Despite what I said about actually doing something, I spend so much time hiding away in my room. I've pretty much gotten over Jenna, so that's one good thing.

I still hate that I can't write any lyrics or make any type of music. It annoys me that I'm just so lost at this point in the musical part of me.

The next day, after the night I called Josh over, I sit in my bedroom alone thinking. All I think about is what happens to me at night. I can't stop having nightmares or night terrors. I'm only okay when I have someone with me.

I completely forget about doing anything. I don't eat, and I don't even get out of bed. I don't talk to anyone until 4:30 p.m.

1 New Message
Josh
I just want to know if you're ok
4:34 p.m.

I haven't gotten out of bed today but I'm fine

Are you sure you're okay
You need to eat
4:35
Tyler
4:37
Answer me please
4:40

I'm fine
I've just been thinking about stuff all day

What have you been thinking about the most

What happens to me at night
And how it makes me mad that I can't really do anything musical right now

I really want to help you idk how
4:48
Tyler answer me
4:51
I really want to help you
4:52
Don't ignore me please
4:55

I'm sorry

It's okay. Just don't distance yourself
4:56
You need to talk to someone. Even if it isn't me
4:56
Just don't distance yourself
4:57

Okay.

My advice would just be that you shouldn't worry about music right now. I wanna help with your problems at night but idk how

I'll have to figure that out on my own but thanks anyway

Are you okay

Yeah
Why

Just making sure

Do you want to come over

I will if you want me to yeah

You don't have to

I will if you want me to

Okay
Thanks

You're welcome

._._.

I watch as Josh sits at the end of my bed. "Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"

"I'm sure," I nod.

"Has anything gotten any better?"

"I'm pretty much over Jenna."

"Hey! That's great!" Josh smiles in that optimistic tone of his that I love.

"Yeah. I still don't know what to do about my night terrors, though. I might just have to accept it and deal with them."

"Maybe. Has anything helped you?"

"The only way I don't have them is when I'm with someone I trust. Jenna used to be able to help, and you help. That's about it. And Josh- I know you care, but don't you dare offer to stay the night again," I smirk.

Josh looks down, knowing that I read his mind exactly. "But-"

"No," I laugh. "I've taken up too much of your life. I need to man-up and start dealing with some things myself."

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking up.  "I like staying over."

"I'm sure.  When you stay over, you don't even sleep."

"I'm fine with that.  Do you really need 'the I care about you more than myself speech'?"

"No, Josh," I smile back.  "I get it."

"Hey, at least I make you smile."

"Yeah.  Congrats.  Did you want a reward?" I ask sarcastically.

"Your smile is the reward."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

I pull my fist back, pretending I'm going to punch him.  "I'll make you shut up, Joshua."

"Joshua?  You must be pretty serious."

"Oh, I'm serious," I laugh as I lower my fist.

Stay tuned for weekly updates :3