Excited na excited ako para sa Cebu trip namin, lalo na no'ng sinabi ni Angelo na mag-sky diving kami. But there was a problem. A week after the release of the results kasi, Kuya Travis convinced me to join his company.

Ayaw ko pa nga no'ng una. I didn't want to rely on our family name just to land a job. I wanted to be self-made and earn for myself but his company was big and ever growing so they had constant need for human resource associates so by the end of that week, after a series of discussions with my brother, napapayag na niya ako. On the condition that I would go through the entire hiring process fair and square. No connections involved.

My credentials were good enough, though, kaya wala naman naging problem sa interviews. That was how I ended up getting hired by DV Imports.

I was expected to start working as soon as possible, once na nakumpleto ko na ang requirements ko.  Disappointed akong nagsabi kay Angelo na kailangan namin i-rebook ang lakad namin. He was—as always—cool with it. Even congratulated me with my new work. We decided to have it on February or maybe summer next year na lang, para sakto sa birthday ko. Magiging busy na rin kasi siya sa review dahil board exam na niya for Civil Eng soon.

On my first day of work, I was a bundle of nerves. Nasa 19th floor ng building namin sa Taguig ang DV Imports. Sa taas, occupying two floors, ang DV Estates habang sa baba naman ang iba pang mga office ng mga subsidiaries under the DV Group banner. I think sa 16th floor ang D&Z Malls kung saan nagtatrabaho si Kuya Chris. 

Akala ko no'ng una, magiging distant sa 'kin ang mga colleagues ko dahil sa last name ko but they were surprisingly kind and genuine to me. They adored my brother so much kaya sa maging sa 'kin, giliw na giliw sila. Dati pala kasi, sa operations and winemaker si Kuya dito kaya mas lagi siya sa Ilocos para i-supervise ang timpla ng local wine na ilalabas ng DV Imports. Palagi rin siyang lumalabas ng bansa para matuto ng winemaking at tingnan at pag-aralan ang mga vineyards namin sa Italy at Napa Valley. I was a sophomore then.

From there, he shifted to being a business development and project manager. Under his lead kaya nai-launch ang Cave à vin Fleurie wine bar namin this year. Now that he's done with his masters, he was promoted to Vice President kaya mas busy na at bihira ko na makita.

Ngayon ko lang din talaga naintindihan ang ginagawa ng kapatid ko. Akala ko kasi magiging general manager lang siya ng wine bar. 'Di ko akalain na katutuwaan siya ng board at ng president (na matalik na kaibigan ni Dad) kaya dire-diretso ang progress niya. I heard he'd closed some deals with other hotels too kaya mas dumami pa ang mga partners namin na sineserbisyohan ng DV Imports.

Puro orientation lang ang ginawa sa 'kin sa first day. Ipinakilala ako sa HR department bago iginala ni Miss Jen, ang HR supervisor ko, sa iba't iba pang mga departments. Then pagdating ng lunch time, pumaligid sa 'kin ang mga kasamahan ko para tanungin ako kung sabay ba kami ni Kuya Travis magla-lunch.

Kita ko ang curiosity sa mga ngiti nila but none of them seemed fake or hostile. Mukhang curious lang talaga sila. Hula ko nga may crush yata sila sa kapatid ko.

Napatawa ako. "Hindi ko sure. Sabay kaming pumasok pero hindi n'ya nabanggit ang lunch. Baka busy?"

"Sa 'min ka na lang sumabay. May baon ka ba? Lalabas sana kami," sabi ni Sol, isa sa mga ka-edad kong HR associate.

Umiling ako. "No time to pack. Aga kasi umalis ni Kuya, e. Sa'n ba kayo?"

"Wait. Pang fastfood lang ang kaya ng budget namin. Kumakain ka ba no'n?" sabi naman ni Sae.

Tumango ako. "Oo naman, no!"

"Pati kapatid mo ba mahilig do'n? Shet, alam mo bang laging pinag-uusapan dito si VP?" dagdag ni Sol habang kumikislap ang mga mata.

Lalo akong napatawa. Natural na yata 'yon. Kahit saan kasi dalhin si Kuya, marami talagang namamangha sa kanya. He's got the looks and the smarts. Siya talaga ang pinakanagmana kay Dad kaya hindi na ako nagtataka.

Palabas na sana kami ng office namin nang makasalubong ko si Kuya Travis. Agad siyang ngumiti at tumango, parang sinasabing sumabay ako sa kanya. I felt my colleagues stop behind me. Nagsisikuhan sila at nakikita ko sa gilid ng mga mata ko ang kinikilig nilang mga ngiti.

I understood why. My brother looked well put-up today. Bagay sa kanya ang white longsleeves shirt na suot niya, lalo na't nakatupi 'yon sa mga siko niya. It accentuated his tall physique and toned arms perfectly. Sayang at hanggang ngayon, wala siyang nagugustuhan, although paulit-ulit siyang inaasar ni Kuya Chris kay Francheska Celestial.

Nakita ko sa gilid si Tito Hans, ang president ng company. He too looked regal in his blue suit. Lumapit ako para bumati. Bumabati rin sa kanila ang mga dumadaan na employees.

"Good afternoon po," I said politely.

"Nice to see you here, hija. I really must be getting old if you're old enough to work. Sabay ka sa 'ming mag-lunch?" Tito Hans asked with a charming curve in his lips. The laughing lines around his eyes made him look kinder, a sign that he was a man who had a positive outlook in life as he loved to smile.

"'Wag na po siguro, sir. First day ko po. Gusto ko sanang makilala ang mga ka-work ko." I beamed.

Tito Hans chuckled and turned to my brother. "Well? I guess you won't be having lunch with your sister, Trav. Your excitement was for nothing." Lalo siyang tumawa.

Napabaling ako kay Kuya na umiling lang sa sinabi ni Tito. "Enjoy then. Gagabihin ako ngayon. Ipapasundo na lang kita sa driver?"

Ngumuso ako. "I can commute naman. No need to disturb the drivers. Gusto kong matuto."

"Traffic pauwi. Besides, it's your first day. Better to come home with someone I know. What about Jacob? I'll ask him to get you."

"'Wag na. Nag-aaral 'yon para sa board exam niya. Don't bother him, Kuya." Busy din kasi ang mga kapatid ko sa review. Pare-parehas kasi silang engineering courses ang kinuha, except Kuya Paul who took up BS Mathematics at naunang makatapos and Kuya Onyx who studied Legal Management. Nasa Law school na 'yon ngayon.

Sa 'ming lahat, si Gian na lang ang hindi pa nakaka-graduate dahil Civil Engineering din ang kinuha niya, like Angelo, Mathev, and Kuya Jacob. He's on his fifth year now.

"Hm. Aright, I'll text Chris, then. I'll see you later." He kissed my forehead and went off with Tito Hans.

Tumitili ang mga girls nang bumalik ako sa kanila. Nagmamadali pa nga si Sol dahil gusto niyang makasabay sa elevator si Kuya kaso nauna na sila.

Sol reminded me a bit of Anjo, except mas softspoken siya. Anjo was more of a livewire. Hindi matigil ang energy kaya kahit ano, gustong gawin.

I sighed fondly at the reminder of my friends. Lahat kami busy na sa kanya-kanya naming mga careers. Si Lhyle naman—I heard he's doing well in Singapore. Biology ang natapos pero hindi niya pinagpatuloy. I heard he got hired by a famous entertainment company as their official photographer. I was happy for him pero I really missed the jerk. Paminsan-minsan na lang kasi kaming nagkakausap. He went home thrice last year and once this year, no'ng graduation ko. But since then, I hadn't seen his face. He was too busy we could only communicate through iMessage.

Mabilis na dumaan ang dalawang linggo. Nakapag-adjust na ako sa work load ko at nakapagsimula na rin. Natapos na rin kasi ang turn-over period kaya mag-isa na ako sa recruitment and requirements duties ko. I also struck a deal with Kuya Travis. Since graduate naman na ako, pinayagan na niya akong mag-drive papunta sa work. But honestly, medyo natatakot akong dalhin ang Jaguar ko kaya Dad bought me another car. Yung sakto lang para sa pang-araw-araw na byahe.

Nang matapos ang trabaho ngayon, dali-dali na akong nagclock-out at dumiretso sa Highstreet. May gusto akong bilhin na libro doon kaya atubili akong nagpunta sa Fullybooked. Sakto namang nakasalubong ko si Justin Mercedez bago pa ako makaabot doon.

"Javee?"

I stopped at the familiar voice. When I saw his tall figure coming close to me, my heart sped up, and I ran my eyes around in case nandito siya. Imposible naman, 'di ba?

Wala na akong balita sa kanya. He was ahead of me by two years kaya alam kong isang taon na siyang nagtatrabaho pero hindi ko alam kung saan. Or maybe he was taking further studies. Hindi ko alam.

Why I was suddenly rattled by the idea that he could be here was a bigger question. Maayos na ako, 'di ba? No'ng makita ko siya sa Pampanga during the hot air balloon festival, maayos naman na ako. Wala nang pain o galit. Kaunting kirot nalang. I was able to walk away without looking back.

Bakit ngayon biglang nagwawala ang sistema ko?

When I was sure he wasn't around, ngumiti ako kay Justin at tumango.  "Hey, long time!"

He actually looked much better than the last time I saw him. He was rocking the corporate look. Bagay sa kanya ang blue longsleeves na suot niya at tamang-tama naman ang dark pants na suot niya. Like before, he kept his hair clean and well-trimmed. Ang major na nagbago sa kanya 'yong pangangatawan niya. He looked more filled out, siguro dahil medyo fit sa kanya ang suot niya.

Justin's entire face lit up like a bulb. "Oo nga, e. Ang tagal din kitang hindi na kita since. . ." he trailed off and then his eyes raked over my mid-length blonde hair. "Wow. You look good. It suits you."

"Thanks. Why are you here pala?"

"Oh, yeah. I work around here." He roamed his gaze around the Highstreet. "Kumain lang ako ng dinner before going home. Ikaw ba?"

"Same. Dito rin ang work ko. And bibili sana ako ng book dito."

"Still the book nerd, I see." He grinned.

I laughed. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Hindi, a? Sino bang lalaki ang ayaw sa babae na well-read?" Again, his friend flashed in my mind. Years ago, he said the same thing to me no'ng lagi ko siyang inaaya pumasok sa bookstores. Justin cleared his throat. "Anyway, sa De Villa building ka nagwo-work? You joined your family's business, huh?" nakangiti niyang tanong.

I pushed my side bangs out of my eyes. "Yeah. Ayoko nga sana, but my brother insisted that I join his company. I think he's being protective." I creased my nose. "Alam mo na, the usual protective kuya."

"Yeah, I get it. I'm like that to my siblings. Protective and annoying. I live to annoy." Tumawa ulit siya. "Pauwi ka na ba? Hatid na kita? May kasama ka ba?"

"Wag na, I have my ride, but thanks for the offer."

"Oh, okay. Then, um. . ." Justin stammered, looking a bit hesitant to continue. "Do you mind if I ask if you're with someone now?" Seeing my surprised face, Justin frantically added, "Not that I'm interested in you that way. Nakikita ko lang kasi ang photos mo sa Twitter. Lagi kayong magkasama ni Castillo? Kayo na ba?"

I shrugged off the feeling that he was asking that for another reason. I shook my head and said softly, "No, he's my best friend. How about kayo ni Christelle? You guys are together an awful lot. Kayo na ba?" I echoed his question with a teasing curve in my smile.

Justin looked scandalized and sputtered a loud rejection.

"Uy, hindi ah! Tropa lang 'yon. Tsaka I'm not giving up on your friend, just so you know. Kahit na frienzoned tayo." He shook his head and an amusement danced on his features.

"Don't worry. She friendzoned Shane, too."

"Really? Good then. Quits lang. I still have my chance," he said with that cheerful voice.

We naturally fell into steps. Hindi ko na tinanong kung bakit kasama ko pa siya papunta sa Fullybooked dahil ayoko naman na maging rude sa kanya. Also, nando'n na rin siguro yung na-miss ko rin siya. Kahit papaano kasi, naging kaibigan ko rin naman siya. Nakakalungkot lang na nawala 'yon when I lost the communication with his friend.

Patuloy ang kwento niya about sa mga nangyari sa kanya after graduation when he suddenly hit a land mine. Nabanggit niya si Harvey (who happened to be his workmate now dahil IT 'yon sa company nila), and so I asked how he had been.

"He's good. Still the quiet ass he is, but generally good. I think he's gonna have a girlfriend soon, kung tama ang hula kong may nagugustuhan siya." Justin suddenly cleared his throat. "Nakakausap mo pa ba siya?"

I walked from aisle to aisle, not bothering to look at him as I was checking the books. "No, not really. Not since then."

I could feel him gingerly tiptoeing around the subject. Alam ko naman na gustung-gusto niyang itanong kung ano ang nangyari. He probably knew everything pero gusto niya sigurong marinig ang side ko.

"E, si . . . " Napahinto na naman siya. "Kailan ba last na nakita mo siya o nakausap?"

I stopped as well, my eyes landing on Jenny Han's books. Shit, these brought back old memories. I swallowed thickly.

"I think alam mo naman kung kailan yung last." Then I managed to ask, the words barely breaking past my lips. "Is he doing well? It's been a while now."

"Yeah— I mean—yeah, it's been a while now. As for doing well, hmm. I guess he's as well as well could be. Actually, I don't know. Since the festival, hindi ko na siya nakakausap masyado. And since your—" Umubo siya. "Since then din kasi, lumayo na loob niya sa 'min. He literally isolated himself." He stopped suddenly. "Wait, I'm not saying this to guilt trip you or anything, ha. I'm just . . . shit. Sorry. I suck at this." He drew a long deep sigh na para bang problemadong-problemado siya. "It's just he hasn't been the same. But he graduated as a Magna Cum Laude and lived abroad since graduation. Kababalik lang niya two days ago."

Wala ako sa sarili nang tumango ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ipo-proseso ang mga sinabi niya. It felt like it's been forever since our break-up. I'd hoped he was doing well, emotionally and physically. After all, he was strong in character and spirit. Alam ko 'yon dahil 'yon ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya.

"Lahat naman yata tayo nagbago. Gano'n talaga. At may kanya-kanya na tayong direksyon sa buhay. He's finding his abroad," sabi ko na lang at kinuha ang librong inaabangan ko.

Natahimik si Justin sa naging sagot ko at gano'n na ang mood namin even no'ng binili ko ang libro. When we stepped out of the building, I said goodbye and went back to the direction of my ride when he ran after me.

"Wait lang, Javee. Last question lang. This doesn't mean anything. I'm just asking kasi nanghihinayang ako. Wala na bang chance na maayos n'yo?"

My brows quirked up in surprise. "Be honest. Did he ask you to do this?"

"Not at all. Gusto ko lang malaman sana kasi... nanghihinayang din ako sa pinagsamahan n'yo..." He rubbed his neck sheepishly. Nakita ko ang kaba at hiya sa ngiti niya.

I tilted my head to the side. "Did he give you the impression that he wants to get back with me?"

Natahimik si Justin at parang 'di alam ang sasabihin.

When I saw the panic flickering across his face, I smiled softly to ease him up. I wasn't grilling him. I was just sending my point across. He'd always been a curious guy and I felt like this was the only way to make him see things my way.

"Kung wala namang indication na gano'n nga, he probably moved on as well. Don't you think so? Kaya for his sake and your sake, you should move on na rin. Because I already have, Justin. I understand the attachment but it's really over," marahan kong sabi.

And I truly think he had as well. Truly. Ni minsan hindi na niya ako sinubukang kausapin pa. That's got to mean something, right?

Mabuti na lang din na gano'n. Mas napabilis ang pagmo-move on ko dahil bihira ko siya naririnig o nakikita.

"Kahit friends ba, hindi na pwede?" His brows were crunched in anticipation as he waited for my response.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

"Maybe. Who knows. Pero 'wag muna siguro, not when it hadn't been that long talaga, and honestly, I don't think my brothers have moved on. Ayoko na ng gulo. Let the past stay in the past, yes?"

He nodded in understanding, a pensive haze clouding his eyes. "I guess."

"It's really nice to see you again, dude. Galingan mo with Ahron. Best of luck!" Tinapik ko ang braso niya at dahan-dahang iniwan siya sa Highstreet.