"We are absolutely sure now that you are a B-rank in the making."

"Really?" Yunho perked up when Yeosang sat by his side to show him the documents he gathered. It included Yunho's bloodwork, prior reports about his abilities, and a drone shot from the last time he visited the rift and was hit by the bullet. Though the video hurt to see, Yunho declined Yeosang's offer to skip it. Bora wasn't in it, thankfully.

"Mingi is good at recognising these things because he can feel how much power gets sucked up when he guides someone. I spoke to Jongho, and he is confident that your abilities can be trained and that only your skepticism holds you back right now."

Yunho rubbed his palms over his thighs. He was edgy again, burdened by this information. 

Yeosang's deep voice soothed him.

"There is no stress to reach that class, though. You develop at your pace. You mentioned you hold yourself back?"

Yunho nodded carefully. He heard less distaste in Yeosang's voice than from the staff of Auresce, so he trusted once again.

"My powers scare me. I am meant to get hurt a lot. Jongho started teaching me, but... I think it's a long way until I can overcome that fear."

That lingering pain. Getting shot was awful. Yunho wouldn't be surprised if he froze in fear at the next rift.

Yeosang crossed his legs and made some notes on his papers. 

"Auresce gave you a guide, I assume? But if they mis-ranked you, then you would suffer more than necessary. We cannot promise you never get hurt, but we can promise a guide to get you through it."

"Can't I just keep coming back here and fix myself with medication?"

Yeosang studied Yunho and the discomfort on his features.

"I would prefer you to get to know a more permanent guide. And to test your abilities out in the field. Slowly and with the backup of a team, of course. We can adjust our strategies to accommodate you and your new guide, but we are hesitant to put you or our people in danger without knowing you are taken care of. In your case, trust plays a huge role. So I recommend sticking with one guide and their fighting style instead of multiple people out on the field. Wooyoung can find a match for you."

Since he kept running into the same issue with expectations in this world, Yunho was getting frustrated with himself.

"I... I had issues with my prior guides," he stuttered, curling into himself under Yeosang's searching eyes. As if he could see right into Yunho and discover all his petty little concerns. In the role of a saviour and warrior, he shouldn't be afraid to accept help. Otherwise, he was no more, but cannon fodder, like Auresce decided for him.

But Yeosang didn't ridicule him. He lowered his pen to listen.

"Why? You won't find your ideal match right away, but you will get the proper rank this time. Do you prefer women or men?"

Yunho sunk further into himself. How embarrassing to explain this to a doctor who saved lives all day long. 

"I can't- I can't get used to guiding. I find it very foreign."

The corners of Yeosang's lips twitched with a thought. The twinkle in his eyes couldn't be from the sun falling through his blinds at an angle to trace lines over the white floors.

"Did Mingi do something to you?"

Yunho's mouth hung open.

"What? No! He helped me out!" Since his ears were hot already, he committed. "It felt good," he mumbled.

"So your body doesn't fight it. There are some cases of natural rejections, they can make guiding painful. Then why do you dislike it? Out of embarrassment?"

Yunho nodded meekly.

"I feel so bad for needing to use them to stay sane. I only did it so far by skin contact, but a couple of people told me it won't be enough to keep me alive."

"They are right," Yeosang affirmed. "Guiding is the character of our work. An esper is nothing without their guide. You will hurt yourself if you bottle up that stress. Even now, your mind is unstable because you haven't received proper guiding ever since you awakened. A guide can heal a bullet wound on the battlefield and save your life."

But it wasn't right. That wasn't just an energy drink Yunho chugged. Those were people. 

"Do I only need guiding if I get hurt?" He tried to barter, but Yeosang's smile told him he had no chance. 

"Most espers receive guiding every day to maintain their sanity. It's nothing shameful, Yunho."

When he bit his lip and stayed silent, Yeosang sighed. 

"We will find a partner for you. Perhaps the thought isn't so bad after you have grown to like them. As you may have noticed, we have some loving couples here. If it still doesn't work then, we can talk about knocking you out while your guide does their work. Perhaps reversing the situation helps you. Now, get some rest. It's almost as important as guiding."

The flip side sounded just as abusive, but maybe Yunho could make that work. If he didn't have to be awake during guiding... 

No, what was he thinking? The healthiest way to do things was mutual consent. Sex was still sex, even if some healing powers came with it.

Yunho trudged out of Yeosang's office disheartened. He was so afraid of hurting someone again. And he hated that guides had to think of themselves as tools, no matter their abilities.

Since he had a migraine incoming, he went home to take a nap. Once he woke up, he discovered a message from San on his phone.

Hey, you still wanna hang out tonight? We are meeting in the lobby at 7. I can pick you up.

Yunho texted back, glad for the distraction.

Totally. I'll get dressed. Need something from the room?

While he left San time to reply, Yunho rustled through his three shirts to pick a casual one. Tenebra had no uniform for him, but maybe he could ask Wooyoung which clothing they recommended for battle. Mingi had looked good in his outfit...

Yunho shook the thought of him off. His guiding had been so different. So vigorous and so pleasant. It was easy to fall into its lure and chase for more. Of course, it would get better and sweeter if they were naked, but Yunho couldn't. He killed Bora. He didn't want to kill anyone else.

His blues lightened when he met the others in the lobby. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were here, together with Jongho, who looked casual in a leather jacket and black jeans. 

San waved Yunho over with a big grin.

"I also invited Jongho. Hope you don't mind," he greeted Yunho with a brotherly hug and Yunho smiled back at the bunch.

"Not at all. Let's have fun together."

They walked further into the outskirts of Seoul, hunting down a restaurant San swore by. Hongjoong and Seonghwa swung their intertwined fingers between them and, though Jongho still looked intimidating outside of the gym, his smiles were more frequent.

San babbled to Yunho and asked him about his day. When he gave a brief summary of Yeosang's diagnosis, San applauded for him.

"I knew you were more! Hah, bet Mingi is ruffling his feathers in his office right now."

Mingi seemed like an enigmatic character, even to them. Did he have closer friends in the workplace? Those guys at the gym didn't seem to know him as a person, but the trainers and Yongguk sounded more casual about him.

They found the barbeque place and were already heated with laughter when they made their way inside. Jongho was, surprisingly, the youngest of them all, so Seonghwa readily offered himself to grill all the meat for him. They drank some Soju with it, all confident to sober out until the morning, and Jongho assured them he would guide them otherwise. Though San wagged his brows, Yunho reminded him he only allowed hand to hand touches.

It was easy to get along with this group. San was surprisingly adorable and couldn't drink much after flushing after one cup already. Seonghwa and Hongjoong murmured sweet nothings with each other while Jongho taught Yunho how to make superior salad wraps.

The mood was light and healing away from all work-related matters. In the past weeks, ever since that incident at his job, Yunho forgot how precious these moments were.

"How did you two meet?" He asked the couple while they waited for another serving of meat to be grilled. San peered into his glass and made for the bottle, but Jongho smoothly exchanged it with the water jug, just as interested in hearing the story.

"We matched up officially when Seonghwa joined Tenebra after leaving Auresce, just like you did. I didn't like him at first," Hongjoong recounted. His hair fell into his forehead today, making him look softer, but his black leather jacket was adorned by sharp spikes, reminding everyone to stay the hell away from him.

Seonghwa chuckled at his blunt confession and brushed some askew red hair back into its place. So even he had a bad time at Auresce. Maybe because of arrogant espers like Lux who treated guides like meat? Or because he cared for someone and couldn't help them in that system.

"Hongjoong's a hothead and difficult to guide because of his impatience. When he joined Tenebra, everyone was stumped who to pair him with. But we found a good dynamic and got closer ever since."

Jongho also nodded along with his memories.

"Other guides didn't get along with Hongjoong. I tried to guide him once, and he burnt my leg." 

Hongjoong playfully bared his teeth at him and Jongho threatened him with the prongs. Amused about the anecdotes of their past, Yunho listened along. They had incidents to share, some more severe and others merely chaotic. 

"What about you, San? Do you have a guide?" He tried with his roommate and San hiccoughed. Somehow, he looked miserable, so Seonghwa called for the restaurant owner to get him some milk. 

"No fixed one. I'm still waiting for my darling Wooyoung to reach my class so we can fight side by side," San babbled, still loyal when he was flushed like a tomato. Yunho had to coo.

"What about you? You could have brought your guide along," Seonghwa asked Yunho with genuine curiosity, but the darkness fell like a curtain behind his eyes.

"She died because of me," he muttered, and Seonghwa sucked in a breath.

"Oh... I'm sorry, Yunho," he whispered, but Yunho shook his head.

"I hope I can do better. It was my fault and I will never forget, though. One of the reasons why I am scared of meeting a new guide."

"Yeosang chewed you out as well?" Jongho guessed, quickly diverting the topic from the grief that seized them. Yunho poured himself another glass.

"He did. Seonghwa and Hongjoong were his example of how trust is important for espers as unpredictable as him and I. I'm working on warming up to the thought. People here treat their guides well, so I hope I can do the same."

Jongho toasted to that and the others fell in; San with his newly acquired chocolate milk.

They went back to talking about everything and nothing. Yunho told them about living in Gwangju and learned Seonghwa and San also came from the south. Jongho told a story about Wooyoung beating up an esper once for biting his lip during guiding and they had a good laugh about it when San burbled something about his strong little Wooyoung.

After giggling late into the night, Jongho called it a day first. He stood to go pay while Yunho lifted San from his chair and slung his arm over his shoulder. Yunho's scent of meat and alcohol got complimented as 'is that Prada?' and they thanked the owner for putting up with them so late.

Jongho looked as serene as before, despite the bottles on his side of the table.

"Shall I call a taxi?" He suggested, but Yunho shook his head.

"I would rather use the walk to sober up. You can go ahead though," he grinned, and while Hongjoong was ready to cool his spiked anxiety from the evening back at home, Seonghwa insisted not to leave Yunho alone with San.

Thus, they lugged their friend home together, just a group of giggling fellows in the night. Yunho had his fun and when he finally fell into bed after a long evening, he believed these breaks would heal him just as much as any guide would.