I pushed him away. I dont want to raise confusion between us anymore. I'm not the one he loves and probably never will be.

I stumbled backwards until I fell on my bottom "What the hell?!" I looked up at him and saw him slowly tearing up

"how many times have I told you that I'm not Jimin?" I frustratedly shout "I'm someone who's worse than him, someone worthless, someone who doesn't deserve to be by your side—"

"JUNG HOSEOK CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW?" I shouted making him flinch. I quickly scrambled to my feet and closed the gap between us "Look, you're more than that—you're more than what you think you are. you yourself told me that you'll be there for me right? And I thank you for telling me that. Thank you for making me feel like i'm not the only one in this battle

but you know what i'm more thankful of? its of the fact that you're there. that you're the one who offered to stay, you're the one who answers my calls, goes to that shitty place every time only to meet me in a drunken state. you still smile and treat me the same even after all of the disgusting things that happened to me.

Jung Hoseok I love you." There I said it.

I looked at him, no words were coming out of my mouth

"remember the talk we had? about using Jimin as a distraction? Hoseok, you're that person. you're the one im avoiding because I know you deserve someone better, like Taehyung. You love him right?" ah there it is, the feelings that I bottled up for too long now escaping both from my mouth and eyes by the form of words and tears.

"And it hurt me Hoseok. it hurt me that Taehyung took me away from you, that he was the first one to get your heart, That probably once you leave me alone somewhere you'll come home to him. I wanted to be the home you'd come back to. I wanted to be your everything. I wanted you to be with me.

and exactly—wanted; past tense.

because I've come to the conclusion that you can never be mine. that I'm just a friend who you're helping, that I'm that person who sits underneath all the chaos thats happening outside, waiting for you to cave me in, to bring me warmth. that I could be easily thrown out the next day, that I'm just someone who chases you even though he knows he cant catch you.

I'm that person Hoseok.

and that person is so madly in love with you."

I love you too hyung, but youre drunk and for hell I know you could be lying but hey i'll cherish this lie til it lasts "Hyung, I'll go get you water...you could sleep on my bed and I'll sleep on the couch, youre a guest after all" I quickly made my way to the kitchen, tears falling down my cheeks.

but who knows? he may be telling the truth.