"No." She stammers with a shaky voice. "You don't get to say you're sorry after what you did. You tore up my soul, you left pieces of yourself in every open space. You can't just say sorry for destroying a person. You know I tried for you. I tried to be enough." 

"I wish things were different. I wish I could take back what I did to you, I never wanted to hurt you." He speaks, almost a whisper. 

She steps away from him. "Well you showed me. Never let anyone close enough to ruin you." 
- it hurt, but she left
(Poem by r.h.sin on instagram)

//

TWO DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

"HEY, MOM. I got a question." Gracie spoke while swinging back and forth on the swings and taking a lick of her strawberry ice cream. 

That child is weird. I don't know who eats ice cream in the winter outside. I turned towards her. "Yeah, G?" 

"Are you and daddy actually together?"

I sucked in air and had a solemn expression on my face. We were watching Soda teach Ashton how to work on a car and I turned back towards Gracie who was waiting for an answer.

"Sweetie," I took her hands in mine and flashed her a small smile. "Your dad and I are just best friends. We're staying together for Christmas because we know it means a lot to you and Ash." 

Her expression darkened. "I understand why you don't want to get back with daddy." 

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What are you talking about, Gracie?"

"You don't want to get back with daddy because you're afraid of getting hurt again. And you're afraid of losing him."

[here's a GIF of Gracie]

I glanced over at Soda and swallowed the lump in my throat. I chuckled as tears blurred my vision and ruffled her hair. "Don't get wise, kiddo. Not yet."

Soda started walking over and I wiped away my tears. He came over to us and smiled. "You wanna come see Ashton's progress?"

We both nodded and walked over to Ashton. He looked so concentrated. He had his tongue out and his blue eyes were focused on the tire. He reminded me exactly of Soda when I used to watch him work on cars at the DX. 

I giggled and turned towards Soda. "He looks exactly like you when you work on a car." 

Soda had a grin plastered across his face. "Like father like son." 

//

WE WALKED OVER to Soda's old house, and when we entered, everyone turned their heads towards us. We already told the gang the Christmas plan, so they wouldn't be surprised when they saw Soda and I together. 

The kids automatically ran towards Two-Bit and he chuckled. "I'm obviously their favorite uncle." 

Soda and I laughed and Darry tapped both of us on the shoulder, leading us towards Soda and Pony's room they used to share. We sat on the bed while Darry shuffled through everything in the room. He grabbed a cardboard box and slid it toward us until it landed right in front of my feet. "Thought you two might want to go through that." 

Soda and I gave each other confused faces as Darry walked out of the room, leaving us. I slowly opened the box and gasped. "No way!" Soda shouted. 

The kids ran in the room when they heard Soda shout and looked at the picture I held up. I scrunched my face up in disgust. "I should not have made that pose. That was not cute." 

[that is actually the person who plays Skylar for the ones who didn't know. SABRINA IS SO CUTE AWW]

Ashton giggled. "Mommy you were so cute." 

Soda smiled warmly. "And she still is." 

I felt my cheeks heat up and I put that one down and grabbed another one. I immediately busted out into laughter, making Gracie and Ashton laugh with me and Soda shot me a glare. "Is that daddy?" Gracie pointed at the picture while giggling.

I glanced at the picture again and started laughing even more, and soon Soda started laughing too. "Your dad thought he was a magician back in the late 70's." I shook my head while chuckling. 

Soda scoffed. "At least I didn't want to be a person who finds dead bodies and tries to solve who killed them." 

I shot him a glare. "It's better than wanting to be a stripper." 

"Mommy, what's a stripper?" Ashton asked and I fell off the bed from laughing so hard. 

Soda tried to help me up, but he was laughing so hard he laid on the ground beside me. We sat up on the floor and I grabbed another picture out, groaning. "I look exactly the same."

"Awww." Soda remarked and I rolled my eyes. Ashton reached in the box and handed Soda and I a picture. "Who's that in the picture with daddy?" 

Soda and I froze while looking at the picture. I felt my throat go as dry as a desert and my mouth couldn't form any words. Soda gave a sad smile and kept his gaze towards the ground. 

"That's a person who you're gladly never going to meet." I snapped and walked out of the bedroom. Soda called my name and I sat down on the porch.

(Soda and Sandy^)

I heard someone come out and sit beside me. I glanced over and gave a small smile. "Hey, Pony." 

He returned the smile. "What happened, Abs?"

"Everything was going great until we saw a picture of Soda and Sandy. Even though she's gone, it's like she haunts me! It's like she keeps reminding me that Soda loves her more than me." 

Pony gave me a hug. "Trust me, Soda loves you more than you think." 

The door opened and Pony and I turned to see Soda. Pony got up and walked inside. I sighed as Soda sat next to me on the porch with a photograph in his hand. "I think this picture is my favorite." 

I gave a small smile as I glanced at the old picture of Soda and me. My mom was obsessed with taking pictures, and this one was one of her favorites. He looked at me and put his hand on top of mine. I looked at our hands as he spoke. 

"Blue, I threw that picture in the garbage disposal. I meant it when I told you I'm done with Sandy. And I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you either." 

I swallowed the lump in my throat and laid my head on his shoulders, watching the sunset. "You know, the last time I looked at a sunset was when I was eighteen and Pony was sixteen. I'm twenty-three now and Pony is twenty-one." 

Soda chuckled. "Pony would beat you up if he found that out." 

"Too late." A voice came from behind us. I screamed and dashed off the porch. Pony came running behind me and I kept running away from him. "Soda, help me!" I shouted. Soda gave me a smirk and glanced at Pony. Oh no.

He ran over to me and slung me around his back. "Soda! Put me down!" I kept beating on his back, making him and Pony laugh. 

He sighed. "Alright, I guess I'll let you down." 

He put me down and I smiled. "Thank you." 

"No, thank you." He corrected and started tickling me. "S-Soda s-stop!"

All of the gang watched from the porch while laughing. Gracie and Ashton ran over to us and started tickling me too. "I'm about to piss myself!" I shouted and that caused all of them to stop tickling me and laugh. 

"Mommy said a bad word, mommy said a bad word, mommy said a bad word!" Gracie and Ashton kept chanting causing me to roll my eyes. Soda was cracking up and Two-Bit yelled from the porch, "It wouldn't be the first time!"

I sprinted towards Two-Bit and jumped on his back. "You take that back, beer drinker!" 

"Soda lover!"

"Lazy donkey!"

"McWinston!"

This went on until Darry mentioned chocolate cake. Steve and I were the first ones in the kitchen causing everyone to laugh. Once we all sat down and started eating, Darry smiled, "It's good to have the gang back together."