"So...? You seemed to enjoy that party, huh?"

I roll my eyes. "Shut the fuck up, will you."

"What got you so grumpy this early in the morning?"

"You screaming right into my ear...?"

"Don't forget whose couch you're sleeping on," Chaewon reminds me as her head appears in the doorway to the bathroom. She's brushing her teeth, hair in a messy bun.

I whine before sitting up. "Okay, I'll shut my mouth then."

"No, you answer the damn question first."

"It's not even morning, you do realise that," I wonder off as my gaze falls upon the alarm clock.

"The fucking question, Jin. You know how much do I hate this. Don't make me rip your hair out of your scalp."

"And... what even was the question again?"

Yeojin rubs her face with an irritated sigh. "The fucking party, Jinnie! How was it?"

I lean away from her. "Calm down, damn, no need to be so angry right away," I say in a bit of a taken aback voice. I think back as she's obviously trying not to strangle me right here and right now. "It was alright."

"Alright?" Chaewon laughs, joining us in the living room, letting her hair loose in the process. "So you forgot about that girl?"

"Oh, you mean Yunjin?" I pull my knees to my chest to give them space to sit down. "Funny thing happened actually."

"She's taken."

I scoff. "I'm surprised you came up with such a lame thing. No," I shake my head, "she seems to be a lesbian actually."

"Huh?"

"Why would she get all over you then?"

"She was confused," I shrug. "I get her actually. And I'm sure you two do, too. So like... Yeah."

"And you don't feel like... used or anything?"

"No. She's a nice girl and apologised so there's no need to be mad. Plus - why would I feel mad when she went for it, thinking she was into me? That doesn't make sense."

"Oh my, oh my," Chaewon sighs, hand over her heart, "you sound so mature, Jinnie. Only when did you grow up so fast-"

"Okay, I'm going then," I start getting up.

"No, no, no," Yeojin squeals as she reaches out for my hand, "what would you even do, hm? It's Saturday, we still have two days off ahead of us. So..."

"So...?"

"You're staying here."

"I need to get changed, Jin?" I point towards my clothes.

"You also need a make up done or else you'll look like a fucking walking corpse," Chaewon teases me.

I stick my tongue out at her before going to put my shoes on. "If you want to, I can come back. Just let me become a human first."

We agree on that and I'm walking outside the building already. A few women give me a weird look and I realise that I should've at least checked my appearance in a mirror. I pull a phone out of my pocket, trying to fix my hair and face with the help of the front camera, to no avail though.

As I'm trying to make my hair look like a tornado hasn't just thrown me out of its wildest depths, I accidentally bump into someone. My phone slips out of my grasp while I catch the other person's hand since they lost their balance because of the collision.

I really seem to be lucky at getting into these cliché situations, don't I?

"I'm sorry," we both say and that's when we look at each other. My eyes are wide. I feel pain in my heart as I see the face I used to love and still hate losing.

Letting go of Seungmin's hand, I crouch down to pick up my phone, checking the display. I turn it on and see it works. With a sigh of relief, I put it back in my pocket.

"Hyunjin..."

My hands are trembling, I feel a twitch in my fingers as I look back at him.

I see he's trying to hold back his laughter as he points towards my hair. "Let me fix that for you." And before I can oppose, I feel his touch on my head.

I move away. "It's okay," I breathe out, not understanding why would he be so nice out of the blue. "I have to go anyways."

I turn on my heal and that's when he says my name again.

And I have to hold back my tears as I lean my head towards my shoulder, showing him I'm listening. However, I can't look at him no more.

"Please, turn around."

I feel weak. It's here again - I can't do anything against his words. I just listen and do what he says.

"I was... thinking... Maybe we could go out? I mean like... I have to be somewhere today as well but after that? Maybe this evening?" He runs his hand through his hair. "What do you think?"

In my head, I'm yelling, telling myself not to do it, screaming to deny and just go home. Go home, take a shower, maybe eat something and go back to Chaewon's and Yeojin's.

"Sure, why not."

What?!

I'm confused.

Yet when I see his smile, I forget the pain. I forget the hurt in my chest, the cracks on my heart, the ashes of my soul, the cold ropes that are wrapped around me, making me freeze.

"Okay! Here at six then?"

And I can't help but nod my head. "Of course."

"Nice," his teeth are shining bright as he beams. "See you then!" he shouts over his shoulder as he runs away.

And I'm standing there...

For a second.

Two.

Three.

My phone rings.

It's Yeojin.

I pick up. "Yes?"

"Can you please explain to me why are you just standing there like you've just seen a ghost?"

I look towards the other side of the street, seeing her leaning out of the window with a grin. "Because I have," I say before hanging up, waving at her and going home.

I need a shower more than ever.

—★—

"You did what?!"

"I know," I whine, holding Chaewon's pillow close to me. "I just... I don't know."

"You're not going though, are you?"

I keep quiet and that's when their eyes go wide.

"You can't be for fucking real right no."

"Explain yourself right now, Hwang fucking Hyunjin."

"I don't... I..." I sigh, burying my face in the soft fabric, feeling tears in my eyes. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Well, obviously it's the fact you're not over your ex who you have broken up with like what? Nine months ago? Ten maybe?"

"I still know how to count, Jin, thank you." I look at her. "And it's been exactly eight months and twenty days."

"Bitch, you're not over him at all!" Chaewon claims. She seems a bit upset as she slaps my shoulder and I flinch at how strong it is.

"Ouch?" I give her a hurt look but she doesn't really care.

"Well, it better does hurt a lot. Only then may you finally see how fucking stupid you are." She leans in closer to me. "Are you completely out of your mind? You know how toxic he became yet you still want to meet him? Want me to remind you of that panic attack you had after seeing him those two weeks ago?"

"Okay, okay, I get it-"

"Well, you obviously don't. Because I can see it in your eyes that you're still going anyways."

"I mean..."

"Fuck it, Hyunjin, you really have lost your sanity somewhere, right?"

"I guess I have," I sigh, lowering my head.

The room is silent for a long while.