If your name isn't Ronnie and you're reading this, go away.  

----------

The bar was dark, dingy, and smelled like something usually found in the stomach of something dead. Barely anyone was listening to the set, other than a few people tapping along and one tattooed guy who looked deep in thought and, yet, Ava still played her heart out, banging the drums as hard and as loud as she could. It didn't matter how many people cared about their music or how Ava played the drums because she still loved it. She hadn't played with this band before, their usual drummer was a friend of a friend and had called out sick so Ava was their backup call. Which was fine, Ava didn't need a band to be happy. At least, that's what she told herself.

The set was almost over and Ava was dreading going back to her cold apartment, where she only thought of what her future could be. It was getting sadder by the day. She had no stable job, no real friends, and no family. She pretty much just had a therapist and trauma. At some point, she'll run out of money to pay for the therapist and she'd be left with the trauma. She remained optimistic, she believed she'd find a stable job soon enough (even with just her GED, lack of experience and a deep hatred of menial labour) and she would move into a place with hot water and heating.

She didn't have it in her to be sad when she was playing. When she was beating the drums, her mind emptied and all she could feel was the music. It channelled through her like water through sand. It was the one thing that made her feel good in her life, even when everything was fucked and she was in the worst of situations, music made her happy.

But then the set ended and her thoughts came back to her as she left the makeshift stage with the strangers she'd been playing with for the last two hours, she thought about whether she'd have to sacrifice eating for a week or two to pay the $2000 rent on her overpriced one bedroom apartment. She was barely conscious as she helped the band load up their van and waved them off as they set off to their next destination, which she would not be joining them on.

It wasn't until someone was tapping her on the shoulder and asking, "excuse me, are you Ava Grey?" that she was snapped back to reality. She turned the face them, surprised that someone knew her name.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, startled.

"Are you Ava, the drummer?" He asked again and this time, Ava recognised him. He was the dude from the audience who looked deep in thought, the one with the tattoos. He was relatively young and Ava swore she knew him from somewhere, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Not officially, I was just filling in for a friend," she answered, packing away her drumsticks into her backpack.

"I heard, but I was very impressed by your drumming. Do you play like that every night?" The stranger asked and, okay, weird question.

"Any night I can get a gig, sure. Look it's getting late and this is the South Side of Chicago. I gotta get going before I get jumped on the street."

"Right, of course. I was just wondering if you'd like a job?" He asked, again, a strange question. Who just comes up to someone they'd never met and asks them if they'd like a job? Ava must have made a face that expressed that and the stranger continued, "that's probably a weird question from a dude you just met. Apologies, my name is Brian and I manage a few bands. One of them happens to be needing a drummer and I feel like it's fate that I was here tonight."

This night was just getting weirder and weirder, if you asked Ava. Here was a sketchy guy in a sketchy bar offering her a sketchy job. She should have just said no. But Ava never made the right decisions.

"What band is that? Are they local?" She asked. Even if she didn't want the job, she was curious. This was probably the most interesting encounter she'd had in months.

"Not local, no. You may have heard of them, they're called My Chemical Romance."

Ava wasn't sure if she'd heard the guy correctly, because he couldn't actually mean My Chemical Romance, the band that had just released their second album and was making strides in the rock community. Besides, they had a drummer.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I think I may have misheard you," Ava asked Brian. She just couldn't believe that he was being serious.

"I know it seems a little insane, but they just got rid of their drummer and we've had one of our sound guys filling in for the time being but the guy just doesn't really fit in, nor does he want all the attention that band is getting. I saw you play and I thought you would fit really well within the band. If you do want the job, you would have to meet the band as soon as possible. We're also on tour right now, so ideally I'd like you to be able to join them on the road as soon as possible, which may not be realistic."

Ava took in Brian's words, thinking everything through carefully. If she were to do this, it would affect everything in her life, not that she had much of one. It would mean opening herself up to new people and new experiences. It meant going on a real tour, potentially having to do interviews and doing almost anything that her anxiety would usually keep her from doing. It sounded terrifying. But it also meant being able to do the thing she loved, permanently. She could play every night, with a band whose music she loved. That sounded enthralling. After a few minutes of silence, she made a decision.

"Okay. I'd like to see where this goes. What do you need me to do?"

—

Ava swapped contact details with Brian and headed back home after he told her that he would talk to the band about meeting her and would let her know their next steps as soon as possible. It wasn't an hour later, as Ava was eating a bowl of instant ramen, that she received an email from Brian.

Ava,

I talked to the band and they are excited to meet you. Please meet me and the band at the address below at 1 pm tomorrow and be ready to play a song or two with them.

All the best, Brian Schechter

She saved the address into her Nokia 7610, anxious about meeting the band and for what might happen afterwards. If she was rejected, she could handle that. They were a growing band who probably knew a shit ton of drummers that were better than Ava, they might prefer someone from New Jersey because they were all from there or they could just not like Ava. That, she could handle. Everything would stay the same. But if they liked her, if they liked the way she played the drums, then everything would change. Ava didn't know if it would be for the better.

She decided to stop overthinking everything and go to sleep, she always slept better after playing a show and, even with her mind racing, this night was no exception. The problem was, she had nightmares that ended in her falling off the stage in front of crowds of thousands of people and it didn't end there. When she stood up, everyone was laughing at her, the entire crowd, the crew, and even the rest of the band. She hadn't even met the band yet and she was already having nightmares about them hating her. It felt like she was being laughed at for hours, until the laughing turned into an alarm and she was waking up the next morning, groggy and full of anxiety.

Her black and red hair stuck to her sweaty forehead and she brushed her hand through it as she sat up, shaking off her worries and checking the time. 9:01 AM. She just sighed and grabbed a clean towel before entering her bathroom and turning the shower on. If she actually had to start a whole ass tour tomorrow, the least she could do was take as many showers as possible beforehand.

After showering, Ava decided that she should listen to as much My Chemical Romance music as she could before meeting them, especially if she would probably have to be able to play any of their songs at a moment's notice. She was thankful, for once, that her ADHD had caused her to obsessively learn every single song of theirs on the drums. Her favourite song at the moment, and to play, was Helena. The drums were prominent in the song and it was always a fun one to try and emulate without sheet music. She found herself tapping along to the beat and her anxiety started to ease; she continued to tap along to every song until midday and got dressed to meet the band and Brian.

She arrived at the address Brian sent the night before, a small music venue a 20-minute walk from her apartment. She hadn't played there before, but she'd been to plenty of shows for local bands and knew it had a cosy atmosphere. Brian was outside, waiting for Ava as she walked up to the door at five minutes to one. He gave her a short nod and greeted her when he saw her.

"Hi, Ava. Thanks for coming. Follow me, the guys are inside," he said, opening the door and making a motion for her to follow.

"What do they know about me?" Ava asked.

"I told them that I think I found them an awesome drummer and that I thought you'd fit well in the band. They're cautious, of course, they're protective of the band and shit. But they're psyched to meet you and see you play," Brian explained, leading her through into the main room where the band was sat together in one of the booths near the small stage. They were the only people in the venue, other than some workers cleaning.

The men turned as they heard Brian and Ava approach them and Ava almost stopped breathing. She'd never been good at meeting new people, especially not people who happen to be members of one of her favourite bands that had an opening for what she could easily consider her dream job. They didn't look intimidating though, despite how they looked on the covers of magazines. For some reason, Ava was expecting them to be covered in blood. Ray, who always looked the least intimidating, had a bright smile and a sweet face. Mikey looked as though he didn't want to be there, but that could just be the way he looked. Gerard had what could be construed as a baby face and looked the most inviting of them all. Frank was the one that intimidated her the most, with his scorpion neck tattoo and jet-black hair, but even he looked pleased to meet her.

"Okay guys, this is Ava. I hope you guys like each other because if we don't find you a drummer soon, it'll have to be Bob," Brian said, and Ava didn't know who Bob was but she could tell by the look on the other guys' faces that the prospect of him being their drummer was not something they would be thrilled about.

"What's up, nice to meet you. We were just talking about what song we'd like to play with you. We thought it would be best that you pick one to do solo and then we pick one to play as the band, that way we can be sure you know what you're doing," Gerard said, then thought again at what he said, "not that we don't think you can play anything. It's more so that we can be sure you're not just playing the songs you know."

"What Gerard means to say is, nice to meet you. What song would you like to play solo? We were thinking that we could try Skylines and Turnstiles as the band," Ray clapped a hand on Gerard's back, clearly he was rambling.

"I'm not sure. I've been practising Helena a lot lately, but Demo Lovers is one I'm best at. Do you guys have a preference?" Ava asked. She'd been torn between the two songs since this morning, they were two of her favourite songs and she wanted to impress them.

"It's up to you, but it would be cool to know that you could already do Helena since Revenge only came out last month," Frank said, leaning back against his chair.

"Anyway, come sit down. We can talk while they get the sound ready. Tell us about yourself, how old are you, what do you like to do when you're not drumming?" Ray asked as Ava took a seat facing them.

"I'm 25. I pretty much just spend the time that I'm not drumming reading, writing, and playing video games. I'm also really into Greek Mythology, I've been reading a lot of those kinds of books lately. I will also prattle on about shit I like if you don't stop me, so if I'm ever going on and on about something just tell me to shut the fuck up or I won't know when to stop," Ava wished she had shut the fuck up at 'video games'. "Sorry, I talk a lot when I'm nervous."

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing we haven't gone through with Gerard. He never shuts up. Whether it be about comic books or metaphors he wants to use for new songs," Mikey said, talking to Ava for the first time.

Gerard looked at Mikey as though he wanted to argue, but then seemed to change his mind. "Comic books are cool," he muttered, looking away from his brother.

"Yeah, but a discussion on 'why won't Batman just go to therapy' for three hours isn't," Mikey replied.

"Before you guys start this shit again, looks like the sound dudes have finished up. Are you good to go, Ava?" Brian interrupted before Gerard could come back with something to say to Mikey.

"Yeah, absolutely."

Ava stood up, she had never been so anxious to play before. Then again, she'd never had to play alone in front of a big band whose music inspired her so much. She took deep breaths as she walked up to the kit that was positioned in the middle of the stage, grabbing a pair of drumsticks from the side. It was a standard drum kit, nothing new or fancy and showed signs of being used before, but it had nowhere near the amount of wear and tear as the majority of other kits she'd used had. She finally settled on Helena as she sat down behind the drums, doing her hardest not to look at her audience because she knew that if she looked at the five men who would be watching (and possibly criticising) her performance, she would choke and fuck everything up.

After the sound guys ensured she was set up with her earpiece and metronome, she took a deep breath and started the beat. She enjoyed playing Helena, it was new and fun and had some complex combinations that had taken her a while to figure out. That's what she enjoyed the most about drumming, figuring out the combinations and the speed at which to hit the drums until everything sounded perfect, at least perfect to Ava's ears. She hadn't had any complaints about her playing unless you counted noise complaints from the neighbours that had gotten so frequent the landlord had told her that she would have to stop playing the drums in her apartment or she'd be evicted. As much as she hated her apartment, she did need a place to live and so she stuck to playing on a full kit when she had a gig and instead used the majority of the paycheck from a show to buy an electric kit that barely made any noise. She hated it, but she needed something to practice on.

Ava played the way she would play any show, she didn't want to risk trying to show off and fucking up or breaking something and once the song was over the venue was eerily quiet for a beat until the band and Brian started clapping and Ava blushed and smiled awkwardly. For someone whose dream job was to be in a band, compliments and affection made her feel self-conscious. Her life was truly a mystery.

"I guess Brian was right for once," Frank grinned and Brian shot daggers at him.

"I'm always right, Tiny Tim," Brian shot back. "That was great, Ava. Do you think you're ready to play Skylines and Turnstiles with the guys now or do you need a minute?"

"I can play it now," Ava replied. She was already buzzing with adrenaline, in that sweet spot where she just had to play and pump her nervous energy into the drums. Her anxiety was still there, but it was just bubbling below the surface as all she could think about was hitting the drums even more.

Brian nodded and the rest of the guys stood up, being given their respective instruments. Gerard started making strange sounds into the mic and Ava could only assume he was checking that it was working. Most people would just say 'check' or something. Mikey, Frank and Ray each tuned their guitars and after a minute or so, they were ready. This was the important one, this one was the one that would show if they worked well together and decide if she would join them. She put that thought to the back of her mind, she didn't need to overthink this more than she already was.

The song started. Ava hit the note perfectly. She breathed a sigh of relief that she came in at the right time and continued playing. If you asked Ava, she thought that she worked pretty well with them, the song sounded great and she played just as well as the studio version sounded. She just wished that she didn't overthink and doubt herself so much, it was just something that she'd do automatically and having the parents she'd had growing up, she had pretty much no confidence in herself.

The other guys played and sang with the amount of confidence that Ava wished she had. It was awesome to be able to watch them play, let alone play with them. They all worked so well together, except when they had to move out of the way of Frank since he had more energy than anyone Ava had ever met and could probably cause a few injuries if not careful.

The song finished and Ava breathed a sigh of relief. Again. She felt like an idiot for being so damn nervous, but anyone would be if they were in her situation.

"I think that was pretty awesome! What do you guys think?" Brian asked, glancing at the guys with a grin.

"I have to say, that was probably one of our best performances in a long time. Shame there was no one here to see it," Ray answered, looking glumly at the empty room.

"Yeah, it's good to have a drummer that's actually in time with the rest of us. You really play like that every night?" Frank asked, turning to face Ava. She gave another awkward smile.

"I guess. It's weird, I'm not a very energetic person until it comes to playing. Once I get started, something just takes over in me," Ava explained.

"Sounds like Frank," Gerard chuckled. "I think we're all on the same page here, right? Mikey?"

"I'm all for it. I think it's probably up to Ava, right Brian?" Mikey asked and Ava's heart pounded. They actually wanted her. She didn't think this far ahead, she had pretty much been stuck in 'will they, won't they?' land and hadn't actually made a plan for if they did want her. If she said yes, she'd be going on tour tomorrow with nothing to prepare her. If she said no... that wasn't an option. Saying no would be stupid, she'd just be left doing sad gigs and living in her freezing apartment forever.

"It is. How about you guys go back to your hotel and I talk to Ava and do all the business shit?" Brian replied and it seemed they didn't have to be asked twice because they gave their instruments to the techs and headed out, saying quick goodbye's to Ava and Brian.

He motioned for her to come and sit back down at the table and opened up a bag, pulling out a pile of documents, probably a shit ton of paperwork to go through and sign.

"So, legally, I have to ask: are you willing to become the drummer and full-time, permanent member, of My Chemical Romance?" He asked, now using a more serious voice. Ava took a moment. It was a no-brainer.

"I am."