I woke up to loud Christmas carols courtesy of Dad. One thing I liked about this season.

Puno ng messages ang phone ko. Mga kanya kanyang texts galing sa mga kaklase, ka-troupe, at kina Lhyle, Ahron, Maxxie, Anjo at Hiromi. Isa isa ko silang nireplyan at binati.

Kuya Onyx: Kiddo, Merry Christmas. Greet the assholes for me.

Kuya Paul: Merry Christmas :)

Mathev: Pst. Merry Christmas!

Gian: Celebrating without us. Tss. Merry Christmas oy

Kuya Nick: Your gift's with me. Dalin ko na lang sa trip. Merry Christmas.

Angelo Gwapo: Jamie V!! Merry Christmas. Enjoy me, I mean the day!! xx

I replied to them, too. Sinabi ko na rin sa mga pinsan ko ang lakad namin sa Fontana bukas. Nag-inat lang ako saglit, then I jumped to my feet na to prepare for the day. It's still early, only around seven a.m, but I could hear the merry singing of my dad downstairs.

Always the young at heart.

I pulled on a simple black turtleneck top, and mom jeans with artsy holes today. Sinuot ko na rin ang paborito kong combat boots to finish the look. When I was satisfied with my outfit, bumaba na ako.

Naka-set up na ang table at naghihintay na doon sina Kuya Travis at Kuya Chris na parehas nakatutok sa cellphone. Sina Mom and Dad naman ay nagkakatuwaan pa sa living room at sumasayaw. Napangisi ako sa kanila.

"Why do you only do that on Christmas? You never do that on your anniversaries," sabi ko habang umuupo sa tabi ni Kuya Chris.

Tumawa si Dad habang iniikot si Mom.

"What do you mean? I do this everyday."

"Everyday," ulit ni Kuya Chris sabay tawa. "You don't. Certainly not when you're fighting."

"Your Dad does. Ito lang naman ang paraang alam niya para makipagbati. Ang mangulit. May pinagmanahan kayo." Mommy laughed in glee nang iikot ulit siya ni Dad. "Kaya kayo, humanap kayo ng mga taong totoong magmamahal sa inyo. Yung kahit magkaaway kayo at sa mga panahong 'di ka niya gano'n kamahal, yung kaya ka pa ring respetuhin."

My jaw dropped at what she said, both surprised and amazed. Nagtawanan ang mga kapatid ko sa sinabi ni Mom. Natigil lang sila sa paglalaro nang magkasabay na lumabas sina Pierre at Kael. Parang nahihiya, umupo na rin sila.

Pierre shot me a glance that seemed to ask, 'What's going on?'

Nagkibitbalikat lang ako.

Ilang minuto kaming naghintay para sa dalawa ko pang kapatid. Bumaba na rin kaagad si Kuya Andrei na mukhang inaantok pa. Bagong ligo ito at amoy na amoy ko ang paborito niyang pabango nang umupo siya sa tabi ko.

"Napuyat, a," biro ni Kuya Chris.

Ngumisi lang si Kuya.

"Wake Jacob up. Baka mamaya pa 'yan," sabi ni Kuya Travis.

Tumingin silang lahat sa 'kin. Napaawang ang bibig ko. What? Bakit ako?

"Ayoko nga. Ikaw ang nakaisip, you do it," sagot ko. "That's the lion den."

Ngumisi si Kuya Travis. "Ikaw ang bunso. Do it."

"But it's Christmas!"

Tumingin si Kuya kay Dad. Tumatawa na sina Kuya Andrei at Kuya Chris.

"Javee, your kuya asked you to do something."

I glared at Kuya Travis. Damn him and his stupid hierarchy. This is Dad's fault. Bata pa lang kami'y tinuro na niya sa amin kung paano sumunod sa mas matanda sa amin. Since Kuya Travis was the eldest, he had power over us four. Paano naman akong bunso? Psh.

I didn't budge, though. I grabbed my phone and dialed the jerk beast's number. Ayaw niyang gumising? Sige siya. Tatawagan ko siya nang tatawagan. I doubt naka-silent ang phone no'n lalo na at pasko. I'm sure he's waiting for his women's calls.

Nakailang tawag ako kay Kuya bago siya sumagot. Aba. Galit pa ito at iritado akong sinabihan na 'wag siyang istorbohin. Si Dad na ang kumausap sa kanya kaya five minutes after, bumaba na rin siya.

He didn't even bother to comb his hair. Parehas sila nitong si Kael na magulo ang itim na buhok.

"Ma, I wanna drop by Geon's place later. Bibigay ko lang ang gift ko kina Tita at Aaron," Kuya Andrei said over breakfast.

"Later, Drei. Magsisimba pa tayo," sabi ni Dad.

"After that, then."

"Gumawa din ako ng fruit cake d'yan. Magdala ka na rin. Send kumare my regards," Mom said, smiling. "Merry Christmas kamo."

I forked the egg and bit it. "Wala ba tayong plans with the others?"

"We have but dinner lang. Pagod pa ang mga 'yon. I figured they'd want to rest," sabi ni Mom sabay tingin kina Pierre at Kael. "You boys? Any plans?"

Kael shook his head, wolfing down his breakfast. "I'll catch a few more sleep."

Pierre agreed. "Same. I feel jet lagged."

After breakfast, nag-ayos na ang boys. Bumalik ako sa kwarto ko para mag-suot ng earrings at relo. Nag-text na rin ako kay Racel at binati siya ng Merry Christmas. Hindi siya sumasagot so I figured baka tulog pa.

Nagsimba kami sa Mary Immaculate Parish. Nangingiti ako sa hitsura nina Kael at Pierre na parang nahihirapan nang intindihin ang misa dahil Filipino 'yon. So their Filipino needed brushing up na talaga. Although they could still speak it, may accent na ito at minsan ay mali na ang grammar nila. They could barely understand the other words, too. It's been too long. Cute.

Pagbalik namin ng bahay, bumalik sa tulog yung tatlo. Umalis na kaagad si Kuya Andrei at sinabayan siya nina Kuya Travis at Kuya Chris na may mga lakad din ngayon.

Since everyone was out today, an idea popped in my mind. Excited akong nagpaalam kina Mom and Dad.

"I'll be going out, too. Balik ako before the dinner or just tell me where you are. Diretso na ako do'n."

Dad raised a brow. "Where are you going?"

"Kina Lhyle ba?" Mom asked.

"Nasa Baguio sila."

"Then who?"

I pouted. "I have other friends, too, you know!"

Tumawa lang silang dalawa at sa huli, pinayagan din ako.

I booked a grab car right away. I also checked my phone and typed my reply to Racel's text. Actually, kanina pa siya sumagot sa 'kin, ngayon ko lang na-reply-an dahil nasa simbahan kami kanina. Mom's rules. No gadgets inside the church.

Me:

Merry Christmas din to your mom. Where you at?

RCG:

Condo pa. I'll visit the house later in the afternoon. You?

Grinning, hindi na ako nag-reply doon. I'd let him think for a while.

It's traffic kaya natagalan ang byahe ko. I'd only been to his condo once pero nakabisado ko kaagad kung paano magpunta doon. Hindi naman 'yon gaano kalayo sa amin kumpara sa condo ni Kuya Andrei na nasa Quezon City pa. It's closer to school though, which made it convenient.

I fiddled with my fingers. Wala akong regalo sa kanya. Hindi ko naman kasi akalain na magkakaayos kami at isa pa, ngayon ko lang din naman nalaman na may chance akong makita siya.

Should I stop by the mall? But it's traffic. At for sure matatagalan ako kahahanap ng gift. Baka hindi ko na siya maabutan.

I opted for food instead. Nagpababa ako sa pinakamalapit na Red Ribbon sa condo niya. From there, nilakad ko na lang.

I was giddy as I entered the building. Actually, muntik na akong hindi papasukin dahil kailangan pa nilang sabihin kay Racel na nandito ako. They got tight security here, I found. So inabot pa ng ilang minuto ng pakikipag-usap. They can't tell him that I was here. Masisira ang element of surprise.

I rejoiced when one of them remembered me. Girlfriend ni Racel ang sinabi niya sa mga kasamahan para ipakilala ako, kaya eventually, pinayagan na ako.

I let that small title pass. Hindi niya ako girlfriend after all but hey, as long as I got to go then 'di na mahalaga 'yon.

I rang the doorbell twice. Bumukas kaagad ang pinto. Racel seemed equal parts confused and surprised to see me when he answered the door.

I grinned at him and jumped into his arms. Binalot ko ang braso ko sa kanyang leeg at mahigpit siyang niyakap. Sinalo niya ako at tumawa. He's really tall kaya halos wala na sa sahig ang mga paa ko.

"Merry Christmas!" I sang.

"Merry Christmas," he responded in a delighted voice. His hands rested on my waist as he held me comfortably in his arms. "I missed you," he murmured.

"Say it again," I breathed, burying my face in his neck.

"I missed you so damn much."

Tumawa ako. "I know," biro ko. "Heard your wish so-Tada!" sabi ko when I pulled apart.

Mirth and affection danced through his eyes. Pinapasok niya ako sa unit niya at kinuha ang cake na dala ko for him.

"Sorry, wala akong gift," nahihiya kong sinabi.

He shook his head, still smiling wide.

"But you do," sabi niya lang bago tumungo sa kitchen at doon nilapag ang cake.

I stood in the hallway, marveling at the paintings lining the walls of his unit. Ngayon ko lang napagmasdan nang maayos ang mga ito dahil the last time I was here, nagmamadali pa akong umuwi.

Natatawa na lang ako kapag naaalala ko 'yon. First time kong malasing at magising sa ibang bahay. My brothers would kill me if they found that out.

"I didn't expect you'd come here," started Racel, walking back to me again. He automatically placed his hands on my waist, grinning down to me. "I was thinking of going to your place."

I cocked my head. "That's risky."

"Mabilisan lang naman. I just wanted to greet you in person. Naunahan mo pala ako."

I grinned back. "You like it?"

"I love it," he responded with a smile.

"I can't stay long though."

"Beggars can't be choosers. I'm content with this. Kumain ka na ba?"

After I nodded, he kissed my head. My body relaxed in that one innocent gesture and I felt all my pressures ebbing away. The urge to stay here all day bloomed in my chest, butterflies twisting in my pit of my stomach, pero hindi naman pwede. My cousins would lash out at me.

"Make yourself at home. I'll just take a quick shower."

I nodded again, careful not to imagine him in his hot birthday suit glory. Habang nag-sho-shower siya, luminga-linga ako sa condo niya, admiring the smooth interior. This one was a real bachelor's pad talaga. It's big, really big for just one person to live in but at the same time not that excessively big. Sakto lang. And everything was white but the furnitures, pati ang sofa, were black. Malaki ang living room niya at planked ng shelves backed against the walls. To the right is his bed room and between the kitchen and the dining table, may puting cabinet-style divider.

Tulad nang dati, konti lang ang mga kagamitan but his shelves were full of pictures, folders and books. Puno rin ng painting ang mga walls sa living room at yung refrigerator naman, may mga angels na naka-magnet doon. There were two pictures of his parents there and a note. Natawa ako nang binasa ko 'yon.

Came here but you're at school pa. You're not eating healthy anak so I went to the grocery for you. Don't be lazy and stock up good food.

Ps. Avoid instant noodles.

- Mom

My chest warmed and I smiled in fascination.

It felt good to see these little details. Nakakatuwang makita na malapit siya sa mom niya, even iyong note na sinasabing 'wag siyang tamarin mag-grocery. Honestly, wala sa hitsura niya 'yon but he's a busy guy. Between basketball, student council, and academics, hindi malabong nakakalimutan niya nga 'yon.

"So you've seen it," entered the smooth baritone, surprising me. I didn't hear his footfalls at all. "Mom loves to do that."

I spun around just in time to see him walk out of the room, wearing just his jeans. Basa ang buhok niya at tumutulo pa. My eyes almost bulged at the sight of his six packs.

Holy fuck. Keep calm and not faint. Patay malisya lang.

"Angels though?" I said, pressing my lips into a smile.

"Mom's as well. Even these paintings, bigay niya."

Racel in his topless glory almost left me breathless. The image of him drying his hair with just his pants on was damn hot for me. Kitang kita ko ang ripples ng muscles niya sa bawat kilos.

I averted my eyes, embarrassed at the direction my thoughts were taking. Fucking shit.

"Magaganda naman, in fairness."

Suddenly, the tiles under my feet were more interesting.

"The impressionist painting, gawa ng favorite painter niya. Fran Celle. A personal friend, I heard. The others, by ZN."

Hm. I'd never heard of these names before. I made a mental note to check them out later when I get home. Careful not to look at him, ginala ko pabalik ang mga mata ko sa paintings na nasa walls niya.

"Gusto ko yung isa. Yung malapit sa pintuan." I was referring to that painting na una kong napansin even nung first time na nagpunta ako dito. Napukaw no'n ang attention ko dahil sa lahat ng paintings dito, 'yon lang ang kakaiba. May silhouette ng couple sa gitna na naglalakad sa isang grey white road na punung-puno ng pink petals at orange leaves. Ang nagustuhan ko doon ay yung kung titignan mo yung dulo ng road, iisipin mong winter dahil grey at blue ang kulay ng background, pati ng shadow ng mga maliit na puno doon. But it wasn't winter dahil sa magkabilang gilid ng couple ay mga makukulay na puno at shrubs. The leaves of the taller trees were pink, depicting what could only be spring. The trees sa malalayo naman ay green, for summer, at sa mas malayo pa ay orange, showing autumn.

At first glance, iisipin mong they were heading to the fall, or was it really toward the cold? The contradicting idea intrigued me kaya nagustuhan ko. It could go both ways, depending on how you look at it. It's genius.

"Ah. A Season's Walk? Kay Fran Celle. If you want it, you can have it."

Umiling ako. "It looks better here on your walls, though."

"Hm," he hummed. "So, are you going to tell me what happened?"

"I told you. I just missed you," sabi ko, hindi pa rin siya nililingon.

"Baby," he called, making me immediately turn to him. Nagulat ako na nakalapit na pala siya sa 'kin. I could feel the warmth he was emanating now from where I stood. "What am I supposed to do when you talk like that? You're in my turf. You don't wanna test my self control." His hands fell on my waist again, pinning me there.

My mind went into overdrive. Bumilis ang paghinga ko.

"What did you call me?" I asked, dazed. "Baby?"

"Yeah?"

Iba talaga kapag galing sa kanya at mas lalong iba kapag personal ko 'tong naririnig. Ilang beses na akong natawag no'n, e. My cousins call me that. Lhyle does. My brothers do, too. Even Dad. Pero hearing it from him, goodness, it's doing things to my stomach.

I cleared my throat in discomfort. "Get a shirt nga. You're too lewd for my eyes."

"And you're not?"

"Excuse me?"

"You don't like this? Those girls like it though." The half boyish grin was back on his face, teasing, playing.

A deep scowl etched on my face instantly. "Then sila na lang dapat ang nagpunta dito."

Kunwaring aalis na ako papunta sa pintuan but he grabbed me, turned me over and pulled me against him. I collided with his bare chest. Ramdam ko ang init ng katawan niya under my palms.

I took a sharp intake of breath.

He wrapped his strong arms around me, pressing me close and warm against his great bod. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. His body is lean and well-toned. Sanay naman ako sa abs at biceps dahil laging naka-topless sina Kuya Jacob but I felt oddly awkward being held by Racel in this way. It's too . . . intimate. My cheeks flamed.

"You're cute when you're jealous," he said with a chuckle, nuzzling my cheek.

Goosebumps spread all over my body. My heart beat paced up even more and I was so nervous na baka he could hear it na. Nanlambot ang tuhod ko but his strong arms kept me from stumbling down.

"You're not cute when you're teasing." I frowned. I could feel his breath fanning my neck. I suppressed a shiver.

He trailed a hand along my cheek, cupping it. "Damn. What I'd give to kiss you again."

The thought made my eyes widen in surprise. Topless. Kissing.

Oh, my God!

Seeing how tensed I was, Racel laughed and pulled away. Jerk!

"Alright. I'll get dressed. Wait here." He kissed me on the cheek before disappearing into his bedroom.

My knees growing weak, I backed against the counter and took deep breaths to recompose myself. What the hell. I didn't think I could get used to this. Bagong bago sa 'kin ito. Kahit na nagka-boyfriend ako dati, hindi naman ganito. The emotions he evoked in me were surreal, bizarre. What I had with Rohann was different. Things were not as fervent as this. Iba. Ibang iba. With Racel, everything felt like a first time.

Habang nagbibihis siya, inasikaso ko ang cake na binili ko. I should keep my mind from drifting to dangerous grounds, okay? Grounds like . . . his smooth abs and warm mouth. Grounds like those firm hands and strong arms and how they felt bloody amazing when they held me.

I cursed inwardly. Damn. Damn talaga!

Pumikit ako, pushing the sinful thoughts out. Grunting, I sliced two pieces from the heart shaped chocolate cake and brought them to the living room.

Umupo ako at inabala ang sarili sa panonood habang hinihintay siya.

He didn't take long. When Racel reemerged from his room, he was already wearing a striped shirt and jeans, the incredible scent of Midnight in Paris following him. Magulo at basa pa rin ang itim niyang buhok. It gave him a laidback image I could swoon over all day.

I could say this over and over but gosh. Every inch of him is gorgeous. I could stare at his well-built figure and not get tired.

Racel smiled and took the seat right beside mine. Sinulyapan niya ang dalawang plato sa table.

"Dapat isa lang ang kinuha mo."

Reflexively, I reached forward and grabbed the towel around his shoulders. Dahan dahan kong tinuyo ang buhok niya gamit 'yon. Hinayaan niya lang ako. Judging by the content look that he wore, mukhang gusto niya ang attention na binibigay ko.

"Ayaw mo ba? Ako naman ang maghuhugas," sabi ko.

He flashed a lazy grin, grabbing my hands to stop my motions. He kissed my palm.

"I want to feed you," he replied playfully. "Or you to feed me. Both."

I squinted at him and using the towel, playfully smacked him in the face. Tease. Asshole.

He released a chuckle, the sweet peals of laughter ringing sweetly in my ears. He sounded so content right now, so at ease, na pati ako ay nahahawa sa saya niya. Hinatak niya ako sa kanya at sinandal sa dibdib niya. I shifted and stayed in his side embrace, reveling in his soft warmth. This, I could get used to. It felt so relaxing. Ibang iba sa mga naramdaman ko nung nakaraan. How contradicting but this was what I felt. I could stay here in his arms forever. It felt like . . . home.

I shuddered at the thought na muntik ko nang pakawalan ito. This was what I'd been denying myself of. I couldn't believe I almost lost it. With a conviction so strong, I told myself na hindi na mauulit 'yon.

Racel took my hand and placed another kiss on my palm. I looked up to him curiously. I could see how happy he was while I looked into his dark hooded eyes. Napangiti ako. I could get lost trying to explore these bottomless orbs. My god. He was really beautiful and he was mine. Everything else just paled in comparison to him. He's the best there is. And mine.

Mine. . .

"I'm glad you're here. Parang ayoko nang umalis."

"I can't stay long," I reminded.

He pecked my nose. "I know. But you're too beautiful, I'm tempted to make you stay."

Napalunok ako. Butterflies had successfully invaded my stomach. Huminga ako nang malalim at pinigilan ang kilig na namumuo sa dibdib ko.

Iniisip ko pa lang kung paano kami napunta dito ay hindi ko pa rin maintindihan. Sino bang mag-aakala na I'd end up like this with Racel Gutierez?

Iniisip ko nga kung kailan at paano kami nagsimulang magbago sa isa't isa. Kung ano ang naging rason para maging ganito. Kasi ako, sinubukan ko namang pigilan. Sinubok kong lumayo, paulit ulit. Pero dito pa rin ako dinala sa kanya kasi paulit ulit din siyang bumabalik. I realized there are things you just can't control and there are things you can't stop. Kasi kapag sinubukan mong itago at pigilan, lalo lang 'yong lalakas.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered.

"You," I said, "us."

That made him smile, a soft tantalizing curve pulling at his lips.

"What about us?"

I tilted my head. "I'm curious lang. When did you start liking me?"

He hummed thoughtfully. Ilang segundo muna niya akong tinitigan bago siya sumagot. "In that bar, after the game."

My brows arched. "Nung nanalo kayo kina Kuya?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I saw you dancing. Doon pa lang, alam ko nang may iba sa 'yo. I was instantly attracted. You were this girl who danced as if you didn't give a damn for anything and I was that mesmerized boy who watched you."

"Out of everyone there? Ako ang napansin mo?" Inabot ko yung cake at sumubo ng slice.

"You were stunning and if you were just paying any attention, you'd know most of the boys then had their eyes on you."

"Oh."

He placed a stray strand of my hair in my ear. "Besides, you really stood out. I remember how simple and decent you looked then. You were different from what I was used to seeing. Unfamiliar, too. It was my first time seeing you. Then, you rejected that boy and saw me. Lalo lang akong na-curious sa 'yo no'n. You casually shrugged me off as if I'm no one. I liked how fierce you were then." He chuckled.

Natawa na rin ako.

"Syempre. Ikaw yung captain ng team na tumalo sa amin, e."

Tumango siya. "When I saw your friend, I knew you were from the rival school. Pero late ko na-realize na De Villa ka pala. I knew from that moment na wala na. Before I could even approach you, rejected na ako." Tumawa ulit siya. "I was so frustrated then."

I forked a slice and raised it up to his lips. He opened his mouth to eat the cake.

"Akala ko wala nang chance na magkita ulit tayo. You don't know how lucky I felt nang makasama kita ulit. I was so curious and being with you, I just couldn't help but like you. I admired how strong you are, the control you have."

"Hindi mo ba sinubukang pigilan? You knew it's dangerous. You didn't try to stop it?"

"I did. Trust me, I did. Pinag-isipan kong mabuti 'to pero wala. Look at me. I'm damn smitten."

I couldn't help the light squeeze in my chest. Hoshet.

He drew a thoughtful air. "It was in Youth Camp, I think. It all started there. I tried to stay away. I held back a lot." He looked at me deeply. "If you didn't blush then, I would've let you go easily but you did. And when I saw how much I affected you, too, I didn't want to stop. I couldn't even if I want to. Naisip ko noon, kung bibigyan mo ako ng chance, I'll fight for you until the end."

Napangiti ako nang bumalik sa 'kin ang lahat ng memories nung Youth Camp. I still have the souvenirs with me. Come to think of it, doon talaga nagsimula ang lahat sa 'kin. I was curious at first. Pero sa Youth Camp, doon nagbago ang tingin ko sa kanya. Doon ako nagkaroon ng crush sa kanya. Then it was a continuous, irreversible ride from then on.

"It won't be easy."

"It wasn't ever easy. But it's fine. Great things never do." He thumbed my lip earnestly, making my stomach flip with all the butterflies fluttering about there.

"Just because I blushed, huh," I said in a wonder.

He grinned. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't have any other way to know how you thought of me. I don't know if I told you this before but you're a tough nut to crack."

Ngumiti ako. "I tried," sabi ko. "I mean, I tried so hard na 'wag magmukhang affected sa 'yo. Ikaw din naman kasi ang hirap basahin. At nung una, nakakairita ka pa." I jolted up, suddenly remembering something. Then I glared at him, hitting him by the shoulder.

He straightened up, surprised and amused at the same time. "What did I do?"

"Dati!" I said. "Sinungitan mo ako dati. You completely ignored me nung nagpunta ako sa Centrex. As in, you pretended I wasn't even there!"

His eyes flashed in recollection and then he chuckled in mirth. "I remember. Trust me, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do then."

"Why? 'Di ka man lang bumati. Napakasuplado. Akala ko ba sa Aftershock pa lang napansin mo na ako?"

His face softened. "Ayoko ng gulo no'n. I knew if I acknowledged you then, I'd want to pursue you. Ayokong magkagulo kayo ng kuya mo. I wanted to spare you. Besides, you hated me then. If only you saw how fiercely you looked at me."

"Syempre. Sinungitan mo nga ako e. Tapos do'n sa Old Beans, you changed. You were taunting me."

"Reading you," he corrected. "I was trying to read your mind. When I found out you were going to be a representative, I realized avoiding you won't work. So I jumped to the chance to get to know you better. It was what I wanted all along anyway. But before that, I fought with myself for a long time. Sobrang nilabanan ko ang sarili ko kaso wala akong napala. I'm still here."

I could relate to that.

I rested my head on his shoulder and took another bite of the cake. I hope . . . I hope tuluy-tuloy na 'to. I hope like in the painting, we were walking toward the fall.

"It wasn't easy coming to this point but we're still here. It must be real," I said my thoughts out loud.

Pinagsalikop niya ang mga daliri namin.

"It is real," Racel said. "And I never believed in destiny-we create our own-but looking back now, I can't help but acknowledge it."

"Oo nga, e. Kasi naman. Sobrang pinaglalapit din talaga tayo."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," sabi niya. "I was thinking a lot yesterday, you know, that maybe you were right. Maybe we should've stayed away. Maybe the hurt would stop and we'd eventually be happy. But if that's the case, I realized I don't want to be happy anymore. I'd rather choose to get hurt with you-by you-than be happy without you."

Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit, hoping that through this one little action, I could make him feel just how important he was to me.

"Me too. Me too." When we parted, I said after a long while, "Don't you find this strange though? This is too unexpected. Sino bang mag-aakala? If you told me months ago na magiging ganito, hindi ako maniniwala, e. Ikaw. Ako. Even now, I still can't believe it."

Tumawa siya doon. Napalingon ako sa kanya dahil umiiling siya na parang may inside joke na siya lang ang nakakaalam.

"Believe me. Ako 'tong hindi makapaniwala. Even now, it feels like a dream." He kissed me full on the lips once, "That you're here," Twice. "That you're mine," Thrice.

I was drunk and reeling by then. I could get addicted to his lips.

"I still can't believe you're mine." He pulled me closer, his hand resting on the small of my back and my head against his chest.

His. I liked that.