SAANVI MALIK

Memories! Beautiful memories!

The picture before me filled me up with warmth and love.
I looked at my smiling Papa carrying me on his back while we were posing for a picture beachside. With one hand I held his shoulder and with the other, I made a victory sign with my fingers. Dad's both hands circled backwards to support me on his back.
He had a beaming smile on his face and so did I.

The picture screamed how happy I was with my Papa fives years ago.

For him, I was always a glass doll. He held me with so much care that I never knew life can be this hard. He hid me in his chest, shielding me from all the problems of life.

I remember the days when he would come up with 'Dahi-Cheeni' [curd and sugar] just before my exams or any other important event of my life.

Now when I look back, I realise it was always about me, about my happiness, about my likeness.

"Saan which colour should I wear? " He once asked keeping his navy blue and grey tuxedo in both his hands.

I recall 14 years old me scrunching my nose, "Papa wear pink, I don't like these colours".

He chuckled before saying, " Aye! Aye! Captain. My precious' wish, my command " He parroted, standing in an attention position.

I giggled at him and he soon joined me in giggling.

"Mam, here are the project briefing"  Trisha kept the file on the table before me bringing me out of long memory lane.

" Thank you! " I gave her a small smile to which she nodded and left.

I am Marketing head in "GoodWood" Enterprise owned by my Father Suraj Maalik which deals with furniture.

I was an intern here during my Graduation, and later I was included in the team. After completing my MBA degree I was working here for two years and considering my appreciable performance, I was finally promoted to Head of the team. I am working on the post for about a year now.

When I was young, Dad told me one day, when I will be capable enough, he would hand me his chair that is his position.

And now that is my only dream. Not because I love his property and position but I want to see him proud of me. I want his eyes to light up when he sees me, like before. I want his chest to be puffed with pride when he is called my father like how he wanted.

I opened the file and started reading about the project.

*
After two hours or so finally, I was done with my work. I thought to check up on Suchi. She came back a long ago from her pre-nursery school. Last I heard from Sunidhi, she was playing in the playroom.

I walked to the room adjacent to mine. There, she was sleeping on the couch with one leg and one hand hanging. I quietly sat beside her keeping away her Doraemon colouring book.

How I wish I had Doraemon's time machine. I would love to go five years back and put some sense in my younger self.

I looked at the munchkin beside me who was snoring softly. Who will say she is a naughty brat when awake.

She is the only good thing happened to me in the last five years.
Most of the time her talks, her words just go above my head but she manages to put me at ease every time she looks at me with her innocent eyes.

Every time, I eyeball this tiny figure it shakes my insides that she is being punished for no-fault.
She deserves Father's love. She deserves her share of happiness which got snatched away from her due to my ugly mistake. She needs a shadow of a father. That is why I want to marry. At least she would be loved. Maybe my marriage would make my and Papa's relations a little better.

But who would like to give his name to someone else's blood?

"Saanvi, you are beautiful, talented and just like the girl I wanted but you know... I... I... Mean... Sorry to say...but your daughter... You know...I can't accept her as my daughter. I am sorry." The three boys I met before said the same lines.

The words may hurt me but I know they were right. It is not that easy to accept someone else's child. They must have their dreams and why would they sacrifice them for me? Even I may not have done the same if I was at their place. I must not expect something from anyone which I cannot do for them.

"Mam, you are required to attend Mr Ahuja's party tonight on Sir's behalf" I never knew when Mr Parikh came and stood before me. He is dad's P.A. and the most trusted person among his staff.

"But Uncle, Suchi? " I can't leave her alone. If Dad is not attending the party, he must be going somewhere then with whom would I leave Suchi?

"Parikh, Mr Ahuja has two Grandchildren. They have invited their friends as well organising a mini party for them in another corner. " I didn't know Papa was on call. Of course, he said it all for me to listen.

I sighed in relief listening to him.

"Parikh I am going to another branch to fix up some disputes, will return till tomorrow evening," He said directing the message to me. I know Uncle already knew it, Papa was just telling me so that I don't worry.

"Have a safe journey" I muttered enough loud to be heard by Papa, after which he disconnected the call.

Parikh Uncle patted my head as he saw my eyes glistening with tears.

"Trust him" He said indicating towards the Almighty, I nodded at him, giving a small assuring smile.

*
"Parti! Parti!.... Parti! Yeah" Suchi ran around the whole living room just in her pink barbie shorts and whistling sandals.

"Suchi, Come here! Wear the dress" I ran behind her but she shook her head.

"You don't want to wear this pretty dress? " I mimicked a baby voice, waving the red frock before her.

She shook her head more than required.

"Why? " I made a fake dejected face at her, "see! Even your dress is looking sad."

"I want pink " She indicated towards the dress and sat on the table keeping her small legs one above the other and her tiny hands supporting her chin.

So eatable!

I could gobble her down that instant.

"Okay fine! " Glancing at the clock, I quickly rushed to my room to get her a pink frock.

I got the dress and finally, the tantrum queen got ready.

She moved in circles, rotating her dress, giggling to no end making me smile at her enthusiasm.

She got down from the dressing table and ran somewhere, I was confused about her behaviour when she came with my heels.

I was amused, I was anticipating her next move when she threw the heels on the table and herself climbed on it too.
She wore my heels, posing like a model in front of the mirror.
Keeping one hand on her waist, she made a pout as if paparazzi were going crazy over her one look.

I chuckled looking at her acting, "Come now! It seems like my 3-inches heels are wearing you not the other round". I picked her up in my arms while she threw her arms and legs in protest.

I made her wear her own sandals ignoring her balloon cheeks and laser glares. " I will get you a lot of them when you grown-up " I kissed the crown of her head and she quickly melted on my chest.

*
I dropped Suchi near other children. She was mingling with them quite well. She would get some good friends!

As I moved towards the main hall to congratulate Ahuja Sir on his big achievement, my eyes settled on my biggest nightmare.

My insides churned with fear, with disgust, with hate.

I was not ready to face him.

All the dreadful memories came rushing to me making my heart beat at an irregular speed.

While his presence scared me, remembering his touch, his words killed me.

I didn't realise when my vision started to get blurry due to the hurtful tears.

No! I won't cry for him. He doesn't deserve my tears.

I was pacing to another side occasionally, looking at him and that's when I bumped into someone. I didn't see him standing there, muttering a small "sorry ", I quickly went to the other side
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Please ignore grammatical mistakes.

And Thankyou cuties for being so responsive! ❤❤.
Honestly, looking at all your lovely responses I feel like to update every day but due to my schedule I can't but still, that does not stop me from stealing 20 minutes from my every break and writing in bits and pieces😋🐒.

It's all your love, that makes me so happy to write and update as soon as possible!! ❤Thank you ❤.

Thanks for reading ❤