I was nervous.

Yesterday, the boys finally had me agree to this meeting they had in mind. I wanted to let them meet him, syempre, but knowing how intimidating and unpredictable Kael could be, I hesitated.

The choice was ultimately taken away from me when Racel called and Pierre was quick to ask me, almost sure that he would hear it. Naroon si Alec, kaya kung walang siyang alam tungkol sa 'min ni Racel, now he was aware that I was dating.

I could feel his curious stare burning me from where he sat. I knew he was itching to say something but he held his tongue habang pinipilit ako ni Pierre.

"What did he say?" Racel finally asked, catching up.

I took a deep breath, tossing a glare at Pierre. "They want to see you."

"Right now?"

"Tomorrow morning. Before they fly back to London."

"Why not? Wala akong gagawin."

I opened my mouth to reply but no words came out.

"Kinahihiya mo ba siya?" gatong ni Kael from the other side of the room, sabay halakhak.

Bakit ba kasi narito sa loob ng kwarto ko 'tong tatlo? Why wouldn't they play downstairs? Play NBA or something.

Narinig ni Racel ang sinabi ni Kael at tumawa. He repeated the question, this time with an amused note in his voice. Wala na akong nagawa kundi pumayag sa gusto nila.

That was pretty much how I found myself in the scenario today. Nauna kami sa Alabang, sa Mati's Meat & Bread. Last night, I explained everything to Alec kaya kampante ako that no word would go out. Hindi naman siya mausisa, one good trait I liked about him.

"Text him. Ask him where he is," Pierre told me.

I did just that. A quick reply informed me na malapit na rin siya. Like ten minutes tops.

I was fidgeting. I was a bundle of nerves right now. This may well be meet-the-parents cousins version dahil sobra ang kaba na nararamdaman ko. Kael was pretty much cool about the whole thing, nagawa pa nga akong punahin.

"Calm down, cupcake. We won't eat the guy whole," sabi niya bago ngumisi at lumabas para manigarilyo.

Tumawa lang sina Alec at Pierre.

"Well. He's late. That's not the first impression you want to have," Alec commented, leaning back against the chair in a relaxed posture.

"He's not late. We're early," I corrected. "If only Pierre didn't force us to get out of the house early, he'd be here an hour before us."

Pierre shrugged, nonchalant. "I was bored. I wanted to roam around before we go to the airport."

When Alec called for a restroom break, iniwan ko muna si Pierre sa loob at doon na sa labas naghintay. I couldn't see Kael anywhere so I figured he may had taken a walk.

I bit my lip and anxiously waited outside by the door. Sinulyapan ko si Pierre na bored na nakikinig sa iPod niya. I almost jumped in surprise when arms wrapped around my waist and if it were not for the intoxicating scent of Midnight in Paris, baka nasapak ko na kung sino man 'tong may lakas ng loob na yakapin ako.

"Hey," Racel whispered into my ear. "I hope you're not mad anymore."

I smiled at the husky sound of his voice. "Ikaw, e. Wala lang ako, may iba ka nang kayakap."

"I'm really sorry. Gano'n lang si Claui pero walang meron sa 'min. Believe me. I don't wanna fuck this up and I promise it won't happen again. I'll be more careful next time," he said, the sincerity in his voice clear and plain.

"I believe you naman." I pulled his arms away and turned around to face him. I squeezed his forearms. "A word of warning. The boys are cold. 'Wag mong pansinin kung ano man ang sasabihin nila."

He reassured me with an encouraging smile. "Fire away."

I led him inside. Nandoon na ulit si Alec at nakatutok sa phone niya. Both of them looked up when they finally saw Racel. Tumayo sila at nakipag-kamay.

Hindi naman malamig pero giniginaw ako. Lalo pa nang bumukas ang pinto at narinig kong pumasok na rin si Kael.

"You're late," Kael rifled right away after the five of us sat down.

I threw my cousin daggers and would rebuff him but Racel said immediately, "Sorry. I miscalculated the time."

Kael didn't say anything else so I said, "Order na muna tayo."

Maaga pa naman kaya sandwich lang ang in-order ko but the boys insisted on trying the steak kaya 'yon ang sa kanila. This was my first time to be here, actually, and the only reason we agreed to meet here was because Pierre saw a rave about this on Facebook.

"You understand the reason behind this casual meeting, yeah?" Alec started after we ordered.

Racel nodded, sitting as cool and calm as possible beside me. Under the table, I grabbed his hand to give him my moral support pero mukhang ako pa 'tong pinapakalma niya. He sent me a smile and lightly squeezed my hand.

"Go big or go home crying. It all depends on how you'll be today if we'll permit you to date our cousin or not," Pierre added with the ever so constant brooding look on his face.

I stared at them in incredulity and exasperation. Seriously. Ano ito, interrogation? They might as well put him in an empty room with nothing but a light bulb on. My cousins were practically oozing an intimidating air that meant to scare anyone away.

Racel was unfazed though. He didn't crack under the pressure. Ako ang pinagpapawisan para sa kanya. Feeling ko tuloy ay pinapakilala ko na siya kina Mom and Dad.

"I'll do my best," Racel told them.

Nagkatinginan ang tatlo, parang silently pinag-uusapan kung sino ang magsisimula. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they planned everything out already but I did know better. Their lazy bums would never bother to discuss things like this.

Hinintay na muna namin ang orders namin. I was grateful for Alec's attempts at light small talks. Tinanong niya si Racel sa mga hobbies nito, about sa pamilya nito, maging tungkol sa basketball career. Basically, he was doing all the background checking by himself kaya naman nang dumating na ang pagkain namin, malalim na ang usapan about his school life.

We were only cut off by Pierre's comment about how good the steak tasted. And it smelled great, too, kaya slightly, nagsisi ako na sandwich lang ang kinuha ko.

Racel sliced a portion and dismissive of the three boys, reached out to feed me. Nagulat ako sa ginawa niyang 'yon pero hindi ako nag-comment. I ate what he offered me and my gosh. It was the best thing ever. I enjoyed the juicy taste of the steak in my tongue.

My cousins stared at what he just did. I felt the change in the air and then I knew, magsisimula na sila.

Pierre cleared his throat, his brows drawn together. "Where did you meet Javee?"

Okay. That's easy enough.

"In the bar," simpleng sinabi ni Racel.

"In the bar?" Alec raised his brows. "You love to party?"

"Occasionally, yes."

"Then you must love the booze, the girls," Kael was quick to say. His sharp eyes were like slits as he stared Racel down, meaning for him to cower before him.

I shifted restlessly in my seat, growing more nervous by the second. This was becoming harder. Para kaming nasa land mine at one wrong step lang ay sasabog ang lahat. It felt tuloy like everything, the very foundations of our relationship, depended on this.

Racel darted his eyes into mine and gave out a reassuring smile. "I go there to bond with the boys, not to fish out girls."

"Really now," Kael said sardonically. "So what did you like about Javee?"

"I can't begin to say the reason why I do. I can only say the reasons why I can't not like her," Racel answered confidently. "What's there not to like?"

Mukhang nagustuhan ni Kael ang sagot na 'yon dahil may umusbong na ngiti sa mukha niya.

Yes. Racel was damn good at this! He was handling it well.

"Okay then," Alec started again. "How long have you been liking her?"

Racel paused, his smile widening. "For as long as I could remember, I guess." His eyes cut between me and my cousins. "For as long as I've known her."

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. That's quite a while now. We'd known each other for months.

Kael snorted. "You're saying you're in love with her right from the start?"

"I'm saying I like her even from the start. If you'll ask for something deeper, I'll say I fell for her later on, when I got to know her better."

Fell for her . . .

Kinagat ko ang labi ko.

Hoshet. Alam ba ni Racel ang implication ng mga sinasabi niya? He's saying he's . . . that basically, he's . . .

"So you're in love with her," Pierre concluded, his tone heavy.

Napalunok ako at tumingin nang diretso kay Racel. His eyes were sincere, serious, and meeting mine.

I suddenly forgot how to breathe. Tutok na tutok ako sa isasagot niya.

"Yes," he whispered, meaning for only me to hear. My heart beat quickened into a wild race. Racel turned back to my cousins and said in a louder voice, "I won't answer that. I want her to hear it first."

Yes.

Tumango ang mga pinsan ko at tinanggap ang sagot na 'yon. I was quite sure I was flustered now. Narinig ko ang yes na 'yon. Naghuhuramentado ang sistema ko.

"Then what are you? What exactly are you two?"

My breath caught on my throat for a second. 'Yon din ang tanong ko. I wanted to know the answer to that question, too.

What are we?

Tumingin ulit sa 'kin si Racel. "She sets the pace here. We're taking this slow."

Tumango ulit ang mga pinsan ko. A short silence fell upon us and for a while, yung tunog lang ng mga kubyertos ang naririnig ko. My cheeks were still warm pero kumakalma na ako ngayon.

I set the pace, he said, but what exactly did that entail? Gusto kong malaman kung ano ang iniisip niya, kung saan niya gustong dalhin ito. It takes two to tango. I can't sing this duet alone.

"When are you planning to hit the home base then?" Kael suddenly dropped, his brow raised.

Mortified, I gaped at Kael. Halos maibagsak ko ang baso na hawak ko.

Seryoso ang mukha niya at walang halong biro doon. I darted at Racel again, embarrassed and surprised and . . . holy shit!

Racel's eyes were wide, too, and from neck up to his cheeks, namumula siya. Oh, my gosh. He was embarrassed.

"I-I don't-I haven't-I haven't thought about it yet," he stammered, red coloring his entire face now, then he looked away and faked a cough. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang mag-stutter ng ganito.

"You can never," Pierre said in a serious tone. "Put a ring on her finger first before you try anything funny. I don't ever wanna hear you knocked her up before marriage."

Kung namumula si Racel, malamang ay kamatis na ako ngayon.

Hindi ko na kaya.

I shot my hands up in defense.

"Oh, my god!" I snapped at the boys. "Boys! Nandito ako. Can you please stop talking as if I'm not here? Grabe!"

Kumunot ang noo nilang lahat sa 'kin like they were realizing something for the first time.

"You're right. You shouldn't be here," Alec chirped.

Kael jerked his thumb to the right, pointing to the empty table at the far end of the restaurant. "Do us a favor. C'mon."

My mouth hung open. "You're kidding me. You want me to leave?"

"I'm serious," Kael said without cracking up a smile.

Hoshet. Seryoso nga siya. Tumingin ako kay Racel.

Tumango siya. "It's okay."

Reluctantly and quite grumpily, I rose to my feet and dragged myself over to the rightmost section of the restaurant.

I pouted as I watched them talk in full seriousness. May mga sinasabi sina Kael at Pierre at sumasagot naman si Racel. I had no inkling kung tungkol saan ang mga ito. The expressions on their faces were not forthcoming at all.

They talked for over fifteen minutes. May binulong pa nga si Kael kay Racel na hula ko ay either threat o warning. He was just the type.

I was dying of curiosity and anxiety when they finally stopped talking for a while. Later on, Racel said something. Biglang tumawa si Alec and the mood shifted from thereon. Nakangiti na silang nag-uusap bago nila ako pinatawag ulit.

"What did you talk about?" I asked, brows knitted together, when I sat back again. I eyed them all suspiciously.

"Wala," they answered in unison.

I sulked, annoyed at having been left out. But these are boys and I doubt I could force something out of them.

Men don't always spill

Though it's not the case for all, but some of the males stay true to their cryptic nature. They adhere to the bro code and refuse to tattle even when forced. They back each other even and especially in times of danger. They can keep secrets and don't really like divulging them, lalo na kung masisira nito ang bro code nila, girls ang nagtatanong sa kanila, o tungkol ito sa kanila.

But of course, not everyone is like this.

Some men are also big gossips.

Be warned, ladies, that most of the men can't keep secrets. Studies show modern males tend to blab secrets minutes after it was shared to them. Private information travel fast and wide among them, so be very careful. They are very contradicting in this case. Also, watch out for those kiss and tells. They're everywhere. You don't know what goes on in those guy hang outs and heaven forbid, Facebook chats.

"You're good, bro," Alec remarked after a while. Tapos na silang kumain kaya ako na lang 'tong inuubos ang sandwich ko.

Bro? Wow. Anong nangyari sa loob ng ilang minutes at suddenly close na sila ngayon? Was this a form of acceptance?

"Break her heart and I'll break you, understand?" Kael warned but there was an easy and light look on his face.

"I would never," Racel intoned.

We slipped into a comfortable, easygoing conversation afterward. Nakipagkamay sa kanya si Pierre nang tumayo na kami. Naibsan ang bigat na nararamdaman ko now that they were acting all chummy.

Nakangiti si Racel nang lumabas kaming lima. Mukhang maging siya ay nasiyahan sa naging takbo ng meet-the-cousins.

Dahil afternoon ang flight ng mga Zobels, nagpalipas muna kami sa Alabang Town Center at gumala-gala before Racel drove us to Caviar for our scheduled lunch there.

Nagpaalam sa kanya ang boys, nodding lightly, before disappearing inside the restaurant.

I stayed outside pa muna para makausap siya. Tuwang tuwa ako sa kanya dahil kung ano man ang nangyari within those minutes na magkausap sila, obvious na nakuha niya ang loob ng tatlong 'yon. Pihikan pa naman ang mga 'yon so that was saying a lot.

"Thank you," I told him genuinely.

Affection crossed over his face and he leaned forward, planting a soft, lingering kiss on my cheek.

"I'll call you tonight?"

"Sure. What's your plan for today?"

"I'll head back home. Dad wants to go to the golf course."

I nodded. I was reluctant to let him go pero paparating na ang iba. It wouldn't be good kung mahuhuli kami now of all time.

He kissed my head and embraced me for a long period of time before we pulled apart. Then, I watched him speed away with a light, floating feeling swimming in my chest. Ewan ko ba pero feeling ko ay nasa cloud nine ako ngayon dahil sa sobrang saya.

I was almost skipping when I stepped back inside. Dali-dali kong niyakap ang boys. I thanked them over and over. Ngumiti lang sila, acting all cool about it, but I knew they were glad din.

When the rest of the family arrived, they were puzzled why we were already there.

"We bonded," was the only thing Pierre muttered and that was that.

Bandang ala-una, we rode for the airport. Teary-eyed ako nang niyayakap ko sila isa-isa. I would miss them, all of them, lalo na si baby Rafael.

I kissed my uncles' cheeks and embraced all of my aunts. Halos bugbugin ko ng yakap ang mga pinsan ko na tumatawa lang sa hitsura ko.

My brothers were calmer than me. Words of farewells lang, na kita kita na lang daw sa Facebook at iMessage. Pinagtatawanan nila ako dahil emotional ako. But I couldn't care less.

I'd miss them. It's been too long.

Finally, it was Kael's turn. Hindi katulad ng sa iba, si Kael ang humatak sa 'kin para yakapin ako nang mahigpit.

He whispered into my ear, "When they find out, Jacob will be furious. If he does something funny, tell me. I'll come home right away for you. If I need to deck his face and put a black eye there, so be it. I'm just a vibe away, cheeky Javee."

I warmed at his promise.

"Thank you, Kel," I murmured. "But why not Facebook or Skype?" Tumawa ako.

He pulled away and laughed. "Screw those. I hate social. But remember my words."

Sa totoo lang, hindi naman kami ganoon ka-close talaga ni Kael. We used to be enemies dahil lagi niya akong binubully nung mga bata pa kami at malayo ang loob ko sa kanya. I was closer to the De Villa side and he hated that. Hindi ko rin naman siya maintindihan kasi magkaiba kami ng mga gusto at masyado siyang distant. Lagi tuloy kaming nagtatalo sa tuwing nagkikita kami. Nung kailan lang naman kami naging maayos talaga. It was humbling and rewarding to feel this close bond with him. I felt na nagkaroon ako ng isa pang kakampi, someone who's got my back through and through.

The flight time closed in soon enough and with a bittersweet smile, I sent my family to London again.