I couldn't get his words out of my mind.

What he said, that was a confirmation na, 'di ba? That whatever this was, this thing between us, wasn't unrequited. Gusto niya rin ako katulad ng pagkagusto ko sa kanya. But both of us were willing to stay in the friendship zone.

For different reasons.

Damn. I was so confused. I was at this point where I couldn't do much. Because moving forward or backward would result to the same thing-pain.

"Why aren't you eating your food, Javee?" puna ni Dad, breaking my stupor. As if on cue, the conversation stopped, and five pair of eyes turned to me in curiosity.

Kuya Jacob darted to me. There was a wicked teasing grin on his face.

"Diet?" sabi niya, reaching over the table and helping himself with another serving of rice.

I ignored what he said and turned to my father. "Sorry po. Kumain na po kasi ako kanina."

I filled my glass with orange juice, suddenly feeling conscious sa atensyon nila. I took a slight sip.

Mom furrowed her brows at me. "Eat plenty, Javee. Galing kang rehearsal kanina so you need to eat. You don't need to diet," she scolded.

Kuya Jacob laughed. I scoffed at him in plain disdain.

"I'm not on a diet, Ma," I assured lang at nagsimula nang kumain ulit to shut them off.

After that, the conversation resumed. Dad mostly asked us about our studies and doon nakabawi kaagad ako kay Kuya Jacob. Because he was too damn busy with his ball life, napapabayaan niya na ang subjects niya. Wla pa namang bagsak, but Dad was apprehensive all the same.

"You should learn how to balance your time, Jacob. Sa oras na may ibagsak ka, hihinto ka sa basketball," Dad told him in an authoritative voice.

Kuya pursed his lips into a thin line, suppressing a frown.

Dad then asked Kuya Andrei about his grades naman before shifting to Kuya Chris and Kuya Travis. From there, nalipat na sa business ang usapan namin.

I didn't really know much about our business or how it works, to be honest. Masyado kasing marami at nakakalito. Ang alam ko lang, bukod sa may separate na automotive business si Dad, he's also the chairman of the DV Group, which was a conglomerate housing different subsidiaries.

Hindi ako sure about the specifics but from what I know, sa DV Imports nagtatrabaho si Kuya Travis. He was being groomed and trained as the successor there. Si Kuya Chris naman, sa subsidiary na joint venture ng DV Group at Zobel & Co.

" . . . how's the progress?" Dad continued to ask, his gaze fixed on Kuya Travis.

Kuya Travis sipped from his drink first bago siya sumagot in a polite tone, "Going really well. Binisita ko kahapon yung farm. I think we can start soon."

Tumango si Dad with an approving smile. "You'll be very busy soon then. The competition in the market is tough, 'nak. Kailangan mong bantayan maigi ang bawat proseso. You know we can't afford to lose this one."

"Of course, Dad. I intend to supervise myself."

"Ikaw mismo ang magtitimpla?" Kuya Andrei piped in, sneaking a glance in Kuya Travis' direction. "I saw you the other day. You were testing out different wines."

Tumingin kaming lahat kay Kuya. I was suddenly very interested in the topic. Napukaw ng sinabi ni Kuya Andrei ang atensyon ko. Farm? Wine testing? Hoshet! I didn't know much about business, but this screamed only one thing to me . . .

"Whoa! Am I hearing this right?" nangingiting pasok ko. "Kuya, you're developing a new wine? Tama ba?"

Kuya Travis nodded, a faint smile on his face. "Local, this time around."

I beamed, getting excited for him.

"Ayos. Ibang klase," I praised, awestruck. "No wonder all of you loves wines. Or is it the other way around?" Napangisi ako.

Napuno ng tawanan ang dining room. Nagtanong pa ako ng iba pang mga details tungkol sa new project ni Kuya. Dad was right. Kuya would be very busy soon. Sa Ilocos pa kasi ang vineyard and he'd be hands-on sa buong proseso.

Sa mga panahong ganito, napapaisip din talaga ako about myself. Ibang iba ang buhay ng mga kapatid ko sa 'kin. I got it easy habang sila 'tong naghihirap to keep our businesses running well. I was living nicely from the hard effort of my family.

After dinner, I quickly went upstairs na para magpahinga. My body was sore and aching from all the dance sessions we did kanina. Mabigat ang pakiramdam ko at sumasakit din ang mga braso at binti ko kaya I thought makakatulog kagad ako but no. Hindi ako dinalaw ng antok.

I tried to sleep pero gising na gising ang diwa ko. I thought na-distract na ako ng usapan kanina, but I was wrong. As soon as I went to bed, what Racel said flashed in my mind. Every damn word.

I remembered how intensely he said those . . . how warm his hands had felt against my skin . . .

And that forehead kiss . . . Dayum!

I couldn't forget them. Parang in a loop, paulit-ulit sila sa isip ko. Suddenly, I felt like a high schooler mooning over her crush again. I kept on twisting and turning under my blankets. I even had to bury my face in the pillow to stop the kilig.

What was he doing to me? Hindi naman 'to ang unang beses na nagka-crush ako but this was definitely the first time I felt this way. Naghahalo ang iba't ibang emosyon sa sistema ko. Tuwa, saya, kilig, takot, kaba. Halos lahat. Kahit kay Rohann, hindi ganito.

Kung ngayon na mababaw pa lang ang feelings ko, ganito na. How much more pa kung lumalim ito? Dammit. The idea fascinated and scared me at the same time.

Sa sobrang kakaisip ko, hindi kagad ako nakatulog ng gabing 'yon.

***

The next day, maaga ang dismissal namin dahil walang professor. Free cut. Pero hindi pa muna ako umuwi. Sumunod ulit ako sa rehearsal namin to polish up our routine. Okay naman na kami. Kabisado na namin ang choreo and we were perfectly synchronized already. Pero to avoid mistakes, tuloy pa rin kami sa practice to perfect the dance.

Nando'n na ang troupe when I got in the gym. Lahat kasi sila hindi na pumapasok sa klase para paghandaan ang foundation day. Dapat ako rin but since I missed classes, pinayagan nila akong humabol muna. 'Yon lang, hanggang gabi ako. Kami ng iba pang may na-miss na rehearsals.

Kuya Jim whistled when he spotted me. "Magpalit ka na. Hintayin ka namin," he said.

Kumaway sa 'kin ang iba pang mga members. I waved back and then walked into the rest room to change. Sakto, tapos na ang break nila pagdating ko kaya nakasali kaagad ako sa pagsayaw nila. Dalawang oras din kaming nag-practice, with only few minutes in between as breaks. Nang mag-decide si Kuya Jim na bigyan kami ng one hour break, it was already late in the afternoon.

The group we made quickly dispersed. I stayed around pa muna dahil sumenyas si Kuya na magpahuli kami.

When everyone else was out of the gym, I quirked my brows and looked at him expectantly.

"What's up?" tanong ko.

Umupo siya sa bench at nagpunas ng pawis. "You didn't tell me you're dating Gutierez," he muttered it so suddenly halos natulala ako.

Mortified, nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "What?"

"Nakita ko kayo sa mall."

Parang tambol na humataw ang dibdib ko. Shit.

Kuya put the towel down and scrutinized me. Sa expression ko, gets na niya agad. He took a casual sip from his bottle and nodded at me. "Hindi nila alam 'no?"

Huminga ako nang malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili. Then I looked back to him and shook my head.

"Sabi na, e. Magagalit ang kuya mo 'pag nalaman niya. Why are you dating him anyway?"

"No, not dating." I licked my lips. "We're just . . . hanging out."

"Hanging out, my ass," he said na nagpagulat sa 'kin. Bigla siyang tumawa. "That's not how a man looks at a friend, Javee. Iba yung tingin na 'yon. At sa nakikita ko sa 'yo, you like him back."

What he said made my stomach twist. Alam ko na ang mga sinabi niya. Wala naman siyang sinabi na hindi ko pa alam, but hearing it from another person, from another man no less, felt utterly different. Parang mas na-confirm pa ang lahat ng iniisip ko.

I sighed and looked away. "Doesn't matter, Kuya. We both decided to be just friends anyway."

"Friends for now," he said. "Lalaki ako. Kabisado ko karakas ng mga 'yan. Friends sa ngayon pero 'di yan ang habol n'yan sa 'yo. Trust me, bumibwelo lang 'yan."

I suddenly remembered what Racel said.

As it is now, I'm waiting.

Pa'no kung tama siya? Pa'no kung gano'n nga? No. Ayokong isipin. Alam naman niyang imposible.

Tumingin ako pabalik kay Kuya Jim. Hindi ko sinagot ang sinabi niya. "May kasama ka ba no'n? When you saw us?"

"Pinsan ko lang. Don't worry 'di niya nakita." He sighed. "Look. Liking him is not wrong, okay? Pero keeping this from Jacob. . . Baka kayo ng kuya mo ang magkagulo n'yan."

I chewed on my bottom lip. "I can't tell him. Magagalit lang 'yon."

"Mas magagalit 'yon 'pag siya pa ang nakahuli. Better from your mouth than others."

Something in my stomach churned. May kung anong lamig na bumalot sa puso ko. Yeah, he's right. I shouldn't hide this from them pero natatakot akong sabihan sila. The name of Racel alone was enough to make them go apeshit mad. Hindi sila makikinig sa kahit anong paliwanag ko.

And buti sana kung gano'n lang. They might actually confront Racel for even approaching me. Ayoko naman no'n. Magiging bagong away lang 'yon, and knowing boys, these boys, hindi sila puro satsat. Their fists do the talking for them, and I'd seen how bloody that could get. Kuya Jacob also couldn't afford to get into a fight now, not when the semifinals were ongoing.

The deafening silence between us was interrupted by a sudden shriek from outside the gym. Sumunod ang sigawan ng mga babae.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Kuya Jim. Then we rushed out to see the commotion. A group of nursing students were crowding the halls. Puro mga babae. Napansin ko na nando'n din sina Nami, Janella at Pauline, nanonood sa gilid. They gestured to us.

Lumapit kami to check what was happening.

"Anong meron?" Kuya Jim asked them.

Janella whispered, "Nag-aaway sina Zoey at Queencel."

"Bakit daw?"

"Because of a guy, I think," dagdag pa ni Nami. "Nakakahiya. Mga college princesses pa naman."

I roamed my eyes around and found the two girls they were talking about. 'Di ko sila kilala pero 'di mahirap na malaman kung sino sila sa mga babaeng nakakalat sa hallway. Sila lang kasi ang magulo na ang hitsura.

Nagkagulo ulit nang sumugod yung isang babae. Matangkad siya kaya napuruhan niya ang petite na babaeng sinugod niya. Mabilis na dumalo ang mga nakapaligid para paghiwalayin sila. Tumakbo na si Kuya Jim para makiharang din. Dapat ako rin. Responsibilidad ko 'yon bilang student council member, but he stopped me. Siya na lang daw muna.

I let him na rin. May mga iilang officers from the College of Nursing SC na nando'n na. Ayoko muna makialam, but I still stayed in the sidelines, just in case.

There were some exchanges of profanities. The tall girl was already disheveled. Namumula ang mukha niya sa galit habang inaayos ang buhok niya at uniform. While the other one remained composed kahit na may iilan nang pulang marka sa pisngi.

"I told you to stay away from him! Why are you still flirting with him?" sigaw ng matangkad na babaeng may mahabang buhok. She looks Chinese dahil singkit na singkit ang mga mata niya.

"Really, Chen? You're that desperate?" sabi naman ng petite na babae na kaaway niya. Kahit naka-uniform siya, kitang-kita ko ang sexy figure niya. She remained unfazed, staring at the other girl with narrowed eyes. "He doesn't want you, okay? You're just a stupid one night stand he discarded easily! Tigil mo na ang kakahabol mo. Ang cheap!"

"No, we're not. We're more than that!"

"Ilusyonada!"

"Anong sinabi mo?!"

Umambang susugod ulit yung chinita pero agad siyang napigilan ng mga kaibigan niya. However, the other girl ran toward her to grab her hair. Nakawala siya sa mga humaharang. But Kuya Jim was quick on his feet. He blocked her using his body, dahilan para tumama ang matutulis na kuko niya sa pisngi niya. Kuya cursed while he was trying to hold her down.

Nagsisigawan na ang mga kaibigan ng dalawa, asking them to stop. Pero parang walang naririnig, patuloy ang away nila. Kahit ang mga officers nahihirapan nang sitahin sila. A few students had rushed away to call the professors.

Napakunot ang noo ko sa nangyayari. Grabe. It was bad enough that they were fighting. It was worse because it was over a guy.

"You just can't keep away from him, huh? Layuan mo siya! Stop getting in between us!" The girl called Chen said.

"Ikaw ang lumayo kay Gian. Ikaw ang malandi! He's mine, you hear me? Sa 'kin lang! So don't you dare bring your slut face anywhere near him!"

Gian? Wait, what? Our Gian?

Nagkagulo ulit. Nabubulabog na ang ibang mga estudyante. We were attracting a bigger crowd. I took that as my cue to step in and stop them. Nang makita ako, parehas huminto ang dalawa at namutla. Judging from their expressions, mukhang nakilala nila kung sino ako. As a student council member or Gian's cousin, I didn't know.

"Tama na. Nakakagulo na kayo sa ibang klase," I said calmly. "And this is really unbecoming, girls. Let's not fight over some guy. It's not worth it."

Gusto ko sanang sabihin sa kanila na balewala ang pag-aaway nila. It wouldn't bring Gian back to any of them. He's not the type to date women twice. I was ashamed to admit that he was an asshole.

"'Wag ako ang pagsabihan mo," sabi ng petite na girl. "'Yang si Zoey. Malandi na, cheap pa. She's a fucking slut!"

"Hindi ako magkakaganito kung hindi mo inaahas si Gian!"

Sa wakas, may dumating nang professor. Namumula at galit na galit pa rin ang dalawa kahit nang dalhin na sila sa office for sanctioning. Swerte nila if violation lang ang makukuha nila. Sobrang strict pa naman sa discipline ang Intersci. Especially since may physical fight nang involved.

The crowd finally thinned until kami na lang nina Kuya, Nami, Janella, at Pauline ang natira.

"I'm betting my life, pinsan mo ang pinag-aagawan ng dalawang 'yon," Kuya Jim said as he walked toward me, his hand nursing his cheek. Mapula na ang kalmot sa kanya. "Shit. That girl can claw. Ang tindi. Sa'n nakilala ng pinsan mo 'yon?"

Umiling ako, sighing. Alam ko naman na kilala ang mga pinsan ko dito sa Intersci pero ngayon pa lang ako nakakita ng legit na away na sila mismo ang dahilan. Madalas naririnig ko lang sa balita. Mas lalo akong nahiya dahil sa nangyari.

"Punta ka ng clinic, Kuya. Patingin mo na 'yan," Nami suggested.

"'Di na. May band-aid ako d'yan." Sumipol pa si Kuya Jim. "Iba na talaga ang sikat 'no? Pinag-aagawan na lang," pailing-iling pa na sabi niya.

I sighed in shame. "Nakakahiya."

"Pagsabihan mo na lang."

Dumiretso na kami sa labas para mag-late lunch. I tried to dismiss what just happened pero what in the world? Something in the back of my mind nagged at me that it wasn't the last of it.

***

Mas lalo pang naging busy sa mga sumunod na araw. Tinatapos na kasi ang final preparations for the foundation day kaya mas hectic na. Buti na lang natapos na ang dance rehearsals namin kaya lumuwag ang sched ko kahit slight lang.

During those days, Racel kept in touch. We texted a few times, pero saglit lang. I think he's been busy too with his training and basketball matches. I admit, kinilig ako sa effort niya. Imagine, busy na siya pero may oras pa siya for me. Kahit sino naman siguro kikiligin sa gano'n 'di ba?

"Pwede ba tayong manood? Baka palabasin lang tayo," Lhyle crowed from beside me.

"'Di yan. Kasama natin si Ahron," I said with a grin. "We can say we're just checking the practice. Gano'n."

Ngayon kasi ang final rehearsal para sa fashion contest na sinalihan ni Hiromi. To support her, Lhyle, Ahron, and I were on our way to the auditorium to cheer for her. Kami lang muna for now since busy sa project si Maxxie. While si Anjo naman, may klase.

We sat in the front seats of the auditorium. Hiro smiled when she caught sight of us.

"I think mananalo si H dito," I said quietly. "Have you seen yung gown na susuotin niya? Super cool."

Plus the fact na blooming ngayon si Hiro. There's something different with her smile e. Iba e. She's literally glowing. Obvious na inspired. Maybe she's dating someone? 'Yon kasi ang hitsura ng babae when she's in love with someone. There's just that air of happiness around her.

"Don't underestimate Cynthia. Magaling din 'yon," Ahron replied, pointing to the tallest girl in the left side of the stage.

Hm. Oo nga. Maganda yung Cynthia at may figure. But nah. I trust Hiromi. I knew she'd win it.

Nasa kalagitnaan kami ng panonood when Ahron suddenly leaned closer to my side. Siniko niya ako to get my attention.

She said in a hush, "You went out the other day. Sinong kasama mo?"

I tried to focus on the contestants up the stage. Nagpa-practice sila ng group performance nila. "I think you know na, babe," sagot ko in my best low voice. Ayokong marinig ni Lhyle ang usapan namin.

Ahron took a while to answer. "Jan, gulo 'yan. Do you even know what you're getting into?"

Yes. No. Ugh.

Natahimik ako for a full minute. I expected this, that she was going to bring it up. Pero mahirap pa rin kapag nasa sitwasyon ka na. Nakaka-blangko. What more kung si Lhyle na ang kumausap sa 'kin? But he hadn't yet.

"Well?" Ahron urged.

"I can't help it. . ." I finally said, this time looking at my knees.

"You like him." That wasn't a question but a statement. Syempre, what to expect from Ahron. Of course she'd notice. She's my bestfriend for a reason.

"Sinubukan ko naman, babe. I tried to stop naman pero wala, e?"

She took a breath, her serious brown eyes staying on me. "Does he know? What does he want from you?"

"Wala. Just friendship."

She gave a silent snort. Like Kuya Jim, she found the idea too ridiculous.

"Totoo nga, babe," giit ko.

Ahron shrugged, bringing her gaze to the stage. "Matanda ka na. I believe alam mo na ang ginagawa mo. Don't get hurt," she told me.

And that's it. 'Yon lang ang sinabi niya hanggang sa mapansin kami ni Lhyle. We stayed there for a while, just watching the dry run of the pageant until we decided to leave. May klase na kasi sina Ahron at Lhyle. Ako naman mamaya pang hapon.

Paglabas namin ng auditorium, may nakasalubong kaming group of guys na papunta sa cafeteria. The tallest of the bunch immediately stopped when he saw me, his face brightening up. Then he told his friends na mauna na.

Kuya Onyx approached us with a small cool smile.

"Dude," bati niya kay Lhyle, sabay fist bump. Then he nodded at Ahron by way of greeting and hugged me after.

"Where you off to?" Kuya Onyx asked, yung chinito eye smile niya still on his face.

"Babalik na ng klase," simpleng sagot ni Lhyle.

Kuya glanced at the auditorium. "Ah, galing kayong audi?"

"Yup," I answered. "We checked in on Hiro."

"Right. The pageant," he said as if he just remembered. Then he added, "May klase ka pa ba?"

Umiling ako. "Mamaya pang two."

"Cool. Let's eat lunch. Sabayan mo na 'ko." Humarap siya kina Ahron at Lhyle. "Kayo?"

Ahron waved her hand dismissively. "Kayo na lang."

"May klase din ako," Lhyle told him, and then to me, "Text ka na lang kung sasabay ka pauwi."

I nodded. When they disappeared out of view, inakbayan ako ni Kuya Onyx. His mischievous grin was suddenly on his face habang dinadala ako sa parking lot. Hm. I guess wala na siyang balak kumain within the campus.

"What's up, pinsan?" tanong niya lightheartedly.

I suddenly remembered about that fight between Queencel and Zoey Chen. So I told him about it. He seemed surprised at the news.

"Nakakahiya. Si Gian yata ang cause no'n. Hindi ba pwedeng maging one-woman man na lang kayo? Aren't you tired of the free and liberated lifestyle yet?" I ranted to him.

"Hey, easy lang. I can't speak for the rest but I'm definitely not as bad as you make me out to be. Besides, I don't like complications too. From the start, kinaklaro ko na 'yon. All the girls I've been with knew that and I always make sure we want the same thing before I start anything. It's all casual and consensual fun, you get me? I'm not that cruel, you know."

"Ikaw siguro. E si Gian? He's definitely an asshole. Be a good example kasi. Dahil sa inyo, natatakot na 'kong magkarelasyon. It feels like all guys aren't ready for relationships anymore."

Malapit na kami sa parking lot. Natatanaw ko na ang kotse niya and the tall frame of the guy leaning beside it. Kasabay yata namin si Mathev ngayon because he looked like he was waiting for us. Nakatingin siya sa relo niya kaya hindi pa niya kami nakikita.

"Nah, not all boys. Just some," Kuya Onyx continued. "It's just a matter of finding the right match for you."

I snorted. "Like finding needles in a haystack. Ah, basta. I stand by my stance. Dial down your escapades, kahit para sa 'kin na lang. I'm a girl and I don't like hearing na you boys broke someone's heart again."

"I don't know why you think I'm so heartless. We're not even as wild as you think we are. Who's feeding you all the wrong info, huh?"

I made face. "Not as wild daw. Really, huh? I don't believe you. You're lying to me right now."

Tumawa siya. "I swear. I'm really not that bad."

Hindi ako naniniwala. Alam ko kasi na Kuya Onyx is a Silent Killer, according to his friends I met before. He could deny it but I was convinced he was one after two of his close friends fell in love with him.

Silent Killer.

Killers are deadly. They are discreet and careful in everything they do. Calculative even. Lahat ng ginagawa nila ay may rason, but the ultimate goal is to steal your heart. You must remember that Killers move secretly, silently. They are charming and sweet. They'll lure you in. Slowly. Take the bait and you're dead. 'Di mo alam ay nahuhulog ka na pala. 'Di mo pansin, nahuli ka na pala. These guys are confident, oozing of appeal pero walang hint of kalandian so you won't realize na ikaw na pala ang game nila. The thing is, Killers will make you love them by doing subtle things, and ikaw, clueless, ay mahuhulog naman.

How do they do it? That's the tricky part. Killers are damn flexible. Either they'll give too little to make you want them, make you beg for more, or they'll give their all to completely lure you. Anything just to get you. Ang twist lang, all of these can happen without you knowing kasi tahimik pero matinik ang style nila.

They can come in the form of a friend, colleague, acquaintance. Name it. You'll trust them and end up falling for them. Bottomline? Dahil mabagal ang proseso na ito, mas mahirap mag-move on because you're too invested.

They're like Sinkers in some aspects. Ang main difference lang is Killers give effort and time in luring you. Sinkers, however, do nothing. You fall on your own.

Remembering that, napaisip tuloy ako. What if Racel is a Silent Killer too? Parang gano'n kasi ang dating ng mga ginagawa niya ngayon. Parehas sila ng galawan ni Kuya Onyx.

But then again, I knew very little about him.

"Yo." Mathev straightened up nang makalapit kami. A soft frown reached his lips. "Ang tagal n'yo. Parang ang layo ng parking."

"Stop whining. Pasalamat ka nga pinuntahan ka pa," Kuya Onyx retorted.

Mathev just snorted. Tumango lang siya sa 'kin at pumasok na sa sasakyan when it unlocked.

In no time, we were on the road to UPTC. Kanina pa may ka-text 'tong si Kuya Onyx, so I figured baka may kikitain siya sa doon.

We ate in one of the restaurants there. Pagpasok pa lang namin, may napansin na agad ako.

Something was weird here. Napansin ko kasing the girls were shooting quick glances sa kung saan. As if on reflex, ginala ko ang paningin ko. Bago ko pa man makita, naglakad na si Kuya Onyx sa direction na tinitingnan ng mga babae.

Kita mo nga naman, o. Sitting in the far end corner was my brother pala. Si Kuya Andrei. Mag-isa lang siya do'n at mukhang may hinihintay. Lumapit sa kanya si Kuya Onyx at binati siya. Then tinuro niya kami. Kuya Andrei whipped his head toward us, smiled coolly, and waved.

Mathev and I padded toward him. Si Kuya Andrei siguro ang kanina pa ka-text ni Kuya Onyx.

"Why are you out here alone?" tanong ko agad when we got near.

"Waiting for my friends," Kuya Andrei answered casually. He was wearing a green and blue jacket over a white shirt, pants and black rubber shoes. Simple lang, but the girls kept shooting moon eyes at him.

"Sina Geon?" tanong ni Mathev.

"Yeah. And the others. Birthday ngayon ni Aimee."

"Oh. Then dapat sa ibang table na lang kami?"

"Ayos lang," Kuya smiled. "They're going to be late anyway."

My mouth turned into 'o'. Umupo ako sa tabi niya habang sa tapat namin umupo yung dalawa. We ordered right away.

Later on, dumating na si Angelo. The entire place almost felt his arrival dahil maraming naglingunan sa kanya.

Dayum. No one could ever deny the pull of this guy. Several eyes still followed him as he strode toward us with a dimpled grin on his face. Mukhang wala din siyang klase dahil nakasuot siya ng simpleng blue shirt na kumapit sa toned arms niya. Bonus pa na he paired it with a casual jogger pants and sneakers.

He looked pleasantly surprised to see us.

"Jamie V," nakangiting sabi niya bago binati ang iba.

Kuya Andrei nodded back. "Sina Steel?"

"On his way. Susunduin pa niya si Aimz."

Since walang extra chair sa table namin, naghanap pa si Angelo ng bakante. Hindi na rin naman siya nahirapan. Yung mga babae sa likod namin, agad na in-offer yung isang empty chair para ibigay sa kanya.

"Thanks, ladies," Angelo told them with a friendly smile, which made them blush.

Angelo positioned his chair right beside mine.

"Galawang breezy, man," Kuya Onyx commented with a snicker.

Looking at him this close, it suddenly occurred to me how much I missed this guy. Although nag-uusap kami sa text, nung Youth Camp pa talaga ang pinakamatinong pagkikita namin, and that was a long while na rin. Wala naman masyadong nagbago sa kanya. Same old, pero mas kapansin-pansin na ang pamumula ng pisngi niya. Like he'd stayed out under the sun for too long these past few weeks. He was still mestizo though.

"You missed me?" Angelo said with a disarming grin.

Napangisi ako. "You're still the same. So overly confident pa rin."

"Yeah, like you," he teased. "So ganda pa rin."

Kuya Andrei cleared his throat to interrupt us. Natawa lang kami parehas habang tingin nang tingin sa'ming dalawa sina Mathev at Kuya Onyx. Pano kasi, ngayon lang nila kami nakitang magkasama. Maybe they were also surprised na we knew each other.

When our food came, the boys fell into a casual conversation.

"Baguio? Anong meron do'n?" I asked out of the blue when they mentioned it.

All eyes turned to me.

"Sama ka?" Mathev asked me.

"Ano muna gagawin n'yo do'n?"

"May gig lang kami."

"Ang layo naman! When ba?"

"Next Tuesday."

"You should go, Jamie V," Angelo said. "Ta's let's go to Sagada after."

"Can't. I have classes," sagot ko.

"Si Jacob din daw may lakad," Kuya Onyx said. "Pati si Gian din, 'di sasama. Pinapadala raw silang magkapatid sa Negros para sa planta nila."

"I thought ayaw ni Gian sa business?" I asked in surprise.

Like me and Kuya Jacob kasi, ayaw din ni Gian sa business. Matagal silang nag-away ng dad niya about it until finally, Tito Nicollo conceded. Ang ending tuloy, si Kuya Nick ang sumalo ng lahat.

But if Gian was coming with him to Negros, he must've changed his mind?

"May magagawa ba siya e takot naman siya kay Tito." Mathev chuckled. "Itatapon sa Germany 'yon, 'pag 'di siya tumino."

The conversation continued like that. Nakikinig lang ako. At some point, may naramdaman akong nakatingin sa'kin.

I ended up turning and meeting Angelo's deep gaze. He was staring at me, his chin resting on his hand as if he was observing me. A crooked grin slowly danced on his lips.

"I finally saw you again after a while, huh," sabi niya in a light, cheery tone. Angelo straightened up, his eyes bright with mirth. "You've been great? You look better than you were the last time I saw you. Although you got slimmer yata?"

I absentmindedly touched my cheeks. "Must be the rehearsals."

"What rehearsals?"

"Dance. Kasali ako sa dance troupe."

"Ah, so that's why. Naks naman, you're a dancer pala. Impressive."

"Easy-han n'yo lang. Baka magkatuluyan kayo," Kuya Onyx interrupted with a whistle.

Kumunot ang noo ni Mathev. "Dude, don't tell me you like Javee?"

"Why not? Kesa mapunta pa sa ibang 'di natin kilala," sagot ni Kuya Onyx sa kanya. Kuya Andrei didn't say anything to that, but I felt his eyes linger on me and Angelo for a while.

Natatawang umiling si Angelo at naramdaman ko ang pag-akbay niya.

"She's just tropa, dude. Walong talo-talo."

"Good," sagot ni Mathev, sabay ngisi. "Amasona 'yan e, just a heads up. Kawawa ka naman."

Lokong 'to. Frowning at him, I kicked his foot under the table. Mathev only smirked at me.

After lunch, dumating na ang mga hinihintay ni Kuya Andrei. I recognized the guys vaguely. Sila yung laging kasama ni Kuya Andrei sa travels niya, hindi ko lang maalala yung names. There was also a tall girl with them. Morena, cute, at magaling pumorma. She's wearing a dress matched with a jacket and sneakers. Siya na siguro si Aimee.

Nang makalapit na sila, tumayo agad si Kuya Andrei at Angelo para bumati. Then they hugged Aimee and greeted her a happy birthday. Tumayo na rin kami nina Mathev at Kuya Onyx para makibati na rin bago magpaalam na mauuna na kami.

There was a brief exchange of pleasantries and then we were on our way out of the restaurant na.

We were on the way to the parking when my eyes caught a group of familiar boys. Napansin din yata ng mga pinsan ko dahil huminto rin sila.

Shit. What were they doing here?

Agad na pumorma sa harap ko yung dalawa, as if protecting me.

Marco and the three other boys from the Centrex basketball team stalked toward us deliberately. Nanlilisik ang mga mata ni Marco habang papalapit sa 'min. He was staring my cousins down. May mga kasama silang babae na parang taga-Intersci.

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Hinawakan ko sa braso sina Mathev and Kuya, silently telling them not to engage.

Ganito na lang ba kami lagi sa tuwing magkikita sila?

I noticed that Mathev's jaw tensed, his fists clenching at his sides. Gano'n din si Kuya Onyx. All of them looked grim and irritated.

"Tara na," I called. "Umiwas na kayo sa gulo."

But they ignored me. The group finally stopped in front of us. Reading their stance, lahat sila handa kung magkakaaway. But yung Marco lang yung galit na galit.

"Kamusta na yung gago n'yong pinsan ha?" maangas na sinabi niya. "Ano, umurong na ba ang buntot?"

"O talaga, tol?" Mathev said sharply. "E sa pagkakatanda ko, ikaw yung umiyak at dumugo ang ilong no'n."

Marco was about to pounce, may kalmadong lalaki lang na tumapik sa kanya to stop him. Then, the other two steered him in another direction.

Nung una ayaw pa niyang sumama but they managed to tow him away.

Nung wala na sila, I sighed in relief. Shit. Kinabahan ako do'n.

I threw a glance at Mathev and Kuya Onyx. Nakatingin pa rin sila sa direction kung saan dumiretso yung apat. Hinawakan ako sa balikat ni Mathev at tinapik para maglakad na ulit.

"You should sort this out," bulong ko sa kanila nang bumalik ako sa 'wisyo. "Wala na bang chance para magkaayos kayo? 'Di pwedeng ganito tayo lagi."

"Magkaayos? Kahit 'di na," Mathev said with a snort. "Walang gagawing tama ang mga 'yon. Puro gulo lang."

"Gutierez is getting smarter though. Hindi na niya pinatulan ulit si Jacob last time," Kuya Onyx said.

"Kasi duwag," Mathev replied quickly, shrugging.

"No. Something's different, man. He's avoiding us."

"He's grown some brains. So what? Natututo na siyang lumugar."

I frowned at the flow of the conversation. Hindi ko nagustuhan kung pa'no magsalita si Mathev about him.

"Why do you hate him so much?" sabi ko, trying not to let out any emotions they could detect. "Bakit ba inis na inis kayo?"

Nag-angat ng kilay si Mathev. "I don't hate him. I just don't like him either."

"Oo nga. But why?"

"I don't need a reason to get irritated at someone, Javee. He's a threat to our family. Hindi ba sapat na rason 'yon?" Mathev countered.

"So irritated ka sa kanya for no reason? Isn't that childish, Mathe? What exactly is he threatening?"

Hindi umimik si Mathev. Kunot-noo lang akong pinagmasdan, as if he was trying to gauge my thoughts out. I looked away when Kuya Onyx spoke up.

"Dapat kasi matuto siyang lumugar. Masyadong mataas ang tingin no'n sa sarili niya," Kuya Onyx filled in. "At simple lang naman 'yan e. Kung ayaw niya ng gulo, he should control his team."

Alam kong hindi na dapat ako sumagot para hindi na lumala but the urge to defend him was too strong. I spoke before I could even think.

"That's unfair, Kuya. They're his team, not his slaves. You can't hold him responsible for the actions of his members. Besides, you're not out of blame either. You're all too hot-headed and that's not good."

Mathev paused to scrutinize me.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Bakit ba bigla kang interesado?" His tone was cold, making me look away.

Nakakahalata na ba siya? Mathev was smart. Did he catch on already?

"Ayoko lang na lagi kayong napapaaway."

That . . . wasn't half wrong. So technically hindi pa siya considered as lying, right?

"You're a bad liar, Javee," sabi niya lang. Halos mapatigil ako sa paghinga. "And stop siding with that group. Jacob will go ballsy 'pag narinig niya 'yan. You don't wanna trigger that apeshit."

He was right. My brother would surely get suspicious. I knew I should drop the topic na pero gustong-gusto ko nang malaman kung ano ba talaga ang nangyayari.

"You didn't answer my question. Bakit ba kasi kayo galit na galit sa mga 'yon?"

Akala ko hindi na sila magsasalita kasi tahimik lang silang naglalakad but then Mathev suddenly took a sharp intake of breath.

"Those asses started it. You remember Jepoy and Kimpee?"

I nodded, curious. Kilala ko sila. Jepoy and Kimpee were Kuya Jacob's best buds since high school. Basketball members sila ng Intersci team until they were kicked out of the team and from the school. Masyado daw kasing basagulero. And na-involve din sila sa frat, I think. At least 'yon ang narinig ko. Why was Mathev suddenly bringing them up?

"Those fuckers are the reason why they got kicked out. Wala namang ginagawa sa kanila yung mga 'yon pero pinagtripan nila. Di lang sila na-kick out. Nagka-injury si Jepoy. Now he can't play basketball anymore."

I was stunned. Ito ang unang beses na narinig ko ang kwento na 'to. At 'to rin ang unang beses na nag-open up sila about what was really happening.

"What? I thought dahil lang sa frat war?"

"Not quite," Mathev said gravely. "Unang nag-away 'yang si Gutierez at Jepoy. 'Tong ungas na Marco naman, nakisawsaw at pinagulo pa."

My hands were getting cold. "Then?"

Mathev shrugged. "E 'di nagkabangasan. Nabugbog ni Jep si Marco. Si duwag, nagtawag ng back-up."

Slowly, I was beginning to piece everything out. Parang puzzle, unti-unti kong napagtatagpi ang lahat ng nangyari.

"So yung frat fight . . . gawa talaga ni Marco?" I asked to clarify.

Tumango si Mathev. "Binanatan nila yung dalawa habang walang kalaban-laban. Nung mabalitaan 'yon ng tropa nung dalawa, do'n na nagsimula yung frat war na narinig mo."

"Ta's the school found out? Kaya sila na-expel?" That's why Kuya Jacob hates them so much?

"Oo. At alam ni Gutierez lahat 'yan. Baka nga siya pa ang may pakana, that sick fuck."

Kuya Onyx clicked his tongue. "Damn cowards."

Natuyo ang lalamunan ko. I couldn't believe my ears. Totoo ba 'yon? Ginawa nina Racel 'yon? He had a side like that? Hindi ako makapaniwala. Imposible. Hindi gano'n ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya.

Mas lalo lang akong nalito. But I couldn't just judge him right away dahil sa narinig ko. There are always three sides to every story: The opposing sides' versions, and the truth.

Hindi ako pwedeng maniwala nang basta basta. What if the boys were mistaken pala? What if may ibang story pa na hindi nila alam?

But then again, what if tama pala sila?

Dammit.

"Nga pala. Nag-aaya si Paul. Labas daw tayo," pagbasag ni Kuya Onyx sa katahimikan when we finally reached the parking lot.

Tahimik akong sumunod ako kanila patungo sa kotse.

"Kelan?" Mathev asked him.

"Next month yata. Baka first week. Birthday yata ng tropa niya."

"Sige lang," sagot ni Mathev. "Sama ka, Jav?"

First week? Hoshet. Delikado, 'cause that could be reserved for the Finals na.

"I . . . can't," sabi ko.

"Bakit?"

"Busy ako n'yan," I lied.

"Weh? Sa'n ka naman busy, ha?"

Honestly hindi ko alam. Wala pa naman schedule but I wanted to be ready.

"Basta. Busy ako."

"Tss. KJ."

I remained quiet all throughout the ride back to the university.

I kept on cursing myself mentally for lying to them.

Huminga ako nang malalim, baka sakaling maibsan ang tensyon sa dibdib ko.

Damn.

Namimihasa na akong magsinungaling. Inuusig na 'ko ng konsensya. Tama si Mathev. I really was such a bad liar.