A/N: TRIGGER WARNING - Trauma, high impact violence leading to death, mental instability.

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Writing a plea to a psychologist to see your on-the-run boyfriend was no easy task. I tried my hardest to explain that his fear of being chased and persecuted were unfortunately very real and not a delusion, but he was buckling under the stress of it and the near-death experiences he faced as a result. He kept acting self-destructively and the risk of becoming suicidal again was unfortunately very real. I added that he exhibited very violent outbursts without going into detail. If I had added detail, the doctor would definitely have tried to commit him to an institution, and that would be disastrous. The more I reread what I wrote then more I realised how bad it looked and scaled it back. I removed detail, keeping it vague.

I glanced up from Jake's laptop. Jake was working on the other side of the desk on the owner's computer. He had broken into the computer with such ease that it unnerved me. He looked so at home and relaxed at a computer like it was where he belonged. There was even an innocent, childlike quality to his expression as he worked. He was busy building a fake online history for my new pseudonym, Melanie Chase, along with a plausible relationship track record with his pseudonym, Karl Vogel. He was even able to digitally modify photos he found online to look like us to sell the story that we've been together for the good part of a year. The speed at which he was able to generate it all made it clear it was the same method scammers used to create fake social media accounts for bots. I had to wonder how often he did this since he knew exactly what to do. After a few minutes of me staring at him, he looked up and smiled at me so innocently. In that moment I couldn't understand how he was the same man that bashed another man's head in retaliation for threatening us.

Maybe I shouldn't mention his violent outbursts. I wanted the doctor to feel comfortable meeting with Jake. I wanted him to bring stability back to his mind. There was a monster lurking in his head that kept toying with his sanity. If we couldn't get rid of it, we had to help Jake tame it so he could go back to the man I knew. That ended up being my final plea in the email. I signed it as Melanie, then took one last look at the email before hitting send and immediately closing the laptop.

"It's done," I sighed while rubbing my face. "I need a drink. A strong one."

"We only have wine right now," Jake shrugged.

"That'll do!" I jumped up and practically skipped over to the wine fridge.

As I entered the kitchen, I saw the clock and noticed it was already after 5 PM. It occurred to me that I still hadn't heard from Lilly about the parole decision. I pulled out my phone and checked again, but there were still no messages from her. So, I sent her a quick message asking if there had been any updates. Then putting my phone down on the kitchen counter, I went into the wine fridge and browsed through the selection of reds. Given they were all names I had never heard of and probably way outside my usual wine budget of $20, I decided it was best to just to choose the one with the most interesting name. As I popped open the bottle and poured myself the first glass, I heard my phone beep to notify me of an incoming private message. As soon as I finished pouring myself a rather generous glass, I picked up my phone again and checked it, but there was no message. I opened the app just to be sure and even though I could see Lilly was online, there was no response from her. Baffled, I took my phone and my glass back to the home office.

"Jake? I think there's something wrong with this phone," I frowned.

"Why? What's happening?" he asked.

"I sent Lilly a message and I heard it beep, but there's nothing there," I explained.

"Strange. It could be a bug with the app," he suggested. "Like a delayed notification or something."

"Could you look at it?" I questioned.

"What do you expect me to do with it?" he raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"I don't know, something techy?" I shrugged.

He pinched the bridge of his nose like I had asked him to turn water into wine, "How about we test to see if you can receive incoming messages?"

"Sure, ok," I nodded.

Jake picked up his phone and quickly typed a message. My phone beeped in my hand a couple of seconds later.

???: Hi :)

I smiled as soon as I saw the message. It had been so long since I last saw one of his emoticons that it brought back such warm memories.

"So, I take it you can receive messages?" he teased.

I bit my lip and sent a response to him.

MC: Hi! Care to join me? 😉🍷

Jake checked his phone and laughed, "I am in the middle of something right now, but give me a few minutes, ok?"

"Ok," I tried my hardest to hold back my cheeky smile but failed miserably.

I sauntered out of the room and took my glass of wine out to the penthouse balcony. It was just warm enough to be in just my t-shirt and panties thanks to a day of summer sun. Sitting down at the outdoor table, I sipped my drink while taking in the setting sun over the city. My phone beeped again and I checked it immediately as if I had to catch the message before it disappeared on me.

Lilly: They denied Richy his parole.

MC: What? Really!?

Lilly: Yes, we did it.

MC: That's great!

Lilly: I have to go. Work calls.

MC: Yeah, no problem. Talk to you later.

Lilly: Yes, I would like that.

Lilly is now offline.

I leant back in the chair and let out a sigh of relief. Somehow it didn't feel real. After everything I thought for sure we had lost. Well, a victory was still a victory and this one I would definitely take. While thinking back on the events that unfolded at the hearing, I finished my glass of wine. I was about to get up to refill it when Jake suddenly appeared from behind with the bottle and poured me a new glass.

"Guess what!" I beamed.

"What?" Jake asked as he finished topping up my glass.

"Richy was denied parole!" I grinned.

"Really?" he walked around to the other side of the table and sat down. He took a swig straight from the bottle.

"I know, it's such a surprise after everything that happened. Maybe they actually took your story into consideration," I shrugged between sips.

"That would be a first," he scoffed. "Then I suppose a celebration is in order."

"Yes, although it feels weird to be celebrating keeping a man imprisoned," I commented before finishing my glass again.

"A guilty man. Keeping a guilty man imprisoned," he clarified then topped up my glass again.

"You didn't drug this wine, did you?" I questioned as I picked up the glass.

Jake took another swig from the bottle. "Seeing how I'm drinking the same wine as you, you tell me. Did I drug it?"

"That would be silly, to drink the drugged wine as well," I reasoned.

"Unless I laced it with a hallucinogen," he snickered.

"That would certainly make the night more interesting," I joked uncomfortably. "You didn't though, right?"

He sighed, "No, I did not. It will take me time to regain your trust, won't it?"

"Yes, it will," I answered matter-of-a-factly.

Jake winced, "MC, I know I'm not always... in control. I know that's probably not what you want to hear when you've literally put your life in my hands."

"That's why I want you to see Dr. Cumming, you understand that right?" I questioned.

"Can I be honest with you though? I'm not the same person and I may never be. I don't want you to get your hopes up in thinking I can be fixed," he sighed.

"We're not fixing you, Jake. We're helping you regain control of your life," I clarified.

"You don't know what happened that day. I do," he glanced up at me to see if I would react. "You already know that I remember?"

"Yes, I do. Trix told me you tried to drown the memories with alcohol," I admitted.

He nodded while looking down at his hands. "I did things I'm not proud of. Things I can never forget."

"You don't need to tell me," I put my hands on top of his to assure him.

"No, I should tell you before I tell some doctor I never met before," he scratched his head uncomfortably.

"About the two agents you killed?" I asked.

He looked at me confused. "I didn't tell Trix that."

"Their deaths were mentioned during the parole hearing," I pointed out.

"Oh," he averted his eyes away from me. "It's probably easier if I start from the beginning, from when I saw the wave of fire headed towards me. It was like a wall of flames. I saw the puddle beside me and I dived into it. It was pretty big. A few inches deep, enough to cover half of me. It wasn't clean, but I didn't have a chance to even consider that. I took a deep breath and immersed my head in that water for as long as I could. I didn't even know how long I needed to stay down, I just knew I needed to stay under for as long as possible. At some point the burning scaffolding fell on top of me, simultaneously weighing me down and burning my back. By then, I was running out of oxygen. I struggled to push it off of me and when I did, I collapsed face up into the contaminated water," he paused. "And that's how your burns got infected," I nodded.

"I tried to catch my breath, but the air... the air was shit. My lungs burned from the lack of oxygen then burned from the hot air. I could hardly breathe. I thought I was going to die, but then I remembered this photo of you I saw online. You were so bright and so happy. I remembered thinking how much I wanted to see that smile in person. We were supposed to meet, remember? I was supposed to experience that smile. I couldn't let myself die until I did.

"So, I struggled to get myself back up onto my feet and find my way out, but an agent found me first. He ordered me to my knees and when I didn't immediately comply, he hit his rifle into my back, into my burns. I fell to my hands and knees, and he kicked me in the ribs. It hurt so much, MC. I saw his combat knife strapped to his leg and I just acted without thinking. Before I know it, I am stabbing his thigh, on the inside, hitting the major artery there," his hands trembled. "He fell onto his back. I got on top of him. I put my hands on his throat and squeezed, and I kept squeezing until life vanished from his eyes," he raised his hands up so I could see they were shaking. "That's a sight I'll never forget."

Jake shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "I heard another agent approaching so I ducked behind a boulder with the dead man's rifle. The agent slowly walked over to check on his fallen comrade. I went up behind him and hit him in the back of the neck with the stock of the rifle. He fell over and I knocked his helmet away before he could react. Then I kept hitting him in the head until he was a bloody pulp. I didn't have you there to stop me then, not like the other day. There was a lot of blood, MC. A lot of blood."

He paused before continuing, "I realised I had to be smarter. I got lucky with those two, but there was no way I could take on the entire squad by myself. I climbed into the rafters and found a quiet space to wait them out. Of course, I was in so much pain, and with the infection starting to take hold, I spent a lot of the time up there unconscious."

"Your voice woke me from the feverish dream I was in, but I meant it when I said I couldn't act. I could barely open my eyes. I blinked and you were gone again. I dug my nails into my wounds to keep me from falling unconscious again, and I dropped down from the rafters. Well, fell down is more accurate. It was dark by then, the fires had been extinguished, but I used the light on the rifle to find my way to an exit. Honestly, I don't know how I found the strength to walk, everything hurt worse than hell itself. And then, as you know, I collapsed on the side of the road while trying to get the attention of passing cars," his shoulders dropped. "So now you know... everything. Everything I did."

"Jake..." I struggled to find the right words.

"It was like my body moved on its own. I was there witnessing everything unfold. I could feel it all happen, but I couldn't- I couldn't stop. Part of me enjoyed it, you know, enjoyed the killing. If I hadn't stopped myself when I did, I probably would've just kept going through them all. Happily killing them until either I ran out of bodies, or they killed me. It wasn't self-defence, I'm not even going to pretend it was," he added.

"No, Jake, it was. You were scared, badly injured and cornered with gun-toting agents after you. For all you knew, they were there to kill you," I argued. "You were frightened for your life, and you acted accordingly. It's easy to look back and judge in hindsight. To say that you could've done something differently is not fair. You didn't know all the variables like you do now."

"They didn't used to shoot first back then," he clarified. "Now they do. Now because I am seen as a violent and deadly threat. Because I am a violent and deadly individual with no regard for life. I can't even blame them for that reputation. That was my own doing."

I sighed and put my hands over his, "Let's go inside."

"You want to sleep with a psychopath?" He questioned. "That's what I am, MC. A fucking psychopath. One that looks at you and sees all the ways I could hurt you."

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

"No! Of course not!" he exclaimed. "But right now, I could grab your head and bash it into the table."

"But you won't," I pointed out. "Knowing you are capable of violence and you actually doing it are two very different things, Jake. You're stronger than this, whether you believe it or not."

"Your pain yesterday...," he trembled. "I drugged you partly because you were in pain, but also because your pain was arousing me. You need to leave, MC. It is a mistake to let you stay."

"I'm not leaving, Jake. I won't let you be alone ever again," I assured Jake. "You can overcome this. Together we will overcome this."

"I will hurt you," Jake looked up at me with pleading eyes. "Next time I may not have enough self-restraint to stop me from...," he trailed off as he couldn't even speak the words, but I knew what he meant.

"Jake, even if you don't believe in yourself, I believe you will never cross that line," I squeezed his hands. "This why we're getting you help, ok? I won't leave you. C'mon, let's go inside."

Jake nodded and we both got up. I took his hand and led him back inside to the master bedroom. As soon as we got through the door, he tugged my hand. I turned around just as he grabbed me by the back of my neck to pull me into a deep, heated kiss. He broke away and lightly urged me to sit down. I obliged and sat on the edge of the bed. When I saw him grab his black leather belt, I put my wrists together and held them out for him. To my surprise though, he wrapped it around his own neck and fastened it. Then he knelt on the floor submissively and held up the end of the belt for me to take. I leant over and stroked his cheek while looking deeply into his eyes. His will was unfaltering. There wasn't a single glimmer of defiance. He wanted me to take control of him, to make sure he stayed in line. Slipping my fingers around the belt slowly, I held it firmly, giving it a soft pull to bring his lips up to mine. I kissed him intensely and he reciprocated willingly.

Shifting my grip to the end of the belt, I scooted back on the bed. As I raised my foot to bring it up onto the bed, Jake grabbed my ankle and brought my foot to his lips instead. While keeping his eyes locked on mine, he slowly kissed up the inside of my foot, up my ankle and my calf. Falling back onto the bed, I involuntarily moaned. He took it as a sign to keep going up my leg, climbing onto the bed as he went. As he went up my inner thigh, he groaned with lust and bit my thigh out of passion. When he realised what he did, he kissed it and looked up at me apologetically.

"You need to stop me, or I will devour you," he warned.

I tugged on the belt, forcing his head down, closer to between my legs, "I'll decide when to stop you."

Jake grinned devilishly, happy to obey his new master.