Bora showed Yunho the spacious cafeteria and introduced him to a few of her friends along the way. He got three free meals a day, and they used the opportunity to sit at one of the long tables so Yunho could have a snack and look around the community. 

The powers of espers and guides could manifest at any age, so it came to no surprise to see elders and even children roaming around. Everyone wore variations of their designated colours to make it easy to tell their roles apart. In colourful cliques, they sat together and laughed, like regular coworkers or students. 

Life here wasn't so different after all, but Yunho still felt alienated. When he told Bora about it, she suggested he slept first and took his time to settle in. Before some basic training, he wouldn't get sent out on a mission.

Thus, Yunho's first day in his new home ended. He texted his parents he arrived safely and apologised to his boss at the store for ditching his job to suddenly. After a shower, he rested in his bed for a long time, unable to get used to the foreign walls and mattress. 

When he woke the next day, he received a message from another unknown number. 

To Jeong Yunho

Please come to the medical offices on the second floor by 11 AM to receive a consultation. You will learn your training schedule there.

No sign off, but Yunho assumed these messages were regulated by staff. He checked the clock and got ready, making sure he looked orderly. Bora sent him a message to text her after his consultation so they could eat together and figure out a training schedule that worked for both. Apparently, it was important for esper and guide to be in harmony with each other, especially in life and death situations on the battlefield.

Yunho found the medical wing thanks to the golden plates on the walls. When he made his way inside, its interior resembled the hospital he visited after the incident in Yongsan. The equipment was top-notch and robots rolled around, ready to treat smaller emergencies. Even here, the lofty feeling of an expensive hotel persisted.

Another staff member greeted him at the counter. Her smile was just as kind.

"Are you here for your first consultation?"

Yunho nodded meekly. He handed her his ID, and she checked it for him, before she gave it back with a grin. She beckoned at the corridor behind her, making space for bright offices.

"Room 12."

"Thank you," Yunho muttered as he made his way inside. Bookshelves and medical posters met him. More potted plants, but little personality in the white walls.

Room 12 welcomed him in with an open door, so Yunho knocked on the frame before he ducked inside. A man in a white lab coat awaited him and greeted him with a handshake.

"Jeong Yunho, welcome in. I am Doctor Han, your therapist. We will see each other often." 

When he nodded at Yunho to sit, he complied. The questions on his face must have been open for the world to see, since the doctor began talking as soon as he sank into his seat on the other side of the table.

"All espers are required to keep a close eye on their health, physical and mental. The guides help, but the guides can't diagnose when something goes majorly wrong. I am here to help you understand your powers and what they will do to you."

Yunho fiddled with nervous fingers in his lap.

"I hear they make an impact, yes."

While Doctor Han retrieved his papers, Yunho tried to unwind. He would finally learn what was so special about him. Somehow, he was more terrified than ever before. No grade was as weighty as this.

"Especially yours," Doctor Han replied as he placed the papers in front of Yunho to examine.

"You are a D-class esper, so your powers are weak or not considered particularly helpful in the battle against the demons. However, that doesn't mean they are much easier to harness. To tame them, you need to train your mind and body."

Yunho nodded along, overwhelmed by the array of numbers and diagrams. Not everyone could wield their power as expertly as the top espers of the NEA. Their fame came with their skill.

"Every power is unique, but you have an unfortunate case of bad luck," the doctor continued. Yunho's heart stuttered in his chest. Panicked fingers clutched into each other.

"Bad luck?"

A pen tapped on some information. The medical assessment after he passed out. His headache and his pains.

"Certain powers harm the esper when used. In an example, if your power is poison, an esper poisons themselves in the process of using it on its foes. These powers are terminal for your health. Though training can help you curb them, every use means more harm to yourself until an inevitable untimely death."

Speechless, Yunho stared at the information spread out before him. He didn't understand. He would die? Inevitably? Either of madness or of using his powers?

The doctor checked on his pale face before he continued.

"You can imagine your powers similar to the purpose of a voodoo doll. You connect with the demon you focus on and you can stop them using the command of your mind. Their body will follow what you do. For now, that means you get quickly overwhelmed, and the effect lasts mere seconds. You cannot attack, but you can slow enemies down for other espers to kill."

Frozen, Yunho just listened. Didn't register any of the words. 

"However, that means you also take the damage of the demons you deal with. Say, you are connected while said demon gets stabbed into the arm. Then you also get stabbed into the arm."

A shudder crept down Yunho's spine. Being one with the demons. Resonating their pain. His stomach churned.

"In your case, that doesn't mean a steady loss of health as for a poison user, but it means you will get harmed whenever we require your help. You can train yourself to be less sensitive to the pain and to strengthen the grip you have on your foe. Like that, you can work in defence for us."

Yunho felt faint, but he held up. He remembered the gaze of that demon, its surprise when it couldn't move. Had he let go a second later when the esper stabbed it... Would he also have...?

"D-Does that mean I will get hurt more than I can recover?"

"Most likely. It depends on the volume of rifts, but we must harness your power to the best we can. I am here to keep you sane and your guide will heal you on the battlefield, so most injuries won't be lasting. However, espers with powers like yours have a higher risk of madness."

Defeated, Yunho sunk back in his chair. His vision blurred before him as his fear took overhand.

This was much worse than he thought. He couldn't even go in and be a hero. He would stand to the back, hold on to a demon, praying it wouldn't break free to slash him in two, and watch as his own partners hurt the beasts to cut into Yunho's flesh at the same time.

No esper was like another, but this was too cruel. 

Doctor Han pushed a cup over to Yunho and poured him some tea.

"It's not as bad as it sounds and our medical facilities are top-notch. You can rely on us to patch you back up. But from the perspective of a recently awakened, I expect you would be instinctively afraid of pain. Your training will focus on building the trust in your own body that you won't die and can shoulder more pain."

Yunho's fingers trembled as he focused on wrapping them around his cup. Anything to distract himself from the awful future looming over him.

The printer behind Doctor Han whirred away, and he retrieved the warm paper for Yunho. Showing it to him once more. So nonchalant about his world shattering.

"I put together a training plan for you. Historically, espers with similar powers didn't react well to surgery or medication to ease their pain, so we request you attempt a natural development and discuss your progress with me. Strengthen your body and mind and get used to the idea of pain. That is your goal."

Yunho didn't get to refuse. He was forced to the draft and even if he ran, any prison would send him right back here.

This was what he owed humanity for being blessed with powers.

No, cursed.

When Yunho sat there mutely, the doctor sent him a grin.

"Last time went well, no? Your guide will help you focus on the battlefield, so you can count on them. As a level D, you won't be out too often." Satisfied with his instructions, he gathered his papers and left Yunho with his training plan.

"Check in with me in a week and tell me what you think. I will be in contact with your guide as well, so we can assess your conditions. Thank you for your cooperation. When things get hard, think about your family and loved ones you do this for."

Yunho left the rest of his tea and stood on wobbly feet when the doctor did. They shook hands once more, and Yunho's fingers were clammy and cold.

"See you soon," the doctor told him, and Yunho stumbled away with his stomach in knots. His fingers felt numb around his training paper.

He would die. Out on the field by getting shot by teammates, or because he suffered too many injuries and the madness of the demons.

He would die.

Yunho hastened out of the sick ward before someone could put him in a bed and hook another IV to him. He needed space away from all this. Didn't think it would be this inescapable.

Any esper could die anytime. Any guide or soldier could.

But his death was so predictable.

Yunho made it to his room and sat on his bed to calm himself. Was there no way to avoid this? Could he argue he would only work with people who use non-lethal weapons until he disconnected from the demons?

No, they had no time for that. Yunho was only level D. Nobody of importance.

But he was still a person. And he wanted to throw up at the thought of how much less his life mattered because of the rank put on him.

He rested in his room, exhausted, when Bora found him. Since he didn't lock the door, he grunted at her to come in, and her curious face peered past the wood to spot him defeated on his bed.

"Hey there," she chirped, but she easily realised his condition. "I waited for your message, but I guess it didn't go well. What's the verdict?"

Yunho sat up, but his limbs weighed a ton. He wasn't any more or less afraid of pain than some regular human, but he hated the thought of having to prepare for it to come. 

"I don't want to talk about it right now," he muttered and pushed over his training plan instead. Bora studied it and nodded to herself.

"We can run together. I run every second morning. You will be in groups for some of these and in the gym for others. I guess we could also try meditation. I'm not good at calming down, but they say it would be good for me," she snickered. When Yunho didn't liven up as prior under her energy, she knelt before his bed, peering up at him with worry.

Bleak, Yunho stared at the ground. Wished himself to be normal and back with his family. Working at a convenience store sounded so much fun. When was the last time he went out to eat with his friends?

Suddenly, Bora's face was close to his, and he reeled back, startled awake. A hand jerked out to find her shoulder, but he didn't shove her petite frame. 

"W-What are you doing?" He gasped out, instantly forgetting his worries. Abruptly aware of her innocent pout.

"Guiding?"

"You were about to kiss me. That wasn't guiding," Yunho protested, cheeks burning. When she tilted her head at him, she was adorable, but Yunho fumbled with his embarrassment.

"I-I'm sorry but I just met you... Shouldn't we go out first? You are cute, but... Sorry if I made it awkward for you."

Bora burst out in laughter at his terror. She placed her hands on his knees, snickering up at his flushed face and the stressed fingers messing up his hair.

"Oh, you cutie," she cooed at him. "You have no idea what guiding entails, do you?"

Offended by her giggles that knew something he didn't, Yunho adjusted his glasses and tried to will away his blush.

"How could I, I just joined..." He grumbled, but Bora wasn't mad at him. Her grin was merry when she jumped to her feet and held out her hand to him.

"Come on, let's get something to eat. I won't rush you, you adorable thing."

When Yunho stood to follow her, he tripped over his own feet. Her snicker was overjoyed. When she leaned closer, her whisper promised she would keep a secret.

"Can I ask if you are a virgin?"

"Why do you want to know?!" Yunho yelled, indignant about her cheeky grin. With more laughter, she skipped ahead to put on her shoes and though Yunho was mortified, he had to admit the distraction worked.