Ava

I bit back a chuckle as I looked up at Elias, who stood like a statue beside me, jaw clenched, eyes storming. The heels made it possible for me to reach him without standing on my toes and I pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth. "I thought you liked the dress?"

"I goddamn love it." He muttered, tightening his arm around my waist. "But so will other people. Other men. I don't like the thought of them seeing you and thinking things only I am allowed to think."

"Well, if it's any consolation, they'll see me, and they'll see you. And they'll know I'm with you. So let's give them a show."

He tilted my chin up, kissing me square on the mouth without a protest for me. His tongue tangled with mine, caressing, a strange kind of fond in his mouth that moment. He tasted like a lazy summer morning, his lips pillowy soft, not making it easy for me to let go. I grasped his jaw lightly, and shivered when he grazed his knuckles against the bare skin of my back. 

"Show enough?" He murmured, curling a strand of my hair on his finger, letting his teeth sink into my bottom lip, making me groan softly.

"Mhm." 

He chuckled, wrapping an arm around my waist again, then walking us to the ballroom. It was big and grand, rich. A huge chandelier hung in the very middle, people scattered everywhere. A server came to us with a glass of champagne and I looked at my surroundings with surprise. "Do you know any people here?"

"Ava?" I heard my name, and I turned around. Robert came to me with a smile, offering me a handshake. I'd heard he was a big softie at heart, and I'd begun to realise that was true since the day he came to my office to apologise. "What a surprise!"

"My friend's donating." I said. 

"That's wonderful. This is my wife." He gestured towards the woman at his arm. "She's wanted to meet you for a long time."

"She has?" I raised an eyebrow at the woman who smiled at me and gave me a handshake. I gestured towards the man beside me, feeling his dominant stare. "Elias, my boyfriend. That's Robert, a colleague. "

"Pleasure." He said, Robert smiled in return. The couple left in a while after making small talk, and we walked further inside.

Alexander met us at the far end of the ballroom, and he stood there with Paige. I watched through amused but wide eyes at their closeness, making sure to get the details afterwards. Paige looked at me and bit her lip, holding back a smile. When my eyes met Alex, he was smirking, innocently wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

Elias chuckled beside me. "Is it weird that I'm not surprised?"

"You knew she'd say yes?"

"I told you they understood each other. And they've known each other for a long time. We started with those aspects, you and I, look at us now."

I smiled, walking towards the both of them. Alex clapped Eli's back, then enveloped me in one of the warmest hugs I'd ever gotten. Aiden was travelling so he couldn't make it. Donors had to give a speech, so Alex left shortly after. 

"Tell me everything." I whispered to Paige.

"Well, we're taking it slow, but we're trying." She said. "I'd been a bit cautious about this ruining our friendship, but he gave me enough reassurance to make me comply."

"Slow is good." I said.

Alexander gave a beautiful speech. I'd listened to him in awe, wide eyes and an open mouth. I knew that was the reaction of most people in the room. He spoke flawlessly, almost unreal. One could almost feel themselves in that situation.

Dinner was wonderful. The atmosphere was calm and serene, and a light music played in the background. It was my first time to a charity ball event and the experience was amazing enough to return. I did donate, but I never attended these.

"You ready to go?" Elias murmured in my ear.

"Yeah."

We bid our farewell to the Alexander and Paige. Elias kept his arm around my waist tight, enough for me to know he could very well have me at his mercy anytime he wanted. The streets were not as busy as I'd expected them to be, and while I wanted to explore through the window, Eli's fingers trailing under my dress weren't helping much.

"I want to try something new today." He broke the silence. 

"What?" I asked.

"Something that requires you trusting me more than you do yourself. Do you?"

"I trust you, Elias. More than anything. You told me you don't do things I won't like, right?"

"I don't know how you'll feel about this one. I don't know how I feel about it." He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "It will be overwhelming, Ava. Promise me you'll tell me if it's not okay."

Anticipation flew through my nerves as we rode up the elevator to his penthouse. He didn't initiate anything until we were inside the four walls of his house. I reached up on my toes to kiss his lips, and he stroked my cheekbone, keeping his mouth gentle and soft. My hands were feverish as I removed his blazer.

He didn't disconnect our lips, but turned us around and walked us to the bedroom. Pushing the straps of my dress down my shoulders, he left it at my waist, bending down to bite my neck, suck hard. His fingers wrapped around my breasts, tight enough to make me cry out. 

Elias pulled away abruptly, and pushed me down on the bed. His eyes were dark, controlling as he undid the buttons of his shirt, pulling the tie away from his neck. His hand reached my waist, pushing my dress further down until I kicked it away. I lay naked as he continued staring at me. His gaze made me want to squirm, but I controlled the urge.

"Hands." He ordered softly, pushing my legs apart. I moved my hands in front and he grabbed them, joining them together, wrapping his tie around the both of my wrists and pushing my bound hands back, above my head.

Then he stared again. His eyes first looked into mine, then at my lips, then sliding down to my neck where they darkened when they saw his marks. They lingered at my breasts for a few seconds, then went further down. "You look beautiful like this, Ava." He rasped out. "No one will see you like this. No one but me."

I felt his breath hit my sex, making me arch my back. He pushed me down by my chest, holding my gaze. "Stay still. Don't move your hands."

It was the hardest thing I'd ever done. He hadn't bound me completely, and my body moved on its own accord as he began his torture. His tongue licked me slow at first, then his fingers replaced his tongue when he attached his mouth to my clit, tugging hard. I was withering by the time he made me climax. 

 "We have done this before. This isn't new. Why were you so cautious?"  I asked just as he got up to unbutton his pants.

His smile faltered, and he gave me his hands. I looked at it in confusion, bringing my bound wrists in front, placing them in his outstretched hands. He lifted me up with ease, untying his tie from my wrists, bending down to kiss my lips.

I stood on my toes, wandering my hands into his hair. He pulled back with a pant, cupping my face. "Tell me you trust me. Tell me you know I won't ever hurt you."

"I trust you. Elias, what's going on?"

"Tell me you won't run away."

"I won't go anywhere, baby. What's wrong?" I cupped his cheek.

He took a deep breath, bringing his hand up. It still had the tie, and he searched my eyes for any kind of protest as he blinked, placing it over my eyes, cutting off my vision. I clutched his shoulders when I felt him tie the cloth behind my head, suddenly feeling all my senses heighten.

He moved away suddenly. His body disappeared and I couldn't feel his warmth near me. I tried not to panic, but my palms sweated until I felt his breath on my shoulder. He pressed his lips against my skin, giving me some reassurance. "I'm not leaving you." His voice was raw with promise, and I knew he wasn't just talking about right now. "Ever."

When he disappeared again, I didn't panic like earlier. He had asked for my trust and I had given it to him. Elias cared about my comfort more than he did for his, and there was no fear now. 

Not until I felt him again, this time in front of me. He tilted my chin up, pressing his lips to mine softly. "Repeat you safe word for me, amor."

"Dusk." I couldn't recognise my own voice.

"Again."

"Dusk. What's going on?"

"If you ever want to stop, if you have the simplest, stupidest of doubts, you say it, okay? That word is for you, and you have to tell me if you're not okay. Tell me you understand that."

"Elias, what the fuck is going on?"

He kissed me again. His hands tugged my hair, trailing down softly till the middle of my back. He pressed my chest closer to his, his hands going further down and cupping my ass. Massaging my cheeks in his hands, he spread them apart. And then I felt his finger against that part of my body no one had ever touched. 

"No." I said against his lips in panic. "No, no."

His finger froze, but then he resumed again. I hadn't said my safe word. He wouldn't stop until I said that word. Anything else wouldn't work. And I felt it on the tip of my tongue. But I didn't say it. I didn't know why.

I cried out when he pushed it a little inside, my head dropping down on his shoulder, my teeth sinking into his skin to prevent any further cries. I felt the lube on his finger, and he kept one of his hands in my hair, stroking them softly.

"Elias, no, please-"

"Say the word. Say the word, Ava. Please." I could have been wrong, but his voice sounded pleading. 

His hand tightened in my hair when I didn't. He pushed his finger further inside, little by little. I felt so full I wanted to throw up. My nails dug in his back, I felt tears in my eyes.

"You're doing so good, amor." He murmured, his voice strained. He sounded as if he were in pain. I didn't understand why. "So good. I'm so proud of you."

He kept his finger inside me for a few more seconds. When he pulled it out I withered in his arms, clutching him tightly, not being able to stop the tears from escaping my eyes when he untied the cloth. I sobbed in his neck as he tightened his arms around my waist. "Shh, baby, it's over. I'm so sorry. Please, I'm so fucking sorry I did that to you. I don't know what came over me. Please, forgive me. We're never doing that again. I promise."

But I wasn't crying because he'd done that. I was crying because I'd let him. I had to say one word to stop him. Just a word. But I didn't. I didn't because I trusted him to not do something that would hurt me. I trusted him to touch me somewhere I had never expected anyone to touch me. I was crying because I didn't know I trusted him enough to do that.

When I looked up from his neck, my heart broke when I saw his face. It was confronted into an expression of pain and longing, his eyes shining with unshed tears. I didn't remember the last time I'd seen him cry. And he was so close to it now.

"Please, I'm sorry. Forgive me." He pleaded. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." I whispered. Bringing my leg up to wrap around his waist, he supported my weight in his arms as I clutched him tightly, wrapping myself around him. "For making me realise how much I trusted you."

"We're never doing that again. I'm never doing that to you. I'm so fucking sorry, Ava."

The fact that he was apologising for putting me in a position like that made me clutch him tighter. He didn't realise I'd given him consent to do it. He didn't realise I was the one who didn't want to stop. He didn't realise I held the power, that I was the one who could stop it, but I didn't. He still blamed himself. 

"Don't you see it?" I brought his face closer to mine. His eyes shone brighter this time. A few tears had already escaped, and I wiped them away, my heart clenching at the thought of him blaming himself and crying over something that I did. "I trust you more than I do myself, Elias. I wouldn't have ever had the courage to do what you just did."

"I shouldn't have. I- fuck. What was I thinking?" He closed his eyes. "I would never hurt you. I'd hurt myself but I would never-"

"Elias, Elias." I spoke through a smile. "Thank you."

He stopped in his apologies, finally looking into my eyes. I saw something click in his when he saw the gratefulness on my face. And when he buried his face in my neck, pushing mine in his, I realised we fit together like a puzzle. When he whimpered and pressed me to his body tighter than I ever thought was possible, I realised this was how it was always supposed to be.

I realised this was dusk. 

-⍣-

A lot of people would comment nasty things when they'd read this scene, solely because they don't realise what it actually means. So I'd request everyone to read this note.

This part of the story wasn't them exploring a new kink. When I wrote this I never had any intention of writing smut. This was about Ava and Elias. And trust. This was all about trust. I will repeat it, this wasn't sex. If you noticed, they didn't even have a penetration. This was about Ava trusting Elias enough to let him do that. And the realisation that followed.

Trust is one of the most important aspects in a relationship, in and out of bed. The fact that she says she let him do something she would have never done on her own shows the tremendous amount of trust she has on him, and this was what this chapter was about. 

This was about opening up and being vulnerable. Ava surrendered herself, and played her part. Elias never used her consent against her, and that was him playing his part. Some of you might say she didn't want to do it and asked him to stop, but she technically didn't. There is a safe word in sexual relationships like theirs for a reason. The safe word is required to stop. She never said it. She had the power, she was in control, and everything happened with her consent and agreement. She could have said the word, but she didn't, which further implies deep down she didn't really want to stop.

Elias also let himself be raw in front of her by showcasing his emotions. He regretted his decision because he couldn't bear the thought of Ava being in pain because of him. When he saw her cry, he thought he'd messed up. He regretted it only because he was afraid of losing her. But at the same time, he didn't realise the trust she had given him at that moment. And that was what this chapter was about. TRUST.

A lot of people would still not understand that this was not about the sexual aspect, but about a mental thing. If you are one of those people, I'm sorry you didn't get your smut. If you left hateful or offending comments, they will be deleted, not because I can't take hate, but because this scene is too sensitive for being hated upon. But to all those who did bother reading this and understand what it meant, I'm grateful to all of you from the bottom of my heart.