Stuff

Gov, during the recounts: Hey dumbass, get over here

Florida: Okay, I'm-

Georgia: Alright give me a minute

Florida, visibly upset: I thought... I was dumbass


Florida: [running around]

Gov: Hey wait up-

Florida: Can't sorry

Gov: I'll kiss you

Florida, stopping: gross


Florida: Just got diagnosed with cool guy syndrome 

Florida: So now I take adderall


California: Get yourself a man that can spell cup

Florida: Fuck you


Gov: Anyways, that was my experience using the Jeremy Renner app. Ram, how's your experience been?

Florida: I spent 47 dollars on accident.

Gov: Huh?

Florida: On the app.

Gov: You spent money on the Jeremy Renner app?

Florida: No, I didn't spend money, I spent 47 dollars.


Florida, looking at a thing: most laughs that you hear on tv shows today were recorded in the 1950s. that means, technically, you're most likely hearing dead people laughing.

Florida: this may be a pretty interesting fact for most people, but I can always hear dead people laughing!

California, in the other room: Florida what the fuck


California [watching Florida walk around with his hat covering his eyes]: I mean he's just fumbling around, blind.

California [still watching Florida]: It's almost metaphoric in a way, how he's... just-...

California: Well now he's just twerking on the wall - that's not a metaphor.


Louisiana, staring at Florida: oh my god, why does that rat have such a sexy walk?!

Louisiana: it's a rat! You can't give the rat.. a sexy saunter when he walks into the room!


Florida: [standing outside with a large sign that says Prom?]

New York: OH MY GOD YES!

Florida: No! Tell California!

New York: California! I'm going to prom with your boyfriend!


Texas: Hey buddy you wanna go?!

California: Yeah I wanna go! Let's go!

Texas: Alright let's go out!

California: Going on a date?

Texas: Yeah come on, let's go on a date

California: Do you want kids?


Florida: This plan is foolproof. Which is good, because I am a fool.


Gov: I don't have dreams that I work towards, I have nightmares that I work away from


Florida: The government's out to get you, NASA's out to get you, the NSA's out to get you, and your sorry ass better believe I'm out to get you.


Texas: Yo, dad! Come over here!

Mexico: Okay-

Utah: I'm coming!

Mexico, internally: But I thought... I was dad....


New York: We finish each other's-

Alaska: Sandwiches

New York: So it was you.


Indiana: I have many hidden talents

Alabama: Like what?

Indiana: I wouldn't know, they're hidden?

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top

Tags: #benbrainard