San Francisco.

My beloved city.

The city in which I grew up and the city that has tons of nightclubs with bad security.

Me, Jasmine, Alice, Patty and Jocelyn made our way into our favorite nightclub, 'Origin'.
I can't help laughing when I think of us. The 5 17 year olds dressed into tight dresses heading towards one of the best clubs in town.
It's Friday night and there was no way I'd stay at home. You can think I'm wild or something, but really I'm not. We all just finished high school with perfect grades and we're simply celebrating.
High school, the years of misery. Adults often say that you'll miss high school when you're older, but no way in hell I'd miss waking up at 6 and sitting behind a desk for 8 hours, 5 days a week.
I promised myself not to get too drunk tonight because I have an interview tomorrow morning at my dream University. I already applied and I guess they just want to see if I'll be worth it. It's the Creative Writing University of San Francisco. It's so hard to get in there it's almost impossible.
Getting in there is my only goal right now.
Writing- oh god how I love books, literature and writing...

"Olivia, take out your ID." Jocelyn whispered to me and I noticed I was standing in front of a security guy. Even though my fake ID works every time, I still get palms sweating nervous when they check it.
I quickly took out the ID that says I became 21 a month ago. I gave a nervous smile as he took it.
The guy looked at it, them looked at me, then looked at it, and back at me. He was probably looking at my features. I thought of my long, dirty blond hair that were down and straightened. I bit my lip as I knew they weren't going to be straight for more than 2 hours. They always go back to wavy no matter how much hairspray I use.
The guy handed the ID back.
"Enjoy." He said coldly and moved aside. The girls were already waiting inside and we all started giggling and smiling as we walked inside the club, the loud music consuming my worries away.

We all started squealing as our favorite song came on. We quickly drank our 5th shots and quickly rushed towards the dance floor.

"Got me running other places in my mind, in my mind, how could you even say I never tried, never tried, and you're acting like I been around with every single guy, got me running other places in my mind, in my mind!" We all sang wildly as we jumped and danced around. Some guys tried to dance with us but we quickly closed our circle and laughed it off.
This is what I love: me and my girls just having fun on a Friday night.
I remembered how it all started one year ago.
One day at school, I was running towards class because I was late and when I reached the corridor, I bumped into someone making them fell down the stairs. Painfully.
She tumbled down 2 floors and landed with her face on the hard ground.
I quickly rushed towards the unconscious looking girl and I already saw all the painful ways her parents were going to kill me.
"Oh my god! Are you okay?!" I shouted as I knelt down before her. I thanked god as I didn't see any blood.
As I looked up, I saw 3 girls standing with their mouths open.
"Jocelyn? Are you okay?" One of the girls asked as she knelt before the girl. The other girls knelt down too and suddenly the girl lifted herself up. She looked at me and instead of being angry, hurt or sad, she laughed. She laughed historically.
"That was awesome!" The girl said and I wondered if she didn't hit her head too hard.
Soon the other three girls that seemed to know her started laughing too and no matter how nervous I felt, I bursted out into laughter too. The three girls were Alice, Jasmine and Patty and it was Jocelyn who I pushed mercilessly down the stairs.
After that, we started hanging out and here we are now, one year later.
I was quite a loner before I met the girls. And if I'm alone for too long I get seriously depressed. Even now, I try my best to keep my arms clean from cuts and I have to remember to eat regularly.
I always feel like there's this sadness inside me, and sometimes it gets out through cuts and bruises or tears. But if I ever feel it happening, I always call one of the girls, no matter when or where, they'd always pick up and be there for me. That's why I love them so much.

After a few hours I heard Alice ordering a cab through her phone. The girls were drunk off their asses and I didn't feel quite somber, either.

After the taxi drove off all of the girls except me and Jasmine, we headed towards my house.
"Olivia..." Jasmine said sadly.
"Yes?" I asked, holding her hand.
"Look, I know I'm drunk and shit... but can I sleepover at yours tonight? Jack has been acting up lately..."
Jack. That son of a fucking bitch. Jack is Jasmine's abusive stepfather and the girls and I always think of '1000 ways to kill Jack the asshole'. Oh how I'd love to cut his balls off.
"Of course, Jas. Do you want to talk about it?" I asked gently but she just shook her head and started silently sobbing. I quickly hugged her tightly to my chest and rubbed her back. Soon we were at my house and we both silently headed to my bedroom.

*Beep, beep*
I groaned loudly and cursed a few words. I felt a strong headache and I quickly sat up. I reached for my phone and stopped the alarm. It was 10am.
I had the appointment at the university in 3hours.
As I stood up, I nearly stepped on Jasmine's face. I quietly walked past her, took a few clothes and rushed towards the shower. She was snoring with her mouth wide open. She was wrapped in my pink blankets and she wore my Mickey Mouse pajamas. Her makeup was smudged all over her face and her legs and arms were tossed widely across the floor. She looked so hilarious I took a few pics of her and sent them to the girls. After laughing silently under my chin I closed the doors to the bathroom and took a shower.

My mouth dropped open as I stood in front of the building. It was huge and beautiful.
I have to get in here.
I took a deep breath and clumsily walked inside.

I straightened up as I walked into a massive room that was painted in mint and dark red. What a funny combination, yet it looked so beautiful. There were 3 people sitting in front of me on a long table. Two women and one man. I shook my hand with them all and took the seat across them.
"Hello, Olivia. Please tell us more about yourself." The woman on the left side said gently and I nodded.
This is it. Get a grip, Olivia.
"Um... so... my name is Olivia Roberts and I'm 17 years old, soon to be 18. I.... um.... I live with my parents, I also have an older sister, she studies music in New York. I... I always loved writing. When I was 8, I always wrote short stories for competitions in our school. I had the first place three time in a row, and the second place 2 times in a row. There's just something about books that fascinates me. There's always an another page to turn or another book to read or another chapter to write. It's like living endless journeys and adventures. And um... this University is my chance to get better at it and a chance to make my dreams come true. Even my family and friends always loved my stories, they always believed in me and supported me no matter what. That's why I want to go to this university. Not only for myself, but also to make them proud." I held my breath. They all had unemotional expressions and the two women looked at each other and then back at me.
"Do you have the example with you, Miss Roberts?" The man asked coldly and I clumsily nodded. I nervously reached for my bag and took out the neatly ordered papers. It was a fragment from one of my books. It was the best chapter I ever wrote so I decided to use it as my example. I nervously handed the papers to the woman in the middle.
"Thank you, Miss Roberts. That'll be all. Our decision will be send to you at the beginning of next week." The woman said and I nodded my head. I took a deep breath and nervously stood up and exited the room.

"Jas, are you still at mine's?" I asked through the phone.
"Um... yeah I am, why? How did the interview go?"
"Invite the girls over. I just really fucked up."

"It was awful! I started talking passionately and desperately about writing and I'm pretty sure none of it made sense! Killl meeee!" I shouted as I buried my head into the pillow. The girls chuckled and sighed.
"I bet it wasn't that bad. And even if it was there are other available universities. It's not the end of the world, Olivia." Patty reassured me and gave me a weak smile. Suddenly Jocelyn walked into the room with her hands full of vodka. One Sex On The Beach and the other Jack Daniel's.
The girls started chuckling but I looked at Jocelyn if she was serious.
"Jocelyn, it's 3 o'clock." I said carefully, she looked at me sharply and raised her eyebrows.
"So? Let's just get wasted." She answered bluntly.
"You got pretty wasted last night, it's my parents' alcohol anyway, they would kill me if.... wait... Did you look through my parents stuff?!" The girls stiffened as the tension between me and Jocelyn grew.
"Oh, come on, Olivia! It's not like we know each other since yesterday. And why do you always have to make such a fuss out of everything? It's Saturday and we want to have some fun. It's not our fault you're moody because you fucked up your future." The girls' eyes widened.
"Oh, why won't you shut up, Jocelyn. All you ever say are mean and stupid things. But guess what, you don't get to go through my or my parents' stuff without my permission and I didn't fuck up my future, actually, I'm pretty sure it went well but at least I'm trying and not hiding behind my parents' money." Me and Jocelyn were the only ones standing up. It was the first time me and her got into a fight. We were nearly in front of each other.
"Oh why won't you go drown yourself you little depressive bitch-"
*Slap!*
The girls gasped and Jocelyn held her cheek.
She knew.
She knew I had hard times and yet she said that.
I felt hurt, betrayed and angry.
Jocelyn was always the wild kind, but never thought she would say something so mean so easily.
"Get out!" I screamed and the rest of the girls stood up immediately. They rushed towards the doors and within seconds they were out. Including Jocelyn.
I fell onto my couch and curled up into a ball.
Did she mean it?
I sat in silence and just stared blankly at the family photo in front of me on the wall.
I jumped as my parents walked through the doors, giggling.
"Olivia! Are you home?" I heard my mum shout as she walked into the living room. She saw me and grew a huge smile. I could never keep it in in front of her, she already saw something was wrong so she quickly took off her coat and boots.
"Honey, what's wrong?" She asked concerned as she sat next to me.
"I got into a fight with Jocelyn." I said tearing up and she hugged me tightly.
"Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong?" I heard my dad whisper as he knelt before me.
"She got into a fight with Jocelyn." My mum answered quietly and I started sobbing.
I hated when they see me like this.
So weak, and childish.
I wanted to be strong and independent but every small thing drove me over the edge. For a few months now, maybe a year, I felt this emptiness, this dark hole inside of me as if something was ripped away from me, but I could never figure out what it was.