After bolting off like that, I questioned myself for the way I reacted to him.

I knew he couldn't possibly be the father of that baby. I mean, the time didn't even check out. Besides, if they kept their relationship, wouldn't I catch wind of it somehow?

Mas issue sa 'kin bakit para akong nanghina nang makita siya ulit.

"It's a natural reaction. No one would fault you for freaking out. At least you didn't flip him off," Maxxie said while typing away in front of her computer, her fringe falling across her forehead in waves.

"You think I should've stayed and talked to him?"

"I think it's good that you left. He's already a closed book. No point in revisiting a chapter that's already been finished long time ago, 'di ba?"

I pursed my lips, humming thoughtfully. She had a point, of course. As always. Like Ahron, Maxxie had always been the voice of logic in this friendship.

I nodded, letting her words sink in. I was just glad the girls were finally complete again. Ito ang unang weekend namin na magkakasama simula nang magkaroon ng kanya-kanyang trabaho. We kind of scattered all over the metro na nga. While I was working as an HR assistant, Ahron had embraced her influencer life. Pa-travel travel na lang ngayon para i-cover ang iba't ibang mga undiscovered tourist spots sa Pilipinas. Si Anjo naman, nagtatrabaho as a marketing specialist habang consultant sa ngayon si Maxxie.

Actually, Maxxie was juggling a lot of different jobs. By day, she's a consultant, by night, she's an editor slash book blogger for Lemon Marmalade.

Sobrang busy na talaga nila kaya na-miss ko ang mga bonding days namin. Ang hirap na kasi pagtugma-tugmain ng mga schedule namin.

"Yeah, and he's got some guts, ha. Talagang nagpakita pa ulit siya sa 'yo? After he cheated? Wow naman po, mam ser. Saan po nakukuha ang kakapalan? Pahingi nga d'yan!" Anjo said with distaste, lifting a delicate brow as she flicked her eyes to my face. Pareho kaming nakaupo sa carpet.

Nandito kaming apat sa loob ng room ni Maxxie. Humiga ako sa lap ni Anjo habang nakasandal naman siya sa kama. Nasa harap namin si Ahron na busy din sa pag-e-edit ng mga photos niya from Siargao habang kumakain ng classic cheesecake na binili pa namin sa malapit na cafe.

"Don't say that," I said gently and sat upright. "He's not his mistake. He's more than that. Marami pa naman siyang ginawang tama. Nagkamali siya, sure. Ako rin naman. Naging masaya naman kami. Parang unfair lang na alalahanin siya at yung pagkakamali niya lang ang maiisip natin. He's so much more than that."

"Whoo. Pinagtatanggol ni Jan, oh," sabi ni Anjo. "Mahal pa yata! We don't condone cheaters here, Jan. Emotional man o physical."

"I loved him, past tense," I corrected her. "I don't wanna be the girl that talks shit about her ex lang. Ang immature n'on."

"You never were," sagot ni Maxxie. Nakikinig pa rin siya kahit na busy siya sa ginagawa niya. "'Wag mo ngang pansinin 'yang si Anjo. Bagsak ang empathy skills n'yan ngayon dahil sa work."

"I know, right? This princess is tired. Pagod na 'ko maging best employee, bhie? Parang deserve ko rin ng retail therapy," sabi na lang ni Anjo at sabay bumuntonghininga.

"So," Ahron interrupted, taking her eyes off the laptop to meet mine, "why did he come back daw? What did he want?"

It took me a minute to answer that. Dimly, I remembered the words he told me that night and the desperation and longing I heard in his voice. Napabuntonghininga na rin ako.

"I'm not sure."

Anjo jolted, evidently startled. "What does his return mean anyway? Ibig sabihin ba 'di pa siya nakaka-move on? All this time, ikaw pa rin? One year na, 'teh. Ibig sabihin naghihintay lang siya no'n? Akala ko tapos na kayo?"

"That's what I thought too."

"E, why kaya gano'n?"

Maxxie threw her a look. "Kasi naman, A. Hindi lahat kasing bilis mo mag-move on, 'no!"

Anjo flicked her tongue out like a kid.

Nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Ahron. Her brows furrowed as her probing eyes searched mine like she was dissecting me. "So what's the big plan?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Wala. I mean, what can I do at this point? We're over. May closure na rin naman kami. I think na mali na bumalik pa kami. We're too unhealthy for each other from the get-go kaya no point na rin para mag-usap."

"You sound so determined but why do you look so conflicted now?"

That struck a nerve. Hoshet.

"Hindi kasi madaling panindigan, babe," I admitted with a sigh. "May pinagsamahan kami, e. Aaminin ko, napapaisip din ako kung dapat ba bigyan ko siya ng chance mag-usap baka kasi hindi pa niya nakukuha ang closure niya. But natatakot ako na baka maling signal naman ang mabigay ko."

I could still feel Ahron's sharp stare on me, no doubt gauging my thoughts out for some semblance of emotions she thought I still had.

Siguro nga may lingering feelings pa ako. Minahal ko siya, e. Hindi naman basta-basta mawawala 'yon. Nandito pa rin, nag-iba lang.

"Tama, past is past," Anjo agreed.

"Speaking of past . . ." I trailed off. "Kamusta na si Hiro? Okay ba siya no'ng nakita mo siya?"

As if I said something wrong, all three whipped to me like I just announced world invasion.

Napabitaw si Anjo sa pizza na hawak-hawak niya. "Pwede ba, don't say bad words, kakajirits," Anjo complained, her face crumpling with annoyance and disgust.

"Don't tell me you still care about her?" Ahron added in disbelief.

Napanguso ako.

Curious lang naman ako. Kung magiging totoo kasi ako sa sarili ko, aaminin kong may kulang sa amin, sa mga ganito namin. Bukod sa wala dito si Lhyle, parang nami-miss ko rin ang mga panahon na kasama namin sa ganito si Hiromi. Even though we ended badly, I couldn't help it. She was also a big part of my life and it sucked na nasira kami dahil sa lalaki.

But they were right. I should forget about her, too.

"Sorry," nasabi ko na lang.

Maxxie sighed loudly, shook her head, and turned off her laptop. Then she removed her eyeglasses before she stood up from her swiveling chair and squeezed herself between Anjo and me. Inabot niya ang pizza na nakapatong sa kama at kumagat doon.

"Enough about dark pasts. Pag-usapan na lang natin ang cafe bar, please. Kailan ang soft opening?" Maxxie started, her attention cutting between Anjo and Ahron.

A year ago, nagsara na kasi ang paborito naming tambayan sa Maginhawa. Nalungkot kaming mawawala na 'yon dahil madami kaming good memories doon so to immortalize those moments, Ahron decided to get the place (including the space beside it) and start our very own cafe. Although in truth, sila lang ni Anjo ang super involved doon dahil sila ang namamahala sa finances at management pero tumutulong kami ni Maxxie sa capital, pati na rin sa brainstorming at creative designs ng lugar.

We decided to call it The Tipsy Crib dahil cafe 'yon sa umaga at hapon, at mala-bar naman sa gabi without the booming music and gyrating crowd.

Sakto, I was able to lowkey make Kuya Travis agree to give us a good discount para sa mga alcoholic beverages na kukunin namin sa company.

"Roughly a few weeks from now," sagot ni Ahron. "I'm thinking of inviting just a few friends. Some bloggers I know to help us boost our brand. What do you think?"

"Sige. Kukulitin ko na rin sina Kuya Jacob para tulungan tayo. And si Angelo din pala. That goof has a good following. Malaking tulong," I volunteered.

At the mention of Angelo, they snickered and exchanged meaningful glances so I said, "Really? Pati ba naman kayo?"

"What? Wala naman kaming sinasabi, ah?" painosenteng sagot pa ni Anjo kaya binato ko na lang siya ng unan at inagawan ng coke.

***

The next week, I texted Angelo to meet up so we could discuss about the soft opening. Nakaupo ako sa cafe dito sa may Glorietta habang hinihintay siya. Kanina pa kasi tapos ang work kaya hinihintay ko na lang siyang tapusin ang part-time work niya para sabay kaming magdi-dinner.

Inabot pa ng isang oras bago siya dumating. Dahil nagbabasa ako ng novel sa tablet ko, nagulat pa ako nang may biglang umupo sa harap ko.

"Hey," Angelo breathed out with a beaming smile. "Sorry I'm late. They wouldn't let me leave the office pa kasi, e." He looked around. "Lipat tayo? I'm starving," sabi niya pa kaya lumipat kami kaagad sa isang Japanese restaurant.

Habang naghihintay sa pagdating ng orders, I watched Angelo who was busy answering texts on his phone.

He was wearing a light grey sweat over his white button-up longsleeves and tie. Ang casual at comfortable tingnan n'on sa kanya kahit na mukhang pormal pa rin. That was his style talaga.

Kahit nga no'ng debut ko, kahit na naka-coat siya, nagawa niya pa ring pagmukhaing laidback ang hitsura niya. He really hated feeling stifled and caged kaya kahit sa pananamit, lumalabas 'yon.

I guess he was feeling lazy today, too. Ang kadalasang naka-brush up o nakaparte kasi niyang buhok, bagsak at disheveled lang ngayon. Walang kahit anong gel na nakalagay. Napapadalas na nga na hinahayaan niyang ganyan ang buhok niya simula nang sinabi kong mas bagay sa kanya 'yon.

I ended up smiling.

He looked up from his phone, brows arching high in confusion, until he noticed what I was looking at.

He chuckled and absentmindedly ran a hand through his messy hair. Nadaanan niya ng kamay ang bangs niya kaya medyo umangat na 'yon pakanan. "Ah. I was late kanina. Had no time to fix my hair. Does it suck ba?"

I threw him playful look. "No, you look good."

He gave out a lopsided grin. "As in, handsome good?"

I laughed. "I like it. Mas bagay sa 'yo. You look more . . ." I paused, trying to find the correct adjective to describe him.

"Sexy?" he quickly supplied, waggling his brows.

"Chill. More chill, I was gonna say. Asa ka pa," I finished and stuck a tongue out at him.

"ss. Ayaw pang umamin, obvious naman. You so smitten with me," he said, his voice lilting into that teasing tone as his grey eyes danced with mirth.

I flipped him the bird, making him chuckle.

'Di nagtagal, dumating na rin ang mga orders namin. Binanggit ko sa kanya yung napag-usapan namin nina Anjo tungkol sa soft opening ng The Tipsy Crib. Inaaya ko siya, si Cari at si Steel na i-cover sana ang cafe sa mismong grand opening namin para naman mas dumami ang makakakilala. Angelo wasn't really an influencer like Cari at Steel but maraming sumusunod sa mga social media accounts niya.

Pumayag naman siya kagad. Mabilis kong sinabi 'yon sa mga girls. They were ecstatic kaya pinaabot nila ang gratitude nila kay Angelo.

"Naks. Plus pogi points na ba 'yon?" natatawang tanong niya habang ninanamnam ang gyoza.

"Basta i-promote mo nang i-promote, yes. Plus points ka kay Anjo."

"Sa kanya lang? E with you? I was gunning for you," he said, pouting with matching puppy eyes.

I played along. "Depends. Pataasin mo muna sales namin?"

"Yun lang ba? Kahit I visit your cafe everyday, Jamie V. Ano ba naman yung I'll go to QC from Makati everyday, 'di ba? Ilang oras of traffic lang 'yon. If you want, kami na ni Andrei ang mag-oopen at magsasara ng cafe n'yo."

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. Hindi nga malabong gano'n ang mangyari. As early as now kasi, nag-uusap na ang mga kapatid at pinsan ko kung paano daw nila bibinyagan ang cafe. "Baka maubos n'yo ang mga pagkain namin, knowing your big appetites."

"That's the idea, 'di ba? Kamusta na ba your cafe? Everything going smoothly?"

"Yup. We're done with the recipes and over-all design. Tatapusin na lang ang mga murals and we're done."

"Nice. Business woman na pala, this girl. Shit, I'm with a mature woman," he said, feigning a kinikilig look. "Why did you girls suddenly decide to start a cafe nga ulit?"

"I told you, 'di ba? That place holds dear memories for us. Kaya no'ng nagsara yung dati, we decided to rent the place and start our own."

He tilted his head. "And who thought of the theme? Seems cool kasi. It's comics-inspired?"

"Manga," I corrected. "And Maxx and Anjo came up with the idea. Sila ang mahilig magbasa ng mga gano'n so when they pitched the idea, nagustuhan naman kami and we agreed. We hired a mural artist and several others na lang to bring our ideas to life."

Ang tinutukoy namin, 'yong kabuuang theme ng cafe bar. Dalawa lang kasi ang makikitang kulay doon. Either white or black. Puno ng murals ang buong cafe dahil sakop ng background color ang lahat at ginuhit lang ang mga decorations katulad ng mga paintings at flowers. We did it so it would look like the lines were sketched by a pencil.

Mala-3D ang hitsura n'on para ang feeling naman, para lang pumasok sa isang manga. Sa left side mas nangingibabaw ang puting background habang itim naman sa kanan (puti naman ang pinangguhit doon). May division para kung sakaling naiilang ang mga male customers sa hitsura ng white background, may choice sila. May mga iilang kulay din na bumubuhay sa lugar para sa mga flower motifs and table mats pero kaunti lang 'yon.

"I'm excited to see it. Sayang lang 'cause your bes won't get to see it."

At the mention of Lhyle, medyo natigilan ako. Umusbong na naman ang pagka-miss ko sa kanya. Hindi ko pa rin siya nakakausap. Busy kasi 'yon sa kino-cover niyang events lately.

"He will once he gets home," I said and added as an afterthought, "I hope he does. I miss him."

"Don't be sad, Jamie V. I'm your bestie while your bes is away, 'di ba," makulit na sinabi niya. Tumawa na lang ako.

Nang matapos kaming kumain, nagkwentuhan pa muna kami bago nagdesisyon na umuwi na. It was getting late dahil halos 11 p.m na rin. May pasok pa kinabukasan.

Habang naglalakad papunta sa parking lot nang bigla niya akong hinigit palapit sa kanya. His arm snaked around my shoulders. I also felt his head tilt and rest against mine as he suddenly raised his left hand to take a sudden snapshot of us. Nabigla ako sa ginawa niyang 'yon kaya dali-dali ko siyang siniko.

Lumundag palayo sa 'kin si Angelo habang tinatawanan ang picture namin. "Dammit. Stolen na but cute pa rin?"

Sigurado akong hindi cute 'yon dahil nagulat ako. Kung hindi malaki ang mata ko doon, baka nakapikit ako. Frowning, I ran to him to steal his phone and delete the photo but he used his height to his advantage. Tinaas niya 'yon para hindi ko maabot.

"Hey, that's unfair. Akin na 'yan. Delete mo na!"

"Naah. This one's for keeps," he said, deflecting the punch I aimed on his shoulder. Tumatawa siyang kinuha ang mga kamay ko para pigilan ko. "Swear, it's really good. And I won't post it, I promise. Sa 'kin lang this one, Jamie V."

Sobrang kinang ng mga mata niya kaya alam kong natutuwa talaga siya sa photo na 'yon. Wala na akong nagawa. His smile was so disarming that I felt my temper melting down.

Ngumuso ako. "Fine. Patingin na nga lang."

"Promise you won't delete it?"

"Fine, I won't delete it."

He grinned, his dimples showing, while he pulled up the photo. Matalino ang kumag na 'to. Hindi talaga pinahawakan sa 'kin ang cellphone niya, baka raw burahin ko lang.

"Cute naman, 'di ba?"

Napatitig ako sa kuha namin. Oo nga, okay naman 'yon. Maliwanag din dahil saktong nasa ilalim naman kami ng lights kaya kitang kita ang mga mukha namin. Tama nga ako. Medyo nanlalaki ang mga mata ko sa gulat at mukhang nalilito habang nakatingin sa lens. Napatingin naman ako sa hitsura ni Angelo at agad na napangiti. His eyes were shut and his nose were wrinkled as he leaned his head against mine and smiled at the camera.

He was right. Cute nga ang photo.

"Hmp. Basta 'wag mong ipo-post 'yan kahit saan. Isusumpa talaga kita."

"Yes, ma'am," sabi niya lang. Nagawa pa ngang sumaludo.

Then it became quiet afterward. Hindi yung suffocating na silence but the comfortable kind. Ganito naman kasi lagi. Everything was fun and comfortable with Angelo at ayokong masira 'yon kahit kailan kaya I decided to tell him what happened.

Pagkalapit namin sa kotse, he walked me to the door and opened it. Bago pa niya ako papasukin doon, I spoke up.

"I saw Racel the other day."

The effect was quick. Angelo froze and I heard his sharp intake of breath. Hindi siya lumingon sa 'kin. Nakatingin lang siya sa sahig habang nakakapit ang kamay niya sa pinto ng kotse. Agad na nagdilim ang mukha niya kaya hindi ko mabasa ang iniisip niya. It was like a cloud of cold indifference took over his sunny face.

Kinabahan ako. I bit my lip and shifted on my feet, fiddling with my ring.

Hindi ako sanay na ganito siya. Sa totoo lang, medyo nakakatakot talaga kapag bigla-bigla siyang nagiging tahimik. It scared me that he could go to a world where I couldn't reach him in a snap during moments where heavy emotions were involved. Para kasing doon, hindi ko siya maaabot at makikilala. Natatakot ako sa tendency niyang ganito dahil proof lang 'yon na kahit kilala na namin ang isa't isa, na kahit open kami, may mga bagay talaga na hindi pa rin siya handang i-share sa 'kin.

Like he was protecting me from them.

Alam ko namang male behavior yung ganito dahil ganito rin sina Kuya Jacob pero kapag siya, naninibago ako. He'd always been the open and gentle Angelo kasi. Whenever he shifted to these . . . laging iba. Buti na lang bihira lang siyang nagkakaganito. Kapag lang si Racel ang usapan o 'di kaya yung namatay niyang kapatid.

"Where?" Angelo said after what felt like eternity, his voice coming out as hard and distant.

"Outside our building. It was pretty recent. He was waiting for me. Sabi niya, he wanted to talk," kinakabahan kong sagot.

My answer seemed to break his trance because he suddenly moved. He looked at me with that cold mask on, his jaw taut, his hands clenching by his sides. Ni walang galit o kahit ano sa mukha niya. It was simply impassive and frighteningly calm.

"Did you?"

I shook my head, watching him carefully.

"Did you want to?" he asked in a low voice.

"Not then."

He was quiet for a moment. "What about now?"

"I don't know." I sighed.

Napabuga siya ng hininga. "Are you planning to see him again?"

"Baka hindi na. Hindi na siguro."

Siguro nakita niya ang pag-aalala ko sa kanya because his expression softened. He was still inscrutable pero hindi na 'yon katulad ng kanina na hindi ko malaman-laman kung anong iniisip niya.

Angelo drew a deep breath. "Don't meet him again, Jamie V. You're over him. You've just finished moving on from him. Don't cut yourself again," he said as he gently steered me into his car, his hand hovering over my head to make sure I wouldn't hit the roof.

Tahimik at puno ng tensyon ang naging byahe namin nang ihatid niya ako pauwi sa Las Piñas. I knew he was upset because his jaw was clenched the whole time at sobrang diin ng kapit niya sa manibela niya. Kahit naman sino yata ay maiinis kapag nalaman na nagkikita pa kami lalo na't matagal na kaming tapos.

But I felt the need to tell him kahit alam kong masisira ang mood niya. I tell him everything. Ni isang sikreto, wala akong nilihim sa kanya at sa mga kuya ko simula noong naghiwalay kami ni Racel. Ayoko sanang maging si Racel pa ang dahilan para mabali 'yon. I learned from my mistakes.

Soon, we reached our house. Bumaba na ako ng sasakyan at naglakad palapit sa gate. Naririnig ko ang mga yabag niya habang nakasunod siya sa 'kin. Tahimik pa rin. Galit. Kaya hindi ko malaman kung papasok na ba ako. I didn't want to end the night without appeasing him.

"Sorry. Galit ka ba?" paglalambing ko. "Wala namang nangyari, e. I'm okay. You don't need to worry."

Nang hindi siya umimik, akala ko hindi na niya talaga ako kikibuin but Angelo surprised me when he suddenly pulled me into his arms, his nose buried in my hair. Napakahigpit ng pagkakayakap niya sa 'kin.

"Sorry if I got upset. I just don't want to see you get hurt." He paused and took a deep breath. "I'm so scared of feeling helpless again."

I nodded my head and lifted my arms to return his embrace. Binaon ko ang mukha ko sa balikat niya.

He shifted and murmured into my ear, "I didn't try so hard to make you happy just to see you get hurt by the same guy again. I'm . . ." Napatigil siya at napasinghap.

"What?" I asked softly. I pulled away so that I could look at his face.

Angelo looked so conflicted and lost then, as if he didn't know what to say. I knew na kaya lang naman siya nagagalit dahil hindi ko kayang magalit para sa sarili ko.

"You're what?" I asked, way softer than before.

I could almost see the wheels turning in his grey eyes as he thought of what words to say. It took him another half minute before he finally said, "I'm . . . your Superman, 'di ba? We're solid"—he paused to put a strand of loose hair back into my ear—"I won't let you get hurt by the same guy over and over. I won't stand by kung sasaktan ka niya ulit."

He looked scared. Ako rin naman. I was so scared to disappoint people again.

He released a small smile and then he pressed his lips to my forehead. It was so gentle I almost didn't feel it. "Don't dwell on the past, okay? Let's continue moving forward na lang."

I nodded as my answer.