Ginugulo pa rin ako ng idea na may past sina Cari at Kuya Travis. The drag race happened a couple of nights ago but it was all I could think about.

My eldest kuya and my favorite influencer?

Truth be told, I'd put Kuya Travis on a pedestal. He's this amazing, nice and goody two shoes brother that I adored so much. The idea that he's had flings before-or even hooked up-sounded so preposterous to me.

I knew for a fact that Kuya never had a girlfriend or anything close after his last. So that only left me with one thing.

Flings.

Wala naman sa hitsura ni Cari na pang gano'n lang. And shit. Hindi ko pa rin makita si Kuya na pwedeng magkagano'n. Kuya Jacob, pwede pa. But not my super clean and super pihikan Kuya Travis. Kung tutuusin, had this been any other, hindi naman ako magtataka nang ganito. Say, Mathev. If it was Mathev, I wouldn't have been this curious. Alam ko naman na hindi siya nagseseryoso. But Kuya Trav wasn't like that, never had been; it was eating me up.

So being curious, I started digging around. I started asking my cousins. Yung pasimpleng tanong lang para hindi nila mahalata that I was snooping. You know boys. They don't tattle much lalo na if aware sila.

I first asked the twins. Tumawa lang sila at hindi ako pinansin. Second was Kuya Onyx, who basically did the same thing. Since busy si Gian kay Zoey at sa parents nila, hindi ko na sila ginulo ng kuya niya.

That meant my last options were my brothers. Which I doubt would talk.

Still, it was worth a try.

Over breakfast, I decided to open up the topic. Kina Kuya Andrei at Kuya Jacob lang naman. The other two left early for their work.

"Do you guys know Cari Ramirez? Yung vlogger? May something ba sila ni Kuya Travis?"

Kuya Jacob's reaction blew me away. His eyes immediately widened and his jaw dropped. Then he turned to Kuya Andrei quickly, surprise playing on his face.

Kuya Andrei looked surprised at the question and cautiously looked at me, as if gauging my thoughts with his ever perceptive eyes.

"Why do you ask?" tanong niya with his guarded tone.

"No reason. Nakita ko kasi sila sa Clark."

Kuya Jacob squinted at me. "Why were you in Clark?"

"Nanood ng race."

"And Cari?" Kuya Andrei asked.

"Nanood din. Kasama niya yung friends niya." I paused, realizing something. "Wait. So kilala n'yo nga siya?"

"Yeah," Kuya Andrei mumbled. He shrugged and grabbed his glass for a drink. Sa tono ng boses niya, parang hindi na siya magsasalita ulit about the topic. His behavior confused me. He was suddenly acting cold, refusing to look at me. Did my brother just indirectly shut me down?

I tried again.

"Mag-ex ba sila?" I asked, pushing my luck. It was a shot in the dark, since hindi madaling makakuha ng information sa kanila. Also, if I know Kuya Andrei, ibang usapan na 'yon. He's rarely mad.

At my question, Kuya Jacob suddenly burst into laughter. Our eyes landed on him. Calming a little, he raised a hand and said, "Don't mind me. But fuck, that's hilarious."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but Kuya Andrei cleared his throat and stole my attention back.

He was still not looking at me. Nakatuon ang atensyon niya sa breakfast. "No. What gave you the idea?"

"Wala. Medyo parang may something lang."

"Oh? What something?" Kuya Jacob prodded, leaning closer. Sumusulyap siya kay Kuya Andrei na tinapunan lang siya ng masamang tingin.

"I don't know. Parang may gano'ng feeling lang."

Tumawa ulit si Kuya Jacob. "You're damn funny, sis."

Sa wakas, tumingin na sa 'kin si Kuya Andrei. His brows were raised in what seemed to be intrigue. But the look disappeared on his face as fast as it came.

"Kung meron man, I wouldn't know. Kuya is not really open about his affairs. Try Kuya Chris," he said quickly, smiled a little, then suddenly stood up to leave us.

Sinundan ko siya with my eyes, wondering what brought on this sudden attitude. Kuya Jacob just snickered and shook his head, throwing weird remarks at me.

Hindi ko na siya pinansin.

***

It was probably coincidence that I saw them later that week when I visited España, Manila. I stayed at the cafe just beside Consuello, waiting for Lhyle. Sabay kaming pupunta kina Hiromi for the usual movie night but my bestfriend was still busy with the girl he was dating. Dapat susunduin niya pa ako sa 'min. But since he'd be coming from here, I decided na dito na lang kami magkita para hindi na out of way.

I was drinking my frappe when someone called my attention. It was Alexa.

Pagtingin ko sa source ng voice, I saw her with Cari and Aaliyah, smiling wide at me. I waved at them.

Hindi na ako nagulat na makita sila dito. Cari was studying here in Consuello and from her blogs, this was her usual spot. 'Di naman sa stalker ako but when I decided to stay here, I was sort of hoping I'd see her today.

"Hey. Can we join you?" bati ni Aaliyah.

I nodded, all smiles.

They took the empty seats and settled their bags. Then Aaliyah excused herself to buy their orders. Biglang tumingin sa 'kin si Alexa with that gentle but curious smile flickering about on her face.

"Javee, right?" I nodded. "How's your brother?"

"Kuya Trav? Ayon. Busy as always."

"No, the other one. Andrei."

My brows raised in surprise. Cari hastily elbowed her friend.

"Alexa," saway niya.

Tumawa lang siya.

"Kuya's good. Kakilala n'yo rin pala siya?"

"Yeah," Cari said, shrugging dismissively.

Something about her action reminded me of Kuya Andrei. What in the world was going on? Was there any bad blood between them?

"Sorry, hindi ko alam."

"Guess he didn't tell you."

"They barely tell me anything."

Right then, Aaliyah went back to join us with their orders. Umupo siya sa tabi ko.

"Tell your asshole brother to leave me alone," she told me.

"Asshole? Si Kuya Andrei?"

"No. That's a minor asshole. I meant the real asshole."

Real asshole? Did she mean Kuya Jacob?

I stared at them then, the pieces finally falling into place.

"Pinopormahan ka ni Kuya Jacob?"

"So that's it. You really don't know what your brothers are up to?"

I shook my head.

"Well, natural lang 'yon," Alexa said.

"I'm just surprised she hasn't seen Cari before."

"We never really met. Wala siya when I went to their house."

My mouth hung open.

"You've been to our house?"

"Yes. Before," Cari replied simply.

Holy shit. Bakit? Paano? What the hell?

I wanted to ask so many things, million questions circling in my head. I think pinormahan ng mga kapatid ko 'tong grupo na 'to kaya ganyan na lang ang involvement nila sa isa't isa. But what in the world? Nadala na si Cari sa bahay at hindi ko man lang nalalaman?

Why would any one of them bring a girl home?

I kneaded my aching head. I really didn't know anything about them, huh?

I decided against digging up more information. Dumating na kasi ang mga hinihintay nila. They invited me to hang out with them but I declined. Dumating na rin si Lhyle. Ahron and Maxxie were already at Hiromi's place kaya sumunod na kami kaagad.

***

"Okay ka na?" Mom asked me.

"Yup," I said, checking myself in the mirror.

I was wearing a black and red cocktail dress paired with black stilettos. As much as I liked dressing up, the thought that high class event ang pupuntahan namin mamaya made me uneasy. This is what I don't like about Decembers. Mahilig mag-party ang mga business friends nina Dad. It was for a cause naman. They were raising funds while doing so, but still. Ayoko lang nagpupunta sa ganito. Lalo na when they start asking for our plans and everything, tapos sasabihin kong wala naman akong plano makisali sa negosyo.

Kaso, heto. Wala naman akong kawala. All of my brothers and cousins were going to be there. Mas awkward kung hindi ako sasama.

Dad drove us to a five-star hotel in Taguig. My brothers were as always teasing me while we sped along the highway. Traffic din kasi, kaya mahaba-haba ang oras nila para tuksuhin ako.

"Mathe told me. Nando'n daw si Luis mamaya," announced Kuya Jacob, looking at me. Sa sinabi niya, nakita kong sinilip ako ni Dad mula sa rearvew mirror.

I gave Kuya a bored look. "So?"

He cackled, sharing grins with Kuya Chris. "Wala. Baka lang kinikilig ka."

I glared at them.

To block them out, I plugged my earphones and enjoyed my music for the rest of the ride. It was past six when we arrived sa hotel. Most of the guests were there. Kumpleto na rin doon ang pamilya nina Kuya Onyx at Kuya Nick. Ang pamilya na lang nina Mathev at Kuya Paul ang hinihintay.

Napangiti ako nang makita kung sino ang katabi ni Gian. It was Zoey, glowing beautiful and stunning, in her gold long back dress. Magkausap sila ni Gian. Tumatawa si Zoey at nakangisi naman ang pinsan ko habang nakikinig sa kanya.

I caught Zoey's eye. Kumaway siya. Ngumiti ako at umupo na sa tabi ni Kuya Jacob.

Ilang minuto lang, dumating na ang pamilya ng kambal. Kasabay nila ang mga Castañedas. Agad kong napansin ang mga pinsan kong kausap si Luis habang tawa nang tawa.

Tumayo si Dad para salubungin sila. Nakipag-kamay din siya kina Mr. and Mrs. Castañeda.

Dahil alam ko na ang susunod na mangyayari, sinikap kong ibaling sa iba ang atensyon ko. No such luck. Laughing like a mad devil, Kuya Jacob pulled me up and brought me toward the elders.

"These are my youngest children. Jacob and Javee," pakilala sa 'min ni Dad.

Ngumiti sa 'min ang mga Castañeda. Nagkatinginan ni Luis. He smiled at me, which I returned with a polite nod.

"Tita, 'yan yung pinsan ko. Yung kinukwento ko sa 'yo," Mathev interrupted with a grin.

"Oh?" Mrs. Castañeda asked. "Ikaw pala 'tong nagugustuhan daw ng anak ko?"

Kasabay ng paglaki ng mga mata ko ang paninita ni Luis sa mama niya.

"Ma! Anong sinasabi mo? Nakakahiya kay Javee at kay Tito!"

"Why? You like her. Nililigawan mo na yata. Syempre gusto kong makipagkilala nang maayos."

"Ma naman. Hindi po. Kay Mathev ka pa naniwala?"

"Oh . . . I thought . . . Since Mathev said . . . " Mrs. Castañeda trailed off, looking confused.

Sabay na tumawa sina Kuya Paul, Kuya Jacob, at Mathev. Nag-init ang pisngi ko sa biglang attention sa 'kin ni Mr. and Mrs. Castañeda, pati na rin ni Dad. Luis was also getting flustered, rubbing his neck.

"Is that true, anak? Nanliligaw pala sa 'yo ang anak nila?" Dad asked me, eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"'Di pa. Malapit na," Kuya Jacob answered instantly, chuckling.

I mustered all my strength to my elbow. Then with one swift motion, I nudged my brother in the ribs. He almost yelped.

"'Wag po kayong maniwala sa kanila. Nagbibiruan lang sila," I told them.

"Well, whatever you kids decide, it's okay. Basta don't rush," Mr. Castañeda told me and Luis.

"But I approve. Kumpare, your daughter is beautiful at bunso pa yata ng mga De Villa. I'm sure my son will take care of her."

Dad just chuckled, obviously uncomfortable. "Let the kids decide. Pero bata pa ang bunso ko. Sana 'wag muna."

After that embarrassing fiasco, bumalik na rin kami sa table. Tumatawa at nagso-sorry sa 'kin si Kuya Jacob pero hindi ko siya pinapansin. Hiyang-hiya ako kay Luis. Nag-sorry naman siya sa 'kin sa nangyari pero parang mas ako nga ang dapat mag-sorry. My cousins were getting out of hand sa mga pranks nila. Damn assholes.

To get a breather, I excused myself.

"Where are you going?" tanong ni Mom.

"Restroom."

Mom nodded. "While you're at it, find Andrei na rin. Kanina pa nagpaalam pero 'di pa bumabalik."

"Sige po."

Finally out of there, I took a deep breath. Gusto kong sumigaw sa sobrang kahihiyan. Grabe. Hindi ko akalain na aasarin ako nang gano'n ng mga 'yon. In front of the parents, no less!

Biglang nag-vibrate ang phone ko. Pulling it out of my pouch, I saw it was from Racel.

RCG:

Didn't know you'd be here.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa nabasa. Holy shit. He was here?

Me:

Where are you?

RCG:

Leftmost part.

Humahataw ang puso ko. Oh, my gosh. Nandito siya. Nandito rin si Kuya Jacob. Sigurado naman akong hindi mag-eeskandalo dito ang kapatid ko pero shit. Masyadong lumiliit ang mundo para sa kanilang dalawa.

But then again, him being here wasn't really that much surprising. The Gutierez family was quite a buzz in the society. Hindi na nga ako magtataka kung magkakilala ba ang mga pamilya namin.

Gingerly, I poked my head out of the door and tried to locate him. He's right. Talaga ngang nandito siya. He was sitting with who seemed to be his parents, looking completely dashing in his coat and tie. Dapper.

Racel shifted and found my eyes. A half smile pulled at the corner of his lips. Ngumiti lang ako pabalik. I showed him my phone then left the area.

We'd better ignore each other and just text. Mahirap na.

Following what Mom instructed, hinanap ko si Kuya Andrei. I found him in the lobby, talking to an all-too-familiar girl. Bob cut. Porcelain skin. Slender figure.

He was talking to Cari Ramirez. I suddenly remembered their reactions at the mention of each other's name. Kuya got so cold; Cari became indifferent. I thought hindi sila magkasundo pero iba ang nakikita ko.

They were talking casually. Like close friends. Chill lang sila parehas at wala kang mapapansin na bad blood between them.

By the second, I was getting more confused.

Lumapit ako sa kanila. Ayoko man silang istorbohin, Mom was already looking for Kuya.

Hearing my footsteps, they both turned to me. Cari immediately broke into smiles upon seeing me. Kuya seemed surprise to see me first before he relaxed and gently smiled back, his dimples showing.

"Mom's looking for you," I told Kuya Andrei. Nakatingin pa rin ako kay Cari na halos kumikinang sa suot niyang itim na halter top dress. Damn. She's really gorgeous. Hindi siya out-of-placed sa tabi ng kapatid kong headturner din sa suot niyang black long sleeves at grey coat.

"Hi. We meet again," Cari greeted me.

"Napapadalas nga," I responded, smiling.

Kuya Andrei cleared his throat. "Cari, this is my sister," he said to her, and then to me, "Jav, this is Cari. My ex-girlfriend."

My jaw dropped, and I looked at him as if he'd grown a tail.

"What? For real?" I blurted out.

"Yes."

Tiningnan ko si Kuya. Tapos si Cari. Him and Cari. Exes. Hoshet, hoshet, hoshet! Kaya pala! Kaya pala gano'n na lang ang reaction niya nang tinanong ko yung kay Kuya Travis. I thought Cari dated him. It was Kuya Andrei pala!

They were exes? When did they date?

Tiningnan ko pa ng ilang segundo ang kapatid ko, trying to read his mind. Amusement flitted through his eyes while they both looked at me. Hindi ako makapaniwala. Kuya's a commitment-phobe. He's a frigging Hook, Line, Sinker. Paanong naging sila ni Cari Ramirez?

Suddenly, I heard Cari chuckle.

"Well. I'll leave you both to talk," sabi niya at nagpaalam na sa 'min.

When she was out of earshot, I rounded on my brother.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?"

Kuya Andrei shrugged. "You never asked."

"When I asked about Kuya Travis and Cari, why didn't you say anything?"

A grin formed on his lips, sending two dimples onto his cheeks. "You didn't ask."

Tumatawa si Kuya nang pumasok ng venue hall. I still couldn't believe it.

I didn't . . . I didn't know na nagka-girlfriend na siya. Hell, I didn't even expect na magkaka-girlfriend siya, ever. And to think it was Cari.

How in the world did that happen?

Nagtataka akong sumunod sa kapatid ko. Badtrip. Wala talaga akong kaalam-alam sa nangyayari sa buhay nila. Pero quits lang. Sa ginagawa ko ngayon, wala na rin silang alam sa 'kin. I'd always been transparent until recently.

Not that it was good. Lying was never good.

The program flowed out smoothly. Bukod sa introductions ng mga pamilyang present ngayon, binanggit din ang mga naglalakihang corporations na tumutulong sa foundation na guests ngayon.

We had a short break after that. Isa-isa nang nilapag ang mga pagkain.

Nakikinig ako sa kwentuhan nina Kuya Travis at Kuya Chris when Mom and Dad suddenly stood up. My breath hitched nang makita kong sina Racel ang sinalubong nila. They were exchanging pleasantries with his parents.

Nanahimik bigla ang mga kapatid ko. Nakita ko ang pananahimik ni Kuya Jacob. Nakakuyom ang mga kamay niya habang matalim na nakatingin doon.

"Don't start," Kuya Travis warned.

"I know."

Nakatingin na sa 'min ang mga pinsan namin, probably watching what's gonna happen next. The worst was about to come. Tinawag kami nina Dad para ipakilala sa mga Gutierez.

Reluctantly, Kuya Jacob stood up to join them. Nakasunod kaming apat sa likod niya. Gusto kong pagsabihan si Kuya. His frown was too much. He's trying hard to contain it but my brother was not doing a very good job. Wild beast talaga.

Racel seemed wary din. He looked guarded lalo na nang lumapit na kaming magkakapatid. He's refusing to look in Kuya Jacob's direction which was for the better. Parang isang kalabit lang kasi, sasabog 'tong kapatid ko sa inis.

"Oh, there they are," Mom said excitedly, referring to us.

Dad smiled and placed his arm around my shoulders. "Kumpadre, mga anak ko. You've met my eldest, Travis. This is Chris, Andrei, and Jacob," Dad said, gesturing to them, and added, "And this is my youngest, Javee."

"Unica hija," Mrs. Gutierez commented with a smile.

Under her scrutiny, parang nailang ako. Natuyo ang lalamunan ko. I was suddenly very self-conscious sa hitsura ko. I plastered my best smile and greeted them.

"Beautiful children," Mr. Gutierez said. I noticed they had the same hooded eyes. "Racel, be a gentleman."

Napalunok ako. Hindi ako makatingin kay Racel dahil alam kong ngiting-ngiti siya ngayon pero dahil kailangan, I was forced to meet his eyes. That familiar sparkle was back in his eyes, more playful this time. The jerk. He was enjoying this.

Racel extended his hand to me. Sobrang awkward dahil naramdaman ko ang pagbabago ng postura ni Kuya Jacob sa gilid ko while I was shaking hands with him.

"Racel," he said, playing along. His dark eyes were almost shining with amusement and laughter.

"Javee."

Floor. Please. Swallow. Me. Whole. Hindi ko matagalan ang pagtingin sa kanya. Natatakot akong makahalata sina Kuya kapag pinatulan ko ang panunukso nitong si Racel.

"You must be protective with this one," Mrs. Gutierez said, directing her motherly smile at me. Right away, nakita ko ang family resemblance nila. Aside from the eyes, Racel inherited every other feature from his mother: same nose, same cheeks, same jaw.

Kaya pala soft ang features niya.

"Sobra. I'm so worried that some other boy might steal her too early," Dad replied.

At that, Racel's smile dropped. Agad siyang tumingin kay Dad. Ha!

"For sure! Hirap din magka-unica hija."

"Sinabi n'yo pa. Her brothers are just as protective. The guys in our family are crazy," Mom said, shaking her head.

They all chuckled, as if sharing a joke lost on us.

"Pero kumare. Bagay sila ng anak ko. My boy is still single and he's nice. If you don't wanna worry about some random boy, maybe we can set them up for a date."

Halos malaglag ang panga ko sa narinig. Gano'n din ang mga kapatid ko sa sobrang gulat. A tiny flicker of surprise passed through Racel's eyes before it quickly disappeared, replaced by silent laughter. If he could, he'd probably grin. Hosheeeet.

"Ma, ano bang sinasabi mo? Kakakilala lang ng dalawang bata," his dad said.

Kung alam n'yo lang po.

Mom clapped her hands, excited. "Actually, that's perfect. Javee, what do you think?"

All eyes zeroed in on me. I tried my hardest not too grimace. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang titig ni Racel. Napayuko ako. I was sure I was blushing by now. Halos pagpawisan na ako kahit malakas ang aircon.

Buti na lang Dad went to my rescue.

"Please 'wag muna. I want to keep her pa," Dad said, making me sigh.

"Sayang naman. Racel seems like a good boy."

"Mom!"

Mom cocked her head, almost pouting. "Unless of course you like that other boy. Louie? Luigi? Luis? I heard you kanina."

I could see Racel's brows lifting at that. I turned to my mom and whispered, "We're not even friends."

"Sure?"

"Mom, please!"

"Alright, alright," sabay tawa.

Nagtawanan din sina Dad, pati parents ni Racel.

My heart was probably beating hundred twenty per minute sa sobrang bilis at lakas ng kabog. I felt like I was exploding. Fortunately, natapos na ang usapan at nabaling sa dinner ang atensyon nila.

I didn't know why my mom was like this. Every chance she gets, nirereto niya ako sa mga anak ng amiga niya. When I asked her once, sabi niya biruan lang naman daw 'yon. Gano'n lang daw sila magbiruang magkakaibigan.

Ilang minuto na ang lumipas. Kuya Jacob was still brooding. Mukhang nasira na ang araw niya.

"What a fucking lucky night," bulong lang niya sa sarili.

Hindi na namin siya masyadong kinibo, baka makadagdag lang kami sa bad mood niya. Instead, my brothers focused on grilling Kuya Andrei about Cari. That was how I found out she was also Angelo's best friend but other than that, nothing was forthcoming. Nothing was ever forthcoming with him. I was just bewildered that he broke the bro code to date his best friend's best friend.

Right after dinner, nagsimula na ang second half ng program. Pinatawag sa stage si Luis at ang mommy niya, parehas silang may dalang violin. With a heart-warming performance, the Castañedas made us fall in love with classical music.

Kahit na nakatuon ako sa stage, hindi ko mapigilang hindi luminga sa left part ng hall. Nahuhuli ko kasing nakatingin sa 'kin si Racel. I even typed a quick text to him, telling him not to stare. The jerk just laughed it off.

Wasn't he afraid to get caught? Ewan ko.

"Anak. You like that Gutierez boy?" Dad suddenly whispered, making me whip toward him. "Kanina ka pa tingin nang tingin sa kanya."

"No, Dad-"

A serious look fell upon his face. "I think he likes you back. Did you know each other before? Wala namang problema kung siya ang gustuhin mo. He seems good but I understand your brothers don't like him?"

Saglit akong napabaling kay Kuya Jacob. He's too engrossed with the performance.

I turned back to Dad. He's looking at me so intently I didn't have the heart to lie straight to his face. "I'm sorry po."

He smiled, the creases around his eyes wrinkling. "It's okay to have a crush but you're still young. In my eyes, you're still this baby girl. 'Wag muna? I'm not ready yet."

Mom suddenly leaned closer and joined our hushed conversation.

"Crush? Who's having a crush?" She turned to me in delight. "You're crushing on someone? Nandito?" Bumaling siya sa mga tao para hanapin kung sino.

"Sino?"

"Wala." Dad chuckled.

Mom mocked a glare at Dad. "Fine. Keep me out of the loop."

I didn't know why Dad didn't tell Mom. But he winked at me and placed his index finger to his lips. That was a gesture of our secret. Our little secret.

I felt relieved kahit papano. Though Dad didn't know the exact picture yet, what he said dispelled all the tension and guilt I was feeling, albeit slight.

I felt like I earned an approval. Sure, it wouldn't justify any of my lies but for now, that was enough.

Little victories.

***

I received a call around ten. From Racel, asking me to meet with him. I initially said no, but thanks to his great persuading powers, I ended up conceding.

Nagpaalam akong lumabas kina Mom. Wala pa rin naman sina Kuya. Gumimik pa sila after ng party kaya pinayagan din akong lumabas muna. Racel wanted to pick me up. I said no. I booked a ride and met him at mall's seaside.

When I spotted him by the sea walls, I could swear my breath stopped. Nakapagpalit na rin siya ng damit. He's wearing a grey sleeveless shirt now and boy did it fit him in the right places. Kitang-kita ang pagiging filled niya, lalo na sa biceps area.

Hindi ko siya kaagad nilapitan. I was struck by this urge to just watch him first. For once, the situation was reversed. Ako naman 'tong pinapanood siya.

He was looking far into the horizon, his dark locks dancing with the wind. Nakapamulsa lang siya habang naghihintay. Several girls were eyeing him. Some even stopped to say hi pero hindi niya pinansin. He didn't even spare a glance.

That was a boost sa confidence ko. He's waiting for me. Me.

Wearing a wide smile, I walked surreptitiously toward him. When I reached him, I tiptoed and tried to cover his eyes with my hand.

He was startled but he soon relaxed. He started chuckling.

"What's this?"

"Guess who."

"You might be surprised at my answer."

"Oh?"

He removed my hands from his eyes and faced me.

"What's the answer ba?" I asked, tilting my head.

"My girl?" Racel said casually like it was the most obvious thing.

I melted at the answer, getting a little weak in the knees. Pero hindi ko pinahalata. I laughed instead.

"I think you're getting cheesier. Where are you getting that?"

"It's true, though. I don't kiss random people, De Villa."

Hearing him say that sent shivers down my spine.

I let out a blow of breath, my heart pounding loud in my ears. Unbelievable. How could he mention that kiss as if gano'n-gano'n na lang 'yon? That kiss almost ruined us. Akala ko nga hindi na kami magiging friends after that. It was fortunate that nothing changed between us. Still, it was never brought up since then. How could he . . . ?

"So do I," was all I said, flustered.

He rumbled with chuckles, pulling me closer to him. I pretended that his touch didn't make my skin tingle. He helped me up the sea walls. Then he sat beside me-me facing the sea, him facing the crowd.

I took a deep breath. "So, why did you call me out?" I began.

"No reason. I actually thought you won't make it."

"You were basically begging me. Pwede bang hindi?"

There was a pause before he said, "Damn. What I'd give to hear a different answer."

I turned to him, raising my brows.

He showed a full boyish grin. "That you came here because you want to see me, too."

Technically, 'yon naman talaga ang main reason but there was no way I'd admit that.

Damn. My stomach was making tiny flips again.

I rolled my eyes. "Like I said earlier, you're getting cheesier by the second, Gutierez."

"It's worth a try," Racel said, letting out a laugh.

We stayed in silence for the next couple of minutes. Tahimik niyang pinapanood ang mga tao sa paligid habang kinakalma ko ang sarili ko. Tumitig ako sa dagat. Asar. Hindi ako makapag-isip nang diretso. He's too damn close to me, the warmth from his arm was seeping right through my clothes.

I drew a deep breath and said in a quieter tone, "Dad saw us kanina. I think he knows."

I could feel his stare. The intense pool of his eyes drank me in completely, waiting for what I was going to say next.

"What did he say?"

"That he's fine with you."

"I finally met the parents, huh?" Racel stated, his thin lips forming his trademark half smirk.

Mabilis akong napatingin sa kanya.

"You look like your dad. But your eyes are definitely from your mom. The color is from him though."

"Sabi nga nila." My cheeks were heating up. The fact that he even noticed made me feel giddy. Akala ko ako lang ang pumapansin sa gano'n

His half smirk grew into a full Gutierez smirk. "Why did you say no to the date? That was a chance."

"Are you crazy? My brother will go ballistic."

That made him go quiet for a second. Then he leveled his gaze back with mine.

"About that Luis . . . " he started. "Nakita ko kayo kanina. Nililigawan ka ba niya?"

"Uy, hindi. Baliw lang talaga sina Kuya. Lakas mang-asar. He's their friend."

He sighed deeply like he was tormented by the thought.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm kinda envious. You have more chances with him than with me. I'm threatened," he admitted.

"Racel Gutierez? Threatened. You're kidding me."

He sighed again. I could hear how weary he was from that alone. Dahil hindi ko alam ang sasabihin, tumahimik na lang ako. He then shifted his position so that he'd be overlooking the sea as well. With his arm, he pulled me closer until our shoulders were touching.

I got conscious of the people that could be looking at us kaya binaba ko pa ang cap na suot n'ya, pati na rin ang suot ko. Hinayaan niya lang ako.

"Let's travel. For Christmas," he said in a distant tone.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Where do you want to go?" I asked kahit na alam kong imposible naman.

He looked down at me. Kinilabutan ako at the handsome grin filling up his face. "Ikaw. Name it. I know your family loves traveling. I want to experience it with you. You go out with friends too, right?"

"All the time. But Christmas is family time. I don't think they'll let me go off on my own."

"Too bad, then." He chuckled. "At least I tried."

"Someday," I promised. "'Pag okay na kayo ni Kuya, maybe we can all hang out together. Someday. You and Kuya as friends. What a concept."

The grin left his face. A contemplative sullen look overshadowed his features.

"Don't count on it," he said with a sigh, causing me to remember something.

"Sorry pala the other day."

"It's fine. I understand. It's better than getting seen."

I gazed at him intently.

"Are you scared of Kuya Travis?" I asked that just to tease him.

"No, but you are," he replied but immediately added, "Actually, I am. I'm scared for you."

I heaved a sigh. "Someday, masasabi ko rin sa kanila yung tungkol sa 'tin."

"Ano ba ang tungkol sa 'tin?" he playfully asked, his smoky eyes looking at me expectantly.

I nudged him with an elbow.

"Friends."

"Friends," he echoed. "Sure. For now."

Ngumisi lang ako kahit na ang totoo, nalulusaw ako sa mga sinasabi niya. Racel was becoming bolder with every passing day. Ewan ko kung saan niya nakukuha ang lakas na magsalita nang ganyan. We both knew it was impossible.

He suddenly grabbed my left hand and laced his fingers with mine. With his free hand, nilabas niya ang phone niya at kinuhanan ng picture ang magkahawak naming kamay.

"Really?" I asked, laughing with incredulity.

"Why not?" He was smirking as he looked at the photo.

"Edit it in black and white. It will look better."

Ayaw niya so I did it for him. I stole his phone and edited the photo myself. Dahil doon, nakita ko rin ang mga photos na nasa phone niya. Konti lang 'yon. Mostly pictures of nature and his family.

Napatitig ako sa family picture nila. They're cute.

Around eleven, Racel insisted to drop me home. I let him. Pag-uwi ko, agad akong dumiretso sa kwarto. Saka ko lang naalala na wala pala akong copy ng picture.

Before I went to sleep, Ahron texted me to check his Instagram.

Heart hammering, I opened my account. Racel uploaded a new photo. It was the picture he took earlier; the snapshot of our hands.

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RacelCGutierez

I'm all about her

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