My uncles wanted a news black out.

Too bad social media was ever made.

The very day after, kumalat na sa Facebook ang pagsugod ng daddy ni Zoey Chen kay Gian. Adding up her sudden drop-out issue, it wasn't hard to put two and two together. Syempre may clue na sila but as long as no one was confirming anything, they were left in the dark.

I'd seen some confessions, though. Mga nagagalit kay Zoey for leeching on my cousin. Pinikot lang daw. Maybe it wasn't even his. But there were also those who voiced out their support, lashing out on my cousin and his playboy attitude.

The rumor was circulating around our social sphere like rapid fire. I received texts from other people we knew, asking about the news. I only answered the texts from my closest friends, the rest I kept hanging as per Mom's instruction. That very night, tumawag sa 'kin sina Anjo, Maxxie at Hiro. While Ahron and Lhyle messaged me.

It astounded me to discover na nakarating na rin kahit kina Angelo. News really do travel fast.

Tazmanian Devil:

I'd say I'm worried but I know you lot. You'll push through. Kaya nyo yan Jamie V ;)

Me:

Crossed fingers!!

Angelo was right. So far, everything was under control. Successful si Tito Osen in keeping the media out of the issue kaya hindi pa pinagkakaguluhan. Usually naman, they wouldn't care about petty stories like this but since Zoey Chen is a popular public figure for being a model, my uncles kept a close watch and tried everything they could to stop articles from getting out.

"Look at this sick fucker. Parang walang nangyari, a?" Kuya Onyx commented with a laugh as we strode into Gian's house. Pa'no ba naman kasi, my closest cousin was currently engaged in the sofa, lazily playing his Wii lang naman. Nakasandal siya while his feet were resting on the table.

Wow. Parang hindi grounded.

"Yo, Gi," bati ko when we approached him.

Taken by surprise, napahinto si Gian sa paglalaro at mabilis na nilingon kami. A half smile crossed his face when he registered us, and he stood up to greet us.

Nag-fist bump sila ni Kuya. Then kami.

"Napabisita kayo?" he asked us.

"Naka-house arrest ka raw, e," reply ni Kuya Onyx, sabay tawa. "Being your most supportive cousin, I wanted to be the first visit."

I grinned, lifting my hand to mock a salute. "Second most supportive cousin here, reporting for duty."

Gian barked a laugh. "Mga baliw."

Actually, I texted Kuya Onyx kaninang umaga para samahan ako today. I wanted to see how Gian was doing kasi, especially since hindi pa rin sila okay ng papa niya. Normally, I would've asked my brothers to go with me but they were preoccupied with something else kanina. Only Kuya Onyx happened to be free today.

Gian went back to his seat. I plopped down on the couch beside him, Kuya Onyx taking the spot from across me. Sumenyas si Gian sa mga house help nila para kumuha ng juice.

Tumingin ako kay Gian. A pang of sadness hit me when I got a steady view of his face.

"I can't believe binugbog ka nang ganito ni Tito. Look at your face," sabi ko.

Gian arched his brows. "This?" Sabay turo sa pisngi. "Hindi si Papa may gawa n'yan. Yung daddy ni Zoey. Ito ang kay Papa." He moved his index to the cut on his lip. "Isang suntok lang naman. Normal sa pamilya."

"But that was one hell of a hit, dude. Didn't know Tito had it in him," sabi ni Kuya Onyx.

Gian smirked at Kuya Onyx. "Saan ba 'ko magmamana? Pero iba yung tatay ni Zoey, amputa."

"Syempre, dad 'yon e. Protective lang siya sa anak niya," I explained.

"We're not even sure if that kid is mine."

"Masasabi mo ba 'yan sa dad niya? Syempre hindi. Beast mode na yung tao."

Gian shrugged. "Actually, I did. Kaya nga nakadalawa."

Just then, his phone lit up. Saglit na nag-type ng reply si Gian before suddenly standing up and grabbing his car keys sa table.

Sinundan ko ng tingin ang galaw niya, sort of surprised and confused at the same time. What the fuck. Sa porma niya, para siyang aalis ng bahay. But he couldn't! Magagalit si Tito!

"Where the fuck are you going? We just got here!" Kuya Onyx complained, echoing what was on my mind.

"Uy, Gi. Bawal ka lumabas," I hastily reminded him.

Gian snorted. "Screw rules. Magkikita kami ni Zoey."

My eyes widened. Tumingin ako kay Kuya Onyx na mukhang nagulat din. Bumaling ulit ako kay Gian na currently inaayos ang itim na earring niya sa kaliwang tainga.

"Pa'no? May number ka niya?" Hindi kasi siya nagse-save ng number ng flings niya.

Gian gave me a look. "It's kinda hard to lose her number if she texts me everyday, don't you think?"

"Texting, nice. I'm surprised." Kuya Onyx stood up to his full height. "You'll meet her after ng nangyari? Is that even okay?"

"We need to talk. I know the baby's not mine. I want to know why she's insisting that it's mine."

Tumayo na rin ako. Sabay kaming naglakad palabas ng bahay nila. When we were in their parking lot, I turned to Gian ulit. Something he said kanina nagged at me.

"How are you so sure," I asked curiously, narrowing my eyes, "na hindi talaga sa 'yo 'yon?"

"Basta." Gian shrugged the question off in a way na parang naiilang siyang sabihin yung reason. "Ano? Sasama ba kayo?"

"Sama 'ko. Mayayari kami 'pag pinaalis ka namin mag-isa," atubiling sagot ko.

"I'm with the princess," Kuya Onyx said with a flippant shrug.

"Tsaka sabay pala ako sa 'yo. Baka takasan mo kami," dagdag ko. Yari kami kay Tito 'pag nagkataon.

Gian snorted a chuckle. "Why would I do that?"

"Basta lang."

Tumingin si Gian kay Kuya Onyx. "Sunod ka na lang, tol?"

"Saan ba?"

"Novaliches."

"Sige."

Pinatunog ni Gian ang Alfa Romeo niya. He opened the door for me muna bago siya sumakay sa kabila. Si Kuya Onyx naman, sa kotse niya pumasok.

In no time, we were pulling out of the parking lot. With his free hand, Gian grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialled a number.

Ilang minuto silang nag-usap ni Zoey about the directions kung saan sila magkikita. It seemed to me na ayaw ni Zoey na puntahan namin siya do'n sa Novaliches, but Gian didn't want to meet her anywhere else. Doon na lang daw, less hassle.

"Sa Nova ba sila nakatira?" I asked him after he dropped the call. We were finally out of Eton and driving along the highway road.

Medyo malayo dito ang Nova, so I'm a bit surprised that he was willing to go out of his way just to see her.

"No. Nando'n siya sa kaibigan niya ngayon. We're going there."

Ah. Kaya pala. That's probably the reason why she didn't want us to go there. Nando'n ang kaibigan niya. I was willing to bet na galit 'yon kay Gian kaya iniiwas niya.

It took us hours before we reached Novaliches, courtesy of the heavy traffic jam. It was around three na nang natunton namin ang bahay.

Halatang nagulat si Zoey nang makita niya kami. Her eyes widened a fraction nang makita ako. I guess she didn't expect company. Her friend, I assume yung owner ng house, was standing beside her. Tama nga ako. By the way her arms were crossed, I could tell she's got bad blood for us. Gian, especially. Sagad ang pag-irap kasi. She's looking at us na parang one wrong move and she'd murder us.

Understandable naman but it unnerved me.

Zoey Chen quietly approached us and nodded by the way of greeting. Napansin kong mas okay na siya ngayon compared to the last time we saw her. She hadn't gained any weight yet pero may kulay na ang mukha niya. Unlike no'ng nakita namin siya ni Lhyle.

I smiled at her while Kuya Onyx nodded back.

Then, she turned to Gian.

Kalmado at hindi mabasa ang expression ni Gian kahit na agarang namula ang pisngi ni Zoey. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. Nanginginig na rin ang kamay niya.

For privacy, Gian steered her to a spot a good distance away from us.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Zoey burst into tears. Nakapamulsa lang si Gian habang pinapanood siya.

I frowned. Such a jerk.

Sumandal ako sa pulang Alfa Romeo habang pinapanood sila, umiiling-iling. Ayoko sanang manood since private moment nila 'to, but I needed to keep an eye just in case may mangyari. Knowing my cousin's temper? Everything is possible.

Kuya Onyx went over to me. Diretso rin ang tingin niya kina Gian. "What an ass. One hug wouldn't hurt."

"I know. He's really an asshole."

Pinanood lang namin sila habang nag-uusap. Iyak nang iyak si Zoey while explaining kay Gian. I didn't know what they were talking about, but my cousin maintained a straight face the entire time. Then finally, he embraced her nang nag-break down ulit si Zoey.

I sighed in relief. Buti na lang. Masama pa naman na sobrang ma-stress out si Zoey especially since first trimester niya.

"Finally, some sense," Kuya Onyx said with a chuckle.

I studied the two. Gian and Zoey actually looked good together. They were young, but they'd make a great family, if only my cousin would stop being an asshole, and for once, start showing his care. Alam ko naman na deep inside may concern siya, ayaw lang ipahalata.

Looking at them made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Medyo weird. I suddenly realized na some time soon, one of us could have a family na. Parang 'di pa nagsi-sink in. The thought that Gian could be a father so soon still weirded me out. But he had to take responsibility. D'yan siya dinala ng mga ginawa niya.

"What if kay Gian talaga yung baby? Paano kaya?" tanong ko kay Kuya absentmindedly.

"Ayaw mo no'n? May pamangkin ka na."

Hm. True. After so many years, magkaka-baby na ulit sa pamilya.

I cocked my head. "'Gian is young though. He made a mistake pero naaawa ako sa galit na makukuha niya kina Tito."

"It's not like we can do anything about it." Kuya Onyx glanced at me. "He needs to take responsibility. That's the least he can do for fucking up. And we're not certain yet if the baby is his."

"Kilala mo naman si Gian. May malaking chance na kanya talaga."

He hummed thoughtfully. "I'd say give the boy some credit. Gian's an ass, but he's not careless."

"Naniniwala ka talaga sa sinasabi niya?"

"No, really." Seryoso ang hitsura ni Kuya Onyx. "I know Gian so I believe him when he says it can't be his. Whatever you may think about us, we do know our boundaries and we practice safety precautions."

At that, I nodded. Gets. After all, playboys who avoid commitments like the plague take certain extra measures to keep their lives hassle-free.

"Still, posible pa rin na kay Gian 'yon," I simply said.

"Yeah, but I won't get my hopes up in case. But if the baby turns out to be his, hopefully that will straighten him up. A baby is different. It will change all of us."

"Kayo rin, dapat matuto na kayo dito. Hinintay n'yo pang umabot sa ganito."

He didn't respond anymore, but he nodded his head.

Isang oras din yatang nag-usap ang dalawa. They ended their conversation with a long hug bago sila naghiwalay.

"So?" I asked when Gian went back to us. Bumalik na si Zoey sa tabi ng kaibigan niya.

"Pumayag na siya sa DNA test. Siya na ang kakausap sa magulang niya."

Oh. that's what they were discussing pala.

In a way, okay na rin pala na tumakas si Gian. Good news naman ang iuuwi niya.

No doubt my uncles would feel relieved. Kasi wala na kaming magiging problema sa DNA testing kung magiging cooperative naman ang side nila.

I patted Gian's back.

He raised a brow. "Problema mo?"

Umiling ako. "Wala. I just thought you're a heartless beast. Seems mali pala ako."

Kuya Onyx laughed out loud but the only response I got from Gian was an incredulous snort.

***

Hinatid ako sa bahay ni Kuya Onyx kinagabihan. Dito na sa Las Piñas dumiretso yung iba since nagsabi si Gian na pass daw muna siya. I think the talk with Zoey drained him. Obvious sa pagkawala niya sa mood. So to give him space, sa 'min na lang nagkita kita ang iba para pag-usapan ang upcoming get-away namin.

Kami-kami lang naman nina Kuya Jacob, the twins, and Kuya Onyx. The elder boys were busy.

"I thought gala na this break. Purnada pa yata," said Mathev, slightly irritated.

"Wag nang umasa. Sa nangyayari, masyadong agaw pansin kung lalabas pa tayo," I told them. "Besides, respect na lang kina Dad at Tito." I heaved a sigh. "'Di pa rin ako maka-get over. Nagbibiruan lang tayo ta's tototohanin n'yo rin pala. Kaya kayo, tumigil na talaga kayo." I especially turned to Kuya Onyx and Kuya Paul, since sila 'tong naririnig kong active recently.

"Tss. I'm clean." Kuya Onyx raised his hands. "Contrary to popular belief, I don't sleep around that much."

Nilingon ko si Kuya Paul. "Ikaw din, Kuya. May Denise ka na. Watch out lang."

"What? Pati ba naman ikaw?" Umiling siya. "'Wag kang nagpapaniwala sa mga 'to. Walang ganyan sa 'min."

"Sana lang, Kuya, seryoso ka talaga," sabi ko.

Ngumiti lang si Kuya Paul.

"Javee." Tumatawa si Mathev. "Bago kami, why not roast Jacob's sorry ass first? Your brother's way worse than all of us combined. Akala ko talaga, siya ang mauuna."

"Tell me about it. Imagine, that Gian boy as a dad? Fucker. Daddy Gian. Nakakagulat pa rin," hirit pa ni Kuya Onyx.

Umakto sila na parang kinikilabutan.

"Whatever the case, matuto na kayo. Be responsible," sagot ko sa kanila.

Tumango lang sila. Yeah, they were goofing around like the usual. Pero may iba na. Parang there's that hanging tension in the air na pilit nilang hindi pinapansin.

I guess worried din sila about the situation, hindi lang nila pinapahalata.

Men act tough

In face of problems, don't expect them to be emotional. They're boys, e. They're not as expressive as girls but they're really not as insensitive as we make them out to be. Minsan, they're trying to act tough lang. Or 'di kaya ay ayaw magpatalo sa problema.

Either way, just because they act carefree doesn't mean they're ignoring the problem. Minsan, ayaw lang nilang magpahalata na may problema sila dahil ayaw nilang magpaliwanag. It could be a pride thing or they just really think na kaya nila. Though the reason why some of them are keeping their mum is because they actually don't want us to worry. You'd be surprised at how sweet and thoughtful men could be. Pero dahil hindi nga sila gano'n ka-expressive or verbal, minsan hindi natin napapansin.

One evening, Dad unexpectedly went home early. Kasabay niya si Kuya Travis. Nanonood kaming magkakapatid ng movie no'n kaya napansin kagad namin ang pag-uwi nila.

The way Dad walked toward us, alam ko nang may mali. He didn't look well. Maputla siya at pinagpapawisan.

Tumayo ako para humalik sa pisngi. Sakto, lumabas si Mom from the kitchen. As soon as she saw him, her eyes widened and she went over to check on him.

"What happened?" tanong ni Mom, frantic.

Kuya Travis opened his mouth to say something, but Dad interrupted him, "Just tired, love."

"You don't look okay, Dad," I pointed out. "Let's go to the hospital."

"Kuya, dapat do'n na kayo dumiretso," sabi naman ni Kuya Jacob. Even Kuya Chris at Kuya Andrei looked concerned.

"Sinabi ko na. Ayaw niya."

"I don't need to go," sabi ni Dad, winawala ang pag-aalala namin. Nagawa pang tumawa. "I'm just getting old."

He said that so lightly anyone could believe him but none of us bought it. Still, wala sa 'min ang umimik.

Inalalayan ni Mom si Dad sa kabilang balikat habang nasa kabila naman si Kuya Travis. Pumoporma na sila papanhik ng hagdan.

Dad was really sweating profusely. Parang may dinaramdam na kung ano.

They were on the third step when Dad suddenly doubled over, gripping his chest in agony. He was groaning in obvious pain. Frantic, we exploded into different activities.

Sumigaw si Mom at lumapit kagad. Tumakbo kami ni Kuya Andrei sa labas para ipahanda ang sasakyan. Sina Kuya Travis, Kuya Chris, at Kuya Jacob ang nagtulong-tulong para buhatin si Dad papasok ng SUV.

Everything happened so quickly, but it felt like eternity.

I didn't remember how we managed to do it, but in just twenty minutes, nasa hospital na kami. Kuya Andrei drove us. Gabi na, almost midnight, kaya wala na masyadong traffic.

Waiting in that hospital hall was the toughest thing I'd ever done in my life. Malakas ang iyak ni Mom but it seemed dull compared to the sound of my skidding heart.

Tahimik lang si Kuya Travis na nakaupo. My three other brothers were by Mom's side, waiting anxiously. While I was all over the place. Palakad-lakad ako at hindi mapakali. Nanginginig ang mga braso at tuhod ko pero ayokong mapirmi. I was crying so hard.

The rest of the family arrived soon enough. Nauna ang pamilya nina Kuya Paul at Mathev. Sunod sina Gian at Kuya Nick. Then sina Kuya Onyx.

Nilapitan ng mga tita ko si Mom. Ang mga tito ko naman, kinausap si Kuya Travis tungkol sa nangyari at ano ang pinagmulan. I overheard Kuya saying it was because of stress. Dinibdib ni Dad ang pag-aaway nina Tito Nicollo at Gian. On top of that, siya rin ang personal na nakipag-usap sa pamilya ni Zoey to appease them. Hindi rin nagustuhan ni Dad ang mga nababasa niya about Gian and Zoey sa social media, kaya lalo pang na-stress. He took the brunt of the situation.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad-lakad. I was shaking so bad. Natatakot ako. Natatakot akong mawala si Dad sa 'min.

A hand suddenly fell on top of my shoulder, stopping me. It was Mathev.

His eyes softened when they met mine. "Uy . . ." malambing niyang pagtawag.

"Mathe," sabi ko, tumutulo ang luha.

"Shh. Come here."

He engulfed me into his embrace. Binaon ko ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya habang hinahaplos niya ang buhok ko. Lalo tuloy akong napaiyak.

"Are we losing Dad?" mahina kong sinabi. I clutched the fabric of his shirt with shaky hands.

"You won't. He'll wake up," he soothed.

I couldn't stop them. Tears kept falling across my cheeks in quick streams. Mathev kept on whispering reassuring words to console me. 'Di nagtagal, lumapit na rin sa 'kin si Tita Pauline para patahanin ako.

My other cousins were quietly sitting in the hall. Ang mga kapatid ko naman, tahimik at parang wala din sa sarili. Kuya Jacob was staring into empty space. Si Kuya Andrei, mukhang malalim ang iniisip. Si Kuya Chris naman, may kausap sa phone. Possibly talking to Ate Ara. He looked as agitated.

Nadaanan ko ng tingin si Gian. Kinakausap siya ng kapatid niya pero hindi siya nakikinig. His face was blank but the shock in his eyes seemed almost tangible. His balled fists were turning white.

He must be blaming himself. He shouldn't. No one was blaming him. This was an accident.

At least, I wanted to tell him that. Pero wala na akong boses na mailabas dahil namamaos ako kaiiyak.

After my uncles finished talking to Kuya Travis, the second chaos started. Sinimulang pagalitan ni Tito Nicollo si Gian, dahilan para mag-away na naman sila ni Tita Geanna at Kuya Nick.

I could see he's very stressed and disappointed right now. He couldn't control it and the only target he could channel it to was his son.

Which was wrong. We were in a crisis now. We needed each other and we should stop blaming and passing the hat.

Walang imik ang pinsan ko. Nakakuyom pa rin ang kamay niya pero nanahimik siya.

My uncles grew tired of the tirade. Kitang-kita sa mukha nila ang sobrang frustration at dismaya sa nangyayari.

"Stop it, Nico. Just stop it," Tito Matthew finally snapped. "Nakakahiya. Gumagawa ka ng eskandalo dito."

"No! This boy should realize what he did to us nang matuto!"

"It's done. Wala nang magagawa ang paninisi mo sa anak mo."

"Wala akong nakakahiyang anak!"

"Papa!" Kuya Nick warned.

"Nicollo! Don't talk about my son in that way!" sigaw ni Tita Geanna.

Nagkagulo na naman. Sigawan. Sisihan. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga sumunod na nangyari. Iyak na kasi ako nang iyak to the point na nilayo na ako ni Kuya Paul sa nangyayaring gulo.

Sa chapel ng hospital kami nag-stay. Saglit na saglit lang, para magdasal. Tapos kinausap ako ni Kuya Paul para pakalmahin. It did little but at least my incessant crying stopped. Nang bumalik kami sa lahat, tahimik na ulit.

Pinaghiwalay na muna yung dalawa. We were scattered around sa hall habang naghihintay.

When the doctor went out, it was already past midnight. Kung tutuusin, sandaling oras lang naman ang lumipas but it felt longer than that. Si Mom ang kumausap sa doctor but I heard bits and pieces of the conversation.

They managed to stabilize Dad but his condition wasn't doing well. His body was very weak and fatigued. He had to be admitted daw para ma-monitor ang progress niya.

So in the next few days, sa hospital kami nag-stay. Of course, my brothers went home. Kami ni Mom mostly ang nagbabantay, but there were days na pinapauwi namin siya at si Kuya Andrei ang pumapalit sa pagbabantay. Sometimes naman si Kuya Jacob. Since Dad was being monitored, mas lalong naging abala sina Kuya Travis at Kuya Chris sa pagtulong sa business.

Dumadalaw ang mga tito at tita ko. Nakailang dalaw din si Ate Ara at ang mga kaibigan ko. Even Angelo dropped by. These days passed like a blur to me. Kahit na gumigising si Dad paminsan-minsan, the idea that we could lose him anytime shook me up. In the face of it, I was cowering.

Napansin na rin ng mga kapatid ko ang kawalan ko ng huwisyo kaya pinilit nila akong lumabas ng hospital at magpahinga sa bahay.

I listened to them and went home, took a nice long shower and tried to sleep. But I couldn't even get a wink kaya bumalik lang din ako sa hospital.

At one point, napagalitan na ako ni Kuya Andrei. Pumagitna lang si Kuya Jacob at sinabihan ako na mag-unwind. Masyado ko daw inii-stress ang sarili ko.

I agreed that I did need that.

In order to clear my thoughts, I went to the first place that came into mind.

Roxas Boulevard.

Habang naroon ako, my head cleared up a bit. I was so sad and upset about everything. My Dad in the hospital; my cousin in a very tight position; my uncles currently fighting because of the situation.

Nagkakagulo sa pamilya and I hated it. I knew I needed to be strong, but that was so hard to do 'pag kada segundo, naaalala ko na nasa hospital si Dad.

It was overwhelming, but all I could do at this point was cry and hope for the best.