Dream: Would you kiss me for 100$

George: Why?

Dream: Just curious

George: I guess? 

Dream: [Slams 100$ onto the table] Well, would you look at that!

Techno: I turned out perfectly fine!

Phil: Techno, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Techno: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Techno: Okay, truth or dare?

Phil: Truth

Techno: How many hours have you slept this week?

Phil:

Phil: ...Dare

Techno: Go to bed.

Phil: I don't like this game.

Phil, driving Tommy and Techno: So how was your day?

Tommy: We almost got surprise adopted!

Phil: What?

Techno: We almost got kidnapped.

Phil: Oh, okay.

Phil: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Tommy, texting Techno: Techno! Help I'm being kidnapped

Techno: Where are you?

Tommy: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Techno: I'll call Phil.

Phil, answering his cell: Y'ello?

Techno: Where's Tommy? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.

Phil: Tommy? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Phil: 

Phil: I'll call you back. *hangs up*

Phil: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Tommy: WHO ARE YOU?!

Tommy: We need to get through this locked door. Ranboo, give me your credit card. 

Ranboo: Here. 

Tommy, pocketing it: Thanks. Tubbo, kick down the door.

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Tubbo please come to the front desk?

Tubbo, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Ranboo and Tommy

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Ranboo and Tommy, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Tubbo: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

Corpse: Is stabbing someone immoral? 

Puffy: Not if they consent to it. 

Schlatt: Depends who you're stabbing. 

Sam: YES?!?

Techno: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Quackity: Is it me, Techno?

Techno: No, it's not you.

Corpse: Is it me, Techno?

Techno: It's not you either.

Wilbur: Is it me, Techno?

Techno:

Techno, mockingly: Is IT mE Techno?

Fundy: Hey, Tubbo? Can I get some dating advice?

Tubbo: Just because I'm with Ranboo doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Fundy: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Tubbo: We got spring water

Fundy: NO.

Ranboo: with EXTRA minerals

Tubbo: it's like licking a stalagmite

Fundy: DON'T COME HOME.

Ranboo: Mmmmm cave water

*The group is getting into the car* 

Fundy: I'm driving. 

Tubbo, out of view: Shotgun! 

Ranboo, turning to face Tubbo: Aww! But you had it on the way here- 

Everyone except Tubbo: WOAH- 

Tubbo, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

Slimecicle: What time is it? 

Purpled: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out 

Purpled: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* 

Quackity: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING 

Purpled: It's 2 am

(Likely drunk) Quackity: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Phil: You need to stop.

Eret: Fuck.

Ranboo: We've got to work on your cursing.

Eret: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Quackity: Anyone d- 

Puffy : Depressed? 

Wilbur: Drained? 

Slimecicle: Dumb? 

Tommy: Disliked? 

Quackity: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

Techno: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Ranboo: The cow???

Techno: What?

Niki: Ranboo, W H Y?

Karl: If you can't beat them, dress better than them

Purpled, tending to Slimecicle's wounds: How would you rate your pain? 

Slimecicle: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Phil: I CAN'T DO IT!

Eret, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Phil: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Tommy: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Phil:

Phil: I appreciate it,

Phil: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Ranboo: Phil-

Phil: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Foolish: Phil we gotta-

Phil: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Phil: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Phil, motioning to Wilbur: NOT FUCKING THIS

It's shorter this time. Have a good day. I have no energy.