When she woke up, it was dark outside. On the table next to the bed was a sandwich and two apples. Sitting up, she grabbed the apples. She took a giant bite out of one.

Noah came out of his restroom wearing a towel around his waist and drying his hair with another one.

Seeing her awake, he paused. She turned away from his glance.

"You're too thin, Quinn. Eat the sandwich too."

"Are you complaining?"

Since the sheet had fallen to her waist, she looked back to see the answer to her question. His eyes moved over her slowly.

She was thin. Always has been, but it was more pronounce now. Her cheek bones were sharp. Her collarbone and hipbones were protruding but she didn't look sickly.

There was appreciation in his eyes. Worry. How long has it been since she's let herself see the emotion in his eyes?

She looked away. "Your brother has stayed clear of me for four years and the only reason he came around today is because he thought I was about to rack up some points with your father."

"If you don't want the sandwich, I could go find you something else."

"Don't you want to know if I would sleep with your father in your bed?"

He grabbed a pair of shorts out of the dresser. After putting them on, he laid down beside her and started throwing a football up in the air. "I hate my dad. Don't think for one moment he wouldn't sleep with his son's girlfriend. I think his girlfriend is only a couple of years older than you. Maybe that's why our fathers get along so well. Neither have any integrity."

"How could someone dating me, even know what that word means?"

He caught his football and turned his head to look at her. She didn't want to see what was in his eyes this time, so she looked away.

"You have more in your little finger than both of them do. There's a lot of your mom in you, Quinn. You bury it down deep, along with the rest of your feelings, but it's still there."

"I don't know what is wrong with you and your brother today. You're not allowed to talk about her. You know that!"

Wrapping the sheet around her, she marched to the sliding door. As soon as she was close enough to the pool, she dived in. By the time she made it out, her teeth were chattering, but she didn't care. This bottle was the only way she was going to make it through the night.

Noah's face was tight with anger while he wrapped her in a towel and swept her into his arms.

"I don't need you to take care of me."

"Yesterday was your mom's birthday. She's been on our minds a lot. You're not the only one who misses her. And because we lost her, we lost you too, so yes, we've been talking about her. It helps to talk about her. To think about her. Who remembered to throw us birthday parties? Who remembered to pick us up from school every day? We lost her too."

He pushed her into the shower and turned on the hot water.

"I don't have to stick around for this." She threatened.

"Yes, you do. You don't have your car or your phone. I hid mine, and I unplugged all the house phones. While you were sleeping, I also hid your clothes and pieces of your purse all over the house. I hate that fucking purse."

"Where is my bag of pot? I just bought__."

"I flushed it and if Daniel gives you anymore, I'm going to knock his teeth down his throat."

He turned the water off and threw a towel at her.

"I hate you."

The tension in his shoulders eased just a little. "Good, at least that's some kind of emotion. I'm not too fond of you either, by the way. You're so damn blind, Quinn."

"Good, I work hard to be that way. And stop staring at me!"

"Do you want to know why I do that? Two years ago, Jake thought about killing himself. He didn't but__." He ran a hand through his hair and the anger left his voice. "I walked in on him. He had all my mom's medicine bottles emptied into a pile."

Everything in her stomach came back up.

After cleaning her up, he swept her back into his arms and put her back to bed.

She didn't want to believe it. Out of all the times she'd thought about doing it she never had and to know Jake almost had was almost more than she could bear.

Noah laid down beside her again. "He has a doctor now. He says Jake's getting better. The doctor was the one who suggested it was time for Jake to tell us the truth. We're supposed to have family meetings, but mom and dad never show up. Having a son who wanted to kill himself was embarrassing enough, but having one who is gay is more than my dad can handle. For a long time afterwards, I was pissed off at myself for missing all the signs that he needed help."

Noah turned his head to look at her. "I guess I'm always trying to see the signs in you."

She didn't know what to say. Or even what to feel. It was too much. She turned onto her side and stared at his halo poster until she fell asleep.