Author's Note: Just to clarify, the name labels only exist to you, the reader. Shuichi and Kokichi can't see them. They are just to show whose phone is sending which message.

Kokichi: hey

Kokichi: what u up 2

Shuichi: Who are you?

Kokichi: don't worry about it

Shuichi: That's not an answer.

Kokichi: I'm ur stalker

Kokichi: duh

Kokichi: how else would I have this number

Shuichi: ...

Shuichi: What do you want?

Kokichi: u naked and in my bed

Kokichi: but i'll settle for nude pics for now

Shuichi: I'm calling the police.

Kokichi: WAIT

Kokichi: it's me

Kokichi: its Kokichi

Shuichi: Prove it.

Kokichi: (picture of Kokichi)

Kokichi: this enough proof for you

Kokichi: only i could have taken that picture

Shuichi: Okay, I believe you're Kokichi.

Shuichi: Though I'm still debating whether to call the police.

Kokichi: you're so mean

Shuichi: Wait. How did you get my number?

Kokichi: that was easy. i got it from Miu

Kokichi: it was on her phone

Shuichi: WHY DID MIU HAVE MY NUMBER?

Kokichi: nishishi. you'd have to ask her that

Shuichi: How did you get it off Miu's phone?

Shuichi: Does she not have a password?

Shuichi: Also did you just type out your laugh?

Kokichi: i'm disappointed in you Shuichi

Shuichi: ?

Kokichi: you're supposed to be a detective 

Kokichi: what do you think Miu's password was

Shuichi: ...

Shuichi: It was 696969 wasn't it.

Kokichi: bingo

Shuichi: I am done with this conversation.

Shuichi: Goodbye.

Shuichi: And please don't text me again.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

(next night)

Shuichi: KOKICHI IF YOU DON'T STOP TEXTING ME

Kokichi: ooh, what you'll do

Kokichi: i'm curious

Shuichi: STOP TEXTING ME!

Kokichi: u seem really upset about this

Kokichi: do u need to talk it out or something

Shuichi: IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING

Shuichi: I'M TRYING TO SLEEP

Kokichi: u really shouldn't be texting then

Kokichi: it'll keep u up

Shuichi: I'm blocking this number.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

(a few days later)

Kaito: hey! guess whoooooo

Shuichi: Kaito? Did you need something?

Kaito: what makes you think this is kaito

Shuichi: ...Kokichi?

Kaito: i don't know. am i?

Shuichi: You stole Kaito's phone?!

Kaito: who says i stole it

Kaito: maybe i asked him to borrow it

Shuichi: Oh of course. If I look outside the window will I see pigs with jet packs too?

Kaito: y u being so mean to me

Kaito: what else was is supposed to do

Kaito: you blocked me

Shuichi: You could have apologized and asked me to unblock you.

Kaito: how could i do that when you blocked me

Shuichi: You could have just asked me irl.

Kaito: but this is more fun

Kaito: besides im too lazy to actually do things

Shuichi: If I unblock you will you give Kaito back his phone?

Kokichi: only if u also hang out with me

Shuichi: I thought you were too lazy to actually do things.

Kokichi: i never said that

Shuichi: You literally just did. If you scroll up for a second you'll see it.

Kokichi: details

Kokichi: all that matters is that if u want the hostage to live you'll give in to my demands

Shuichi: Excuse me?

Kokichi: this phone

Kokichi: do u think i should smash it with a hammer

Kokichi: or maybe throw it in a lake

Kokichi: oh! i could probably get kiboy to eat it

Shuichi: I'LL DO IT.

Shuichi: JUST DON'T DESTROY KAITO'S PHONE.

Kokichi: yay!

Shuichi: I think I'm going to regret this later.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

(few more days later)

Kokichi: (picture of Shuichi's hat)

Shuichi: THAT'S WHERE MY HAT IS

Shuichi: I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU TOOK IT

Shuichi: IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT BACK IMMEDIATELY SO HELP ME

Kokichi: oooh youre so upset Shuichi

Kokichi: im curious now

Kokichi: what will u do if i keep your hat

Shuichi: I WILL LOCK YOU GONTA'S LAB AND LET ALL THE BUGS LOOSE

Kokichi: nishishi

Kokichi: if u want it back so badly come and get it back yourself

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

(same day as last)

Rantaro: hey K

Rantaro: S is looking for you and he's out for blood

Kokichi: i know

Kokichi: its all part of the plan

Rantaro: what did you do? I've never seen him that angry.

Kokichi: i stole his hat

Rantaro: oh, that's why he looked different

Rantaro: by the way, what flowers would you like at your funeral

Kokichi: haha thanks for the vote of confidence

Rantaro: In case you were wondering, this is not how you get someone to like you

Kokichi: i told you i have a plan

Rantaro: does it involve death

Rantaro: specifically yours

Kokichi: hes here

Kokichi: wish me luck

Rantaro: hope you don't die

<><><><><><><><><><><>><><><><><><>

(next morning)

Shuichi: I hate you.

Kokichi: nishishi, that's not how u acted last night

Shuichi: SHUT UP

Kokichi: ur so cute when your embarrassed

Kokichi: u were cute last night too

Shuichi: STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.

Shuichi: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME HERE ALONE?

Kokichi: relax i just went for a walk

Kokichi: aww do u miss me

Shuichi: No, I just hate you for leaving me alone with all your creepy stuff.

Shuichi: Is the horse head mask really necessary?

Kokichi: ur such a bad liar

Shuichi: What?

Kokichi: u don't hate me

Shuichi: There's no way you can know if I'm lying based on a text.

Kokichi: oh really

Kokichi: if u really hated me

Kokichi: then after you came for your hat

Kokichi: y did u stick around

Kokichi: to cum for me

Shuichi: If you repeat those words to anyone I will make sure no one finds your body.

Kokichi: ooh r u threatening me detective

Kokichi: kinky

Shuichi: I can't win here can I?

Kokichi: nope

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

(later that same day)

Kokichi: told u so

Rantaro: Oh hey you're not dead

Rantaro: so what did you tell me?

Kokichi: that my plan would work

Rantaro: ?

Kokichi: guess what i did last night

Kokichi: or who

Rantaro: oh gross man don't tell me about that

Rantaro: I mean congrats I guess but I don't want to hear about it

Rantaro: So are the 2 of you a couple now?

Kokichi: um

Rantaro: What do you mean um?

Rantaro: It's a yes or no question.

Kokichi: kind of?

Kokichi: I didn't actually ask him

Rantaro: THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TEXTING ME GO ASK HIM

Kokichi: but what if he says no

Rantaro: Kokichi listen to me

Rantaro: the guy just slept with you

Ranatro: he wouldn't have done that if he wasn't attracted to you

Rantaro: but if you don't ask him soon he'll think that he was just a fling for you or something

Rantaro: ASK HIM NOW

Kokichi: dammit wait i don't know if i can

Rantaro: NOW

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Kokichi: hey Shuichi

Shuichi: Yeah?

Kokichi: um

Kokichi: would you

Shuichi: Would I...?

Kokichi: would you be my boyfriend

...

...

...

Kokichi: say something

Kokichi: please

Shuichi: You like me?

Kokichi: yes

Kokichi: ur really smart and selfless and u care about people

Kokichi: and it doesnt hurt that ur gorgeous

Kokichi: CRAP FORGET I SAID THAT PART

Shuichi: You really want me to be your boyfriend?

Kokichi: yes

Shuichi: Yes

Kokichi: yes?

Shuichi: Yes I'll be your boyfriend.

Shuichi: On one condition.

Kokichi: there's a condition?

Shuichi: You have to ask me in person.

Kokichi: oh

Kokchi: um

Shuichi: Unless of course you've changed your mind.

Shuichi: I wouldn't blame you.

Kokichi: whoa where did that come from

Kokichi: u are wonderful and attractive and u should think better of yourself

Kokichi: dammit now i'm concerned and nervous and embarrassed at the same time this is not okay

Kokichi: screw it i can do this

Kokichi: where are you

Shuichi: Near the pavilion.

Shuichi: Maki's here too. She agreed to teach me how to fight.

Kokichi: great an audience

Kokichi: whatever i'm still doing this

Kokichi: don't move

Kokichi: i'll be right there

Author's note: Yay I finally finished something. Does it ever happen to you guys that you start writing something and then you just don't feel like finishing it, so you start writing something else, and then it happens again? I have at least three different one-shots that I started writing and then I didn't feel like finishing, which is frustrating because I WANT TO FINISH THEM but it's like I don't have the motivation to do it.