Florida: Hey man
Louisiana: Wassup dude, how you doin?
Florida: I'm eating bark
Louisiana: You're eating bark?
Florida: I'm eating bark
Louisiana: Like... tree bark? 
Florida: Yeah
Louisiana: What does it taste like
Colorado: Does it taste like maple syrup
Florida: What's an apple taste like?
Colorado: An apple
Louisiana: yeah an apple
Florida: what does bark taste like?
Louisiana: Bark then
California: What is wrong with all of you

Louisiana: [kisses California]
Gov: Don't- don't just kiss people here
California: [voice cracking] why did you kiss me
Louisiana: Because
Louisiana: I just gave you my blessing
Florida: look, it happens man
Florida: do I get your blessing? 
Louisiana: Not yet
Florida:  for the record though, I consent

Louisiana: paddle paddle paddle
Florida: Your hand is really close to my thigh
Louisiana: paddle paddle paddle

Florida: Alright
Florida: Ready? 
Florida: Ready to hate Florida?
Florida: Is Columbia a state?
California: Florida
Florida: Yeah?
California: Florida, Columbia's a country

Florida: I did the thing
Florida: The thing happened
Louisiana: LIFE? 
Florida: yeah, life just happens

Utah: So, Coco, does that mean we're a thing now? 
Colorado: I don't think it was for us to decide
Utah: go away
Utah: so, can we break up now?
Utah: I kind of have a wife and kids
Colorado: Oh! So this whole time, you were leading me on?!
Utah: It's been like three minutes!
Colorado: oh, oh ok
California: Wait what about Nevada?
Colorado: now we need to end the conversation
Utah: Are you cheating on me with Nevada?
Colorado: You had children!

South Carolina: that was meaner than I intended but at the same time fuck you
Indiana, sadly: ok
Ohio: please don't cry
Indiana: I'm gonna tell bama
Ohio: uh oh
South Carolina: no please don't do that
Indiana: I'm gonna call him right now
Indiana: I have him on speed dial
South Carolina: don't- don't- don't do it
Ohio: do it do it do it do it-
South Carolina: Don't do it
Indiana: What if he doesn't answer
Ohio: nah, he'll see it's you and answer
South Carolina: don't do it
Indiana: ok, he's 'soulmate'
South Carolina: [shaking his head]
Indiana: I'm gonna call
South Carolina: Don't you do it
[the phone starts ringing]
South Carolina: NO- NO-
Ohio: [singsong tone] you're gettin' told on 
Ohio: haha nerd
Alabama: Hello? 
Indiana: Bama :(
Alabama: Yeah? Hi? 
Indiana: South Carolina's bullying me right now :(
South Carolina: [shaking his head]
Indiana: can you come get him :(
Alabama: Ok hold on I got you
South Carolina: What?! No! He's lying! He's lying!
Ohio: I hear footsteps
South Carolina: No! He's lying!
Alabama: I'm getting some reports of some bullying over here? 

California: In any cheating movie, the person getting cheated on is the hero. You're Ari Larter, i'm Beyonce.
Florida: I am Beyonce, always.

Gov: Get down you bastards!
Florida: [shoves him]
Gov: i'M NOT ONE OF THEM

California: This isn't parkour! This is swimming!
Florida: I'm a fishy

Texas: California is SO annoying
California, climbing through the window: Heard you talkin shit
Texas: [screams]

Utah, crawling into a washing machine: I'm disgusted
Utah: I'm revolted
Utah: I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, and THIS is the thanks I get?

Florida, at 12 am: IT'S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES
Florida: [screaming]

Gov: What the fuck, Florida

Texas: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting for you to make me a sandwhich
California: Go back to sleep and starve

Florida: What do we want?
Spain: A heartfelt ending to this vine
Florida: What do w- Dad? 
Spain, with his arms open for a hug: That's right, I'm home son

California: What do we want?
Colorado: Weed!
California: When do we want it?
Colorado: Weed! 
California: You already said that
Colorado: What do we want?
California: Wee- I'm confused

Massachusetts: Can I borrow a pencil?
[intense music]
New York, to the camera: Are you kidding? You want a pencil? I'll give you a pencil

New York: Perhaps it is the context of which words are spoken that give them power or meaning
New York, to California: I LOVE YOU

California: [pouring a bowl of lucky charms]
CDC: Do you know what's in those? If you eat enough of those they'll probably kill you!
California: Really?
CDC: Yeah-
California: [furiously emptying the box into his bowl]

Florida: I'm the sand guardian, guardian of the sand!
Louisiana: Poseidon quivers before him!
Florida: Fuck off!

Texas: You ready to fuckin die?!
Florida: No-I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!

Utah: Slow down
Utah: grab your bible
Utah: pray like you're trying to make your soul revival

Florida: Here's a song I wrote about catching feelings
Florida: [strums guitar] what the fu-

Gov: When will you learn?
Gov: When will you learn?
Gov: That your actions have consequences 

[California and Texas fighting]
Colorado: Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle? 

Old DC: aa
Old DC: aaa
Old DC: AAAA

South Dakota: hey everybody today my brother pushed me so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down
South Dakota: the benefits of killing him would be that I would get pushed way less

Florida: [running]
Florida: [falls]
Colorado: Who's there?
Florida: NO ONE FUCK OFF

Florida: I am confusion
Florida: Why is this one Kansas but this one is not Arkansas??
Florida: America explain! Explain! What do you mean it is AR-KAN-SAS?!

Old DC: [crying] I'm gonna take a nap
Florida: You're gonna take a nap?
Old DC: I'm gonna take a nap...right here
Old DC: [curls up on the floor]
Florida: ok, you take a nap