I led Jake back to our building relying on my memory alone to get us back. To my surprise we didn't get absolutely lost considering neither one of us had a phone anymore. If my memory failed me, we would most definitely still be searching the district for our hideout. I chalked it up to the fact I had studied the map so closely earlier when I was trying to find Jake that I practically had the map etched into my memory.

As if the long walk back wasn't quiet enough, Jake went straight to the shower room to clean up without even sparing me a second glance, leaving me in the middle of warehouse to my guilt. Even though he didn't say anything, I knew he was still angry that I had showed up. The night certainly would have gone very differently if I had stayed behind and just waited. What I didn't understand was why he sent me the details for the CCTV login. If he didn't intend for me to find him, why did he send that information to me?

I sighed and looked over the state of my very being. I was an absolute mess of dirt and dried sweat. My clothes were barely hanging on with how torn and burnt they had become. Wincing in pain I lifted my arm to examine my burns. Debris was stuck to my dead skin around blisters that had already starting to form. Examining my wrists more closely, I saw open wounds where the zip tie had cut into my skin. I knew I had to clean my wounds as soon as possible to reduce the risk of infection, but with the adrenaline out of my system, every small movement was excruciating. It would've been best to seek professional medical attention, but that was a luxury we couldn't afford. Never had I missed my old life as much as I did then.

A series of sudden bangs followed by a roar of screaming interrupted my train of thought. I ran to check on Jake and found him fully dressed, standing in the shower. Resting his head against the wall with his eyes closed tight, he let the water run over him, disguising the fact he was sobbing. Stepping closer, I saw he had cracked the tiles with his punches. I jumped into the stall and wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him tight against me. The contact on my burnt skin felt like fire, but I gritted my teeth to endure the searing pain.

As I hugged him, I watched the water running over Jake turn a deep red from his blood soaked clothes. Even though we stood there for several minutes, the water never stopped turning red. It didn't even fade in colour. His clothes were that saturated with blood. Cleaning them under normal circumstances would be difficult. We didn't even have access to laundromat. It was easier to just ditch them and get new ones rather than struggle to handwash these ones.

After a while Jake grew weak and collapsed to the floor. He leant his back against the wall and stared emotionlessly at the red river that flowed from him to the drain. I sat down next to him and rested my head on his shoulder, taking his bloodied and beaten hand into my blistered hand. We sat there so long that the hot water started to turn cold. Somehow I had to get us out of there before we got sick, but finding the words to encourage Jake to get up seemed impossible. After a while Jake lifted our clasped hands and twisted his wrist to have a better look at my burnt arm. Glancing at him, I saw the realisation hit him.

Without a word, Jake stood up, then helped me to my feet. Ignoring the running water, he stepped out of the stall and rummaged through our bag for his first aid kit. Not wanting to waste any more water, I turned it off while he pulled out the tweezers from the kit. He grabbed my elbow and lifted my forearm up closer to his face so he had a better view. Then, one piece at a time, he picked the debris away carefully from the open wounds. He was so focused on making sure he got everything out that he ignored the water droplets running down his face from his wet hair. He did not break concentration once.

Once he was satisfied that he had removed all the pieces of debris, he took out one of his shirts, twisted it up and gestured for me to bite on it. I opened my mouth hesitantly and he put the shirt gently in. Not wasting another moment he poured the antiseptic solution on my burns, letting it wash away the specks of dirt. I bit down on the shirt and screamed at the top of my lungs. Jake gave me an empathetic look, but he gripped my arm tight to keep me from pulling away. As the pain finally started to subside, he moved to the other arm and began the process again. I could no longer keep back the tears as the pain was unbearable. I shut my eyes tight and tried to think about anything else, but there was no way I could ignore the pain. Suddenly the hot burning pain turned to a cooling relief. I opened my eyes and watched as Jake gingerly applied a burn ointment to my arms. As he worked, his expression slowly softened back to the Jake I knew.

"Regular pain relief won't be enough for this," he mumbled.

I paused for a minute before responding, "You want me to take something heavier."

"You won't be able to sleep otherwise," he pushed.

"I won't be able to sleep regardless," I pointed out.

"You have to. You have to rest," he frowned as he finished with the ointment. "You need to let yourself heal."

Jake turned and pulled out a cloth bandage and wrapped it loosely around my right arm. When he finished, he cut it and then wrapped my left arm.

"I am not going to leave you alone to rest," I glared.

"I will be fine," he shook his head.

I rolled my eyes in disbelief, but I was unable to find the energy to argue with him.

"Fine. Whether you sleep or not is your choice, but there is no reason for you to endure the pain when I can give you relief," he pushed.

"The last time I was knocked out for almost an entire day," I refuted.

"That was a miscalculation on my part," he sighed. "I will give you half the dose. You shouldn't... you shouldn't fall unconscious, but it should at least take the edge off. Please, I can't bear to see you hurt like this." Jake's face twisted in despair. "Not for my past. Not because I failed you."

I grabbed his face with my hands and pulled myself closer, "Jake, you did not fail me."

"How can you say that? Look at you! You were never meant to get hurt!" he exclaimed as a tear ran down his cheek. "I failed to protect you! If I failed now against Cyan, how can I protect you from..." He choked up and couldn't continue, but I knew what he meant.

"Jake, these burns are my fault," I admitted. "I started the fire."

Jake looked at me shocked, "You started the fire?"

I averted my eyes to avoid his gaze, "I kicked the candles over. I was trying to distract Cyan so I could get to you."

"You started the fire?" he repeated. "Knowing what you knew, you started the fire?"

I closed my eyes in guilt, "I did."

I could hear Jake's breathing become unsteady. "I told you to trust me."

"I know. I realise now that I should have," I winced. "I was afraid. I was afraid I would lose you again. I couldn't, Jake. I couldn't bear that again."

"MC, you are the key," his voice cracked. "You are the key to my sanity. It begins and ends with you. I beg of you, tread carefully."

I opened my eyes and was met with a look of desperation. "Jake, I did not intend for things to get so out of control."

"Do you know who you sound like right now?" he narrowed his eyes.

It took me a moment before I realised he was referring to Richy's testimony. I lowered my head in shame, "I'm sorry."

"For now on, do what I say. And when I say to take the medicine, just fucking take it," he pulled away and burst out of the shower room.

I took a deep breath as I watched the door shut close again. The room was suddenly so cold and silent, save the sound of water dripping from the shower head. I suddenly became painfully aware of my wet clothes. Carefully I removed them and redressed into dry clothes. By the time I exited, Jake had prepared water with h'is pain medication dissolved into it already. He shoved it in my direction and stared at me intensely until I drank all of it.

"You knew where to find it?" I asked softly as I swirled the remaining drops of water around.

"There's nothing you can hide from me," he said abruptly.

I had to resist the urge to test his declaration. Sass now would only make matters worse.

"You shouldn't have been put in a situation where you felt you had to use that method of distraction," he said suddenly.

He averted his gazea to avoid eye contact. He was trying his hardest to excuse my decision, but I couldn't tell if he bought it. A water droplet ran down his face, which reminded me he was still in his wet clothes.

"Jake, go get changed. You're going to get sick," I insisted.

Jake sighed, then walked past me to get changed back in the shower room. While I stayed there and waited for him to emerge again, I heard him kick the bag against the wall. This time I left him to his frustration. When he came out, he had his spare hoodie on with the hood up, over his head concealing much of his face. His hands were shoved into his pockets. He looked at me from under his hood, surprised that I was still standing there, then turned away and headed upstairs.

"Jake!" I called out to him.

"Someone needs to monitor the cameras," he grumbled.

Shaking my head, I followed him up the stairs. "Jake, you need to rest too!"

"I'm fine!" he snapped.

"This is the furthest from fine!" I stressed.

Jake sat down at his desk in a huff, "There will be police swarming the area. I need to keep an eye on their movements!"

"Ok, bring the cameras up on your screen. We'll watch them together," I compromised.

Jake rolled his eyes and typed away at his laptop. He brought up the CCTV system and flicked through several cameras surrounding our building. I pulled over one of the spare chairs to sit next to him, but he didn't adjust his position at all.

"Please, Jake. Can we talk about this?" I pleaded.

"No," he said abruptly.

"Fine, I'll talk. I admit, tonight was a disaster. Nothing went as I had planned. It is clear that I lack the skills you have. It is clear I am pretty fucking useless," I thought out loud.

"You're not-" Jake sighed and closed his eyes. "You're not useless. I am. When it mattered the most, I am the one who froze and couldn't do anything."

"I ruined your plan," I frowned. "None of that would have happened if I had just stayed out of it."

"That is true," he unexpectedly agreed with me. I slapped his arm and he yelped. "What?"

"You're meant to make me feel better about it," I frowned.

"You want me to lie? Because it would be a lie," he protested.

"Then tell me, why the hell did you send me the instructions for operating the CCTV system if you didn't want me to find you?" I questioned. "Because to me, it seemed like it's what you wanted."

"Is that what you thought?" he looked at me baffled. "I sent you those instructions so you could monitor your own situation while I was gone! To do exactly what we're doing now! Keeping an eye out for our pursuers! I didn't want you to be waiting here blind to your surroundings! I wanted you to have ample time to run if you had to!"

I stared speechlessly at him. It never occurred to me that his intention was something so simple. Even when he had been kidnapped, beaten, restrained, and forced to hack for Cyan, he was so worried about me back here that he secretly sent me the instructions to make sure I could look after myself.

"Oh," was all I could muster.

"Oh?" Jake shook his head. "I killed Cyan tonight. For fuck's sake, I killed the man that saved me from self-destructing! I owed him my life and I killed him!"

"Jake, he was drug dealer and I dare not ask what else! He monetized off destroying people's lives. No, he relished in it!" I argued.

"He saved me!" Jake repeated. "What part of that do you not understand!?"

"Jake, even though I highly doubt you needed him to save you, the only reason he would've ever helped you was to use you," I pointed out. "Nothing he gave was for free. The truth is you owed him nothing."

"You forced me to kill him!" Jake turned his chair angrily to face me. "If you had stayed here like you were meant to, he would still be alive! His blood is on your hands!"

I leant back in my seat, forced to accept that I would get no where with him on this. "Jake, I received a response from the psychologist. Tomorrow- no, tonight we will go meet with him at his office."

Jake was quiet for a while, eventually turning his attention back to this laptop, "Fine."

I stared at Jake while at a loss of words. I had expected more resistance on visiting the doctor. I couldn't help but wonder if his acceptance of seeking professional help would be a shallow one. I had to accept the win no matter how small. Time would tell just how committed to the cause he actually was.