Forget About the Forgotten

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Black. Everything is Black. Is the first thing he noticed when he looks around himself.

It was like a void. Sucking in everything and makes it nonexistent.
But at the same time, between the infinite Black, there was a puddle of grey.

When he concentrated even more, he could see a tuft of Blue as well. Together with a bright Pink, forming a purple where they connected.

It was strange. The void seemed to obtaining only these three colours, although the Purple was just a mixture of the other two.
But altogether it still was a pitch Black.

Black like the shadow of the Blue.
Black like the darkest secrets of the Pink.
Black like the biggest regrets of the Purple.

Black is the colour of everything negative. He thought as he flies around the nothing.
It didn't even feels like the Boy himself existed either. Maybe he was just the embodiment of everything negative.

With his death he killed it along with him. His death wasn't meaningless.

A sharp Pain went through his Body and everything Black got replaced by the bright Pink. Eventually the Pink got too bright to look at and the Pain involved.

It was like everything turned White, all of a sudden. The Pink turned to White. The Black, everything Bad, got replaced by peace and silence.

But he remains in the void whatsoever. And he was gifted with infinite Pain as a Punishment for his existens.

It was like he represents the Black, which had spread everywhere seconds ago. Maybe he really was the embodiment of Evil.

But the Blue, Pink and Purple will also stay inside of him forever.
Never going to leave.
Never going to see through his eyes.
Never going to feel the agonising Pain he was in.

He wanted to protect the three colour. Even when he had to sacrifice himself.

But everything that is inside, could come out eventually. Without a warning, everything would be painted Pink again and again.

He would feel the Pain over and over again. He would need to take the Blue and the Purple and protect it.

Protect, could also mean kill.
He killed them. Every colour along his way. The Yellow, which had always smiled at him. The different tones of greens and their different nature.

The wild Red and Magenta, which had seemed to be friendly to everyone.
He killed them. Without hearing any of their Questions, Screams or Shouts, he just Killed them.

That would be a reason why he is here. In the void of nothing.
Maybe this is hell. He thought.
Maybe Hell is just the place where your sins become one with yourself.

Ahahaha He laughed. The colours. His friends. His Victims. He felt every Pain they had gone through, he felt his head aching, his throat burning, his chest hurting and his skin crumble.

It felt like he was suffocating and drwoning at the same time. Like he got skinned and burned alive.
Like he got every imaginable Sickness on earth and suffers from the symptoms.

In the end, he couldn't protect the Blue or the Purple. He couldn't get back to the Pink and apologize.

It felt like everything in his Body, everything he was, his whole being got crushed between his Sins.

____

His eyes shot wide open and he let out a loud and pained scream.
His raising panic prevented him from moving and his breaths came out as desperate gasps.

He could feel his heart rate rising as well and he heared a ringing in his ears. He wasn't sure where he is, not beliving anything he was seeing.

Illusion, Lie, Trick He repeated in his head over and over.
Even after some other noises could be heard over the continious ringing, he refused to belive anything.

He refused to think, that two of his friends are in his room, standing next to him and trying to calm him down.

He refused to open his eyes again, although he never noticed when he had closed them shut.

He also hadn't noticed that he was unable to breathe before one of his friends told him how to.

Stop it He thought.
He never wanted this, but he couldn't prevent it. After a while he could hear the voices of his friends.
He could hear their worried questions.
He could hear them coming closer and touching him.
He could hear them talking about him being asleep again.
He could hear them closing the door after they had walked away from his bed.

He couldn't hear them anymore when he opened his eyes.
He was left in the dark again.
And that, even when he was afraid of the dark.

Dark means Black. He growled.
He hated it when he was surrounded by darkness. He could turn around as much as he wants, the darkness would be everywhere.

But that is also the reason why he hated sleeping as well. Because sleeping requires closing the eyes.
And when you close your eyes, there would be Black again.

And everyone would be surprised and shocked when he wakes up screaming again. Everytime he wakes up, he imedietly knows, that he uncontrollably lost against the darkness.

Even when people told him many times before, that he was just too exhausted, too tired. But in his view, he wasn't tired. When he fell asleep, the darkness had to get him first.

Noone could get through his logic.
He had the most impressive arguments and reasons, nobody could respond to.

To the question, where he would feel save. He answered, By my friends!' and after the question who his friends are, he said ,Blue, Pink and Purple!'

I feel save around White He muttered to himself. But every later Attempt was pointless.

He had stopped answering the questions.
He refused to go to them again.
Even after his friends painted everything in the house White.
Even after his friends had dyed their hair to Pink and Blue.

He locked himself in his Room all day, lights out and windows shut. No light in his room whatsoever.

His friends had known that he hated the Darkness. So they asked him why he won't oopen the windows.
He didn't answer to that.

He knew the answer. It was rather simple He was scared. Opening the windows would mean he would see everything.

He would be able to see the green plants all around their house. He would see the red flowers on the hill, not far from his home. He would see the yellow car from his neightbor in front of his house.

He couldn't handle the guilt. He would begin hyperventilating again and his friends would come in his room with their worried voices.

He had thought it would be simpler to stay in the darkness.
Well, he had also thought that staying alive would be simpler then dying. But that was a long time ago.

A time where is friends would have came to his room every two hours and talk to him. Times where he would have looked forward to their meetings every hour.

He would have asked the same question, How is the weather?' everytime they would come into his room and sit down besides him.

He remembered those times. He would have wrote them down on paper even, when he would be able to see though.

But when time passes those times got forgotten. The daily visits were reduced to once a day. Later to twice a week. And eventually they only came, when he would scream again.

And sometime soon, he will fade with those times. He will get forgotten as the boy he is. Not as the boy he had become.

They will forget how he looked like.
What his voice sounded like
What his skin felt like.
They will forget.
And he belived, that would be even better than dying.

So he tried to make progress. He tried to speak in sentences again.
He tried to approach his fears and opened the window a crack, only to slams it shut after a few seconds.
He tried to sleep again.
He tried to look his friends in the eye.
He tried to unlock his door during nighttime.

He tried to let go of the Blue, Pink and Purple.

Piece by piece he was making a big progress. His friends supported him everytime and the doctors were surprised by the change of view.

Of course they had different definitions of "Making Progress"
and different Reasons to make progress. But as long as he did, they hadn't complained.

There was a time, when his friends used the opportunity and asked him about the colours. Coincidentally that was the same day he had looked in a mirror for the first time again.

His friends could remember clearly how his eyes grew wide for a second before he started to smile.
They are all here. He said while taking their hands in his.
They were so happy they even began crying, much to his confusion.

The day after, he looked out of the window. He smiled at the bright blue sky and closed his eyes to embrace the wind blowing through his hair.

He had changed in hope of a change. He never wanted any of this, he repeatedly thought. But he also didn't need to experience it ever again.

The pain and the screams. Together with all the colours he kept hidden in his heart in a desperate try to protect them. He let them go. Flying in the wind. Because all mixed together they created Black.

He never wanted that, he thought again while shaking his hand.
But sometimes it is hard to let go of the new brought Balloon and let him fly into the air.

But after he did, he looked after him. Knowing that the balloon wouldn't last forever, but neither did he.
But that is good.
The Balloon will spread his insides world wide and makes people smile.

The colours will spread everywhere, forgetting about their past. Finally they could be.

And with that, did the boy close his eyes and welcomed the beautiful memories instead of the alleating darkness.

He never felt like being in that void ever again. This is one of the memories which will fade together with the old times.

And soon after that, he forgets after the forgotten and did not once complain about the changed.

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