noon. Pero hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na kayo na ni Racel. How the hell did that happen? Paano hinayaan nina Jacob 'yon? Look, you have to stop it now. Ikaw lang ang masasaktan. This thing with Racel, you can't continue it. Kahit wala ako sa Pilipinas noon, alam ko kung gaano nila kinaiinisan ang isa't isa. And knowing Racel, there's no way he'd date someone with so much complications unless he's planning something. Like getting even. So Jamie, c'mon. You have to break-up with him now before you start to fall in love with him," he said, his words tumbling out of his mouth.

Nag-panting ang mga tainga ko sa naririnig ko. It was a wrong wrong move giving this asshole his five minutes.

"So gusto mo akong makipag-break sa kanya? Nagpunta ka dito para sabihin 'yan? Ang galing mo rin 'no? Okay, sige. Let's say we break up. And then what? Anong gusto mong mangyari?"

His face blanched. Clearly he didn't expect the question.

"I... I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Obviously. You never did anyway. Ang kapal ng mukha mo. I'll never break up with Racel and if you even have plans to get back with me, don't even think about it. Wala akong planong makipaghiwalay," mataray kong sinabi.

"But I'm telling you. He's just-"

"In love with me. Did that never occur to you? And I'm already in love with him too," I said, lifting my chin, daring him to contest that fact.

Rohann lifted and gestured with his hands like he was desperate to make me see reason.

"It's not yet too late. If you stop it now, makaka-move-on ka din. Katulad nang ginawa mo with Avi before. With me. Kung ikaw, kaya mo. Ayaw ko lang na makita kang saktan ng kaibigan ko kaya ko ginagawa 'to."

"If there's anyone who hurt me, ikaw 'yon, Rohann. Racel never hurt me. Ikaw 'tong gagong nanloko sa 'kin. Hindi siya. Kaya wala kang karapatan na sabihan siya ng ganyan. Dapat nga sa 'yo mo sinasabi 'yan e kasi ikaw ang asshole. Akala ko ba magkaibigan kayo? Is this what you've been reduced to? You were a jerk before but this-this is a new kind of low. This is too low even by your standards. You're pathetic," I said, shaking my head and making sure my disgust and pity were blatant. "You don't get to mess and interfere with my relationship with Racel. He's more real than you could ever hope to be. He's nothing like you. You're not even half the man that he is. You don't get to decide on my relationships."

He was quiet for a long time that I even wondered if he would still reply. I doubted he even could. Good. Mabuti nang malinaw kami. Ang ayoko sa lahat ay marinig ang lahat ng paninira na 'yon galing sa kanya. It wasn't right.

I continued, making sure I enunciate each word clearly so they would drill into his head. "At bakit ngayon lang? You talked to him, didn't you? Why wait all this time? You don't get to walk back into my life and suddenly demand things from me. You won't affect my life anymore. In fact, you don't get to walk back at all. I don't want you and your stupid face anywhere near me again. You understand? Now, piss off or I swear I'll call security."

Rohann wasn't able to get another word out. His mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish. His stunned silence calmed me down and satisfied, I spun around, stepped into our property and closed the gates, effectively removing him from my life and closing his chapter in my book.

Never again would he have a say in my life.

#

Rohann was long gone by the time my brothers came home. As usual, diretso sa kanyang kwarto 'tong si Kuya Jacob para magbihis. May lakad ulit ito kaya sina Kuya Chris at Kuya Andrei lang ang sumabay sa 'kin sa lunch. Kuya Travis wasn't home yet. May inaasikaso siya with the parentals.

Matagal kong pinag-isipan kung dapat ko bang sabihin kay Racel na nagpunta dito si Rohann. I wanted to pero at the same time, nagda-dalawang-isip ako. Ayokong bigyan siya ng bagong iisipin. It was done anyway. I shunned Rohann. Did he have to know about it lalo na kung 'di naman importante? At isa pa, he's enjoying some quality time with his family right now. Ayokong ma-badtrip siya.

Pero ayoko rin naman magsinungaling.

Hoshet. Ang complicated naman. Badtrip. Kasalanan 'to ni Rohann. Kung hindi siya nagpunta dito ay hindi sana ako magkaka-dilemma ngayon.

"Someone's in a bad mood," komento ni Kuya Andrei habang pinagmamasdan ako. He lifted a brow at me, pointing at me using his fork. "What's up?"

I blinked and looked at the two of them. Oh. Hindi ko napansin na pinapanood pala nila ako.

"Probably Jacob again, e? 'Wag mo na kasing iniintindi 'yon. Maarte lang talaga 'yang kupal mong kapatid," pasok ni Kuya Chris habang tinuturo ang pagkain kong kanina ko pa hindi nagagalaw dahil distracted ako.

Umiling ako at pinaglaruan ang kutsara. "Hindi naman si Kuya Jacob. Bored lang ako. Wala tayo masyadong getaway this summer," I lied. Sa kanila din. Ayoko rin malaman nila na galing dito si Rohann. Panibagong gulo na naman 'yon.

"Yeah? They're too caught up with that wine project so there's nothing we can do about that. How about we go for a joyride na lang?" Kuya Chris suggested, waggling his eyebrows. "Turuan ulit kitang mag-drive."

"Sama ako. I wanna try your driving skills for myself," Kuya Andrei added, smiling.

"You sure? Ma-bo-bore ka lang. D'yan lang naman kami sa vacant lot," I answered him.

"Sama ka na, Drei. Diretso na rin tayong Tags after."

I started and turned to my older brother. "What? Uy, Kuya! Wala pa akong license!"

Nagtaas ng kilay si Kuya Chris. "Ano naman? Syempre, ako magda-drive ng kotse mo. Bawal ba? Damot nito." He clicked his tongue.

I paused, thinking, then smiled sheepishly. "Oo nga 'no. Sige, tara. Doon na tayo mag-dinner."

It sounded like a good idea din. I needed to let my mind off some annoying things and this was exactly the distraction I needed. After lunch, nag-ayos na ako at nagsabi kay Racel na aalis kaming magkakapatid ngayon. Naglaro pa muna ng Xbox 'tong sina Kuya kaya halos alas-tres na rin kami nakaalis ng bahay.

Syempre, hindi sumama si Kuya Jacob kahit na inaya namin siya. May sarili 'tong lakad kasama sina Kuya Paul at Carlo kaya hindi na rin namin pinilit. His absence from my life was beginning to scare me. Paano kung masanay ako na ganito kami?

Hay. Hindi ko na rin alam.

Sa malapit na vacant lot kami nag-test driving. Doon ako tinuruan ni Kuya Chris ng mga nalalaman niya. Well, may background na rin naman ako kasi tinuruan na ako ng basics ni Dad before. And last month, Kuya Travis rehashed everything in one driving session. So ngayon, medyo alam ko na ang lahat at smooth na ang pagmamaneho ko.

Still, I wouldn't be too confident about it. Hanggat wala akong lisensya, hinding hindi ko ilalabas si Sleek. Yes, Sleek. I named my baby Jaguar. Everybody does, yeah?

"Ayos na 'yan, bunso. Konting practice na lang pwede ka nang mag-take ng exam," sabi ni Kuya Chris habang inaayos ang seatbelt niya. Nagpalit na kami ng seats dahil siya na ang magda-drive papunta ng Tagaytay. It was around five p.m na kaya doon na talaga kami mag-dinner.

"Basta 'wag mong kakalimutan ang mga tinuro sa 'yo. Tsaka simulan mo nang masanay sa traffic dito." Tumawa si Kuya Andrei.

Napangiwi ako. Oo nga pala. Iba kapag nasa vacant lot ka, iba din kapag nasa actual road na. Cough, traffic, cough. 'Di pa maiiwasan ang mga jeepneys, tricycles and side-cars na pasaway. And ehem, hello Edsa.

"Matututunan ko rin 'yan," I said positively.

"Ta's next time, ikaw na ang mag-da-drive sa mga lakad natin. Ayos!" sabi ni Kuya Chris sabay tapik sa balikat ko.

"As if naman papayag si Kuya Travis."

"'Yon? Konting lambing mo lang do'n titiklop din 'yon. Parang 'di mo kabisado si Kuya." Tumawa siya.

Napangisi na rin ako. Yeah, that's true. I'm really a spoiled girl.

We had our dinner in Charito by Bag of Beans. Cozy ang ambiance ng lugar na ito kaya gustung-gusto ko dito. The view was also nice kaso gabi na kasi kaya hindi na gaanong tanaw ang Taal Lake.

I zipped my jacket, shivering at the cold breeze blowing from the lake. Kuya Andrei removed his cap and placed it on my head.

"Sabi kasing magdala ka ng mas makapal na jacket, e. Ang kulit mo."

Dumila lang ako at napatawa.

Nakakakamiss din yung ganito. Naalala ko yung time na nagpunta kami dito sa Tagaytay kasama si Kuya Jacob. He did the same thing to me with his cap. How damn nostalgic. Nakakamiss din.

I made a sigh. Nagkatinginan ang dalawa kong kapatid.

"Kwento mo na kasi. Kanina ka pa ganyan nang ganyan," sabi ni Kuya Chris. He was leaning casually against his seat, his eyes raking over me in thoughtful scrutiny.

"Relationship problems?" prodded my other brother, taking a small bite from his blueberry cheesecake.

"Nah. Naaalala ko lang si Kuya Jacob. He loves going here to chill. If not Obi kasi, dito tayo." Then I remembered something. "Speaking of which, nagpapansinan na ba kayo?" I asked Kuya Andrei.

"Yes. No. Medyo. Hindi ko alam," kaswal niyang sagot. Nagkibit balikat ito at hindi nagpaliwanag.

Kuya Chris jerked him with an elbow. "'Wag mo nang patagalin 'yan. Alam mo naman 'yon. Mas maarte pa kapag sinusuyo."

"Mag-inarte lang siya. Wala naman akong planong suyuin siya," masungit na sagot ni Kuya Andrei. A rare sight, if you'd ask me. Kuya was quiet but never rude or cold. Lagi lang siyang chill. This was a very rare sight, even for me.

Tatawa sana ako sa sinabi niyang 'yon kung hindi lang ganito ang sitwasyon. I frowned at him, not liking what I heard and feeling guilty at the same time. I couldn't help but blame myself kasi ako naman talaga ang reason kung bakit hindi sila magkasundo ngayon.

I sipped from my juice. "'Wag naman gano'n, Kuya. 'Wag na nating dagdagan yung inis niya. Tsaka, nakita ko kayo nung isang araw. Parang 'di naman kayo magkaaway pero 'yon nga, 'di kayo nagkikibuan."

Kuya Andrei shrugged again, keeping his silence. Knowing he wouldn't talk about it further, Kuya Chris and I dropped the topic.

I sighed in dismay. Well, boys. You can't really force them to do anything. Mapilit mo man, pahirapan pa.

"So much for that," Kuya Chris said, stretching his arms. He peered at me with those teasing unblinking eyes. "Oh, ano? Anong balita sa inyo ni Gutierez?"

Nagulat ako sa tanong niyang 'yon. Nakatitig na rin sa 'kin si Kuya Andrei, hinihintay ang sagot ko.

"Well..." We did text earlier while we were on our way here. Racel's out with his parents right now, probably eating dinner na somewhere in Taguig. "We're good naman. Still the same. Only less secretive and more open this time. I went to his house last time."

"Oy, gago ka, a! Baka sinuko mo na ang alam mo na!" sabi ng magaling kong kapatid sabay kutos sa ulo ko.

I think I even heard choking sounds from Kuya Andrei who looked stupefied at what he heard.

Mortified, I vehemently denied their claims but the accompanying blush certainly didn't help my case.

"Ows?" Kuya Chris said further, squinting his eyes.

"Oo nga! Hindi nga! Stop it, Kuya," I replied, my cheeks hot in both embarrassment and surprise. "Saan mo na naman ba nakuha 'yan? 'Wag mo nga akong ginagaya sa inyo ni Ate Ara."

Humalakhak si Kuya Chris but the tension on my other brother's face didn't ease up. His forehead was crunched in contemplative silence, his eyes boring sharply into mine.

"Umayos ka ha. Malilintikan ka sa 'kin," sabi niya lang sabay baling sa phone niya nang tumunog ito. Tapos, tumingin ulit siya sa 'kin na para bang pinagagalitan ako.

I grimaced. Oo nga pala. De Villa pa rin pala talaga 'tong si Kuya Andrei. Kahit ganyan lang siya ay sobrang protective din pala siya.

The topic ended there but the embarrassment burning in my veins didn't stop. It was one thing that my friends were teasing me about...that, but it's another to hear that from my brothers.

Basta. It sounded wrong. Mali. Mali talaga. Ang awkward.

Fortunately enough, medyo nawala na doon ang iniisip ko nang lumipat kami sa Old Beans. We stayed there for an hour or so, just chilling and talking about random things. Mostly, nagkukwento si Kuya Chris tungkol sa plano niyang mag-propose soon kay Ate Ara. Well, he's young. Only twenty-one. Ewan ko kung papayagan ba siya ni Mom na magpakasal kaagad.

It's probably just a plan for now. But in a way, I felt at peace knowing the fact that kahit papaano, my brother was able to change and was now happily enjoying his relationship. He used to be this terrible relationship-hopper before. It's a good twist of fate talaga na nakilala niya si Ate.

I sighed in contentment, looking at the glorious view displayed in front of us. This felt nice, bonding with them. Us three. Pero hindi ko maiwasang maisip na mas masaya sana ito kung kumpleto kami.

That night, I asked Kuya Chris kung ano ba ang secret recipe para makagawa ng isang healthy relationship.

He said, "Four ingredients lang 'yan."

And as he explained further, he explained: In a relationship, may apat na bagay na dapat maging present para magtagal ang relasyon.

The first one is, love, for obvious reasons. Then commitment, honesty, and faithfulness.

But there's also something else, the most important, the glue that will hold those four together. The very vital part of every relationship whether romantic or platonic.

Trust.

Sa sinabi niyang 'yon, naliwanagan ako and then I knew what I needed to do.

#

That night, I gave in to my conscience. Buong araw akong inaatake ng konsensya ko kaya tinawagan ko na si Racel. Kagagawan din kasi ito ng mga advices na sinabi ni Kuya Chris kanina. Trust, more than love, is the true key to all relationships, sabi niya, at mahalaga daw ang pagiging open and honest sa isa't isa. Tinamaan ako doon syempre kaya I decided to come clean before the day ended.

I was already tucked in bed, my whole body warm under the thick duvet while I waited for him to pick up the call. I was anxious and nervous at the same time. I kept on turning and twisting on the bed habang hinihintay siyang sumagot.

Maybe he was busy. He didn't pick up right away. Racel only answered on my second try.

"Baby," bati niya.

An instant smile broke into my face at the sound of his husky voice.

"Hey," simula ko. "Nakauwi na kayo?"

"Yeah. Kanina pa. I'm in bed now."

I straightened up and moved my phone from my left ear to the other so I could hear him better. "About to sleep? Did I disturb you?"

He chuckled. "Don't be silly. You know you can call anytime. So how was it? Did you have fun with your brothers?"

"Yeah. Nice way to end the summer na rin. And you?"

"Dad is flying back tomorrow. We had a good time."

"I'm glad..." I let my voice trail off. Hindi ko alam kung pano i-bi-bring-up yung tungkol kay Rohann. He was in such a good mood. Sisirain ko ba?

I bit my lip, contemplating, deciding. . .

"So? What do you wanna talk about?" he suddenly said, surprising me.

"What gave you the idea I wanted to talk about something?"

"C'mon, love. It's not as if I don't know you."

I sighed and rubbed my temple. "Busted. Yeah, actually may gusto akong aminin sa 'yo. But please promise me you won't get mad? And please promise me you won't read too much into it?"

"What is it?"

I swallowed, testing the words out in my head.

"Actually . . . kasi . . . kanina . . . " I began, my voice unsure, "Nagpunta si Rohann dito."

He was silent for a moment. "And?"

"And nothing. Wala naman nangyari," sabi ko sabay dagdag, "Actually, meron. I dissed him. But that's it. Nothing else. I just thought you should know."

Racel took a deep breath and told me, "I'm glad you told me. I already know."

Doon ako nagulat at parang nabuhayan ng diwa. "Alam mo na?"

"Yeah, he told me."

"Did you fight? What happened? Did he hurt you?" Bakit 'di mo sinabi sa 'kin na alam mo na? I wanted to ask but didn't say. Ang hypocrite ko naman kung sasabihin ko 'yon.

"It's nothing severe, don't worry," he answered reassuringly.

"You didn't ask me."

"'Cause you weren't telling me. I was waiting for you to bring it up."

Oh, my God. Did he wait all night for this?

"Were you testing me if I'd tell you?" I asked, my throat getting dry. For some reasons, kinakabahan ako at kumakalabog ang dibdib ko.

"No. I was just thinking, you must have a reason why you didn't want to tell me."

"I hope you're not getting this ridiculous idea that I'm keeping him a secret from you. What did he tell you exactly? Did he tell you how I burnt his sorry ass to hell?"

Marahan siyang tumawa. "Nothing like that. More like, he accused me for playing with you. That you were pretty smitten by me. Are you? Smitten by me, I mean?"

My heart skipped a beat. Rohann said that?

Natawa na rin ako. "Sinabi niya 'yon? Well, he wasn't that ignorant after all." Then I took a deep breath, intending to address the elephant in the room. "We need to be more honest and open with each other katulad ngayon, huh? Mahirap na. Baka sa susunod, hindi na katulad ng ngayon. Baka magka-misunderstanding na tayo if we do this again. 'Di pwedeng naghihintayan lang tayo."

"Agreed." I could imagine him nodding his head. "But I'm really glad you told me. To be honest, I was anxious the whole day while wondering if you'd ever bring it up."

My heart squeezed none too lightly. "Sorry. Ayoko kasing sirain yung araw mo kaya hindi ko nasabi kaagad. 'Di na mauulit."

"I'm sorry, too, if it felt like I was testing you. I wasn't. I was just anxious," he said, his voice brimming with apology and sincerity.

God, I loved this boy so much. I shouldn't even have thought of keeping things from him. Buti na lang talaga at hindi. If I didn't open up just now, ano na kaya ang nangyayari sa amin ngayon?

Tama talaga si Kuya. Honesty and trust talaga ang susi sa lahat.

"So no more lies between us? Promise?" I asked Racel.

"No more. Promise, baby," he affirmed and that was that. Yet another lesson we had learned.

Nakakatuwa lang. Talagang marami pa akong 'di alam tungkol sa relationships. Just because I knew the male behavior didn't mean I'd do good in relationships pala. Sa mga panahon na ganito, I was so happy I had the boys to run to just in case I needed some reminders.

I felt so blisfull and relieved right now. Sa sobrang tuwa ko, matapos ang call, agad kong tinext si Kuya Chris.

Me:

Pst. Thanks kanina. Dodged a bullet just now.

Kuya Chris:

What did I do? :p

Me:

Basta. Thanks ulit!

Kuya Chris:

Sige. Pahiram ng Jaguar mo bilang kapalit.

Me:

No way! Stay away from my baby Sleek :p goodnight kuya!

Pero syempre, hindi rin naman niya sinunod ang sinabi kong 'yon. I shouldn't have forgotten to retrieve my keys from him dahil three days after, Kuya Chris stole Sleek and didn't return him until five days later. Tss. Brothers. I'm sure they're the bane of my life. Seryoso.